Instinct

Davien refused to leave my side that night, insisting that I needed to study. That never happened. Usually, I would revel in this time with him, now? Now I wanted to be left alone so I could figure some things out. I wanted to know when Adrian would be back, and what was taking so long.

Davien was sprawled across my bed, his eyes closed, and his chest still. Corpse still. That would be the vampire in him. Like his father, Davien was a pure bred vampire. That gave him status, and because he was the son of Henry? Who held quite a but of power himself, that gave him more. Davien could care less. He got what he wanted with a mere look, having status didn’t effect him in the least.

I swivelled my computer chair around, back to my desk. Homework lay scattered across the mahogany desk, untouched.

My room was simple and plain. A simple bed, a small desk, a bathroom, a computer chair and a trash can. Not to mention a small window. Despite its size, I could fit through it, something I had to test when I was forced to live here. The walls were white, the carpet was an ugly grey, and the lights were as simple as a bulb hanging. The only picture I had, was one of myself and Adrian out in the woods. I was trying not to smile, while he was laughing out right, mud covering him head to toe. Davien never allowed photographs.

“Davien?” No response. I spun the chair again and got up. The bed squeaked as I sat next to him, but I ignored it. So did Davien. As normal. “When’s Adrian getting back?” No response, again. “Davien?”

“Homework.” He grunted out.

“Answer first, then I’ll start.”

“Liar.” His eyes remained closed, but my lips twitched.

“Davi-“ it happened so fast, it took a second for my mind to catch up with my body. One second I was sitting next to him, the next I was underneath him as he stared down at me, his body pinning mine. His eyes were now open, and the corners of his mouth were slightly twitched, which for him, was a full out smile. To normal people? It was a frown, opposed to his normal grimace.

I couldn’t stop the laugh from leaving me, and the momentary joy that filled my mind. His hands, though cold, felt warm against my skin, and his body was solid against mine. It was a soothing feeling, a heated feeling, but I ignored it. It was a step I wasn’t ready to take with Davien, and he knew that. It didn’t stop him from testing the boundaries though, and since it was a rare sign of affection from him, I didn’t mind. But now I did. Usually his eyes were lit up more, but now? Just faintly amused. He did this as a distraction.

“Where’s Adrian?” He grunted, his head coming down. Instead of his lips meeting mine, they met my neck, sending a shiver down my spine. The first time he did that, fear clogged my senses. However, Davien hated feeding in front of me. And the one time I offered him my blood? More to just get it out in the open than anything, he wouldn’t talk to me for a week. He would never bite me, let alone let someone, so I felt no fear, just shivers as his cool lips wandered across my skin.

“Seriousl-“ this time they found my lips, and his plan worked. Thoughts vanished, and heat slammed into me. Logically, I should be cold, since his body was frigid, but I wasn’t. His lips were soft, yet rough, as they pulled my top lip and nipped, without drawing blood. His tongue slid into my mouth, not waiting for permission and I found myself numbed. I kissed him back, but I was a novice compared to him. Not that he ever mentioned it.

His body pressed harder against mine, his hand beginning to roam. This was how it started, and I would allow it. Then his hands would find a way under some piece of clothing, and I would allow it. And then... then I usually stopped it. But what if I didn’t? What was I afraid of? What was I worrying about?

Goose bumps spread across my skin as his hands slid up my sides, pressing my shirt up, and up and-

“Davien.” I mumbled as I turned away, my breathing harsh. That was one thing I envied about him; no shortage of breath. His head lifted, his nose almost touching mine as he stared down, his hands resting right below my breasts. The darkness of them never ceased to send a chill through me, and I was desperately hoping I would stop swooning every time he stared at me like this.

“Kara.” He responded, his voice low as he remained where he was. My heart hammered against my chest, and by the slight twitch of his lips, I knew he could hear it. I scowled now, wiggling to get out from underneath him. He let me sit up, since there was no way I could best his strength, before wrapping his arms once again around me. I allowed it, despite my annoyance at him for the distraction.

“I want to know where he is, Davien. And when will he get back? It’s already been-“

”Soon.” I struggled, wanting to ask more, but knowing he already gave me more than normal. In the end, I snuggled into his chest and shut my eyes. It wasn’t often Davien just held me, so I took advantage of it. He grunted, but tightened his grip nonetheless.

A snarl tore out, my lips peeling back from my teeth. It rumbled low, adding more menace than I could physically show. My hackles rose as I stood my ground, not daring to back down. This was my territory, my home.

The wolf in front of me mirrored my stance and sounds for his own, coming closer every second. I was a pup to it, but it was a pup to me. I was small, but I would kill him for trespassing. I would make a statement, and then I would feast.

The wolf in front of my made the first move, striking faster than I thought. I dropped, my legs protesting at the sudden movement. His body sailed over mine, mouth and claws both catching my fur. I spun and lunged this time, before he could recover. I hit his side, tumbling us both. I got in one good swipe before he got in one of his own. We snarled and yipped, each trying to get the upper hand.

His claws slashed my side, sending a wave of agony to my mind. I yelped and slashed back, knocking his weight off me. He landed awkwardly before bounding up, snarling once again. I snarled back and lunged, aiming for his neck. He shifted and I got his hind, my teeth biting in tough. A yelp rang out of him as blood spilled into my mouth and...

The metallic taste sent a wave of pleasure through me, urging me to take more. To rip, to slash, and to end his pathetic life. I wanted more blood, and I wanted his life to slip away with his blood as I lapped it up and soaked it in. I wanted to end him, I wanted to cause him his death and I wanted to feel it all. I released him, turned, and lunged for his neck. My muzzle clamped down an-

Gasping, I spun. My body plummeted, momentarily filling me with dread, before I hit the ground. I gasped again, scrambling to stand up, to get away. I had to get the blood off, to get the taste out of my mouth, I had to-

“Kara?” I spun, my chest heaving, to the sound. Davien sat in my bed, his hear tousled and his chest bare. No blush came to my cheeks this time, as confusion hit me. Where was I?

My eyes quickly spun around my surroundings, taking everything in. I was in my room? But...

My eyes snapped down to myself, my hands lifting up. Although the room was pitch black, I could see. As always. My hands were that; hands. They were pale, and while blood ran through them, none coated them. They shook as my breathing hitched. But I could taste it, I could-

“Kar-“ he stood, coming for me. Panic filled me, and before I could register the thought that it was Davien of all people with me, I fled to the bathroom. I flicked the light on immediately and looked into the mirror. I expected some blood thirsty monster staring back at me, but what I saw was my face. Me. Was that the horror of it all? Was it in me, was I becoming that which I despised? I couldn’t stop the sob that tore through me as I sunk to the ground.

I didn’t want this. I never wanted this.

The door slammed open, and I jumped. Davien burst in scowling, dropped to me, and took my head in his hands. He stared me directly in the eye until I had to shut them. I didn’t want him to see me like this. I didn’t want to be near him when my mouth tasted bloody, and I didn’t want his pity.

“Was a dream. That’s all.” I couldn’t stop the bitter laugh from leaving.

“No, Davien. It was a glimpse of the future. It’s what I’ll becom-“his hand pressed against my mouth, and when I looked up at him, I found him glaring down at me. I flinched, pulling my knees to my chest.

“No. Monsters don’t cry.” Was I crying? I sniffled, and felt the sting in my eyes. I was. Hell. This was the last thing I wanted Davien to see. I shifted, trying to move away from him, but he didn’t let me budge. Just stayed there, staring at me. He didn’t hold me or tell me it was okay, as Adrian did, but he stayed. That was enough.

By the time I did stop crying, I felt foolish. As I always did. Only usually, Davien wasn’t around to witness my breakdown. But he had been, and he’d known immediately what it was about. What would I say to that? Nothing, so I remained silent. Only when the sun rose did Davien leave my side, insisting I have a shower. I heard my bed squeak as he settled himself in my room again.

I turned on the shower first, letting the heat fill the bathroom, and then I turned to the mirror. My hair was tangled and knotted around my head, my eyes were puffy and red, my nose looked like Rudolph with snot and my face was streaked. My body looked thin and fragile and I looked... broken. The only consolation I could come up with was that I didn’t look like a monster. Yet.

No matter how hard I tried to ignore that part of me, I couldn’t. It was me. Or I was it. Hell, I didn’t know. All I knew that when I didn’t turn on a lamp at night, when I didn’t need stitches over a cut, and when I could hear things in the other room, I was being what was in me. I was acting on the being apart of me, and it was bringing me one step closer to what I was trying to push away. Every time I did that, it brought me closer and closer to becoming a full werewolf, and a monster at that.