To Hold You for a Second

“Hello, Annabel.” I knelt down next to her on the green grass. “I’m so, so sorry, Bell.”

She looked at me from her position on my bed next to me. Beautiful blue eyes saddened, haunted. I didn’t matter to me. She was still beautiful. Annabel.

My Annabel. Seventeen (I was a year older), blonde, sweet, funny, and stunning.

Her foster parents wanted to ship her off somewhere. They told her they were sick of her, hated her, and it was her time to either leave or die.

But I wouldn’t let them take her away from me.

We were never far from each other, never apart. Best friends.

I loved her, though. I wanted, no, needed her. I couldn’t function without Annabel. She was saying something, and I wasn’t paying attention, just staring into her beautiful eyes.

“Gabe?” She waved a hand across my face. “Hello? Gabe? I need you right now.” Her voice cracked.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized and swept her into my arms as she sobbed. My vision began to blur as tears clouded my vision. Whenever she broke down, I did, too. It’s how we worked.

“I don’t want to leave,” she sobbed into my shirt.

I pressed my lips to the top of her head, my tears sliding off of my face and into her golden hair. “I won’t let you leave. You can stay here. With me. My parents won’t mind, you practically live here already.”

“Really?” She looked up, hopeful. “Why would you do that?”

I rolled my eyes. “Are you seriously asking me that question, Annabel?”

She sniffed. “I need to hear it.”

“Because,” I told her softly. “You’re my best friend. And I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“No,” I said urgently. “Not like I do. I love you. As in, if I could, I would grab you, and kiss you.”

She looked me in the eyes. “Then do it.”

She didn’t need to repeat it. I looked her in the eyes and slowly leaned down, keeping eye contact the whole time. I kissed the side of her lips, and then her nose, and then underneath her right ear.

She moaned. “Don’t tease me like this, Gabe.”

I smiled at her wickedly. “And why not?” I whispered into her ear, and she shivered, pleasing me.

“That’s not grabbing me and kissing me.”

“Yes, but I’ve waited for this for a long, long time,” I answered.

She grabbed me and pulled my face to hers, but I grabbed her hands. I smiled wickedly once more. I pushed her backwards so she was lying down on my bed, and I positioned my body over hers, careful to support my body on my elbows on either side of her. I lowered myself down until we were chest to chest and I could feel her heart thudding madly through her chest. She looked up at me, curious. I gazed into her eyes.

“Gabe…” she whispered.

I lowered my lips down, but instead of finally kissing her, I put my lips to her neck and placed a kiss on the base of her neck.

She let out a guttural moan and yanked my face to hers. I kissed her, finally, and heat flowed through me, pumping through my veins and making me aware of only her. I deepened the kiss and bit her bottom lip. She opened her mouth and I explored her mouth hungrily. I broke away, disappointing her, and went back to her neck, kissing down it and across her shoulders. She buried her fingers in my hair and I went back to her lips. We finally broke away, panting. She tugged at my shirt, eyes smoldering.

“Are you sure?” I asked.

She nodded without hesitation.

We pressed on. I’m going to respect that night, and leave it at… it was amazing.

Annabel moved in with my family and I; everything was amazing.

Or so I had thought.

Tears leaked from my eyes as I recalled everything.

“Bell,” I called into her room. I looked around. “Bell? Annabel?” There was a note on her pillow. I picked it up.

Dear Gabe:

I love you. I love you, I love you. You know that. But there’s something you should know. I’m pregnant. Before you think anything of me, yes, it’s yours. I had to get out of here. Clear my head. When I’ll be back, I don’t know. In two hours, tomorrow, next week, three months from now? I can’t say. I don’t know. I love you, Gabe.

Annabel.

Oh, Annabel. I looked down and sobbed. My tears fell onto the grass and sparkled in the sunlight. “I’ve missed you.” Nothing happened. What, did I expect to hear her say something? I knew she couldn’t say anything. “When does it get better, Annabel? I’m still hurting,” I blinked, anguished.

I crumpled the note, blinking tears away. “Annabel,” I whispered.

I had to get out of the house, had to find her. I grabbed my car keys, got in the car, and drove around the town.

My vision swam.

I saw it. Saw her car at the stoplight. I knew it instantly. It was the only one I’d ever seen with a bumper sticker that said, “RAWR!” on it.

I got out of my car, ignoring the honks of the people behind me. I ran past the few cars separating us, when the light turned green, and she began to move forward slowly.

I closed my eyes, feeling sick.

I heard a loud, obnoxious motor. I turned towards the noise. It was a car being chased by cop cars.

It drove at an all too fast pace towards the stoplight.

I put my head in between my knees, taking deep breaths, tears escaping my closed eyelids.

She didn’t see it. But I did. And I knew, I knew what was going to happen. “Annabel!” I screamed, and watched in horror as the car ran through the red light, brakes squealing, crashing into my dear love, my dear Annabel.

I felt lightheaded.

“NO!” I screamed, and ran to the wreckage. “NO! ANNABEL!” I screamed like a madman, barely aware of the sound of the sirens of the ambulance. Her car was overturned, her hand hanging out the open window. “ANNABELL!” I screamed over and over, trying to make it to her window. I finally got there, and saw my love, bloody, broken and dazed. I screamed. Her bones stuck out at odd angles.

I slumped down even further on the ground, crying fully, gasping for breath, saying, “No! No!”

Her eyes focused on me. “Gabe,” she whispered. “Gabe, I love you. I’m sorry.” Her eyes closed slowly, and her body went limp.

I reached over and clutched her gravestone. “Annabel,” I sobbed. “Bell, my Annabel. Why did you have to leave me? I wasn’t going to let you go, but you left me anyways. ”

Screaming, screaming words, screaming pain in my heart, screaming sirens. Blackness.

I kissed her gravestone, sobbing. “You’re my only love. I never should have let you go. Oh, Love, until I’ll be with you, I’m dying on my own.”