Impact

It was still raining harder than ever. Just another thing Talia couldn’t control about the world around her. It was hard to fall asleep to calming rain when the same could not be said of her mind.

If she could, she would bring Riley back to life. Only for selfish purposes. The thought of this made Tally feel even worse. The fact that Asher was going through his own personal hell made her feel almost as bad.

The math final was only a day away, and Tally knew nothing. Studying was a drag, so when she got a call in the evening, she gladly pried her eyes away from the review work and quickly picked up.

“Tally?” the voice on the other end spoke.

“Um, yes… who is this?”

“It’s Riley. I’m worried about Asher.”

Tally had worried herself sick, hearing about Asher’s venture to a party the other night and how he had not returned. He had told his mother he was going to sleepover at his friend’s house, so no one in the family was worried, but Riley’s anxiety outshined his calmness.

In the end, he had fallen asleep on the side of a road, and Riley and Tally had dragged him back home.

The memory made Tally clench her fists, until the blood flow stopped in them. Asher had long fallen asleep, tiring himself out from the tears. He had left Tally stunned. The words Asher had spoken – the ones she could grasp, at least – were so full of anger and melancholy. Both had apparently transferred into her.

He just had to die. Couldn’t bear staying alive. Couldn’t just stay home this one day and not get hit by a damn car.

Her own thoughts had made her feel despicable, had made her loathe herself.

Yet, they had made her feel released and free. It wasn’t fair to blame Riley for dying, but then she couldn’t blame anyone. And that was one thing she could not live with – she had to blame someone for Asher’s pain, otherwise she’d blame herself. And that would make her even more selfish than her thoughts could possibly handle.

If only Tally could stop time in its tracks. Then maybe her mind could be at peace and she wouldn’t have to think of Riley Wiliams’s own selfishness in dying. The only[/i[ way she could think of the situation.

Only an hour later did Tally learn the hard way that controlling one’s thoughts required more effort than possibly anything else in the world. And until one could do that, sleep was impossible.