Dirty Little Secret

Almost a week had passed since Jack had first come over, and it had become a regular event. He showed up the next day without an invitation, so we had no choice but to let him in. Today was going to be his last day in Baltimore before he had to leave for New York. I insisted that he spent it with his band members, but he disregarded my protests and said he would bring them over so I could meet them.

I was almost finished getting dressed when my perky best friend walked into the room.

“Hey,” I said, “Which shirt do you like better?”

I held up a maroon baby doll top and a floral tank. She pointed at the maroon shirt, and I quickly put it on. I topped my lips off with another layer of lip gloss and turned to look at my oddly quiet friend.

“What’s up with you today?” I asked as I smoothed my shirt over my stomach. I was still getting used to the idea of having a baby bump.

She shrugged and played with the ends of her blond hair. “I don’t like the way you’re getting all worked up about Jack.”

I stopped fixing my hair in the mirror. “I’m not getting worked up. What would make you think that?”

“Look at you. You’ve been in here for over an hour and a half getting dressed,” she said pointedly.

I scoffed. “That doesn’t mean I’m doing it for Jack. I’m a pregnant woman, and it’s not my fault I want to look appealing.”

Caitlyn laughed and I was glad when she didn’t push any further conversation about him. “So what time are the guys coming?”

The doorbell rang. “Right now.”

I walked past the blond and made my way to the front door. The bell rang two more times before I got there, and I knew right away that it was Jack.

“Impatient much?” I asked as I opened the door.

The tall boy gave me a quick hug and moved on to make himself comfortable on the couch.

I heard Caitlyn scoff behind me. “I don’t see why you keep on inviting him over. He’s so rude.”

I elbowed her lightly and shushed her. “You guys can come in,” I said to the three remaining boys.

They shuffled in through the door and joined their guitarist in the living room.

“Nice place you got here,” the boy with the beanie said.

“Thanks,” I said.

He extended his hand for me to shake. “I’m Alex.”

“Holly.”

“Would you turn me on?” I turned to Jack in confusion.

The four of them laughed.

“What’s so funny?”

“The title of one of our songs is ‘Holly (Would You Turn Me On?)’,” The one with the buzz cut answered.

“Let me guess,” Alex said, “Your friend’s name is Maria.”

Caitlyn spoke up. “Nope. Far from it. And it’s not Stella ether, if you were going to ask, so I won’t count you in or take you home.”

---

As expected, my best friend ignored Jack and mainly talked to the other guys, although Zack didn’t talk much. I didn’t understand why she disliked Jack so much seeing as how she didn’t know him well enough to judge.

During the hour that they had been here, I had gotten to know their drummer, Rian, well. He was a very animated person, so I was surprised when he told me some of the fans didn’t even know he was part of the band. He told me that Alex, on the other hand, was the most popular followed by Jack and Zack. It was hard to believe that he was the least noticed since he seemed so outgoing and sincere.

“So what’s your story?”

I looked in his wondering eyes. “What do you mean?”

“You’re a beautiful 21 year old girl with your life ahead of you. Why are you pregnant?”

“U-uh,” I stuttered, unable to conjure up any words.

Rian shook his head. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable. I know haven’t known each other long, but I was just curious.”

My attention momentarily shifted to Jack talking animatedly with Zack, but I quickly looked away hoping that he didn’t see.

“No, it’s okay,” I said, “I was just another party girl who finally got a taste of the real world. It was always about me and how to make myself feel better. I didn’t care about anybody else. I didn’t stop to think about the consequences and when I found out that I was pregnant, I thought my world was ending.

“I couldn’t even get my life together, let alone care for another person. Things changed, though, when I told my mom. Surprisingly, she helped me through the first few weeks. And now I’m actually glad to be having this little girl.”

“Wow,” Rian said, “It’s great that you feel that way. So what about the father?”

I bit my lip. “If you’re asking whether he knows or not, he doesn’t.”

“Do you still talk to him?”

I sighed. “Not really.”

That was a lie but I knew that if I told Rian, he would tell the others considering how close they were.

“Holly, let’s go out for pizza,” Alex said, “I’m fucking hungry.”

“Language!” Jack shouted. “Baby in the room.”

He gave me a smile, and I gingerly grinned back. “Okay, cool. I just need to get my bag.”

“I’ll wait for you,” he said.

I shook my head. “You don’t have to. I’ll be there in a minute.”

I walked into my bedroom to retrieve my purse and grabbed my phone off of the nightstand next to my bed.

“So what did you and Rian talk about?”

I glanced up at my friend. “Nothing, really. Just small talk.”

She gave me a look.

“I told him about the baby,” I said.

Her eyes widened. “You told him that Jack’s the father?! Are you fucking crazy? I thought you wanted to keep this a secret.”

“I’m sorry, what did you just say?”

Caitlyn and I turned to the door and were met with Rian’s shocked expression.

“Uh, just kidding?” Caitlyn spoke up.

All I could do was stare at my new friend in horror. This was not how I intended to tell him.