Love is Forever, not a Day

I want to tell you my 87 year old Grandmothers story. She was one of the most amazing people I knew, and had a heart of gold. Her name was Caroline, and she had never been married. Before my Dad was born his ‘Dad’ left, and never came back. This is her story.

The year was 1945 and Caroline was 22 years old. She was eight months pregnant with her fiancé Henry’s child, which at the time was very unusual. For a young woman her age to not be married already while being pregnant was frowned upon. Her father demanded they be married at once, but Caroline convinced him to let her have her big wedding she’d always dreamed of. So he reluctantly agreed, and since then her father and family had been very supportive. Caroline and Henry got a home together and were about to be married in a week. Caroline and Henry had been dating for four years and she was very excited they were about to get married and start their family. She loved him more than anything in the world.

It was a very hot morning in June when Henry walked into their bedroom.

“Hello darling.” He said crawling on the bed, lifting up her shirt and planting a kiss on her very pregnant belly.

“How’s my boy?” Henry asked looking up into Caroline’s eyes, they glittered a deep radiant green.

“He’s good, I’m hoping he’ll wait until after the wedding and honeymoon to make his appearance.” Caroline replied, stroking Henry’s rich chocolate colored hair. She couldn’t believe she was going to have her own little family, she knew they were going to be so happy. They were going to have a little boy, whom they decided to name Matthew Alexander.

“Caroline, what are you thinking?” Henry asked looking up at Caroline with questioning eyes, she smiled back at him.

“That I’m happy we’re going to be a family.” She said simply as he placed a hand on her cheek and kissed her gently.

“Me too honey.” Henry said rolling over onto his back, as he watched Caroline get up off the bed; she was going to meet her brother for lunch. Caroline walked into the living room, grabbing her purse and yelled back to Henry,

“I have to get going, I’ll be back later. I love you.” Walking out the door, she heard Henry yell, ‘I love you too’, back at her.

When she got to the diner, her brother George was already waiting for her. George stood up admiring the glow of his very pregnant sister and gave her a big hug.

“Caroline you look beautiful today. How are you feeling?” George asked her.

“Well thank you.” Caroline answered back smiling, “I’m feeling pretty good actually, excited for the wedding.” They sat down and started talking some more.

“So, my little sister is getting married in a week, and she’s having my first nephew. I’m a happy guy.” George said smiling at Caroline, she was his only sister and he was glad she was happy.

“Well you gave me two nieces, so I figured I’d repay the favor.” She said making him laugh. They sat ate lunch, talked about life and family for a while when Caroline told George she was getting tired. George offered to give his sister a ride home since she’d walked to the diner.

When they got back to the house the door was locked, and the car was gone. Caroline figured Henry went to see one of his friends.

“I’m surprised he didn’t wait for you to get home.” George said as they walked into the house.

As soon as Caroline stepped foot inside the house it felt cold and empty. Her heart started pounding in her chest and she felt her palms start to sweat. She looked around noticing little things were gone. Caroline’s heart started to make a thundering thudding noise in her ears as she looked around, searching for something to indicate what was wrong. Her eyes found it, sitting on the counter between the kitchen and dining room, a little scrape of paper. She ran over to it and picked it up, starting to read Henry’s handwriting.

“Caroline, what is going on?” George asked her as her hand flew up to her mouth.

Caroline-
I’m sorry I wasn’t man enough to tell you this to your face,
but I’m not sorry that I left. I don’t love you anymore, and I
never will again. I haven’t loved you for a very long time. The
only reason I asked you to marry me is because I found out
you were pregnant, and it was the right thing to do. I just can’t
do this, I’m only 22. I won’t sacrifice the rest of my life for you
and that mistake. Don’t look for me or try to get me to come back,
because I never will.
-Henry

When she was done reading it she started sobbing so hard she couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t believe it, her whole happy little world crashed in a matter of seconds. The hot wet tears streamed down her face as she heard her brother yell.

“Caroline, oh my gosh, what did that say?!” George asked but Caroline couldn’t answer him, he ran and grabbed her a brown paper bag to breathe into so she wouldn’t hyperventilate. He grabbed the note out of her hand and crumpled it in his hand when he finished.

“That son of a bitch!” George seethed, he couldn’t believe it. Not even an hour ago she was so happy and Henry just ruined that for her in less than five minutes. It was just then he realized what he had said.

“Pardon my language Caroline, but I can’t believe he did this.” He added.

Everything after that was a blur to Caroline, her mother and father came over to console her as she cried. She went to stay with them for a while. For a week Caroline was dead to the world, she didn’t eat and all she did was sleep. On that day that was supposed to be her wedding day, she awoke sobbing. Her mother came in to see what was wrong.

“I’ll never get it back.” She sobbed into her mother’s comforting arms.

“Never get what back sweetie?” Her mother asked her. Caroline sat up and wiped her eyes looking at her.

“My heart, he’ll always have it. I’ll never love another.” Caroline replied, simply put.

After a few more minutes Caroline’s mother left her in her room. She got dressed into a simple sundress, pulling her long chestnut hair back into a bun at the nape of her neck. Her father called her out to the front porch and told her they needed to talk. So she sat down in front of her parents, looking at her father waiting for him to talk. He looked back at her debating on how he wanted to start.

“You know we love you, but you also know how this is going to look right? You being pregnant without a husband.” He said straightening himself in his whicker chair. Caroline’s father was a big strong man who owned his own hardware store, so naturally she’d always been a little frightened of him.

“We’re going to have to find you a new man now…” he said before Caroline interrupted him.

“No! Daddy, no! I will not find a new man. Matthew and I will do fine on our own.” She protested and he just looked at her.

“You really think that will work?” he asked.

“Yes, I already have a house; I’ll get a job and take care of us.” Cora announced proudly.

“Fine Caroline, if that’s really the way you want it. You’ll come work at the store for me and your Mama will watch the baby during the day. You know this is going to be hard, wouldn’t it just be easier to just find a new man?” Her father asked her seriously.

Caroline looked right back at him and said,

“Ok if that’s the plan. I know it’s going to be hard, but I’m not going to let my baby down, and I won’t let you two down either. As for finding a new man, sure it might be easier, for any other girl besides me. But I won’t do it, Henry may never return my love, but I will always love him. When you love someone, you love them forever, not just a day.”

So that was how it would be, just Matthew and Caroline from then on.

One week after that, my Grandmother had my dad, Matthew Alexander Adams. She gave him my “Grandpa’s” last name even though everyone told her not to. My Grandma couldn’t help it though; she always believed her soul mate would return for her.

My dad told me once that she never dated, not even kissed another man since Henry. When I asked her why one time she said ‘Because little one, I’m waiting for my love to come back.’ Even though I consider him a jerk I always thought it was so romantic she waited for him. My Grandmother passed away waiting for him to return to her.

So that’s the story of my Grandmother who held on truly to a love, for sixty five years, that never got returned.