The Dream State

They say that most of us can’t remember much about when we were little. They also say that seeing death changes you. Both of these statements are true. When I was five I was in a car accident with my parents and my twin sister Libby. Both of my parents died instantly and Libby was in a comma for three weeks. I stayed by her side for those three weeks until she died. I watched her die and when she did it felt like part of me had died with her. I went to go live with my grandparents after that but I was never the same. My grandmother sent me to go see all sorts of doctors and therapists. Every single one of them came to the same conclusion, watching my sister and parents die had left me mentally scarred. Ever sense the accident I can remember everything perfectly, as if it was yesterday. All starting with that bozo who ran that red light.
After seeing Libby die I started to have nightmares, which was kind of why gram made me see all of those doctors and therapists. Every nightmare would start differently but end the same. I would be in some sort of danger, about to be killed but then I would see Libby and she would save me just before I was about to die. In my dreams she looked just as she had before the accident. Then she would ask me the same question every time. She would ask, “Why didn’t you save me Peyton?” I’d jolt awake in a cold sweat, whimpering and crying.
Unfortunately the summer ended and I had to be enrolled into the eighth grade. My gram had home schooled me ever since kindergarten, but now my grandpa insisted that I go to public school. The mere thought of going to school with other kids gave me the willies. I knew that the other kids would never understand what I had gone through, no one would ever understand.
On my first day of school my gram walked me to my class to meet my teacher. The room was filled with kids my age, but none of them were like me. They were either talking in their clicks or looking for a place to sit. At least they didn’t fell lost and confused. My grandmother got down at eye level and said to me, “Peyton, this is your first day of school and I want you to have fun.”
“I’ll try.” I replied.
“No,” she said, “You will have fun, and please Peyton, try to make a friend.” Then she said something to my teacher, waved good buy to me and walked out of the room.
I sat down in a yellow plastic chair watching kids file into the room when a voice behind me said
“Hi, my name’s Joey, aren’t you Fran and Ted’s granddaughter?” he asked.
“Yep.” I answered vaguely.
“Oh, sorry about your family.” He said.
“Well it’s not like you killed them.
“Can I see your schedule?” he asked
“Sure” I said as I handed over my paper.
“Hey, cool,” he exclaimed, “we have the same classes except for related arts, but you’ll have related arts with Viva.”
“Who’s Viva?” I asked even though I could hardly care less who this Viva person was.
“Oh she’s a friend of mine, she’s really nice, and you’ll like her.” He answered.
“I don’t think I caught your name.” he said
“I don’t think I dropped it.” I replied
After that I spent my time following Joey around in order to actually find to my classes. By the time lunch came around I was starving.
“Hey Peyton,” yelled Joey “you can come eat lunch with me and my friends.”
“Oh joy.” I muttered under my breath, but I walked over to the table anyway. When I got to the table I sat next to Joey.
“Hey guys,” he said to his friends “this is Peyton, Peyton this is the soccer team, not including Kia, Kate, and Viva.” He said gesturing towards the three girls sitting among the boys. Then he started to drone on saying each guy’s name and what position they played on the field but I had already blocked him out of my mind. What I did notice was Viva, she was giving me a death glare from across the table. If looks could kill I’d be dead.
After lunch a girl with white blond streaked with blue came up to me. I recognized the girl from the lunch table.
“Hey,” she said “your Peyton right?”
“Yep.” I answered.
“I’m Kia. Hey sorry about Viva, she isn’t exactly what you’d call a people person. Joey said that you have related arts with Viva and me. Oh and if I were you I would give Viva some time to cool off, she has somewhat of a temper and she was kind of jealous of all the attention your getting from Joey.”
“Well she can have Joey all to herself, cause I could really care less.” I said.
“Those are some harsh words, don’t you think?” asked Kia.
After related arts I was getting my stuff to go home when Joey came up behind me and said
“Hey Peyton, there’s soccer practice after school, you wanna come?” I was about to say yes to his offer when I spotted Viva coming down the hall towards us. I quickly answered,
“No thanks, I’ve got homework to do.” I answered. As I walked away I could here Viva say to Joey,
“She doesn’t have any homework, she’s just not interested. But I’ll come to your practice.”
“Yeah whatever.” Said Joey.
The next day I was walking out the door when my gram yelled,
“Hey Peyton, do you want a ride too school?”
“No thanks gram, I’ll just ride the bus.” I ran out the front door to the end of the driveway and sat on the brick wall in front of our house. After what felt like forever the bus finally came around I climbed up the stairs and walked to the back of the bus.
“Hey Peyton.” Said a voice in the back of the bus. I looked towards the back of the bus and spotted Kia waving at me. I sat down next to her.
“Hey,” she said “are you going to join track?” she asked.
“Yeah sure.” I said. Ever sense I was little I can remember loving to run. But I had never ran against anyone, I always ran against my self like I was trying to out run all of my problems but in the end my problems always managed to catch up with me.
“Hey, space case, time to get off the bus.” Said Kia
“Oh, sorry,” I said, “I was just thinking.”
That day after related arts I followed Kia to the gym. Quickly we changed into our track close and walked to the track. On the way there we met up with Joey and Kate.
“I didn’t know that you ran track.” Said Joey.
“Well I wasn’t running track until this morning.” I said.
I soon leraned that Kate, like me ran long distance. I ran with her during track and she turned out to really interesting person. We talked about all sorts of things. Our creepy science teacher, people in our grade and all sorts of things. I learned that she was going out with Ben, the soccer team’s goalie.
After track, when I was doing my homework my gram came into my room.
“How was school?” she asked, “Did you make any friends?”
“Good and yes,” I answered, “I met Kia, Kate, Viva and the entire boys soccer team.”
“Well, that’s good.” Said gram, “See I told you that you would have fun.”
That night I had another one of my nightmares, but this one was different. I was with Libby at the track. Oh great I thought, am I going to get trampled to death by the track team?
“Peyton,” said Libby “you can stop running now. You could have never saved me. Just don’t forget me.” Then she stood up and walked away and out of my life.
The next morning I woke up, not in tears or whimpering or tiered but felling like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I walked downstairs to where my grandparents were.
“Well,” said my gram, “you sure look happy.”
“I told you that being with other kids her age and sending her to public school would be good for her.” Said my grandpa. After that I finally realized that I could have never saved my sister and that I just had to move on with my life.