You Just Love to Hate Me

They were very pale. Very, very pale. The kind of shade someone will go when they're about to throw up. Tanned skin and dark hair flopped in front of his face, chocolate brown eyes that were now dull, with tears pooled in the corner.

I ran a hand through my hair shakily and so did he. I was feeling very hot-the kind of hot you get after doing vigorous exercise- but my skin was cold and clammy to the touch.

A tear plipped into the toilet bowl and my reflection was shattered with ripples. I was doing everything in my power to stop myself from throwing up. So far, it was working.

Going over to the sink, I gripped the side tightly as I splashed my face with cold water. I hope this helps, because it was bloody freezing. I shook violently, my body going into uncontrollable spasms. It was like I was shivering, but I was nowhere near cold.

“Monte” His cold voice tore through the silence and echoed off the tiled walls. To me, it was ten times louder than it actually was, so it felt as if someone was drumming on my skull with a hammer. There was no emotion in his voice whatsoever.

“M-Max...” I returned his coldness, but with difficulty.

“I know what you're trying to do.” Accusation flared in his eyes.

“What are you on about?”

“Oh yes.” He sneered. “I know all about your little plan, trying to stop me from getting Craig.”

“I don't..” Was this guy delirious? I wasn't trying to stop him from going after anybody. Sure, I'd be disappointed if him and Craig got together, but that's just life, isn't it? You win some, you lose some.

“I've seen the way you act around him. Mooning over him when he's on stage like a love-sick puppy. It's pathetic! You're pathetic. That's just to entertain the crowd you know, what he does in stage. It's not because he wants you. You're no more than a good friend to him. And you never will be.”

Those last words struck me speechless. They circled round and round in my head, causing more pain then I was already in. Max was right. I never will be good enough for Craig, he will never see me as anything more. I'll waste my life chasing something I can't have.

I let go off the sink and turned, shaking, to face him.

“No...”My voice was weak, in complete contrast to Max's booming tones.”I won't believe you...”

“You stay the fuck away from him!” Max squared up to me, right in my face. I wasn't scared though. “You hear me, Money?” He seized my shirt and shoved me against the wall. I was in no mood to fight, I was too weak. But I answered back anyway.

“No.”

“What was that?” Max's hand crept round my throat and I glared at him. His eyes were cold and heartless. He would probably kill me, simply wash his hands of my blood and then walk away as if nothing had happened.

“No.” I was beginning to get sick of repeating myself.

“What on Earth is going on here?” Craig, the man we were “fighting” over, the reason I was pinned up against the wall in a death grip, sounded shocked at the scene before him. “I want an answer. Now.”

“Nothing...we were just talking.” Max's hand was still round my throat. He looked at me pointedly. “Weren't we Monte?” His teeth were gritted.

“Yeah...talking.” I was a compulsive liar, dammit. Plus, I didn't want Craig to find out that our little spate was over him, and I doubt Max was all that keen on him knowing either.

His grip on my neck loosened before he let me go, turning to leave, but not without throwing me a glare on the way out. I returned it with venom. Oh crap, I was left alone with Craig. He'd want some answers; he wasn't gullible.

“Didn't look like talking.” Craig raised an eyebrow and walked over to my side. “Monte...what happened?” He touched my shoulder gently, his voice calm and soothing. Although I'm sure it was just supposed to be a friendly gesture, his touch sent shock waves through my body and made my pulse race uncontrollably.

“He...” My shaking returned and my vision went cloudy.

Then, without warning, I blacked out.