I See You Lying Next To Me

2 Months Later

Kitty was calling up Liz in LA because she had come to a decision, she felt great, and everything was just going fine at the moment and she had decided that she was definitely going to go to LA to Adrienne and Billie’s anniversary party.

The painting had been wrapped up and had left the gallery yesterday. She had finally finished it just over a week ago and she was so proud of it, it was one of her best pieces. She almost didn’t want to let it go but she had to because it was for Billie.

She just wished she could have shown it to Gerard.

So she’d decided to go to LA and wondered if Liz would be going to the party. She had heard that My Chem were going and taking guests and that was what made her decide to go too, she was going to see Liz, to tell her all about the baby and may be she would snatch some time with Gerard, she finally felt strong enough to face him and tell him about his baby.

“Hi Kitty, saw your number flash up. Did the painting go?” Said Liz.

“Yes, it went off yesterday, I wish you could have seen it, I’m so pleased with it.”

“Well I could tell by the photo you sent me it was great, a lot of time, effort and crush-like love definitely went into it, I could tell,” said Liz.

“Oh shut up Liz about that, that was years ago. I’ve come to a decision, I didn’t tell you before but this unveiling of the painting, anniversary party that you are all going to, I was actually invited a while back but hadn’t made my decision until just now. I’m going to come out, I’ll bet there too Liz, I can’t wait to see you.”

“Oh Kitty, oh no,” said Liz, sounding disappointed.

“What is it Liz?” said Kitty.

“I’m…we’re…Bob and I aren’t going to be there after all.”

“Oh no, how come?” said Kitty. Oh shit, when was she going to tell Liz about the baby now?

”I know, its just that seeing as the tour will be finishing the day before the party, Bob has booked us flights to Chicago to meet his parents. He wants us all to meet and this is the only opportunity,” said Liz. She had been so happy when he’d asked her to go with him. They’d hardly been apart for a moment; Bob was everything that she had always been looking for.

“Well of course you have to go, I understand. I guess it’s getting pretty serious with Bob? I’m so pleased for you.” Said Kitty and she was, she loved those two, two great people who deserved each other.

“It’s going so well, I can’t believe how we never argue, he’s so intelligent and he has me laughing about things nearly most of the day. He can cook too and ..”

“And what? He’s great in bed?” Kitty said, she loved embarrassing her friend.

”Kitty!” Said Liz, “actually…yeah, he is. You know he does this…”

“Ok, Ok, I don’t want to know all the details about what he can do with that lip ring of his,” said Kitty, laughing at her friend.

Liz laughed but she was disappointed that she wouldn’t be getting to meet up with Kitty; there was so much she wanted to tell her. She wanted to tell her that Eliza was having Gerard’s baby but she didn’t want to tell her over the phone, she wanted to tell her directly and this would have been the ideal opportunity.

“Listen shall I tell the others that you are coming? Jamia was asking about you the other day and said she’d love to meet up with you properly some time, you know have a girls night out and a catch up.”

“No, I think I’ll surprise them and its time I faced Gerard.” Said Kitty.

“Yes you are being silly Kitty, for god sake you lived in each other’s pockets for years, I don’t get why you two just don’t talk, its all you two ever used to do, it was hard for anyone else to get a word in sometimes.”

“Yeah, I know, you’re right. How is he?” Said Kitty.

”He seems fine but I’ve hardly spoken to him, I think he’s avoiding me for some reason.”

“May be he just feels awkward.” Said Kitty, confused as to why Gerard wasn’t talking to Liz; they always got on so well.

“Yeah…may be that’s it,” said Liz. Or may be he’s just embarrassed because he’s got Eliza pregnant and he’s a little ashamed of the whole situation.

“I may be coming back in a couple of weeks to see Mom and Dad,” said Liz. “We’ll get together then, OK?”

“Yes, definitely but I shall probably call you up again tomorrow,” said Kitty.

“Yeah, bye Kitty.” Said Liz and then she was gone and once again Kitty felt overwhelmed because they’d been talking about Gerard again. His name always came up, was she ever going to be free of him? Probably never, not now she was having his child.

**

“So you know where everything is?” said Kitty. She was all packed up and ready to go, she was only going for a couple of nights in LA, she felt she needed a break and she felt confident to leave Jerry here at the gallery.

“Of course I do, now all you need to do is to enjoy yourself.” Said Jerry. “Is…are you going to meet up with Gerard while you are there?” he said.

”God Jerry, you’re so fucking nosy, you know that?” said Kitty but smiling because she’d grown fond of Jerry, he was a hard worker, he’d cheered her up loads of times, he was fun to have around.

”Sorry,” he said all apologetically, “but are you?”

Kitty laughed at him.

“Yes, hopefully I shall finally get to speak to him, I need time alone to tell him everything. I just hope he wants to speak to me and can take time out of his busy schedule.” Said Kitty zipping up her holdall and placing it over by the front door of the gallery.

“I’m sure he will,” said Jerry who hoped that Gerard Way would come to his senses, Kitty was great, he loved her like an older sister and he’d noticed her sadness sometimes, she deserved a little bit of happiness, he just hoped Gerard was the one to make her happy.

The gallery door opened and it was Mel standing there looking strange.

“Hey, you OK?” said Kitty going over to her.

“Not really,” said Mel entering the gallery. She looked pale. “I’ve left Ted.”

”What!” said Kitty. “But you and Ted have been together forever, what the hell…has he been playing around or something?” said Kitty who’d never liked her brother in law one bit.

“Yes. He’s always done it, its been going on for years now and I’ve…I’ve finally had enough.”

“Oh Mel,” said Kitty. “I’m sorry but…”

“Yeah, I know you hate Ted, now I see why. He’s an asshole.” She said then she noticed the bag by the door. “You going somewhere?” she asked.

”Yeah, I’m going to LA. Remember that picture I painted for Billie Armstrong?”

“Billie who you had hanging on your bedroom wall for years?” said Mel just reminding her little sister once more of her old feelings for Billie.

“Yes. Him,” said Kitty, rolling her eyes. “Well I got invited to their anniversary party over in LA, it was a last minute decision to go but…I’m going. There are a few people I know that are going and it would be good to catch up with them.” She said. “Come out back, I’ve got time for a quick coffee before I catch my flight.” She said ushering her sister into the back room.

“It’s the MCR boys isn’t it, the ones that will be there?” said Mel sitting at the kitchen table.

“Yes. It is.” Said Mel.

“So you’ll get to talk to Gerard then,” said Mel.

“Possibly.” Said Kitty joining her sister at the table.

“I hope you do, you know Kitty I feel awful about how I was over you and Gerard,” she said looking down into her coffee.

“I know Mel, you mentioned this before, its OK, its in the past.”

“No. I….sometimes wish you’d got back together, may be its my fault, he tried calling you when you were in the rehab place and I told him….”

“Told him what?” said Kitty, this was news, Mel had never said he’d tried to contact her.

“I told him to stay away from you, that he was bad news and that if when you were well and you still wanted to be with him you’d give him a call.” Said Mel.

“But you told me his parents spoke to you and told you that it was best if we…if we stayed apart for a while that he needed to get clean and sober and wouldn’t do it if I was around, I remember that conversation, I’ve recalled it in my mind over and over,” said Kitty.

“I know. I lied. I thought it was the best thing for you for you to be away from him and the drink and drugs, the bad influences and that lifestyle.”

“You bitch,” said Kitty, quietly.

“I know and its something I’ve always regretted. I realise now that you and he were great together, when I look at Ted and I and the shambles of a marriage we had and then I look back at what Gerard and you had, well, nothing compares to it. You were everything to each other weren’t you?”

Kitty just nodded, she didn’t know what to say.

“What I’m saying is, Kitty, try and talk to Gerard, I’d give anything to turn back the clock and get you back together. You need to be with him.” She said.

“Well he doesn’t think that. I thought it was going to happen when he came to New York but…he found out about Dan and he didn’t want to wait for me. He’s busy at the moment; he didn’t need my problems too. Its over but…there is one thing I need to tell him and it will mean that he’s going to be in my life for sometime to come because I’m…having his baby Mel and I’m going to tell him in LA. I don’t know how he’s going to react but he needs to know, I can’t keep it from him. How much he wants to be involved is up to him.”

“Would you like to get back with him?” said Mel.

“I’d love to but things have gone too far, I can’t really see it happening. It would have happened already if it was meant to be. Anyway, enough talk of Gerard, would you like to stay upstairs in my apartment while I’m away for a couple of nights, just to get sorted?”

“Really? After what I’ve just told you?”

“Oh Mel, if Gerard and I are meant together we would have been. We were strong enough and old enough to get back if we wanted. Obviously it wasn’t wanted enough,” said Kitty. By her it was, she’d always wanted it but Gerard, obviously not.

**

She was in the kitchen of the house. He didn’t want to speak to her but he knew he had to. This was becoming quite unbearable.

“So,” he said as he came into the kitchen. “What did the doc say?”

Eliza turned; he’d never seen her look so bad. He’d noticed she hardly put much effort into her appearance just lately, she looked awful.

“He says everything is fine and the baby is fine. I haven’t got to go back for a few more weeks.” She lied and looking at the guy who she adored but the sickening thing was she knew he’d never adore her back; it was becoming more and more apparent as the days passed. He’d only ever adored one woman and he probably only ever would.

“I would have come with you you know,” said Gerard. He was a little pissed off, he knew she was going to the doctors and he’d said he’d go, be part of it, like they’d planned but then she’d gone and changed the appointment for some goddam reason that only she knew and had got up early this morning to go alone.

“I know, its OK, I can do things on my own you know, I’m not helpless.”

“I know you’re not Eliza but I thought we were in this together,” said Gerard.

“Yeah, sorry, I just didn’t want to bother you, I know you’re tired from everything and when the appointment got changed for early this morning I thought may be you could do without being disturbed, I couldn’t face waking you knowing how tired you’ve been but…next time, come next time.”

“Yeah, I will. Do you want to find out what you’re having?” said Gerard. He’d slightly been coming round to the idea and had begun thinking about whether he was going to have a little boy or a little girl, well they were his thoughts on a good day. On a bad day he couldn’t bear thinking about it at all.

“No,” said Eliza. “I think I’ll wait.” She said knowing she’d wait forever because there was no baby and she wished she’d never started this whole fiasco.

It was all going to turn bad, she could just feel it but tomorrow at the party she’d really put on an act because she was going as Gerard’s guest. She wanted to show the world that they would make a good couple.

She wanted to be accepted by everyone but most of all she wanted Gerard to forget Kitty and to concentrate on her for once.