I See You Lying Next To Me

Earlier that day, on the way to the hospital in a taxi Kitty looked out onto the dull grey New York sky, fighting the tears burning at the back of her eyes.

This was the only way out she thought. The taxi sailed through the streets, quickly taking her to Doctor Lorenzo and getting there faster than she really wanted to. She was hoping the traffic would slow down as if to slow down the thoughts that were charging around in her head but it didn’t and she just wanted to forget everything that had happened, get it over and done with and move on.

That’s when the call came from Liz.

“Kitty, thank god I got hold of you the first time. Where are you?” she said sounding urgent.

“I’m in a taxi in the City, why? Where are you?”

“I’m just heading through the City too, Bob and I landed just over an hour ago and he’s been on the phone to Ray ever since. What’s been going for goodness sake? We’ve only been away for a couple of days and this.”

“What? What are you talking about?” Said Kitty.

“This Eliza business and the letter,” she said.

“I don’t know what you mean. What Eliza business and what letter?” said Kitty.

The phone began to crackle and Kitty could just about hear Liz’s voice.

“The letter…the letter you sent Gerard. He didn’t get all of it.” Said Liz.

“What?” said Kitty. Her heart missed a beat as she tried to make sense of Liz’s words. “I don’t understand you Liz, the line is breaking up. Where are you?”

“I’m by the hospital, where are you?”

“Heading towards the hospital. Don’t ask, it’s a long story.”

“Let me meet you there Kitty, Bob and I need to talk to you.”

“OK. I should be there in five minutes,” said Kitty.

The Eliza business.

The letter.

He didn’t get all of it.

Kitty had a huge headache coming. What the fuck was this going to be about? Then Kitty’s stomach sank almost realising what must have happened.

Gerard hadn’t got all of her letter so what had he read? Probably the part where she said she was engaged and was staying with Dan and not the part where she said she didn’t love Dan.

Not the part where it says I love Gerard and want to be with him.

He thinks I don’t love him.

Oh Gerard.

Her phone rang again. What the hell did Liz want this time? But Liz’s name didn’t flash up, just a number and Kitty didn’t recognise it.

They were approaching the hospital. Who was it?

”Hello,” said Kitty into the phone.

“Is that Kitty?” said a woman’s voice.

“Yes, it is, who is this?” said Kitty.

“Its Eliza. There is something I need to tell you.” She said.

**

Liz was standing at the hospital doors with Bob. His arm wrapped around Liz’s shoulders, pulling her close. They didn’t look all that happy about something. Kitty’s head was swimming with the news that Liz had just told her.

The taxi pulled up alongside Liz and Bob and Kitty paid the driver and got out. Liz immediately came and hugged her.

“Liz, what did you mean Gerard didn’t get all the letter?” said Kitty.

“Eliza took the second page, the page that explained that you still wanted Gerard. She took it so she could get with Gerard and all this time Gerard thought you were with someone else, engaged and happy,” she said.

Kitty turned to Bob for reassurance. “Its true Kitty,” said Bob. “She stole it and Gerard thought you didn’t love him anymore, its what he told us.”

“Poor Gerard,” said Kitty. She felt dreadful thinking that Gerard was hurting like that, hurting thinking that she didn’t want him all along.

“I need to speak to him.”

“Ray says he doesn’t know where he is. He left a note with Mikey’s name on at the hotel saying that he needed to be by himself for a while. He’s not answering his phone. I’m sorry Kitty. Anyway, why are you here?” said Liz.

“It’s a long story. Listen, I need to go in, I have an appointment.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” said Liz. She looked at her friends face and saw the devastation on it. Why on earth was she at the hospital? What had she gone through in LA? There were so many thinks she wanted to ask her but it looked as though Kitty didn’t have the energy to answer her.

“No, its something I need to do myself,” said Kitty. “I’ll talk to you later Liz. Bye Bob,” she said then she was gone.

**

He saw her getting out of a taxi. He was upstairs in her living room that overlooked Central Park. He’d talked with Mel, had told her everything, had told her about Eliza and the letter and that Eliza was having his baby. She’d looked disappointed in him but she also told him that he really needed to finally talk to Kitty, she was the one he should be talking to. Mel thought it would be a good idea if she left him here she said then you can talk in peace and quiet without anyone around.

So he’d waited.

He’d waited for two hours, he’d paced up and down, had made himself a cup of coffee, had smoke three cigarettes, had checked over all her paintings in the gallery, especially the oriental one then had finally come upstairs to watch out the window.

That’s when he saw her getting out of the taxi and she’d looked awful.

Even worse than that day that she’d been driven away.

She didn’t know he was here but then again he didn’t want to frighten her, he just stood still, listening to her as she opened the gallery door then he could hear her footsteps as she came up the stairs.

She was in the room, he could sense it, he could smell her scent.

“Gerard,” she said in a quiet voice and he turned.

**

She’d stood looking at him for an instant, the way he stood so familiar to her.

She’d always love him, always. She needed him.

“Gerard,” she said then he turned.

He grinned.

Of course he did, he always did when he saw her and like way back then when they were young it turned her stomach to mush and sent goosebumps to the back of her neck.

His smile always did that.

“Kitten, I…I had to come,” he said. “There are things that you need to know.”

“I know.” Said Kitty, “but first, can I…can you…just…come here,” she said. Then she burst into tears and he went to her.

He smelt as he always had, the mixture of his leather jacket and nicotine, new washing and sweet soapy skin washing over her as he held her close.

This was where she belonged, wrapped in his arms.

They held each other for some time until she finally pulled away.

They still needed to talk.

“I had a call earlier, from Eliza,” she said going towards the window. She couldn’t look at him. “She apologised to me. She apologised to me for taking the letter.” She said running her finger over the pattern of the curtain.

“So she should, I’m surprised she called you though. The bitch took half your letter Kitty and I never knew that you…still loved me. I’m sorry, I should have called you up.” He said going to stand next to her.

“I’m just as much to blame. I should have called you in the first place. What has become of us?” she said looking up at him with her huge blue eyes.

“There’s something else you need to know, I hate to say this but…Eliza is pregnant and its mine.” Said Gerard looking ashamed.

“No. She isn’t,” said Kitty.

“She is, she’s done tests and been to the doctors, she’s having my baby Kitty, it was a total accident, I don’t know what came over me and now, now I’ve got to pay for…”

“Gerard, she’s not pregnant.” Said Kitty staring at him, a smile beginning to erupt on her face enjoying giving him this news.

“What?” Said Gerard. “She told you that?”

”Yes, she told me that. She lied to you and everyone. She’s ashamed and she’s gone somewhere far away. She said she wanted what we had, happiness and love, just to be a couple really. I told her that one day she would find it; find it on her own without interfering in other people’s lives. I told her someone would love her one day and wished her well.”

“You’re kidding?” Said Gerard. “She’s not having my baby, I’m so happy Kitty,” he said.

“I thought you would be. Oh Gerard, why couldn’t we just talk to one another, just like we always did, we could talk about anything back then.”

“Yeah, I know we could. I’m sorry I have to call up everyone and tell them,” said Gerard.

”Its OK, I’ve already spoken to Liz and Bob and they are going to do it. Tonight Gerard Way, tonight its just going to be us, is that OK with you?”

“Too right,” said Gerard, and then she kissed him, put her hands up behind his neck in her usual manner, wrapping her fingers around his hair and their lips met, lips that had met a thousand times before, wanting and needing.

**

It was midnight but they were still awake, lying naked on the red rug in Kitty’s room, the fire blazing and the flickering light playing patterns on their bodies.

“Gerard?” Said Kitty lying across him, her hair splayed out across his abdomen.

“Hmmmhmmm,” he said, his hand tangled into her hair.

“How did you feel when you found out you were going to be a father?” she said turning to watch his face.

“I wanted a baby but not with her.” He said.

“I think I can arrange that,” she said.

“Shall we start practising or something?” Said Gerard.

“Its too late for that, the deed is done,” said Kitty smiling at him watching his reaction.

“You mean you’re pregnant?” Said Gerard, the broadest grin she’d ever seen adorning his face.

Kitty just nodded.

“When?” He said.

“In ooh, about seven months,” said Kitty. “But I went to the hospital today, believing that I couldn’t have our baby but I was wrong, as soon as I saw the Doctor I knew I couldn’t go through with it. I talked to him and he agreed. I decided I wanted our baby whether you wanted me or not.”

“I love you Kitten,” he said and he looked so happy, the happiest she’d seen him.

“You know something? I love you too.”

They kissed slowly then Gerard spoke.

“I need you to tell me about what happened after you were driven off, all the details, all there is to know about Dan.”

“Of course I’ll tell you but you need to be honest with me and tell me everything that you went through too.”

And they did.

They talked for the rest of the night, as if they’d never been apart.

Two Years Later

Turning he saw her coming towards him dressed in his grandmother’s antique lace wedding dress. It was as though it was made for her and she looked gorgeous.

This was the moment he’d been waiting for. All their family and friends were here, the band, their partners, family, all the guys from Green Day and their families. The place was packed to the rafters to watch him marry his Kitty.

**

It was happening, it had been her dream to marry Gerard and at one point in her life, she thought it just wasn’t going to happen.

Walking towards him she couldn’t help but smile at him grinning away there, his sparkly hazel eyes shining at her mirroring her love for him and his hair once more back to black, how she’d always liked it hanging long and over his shirt collar.

She’d never felt happier apart from that day, a year and a half ago when she’d given him a little girl, a little girl that was the image of him and his grandmother, jet black hair and hazel eyes, the family resemblance uncanny.

She was beautiful and she was her father’s princess, they were inseparable those two and often ganged up on her but she didn’t mind, she loved it really.

She felt a little hand in hers and looked down at her pretty daughter so like her father in many ways.

“There’s Dadda,” the little girl said excitedly and ran off in the direction of her hero.

She watched him scoop the little girl up, her chubby fingers grabbing around his neck, their dark hair, the same mingling into each other’s, whispering together and laughing.

She loved them so much and she couldn’t wait to marry this man and tell him her other surprise that she was having another baby.

She loved being a family, a real family that she had never known before and had only ever wanted with him.

**

They’d taken things slowly after that first night, slowly but surely they were back together and couldn’t wait to let everyone know their news and everyone was happy for them.

Kitty had some decisions to make but having Mel and Jerry made everything easier. She would tour with Gerard as often as she could and leave Mel and Jerry in charge of the gallery.

She painted so much on tour, sitting there on the floor of the bus taking up most of the room but nobody minded, they were just glad Kitty was with them and that she and Gerard were a couple again.

Alicia and Mikey had got married and Frank and Jamia were finally getting round to it sometime soon. Liz and Bob had a son who was born just after their little princess but for some reason they didn’t want to get married, they were happy as they were. Ray had finally found someone special too and had finally put his small Kitty crush to bed.

Everyone was happy and they were about to go into the studios to record another album but were scared about the reaction and following up the success of the Black Parade but they had so many fans out there, they knew they’d get support whatever.

Gerard had finally found out what Kitty’s tattoo was for. She’d got it just after they’d split; it was an oriental symbol that meant ‘One Love’ in honour of one of their favourite songs that they used to sing together.

He’d even got one to match but it had killed him, had brought him out in a hot sweat while he was having it done but had said it was all worth it, for Kitty.

**

So they got married, smiling at each other holding hands and Gerard carrying their daughter and everyone in the congregation cheered although some cried, especially Mel.

It was a fabulous day and that night as the two of them lay in bed at Kitty’s apartment, Kitty spoke.

“You know, Liz is still going on about that oriental picture, she knows that there is something to it but I’m reluctant to tell her.” She said.

“Why?” Said Gerard, his fingers moving around on her back, causing her to become aroused once more.

“Its, its our picture, the one that we painted together, you know.” She said as she turned her face to his and nipped kisses along his lightly stubbled jaw line.

“As if I could forget,” said Gerard. “That night when we’d drawn each other naked in the picture, we were naked when we painted it,” he said smiling at her as she was kissing under his chin down towards his Adams apple.

“And then we made love and afterwards you painted my body with all sorts of colours,” said Kitty, her breathing getting heavier as Gerard touched her face with his long fingers and flipped her over onto her back, pressing against her, wanting her, again.

“But then you got embarrassed,” he said kissing a trail down towards her tummy button, flicking his tongue on her soft skin. He stopped and looked up at her. “So we had to paint a picture over the top of it, after you’d showered of course,” he said, his fingers finding her breasts causing her to moan gently.

“After we showered you mean,” she said in a husky voice full of desire for this man who she adored and was now her husband. “Come here and kiss me,” she said pulling him towards her, their lips meeting passionately, their tongues tangled together as his leg pushed hers aside then he was there, inside, causing the most wondrous sensations to wash over her from the tips of her toes to the top of her head. Then Gerard said, “Kitty, I love you,” just like he always did as they just clung onto each other, happy and content.

“I have something to show you,” she said later on reaching to the bedside cabinet. “Remember this?” she said.

“Gran’s locket, how could I forget it?” Gerard said taking the piece of silver jewellery from her.

“I’ve put a picture inside, finally.” She said. “Take a look.”

Gerard opened the locket and saw what was inside; he smiled widely at the picture of his little daughter on the right.

“That’s great, but there’s still a space to fill,” he said. “Can I put you inside?” He said.

”No, I have an even better idea, in about six months time there’s going to be an addition to our family and I thought, perhaps, may be whoever joins our family could.may be go in there,” said Kitty her eyes bright as she watched her man.

His hazel eyes sparkled in the dusky light as he took Kitty in his arms and didn’t say anything.

“Hey,” she said looking at him, his eyelashes damp. “I love you Gerard Way, did I ever tell you that?”

“Not half as much as I love you,” he said tracing a finger along her cheek. “I love you Kitten, I always have.”

And the two of them snuggled down together, wrapped up in each other’s arms.

They didn’t want to be anywhere else.

Just here.

Together.

At last.