Sleepwalking Past Hope

I haven’t eaten in days. The ache in my throat was becoming unbearable, the burning of my insides was excruciating. But I was surviving. Weak as I was I needed to keep on for as long as I could without leaving home. I needed to be near, for Emma. The bond between us was becoming stronger; I could almost taste it...

Oh god, not now.

As I approached the door I panicked. I couldn’t take it anymore; now, I was starving to the point of death. Seeing as I couldn’t leave the city, Linde and Mige had been bringing me back fresh blood from their trips into the other cities, but it hadn’t been enough. With that in consideration, being around Emma could be risky. But at this rate I’m willing to take a chance. Who knows, the sooner it happens, the better off we all might be.

But now I’m not thinking straight.

I rushed to ring the doorbell before I could complete my thoughts. I didn’t want to know where my mind would lead me.

Lifting my head, I saw her face in the window, peaking out at me. She opened the door and greeted me. The sweet smell of her nape was palpable from feet away, the sound of her voice lulling me to heed to her every will.

I was on auto pilot now. Saying things that meant nothing, walking like the living dead…the irony was excruciating. Trying to convince yourself that you’re doing the right thing isn’t always that easy. I thought that if I played it safe and participated in playful banter, I could make it through this visit, just barely. But then she asked me what I wish she never had.

“Do you need blood, because- -”, I cut her off immediately. I wouldn’t allow another word to escape her lips. This was the one thing I never wished to happen; the one thing that would bring an end to me.

She was bound to catch on. The problem was, what would I say?

An offering of blood from the person whose life means the most to me was shocking.

“Emma I will never ask you for that.” I spoke in a stern voice, hoping to grasp her attention. Now was the time to admit all weakness.

“I don’t know if I could keep from killing you. You have no idea how enticing you are. You’re fate’s temptation.” I said.

what a stupid thing to say…

I stood there for a second. She was looking into my eyes, the red tint of a blush flowing into her cheeks. The color set me off like a bull in the ring, ready to mal the matador. I was trying will all my strength. But there was so little left, my patience and will power worn to a thin stream of thread. I couldn’t breath, for fear I would smell it; the sweet life running through her veins.

Auto pilot took over once again, only now it was seeking destruction. The blood was calling me. And even so, she had offered me…

The tiniest shred of me felt this was wrong now. Severe hunger let the animal in me take over. I would have my prey. Even if it was Emma, I couldn’t stand it another second.
Raw heat radiated from my body, my eyes burning with hunger. Her soft supple skin was mine for the taking. I had changed my mind for good.

I approached her slowly. I tried to be gentle, though it was hard not to rip her apart. My hand traveled to her neck, the part I had wanted most since I met her. Cupping it softly, I brought her closer to me, her scent overwhelming the air now.

“Only you can fix me.”

In one swift movement and I was attached now; stealing the life from her.
How sweet it was and how blinded my heart became.

What felt like a few seconds was really a lifetime. Moments later it seemed, she lye in my arms covered in her blood, suffocating on it.

…Choking on her own life.

I remembered her head peaking out at me from just minutes ago. I hope this isn’t the last I’ll see of her. I’m about to ask the impossible. The audacity of the thought makes it feel less severe.

“God help me.”