Sleepwalking Past Hope

She didn’t like Baudelaire- it was too boring…

… Love of my life.

I decided to walk home after I had left Emma to herself. I needed time to think about that I had just done. I wanted to see her again. I had just implied that I was her friend, and now I have the woman’s phone number. The younger me would say, “You work quick Valo”, impressed with my efficient charm. Now, all I can do is feel the warm swelling of my heart, pounding violent and true against my ribcage.

Words would only taint this moment.

Basking in the glory of her lingering light, I strode up to my home to find low lights, flickering in the windows. Voices could be heard from the front porch as I opened the door. What I found inside was nothing short of shocking. At first glance all my eyes met was flesh…women’s flesh to be precise. Covering my eyes as fast as I could, I froze in place, afraid to move.

“Vedrana?” I asked, panic clear in my voice.

“And Mige!”

…that was certainly not the voice I had expected. And if Vedrana was naked, that also meant that he was…

“Oh god!” I was too disoriented to decipher their jumbled laughter. Quickly I fled to the kitchen, seeing it was the closest escape route I could find. When I thought it was safe I turned and yelled through the swinging door,
“Whatever’s going on out there, you’re cleaning it up Mige!”

All I got in response was girlish laughter, ringing with pleasure from both of them. Oh how it disgusted me to even think they would defile my couch with their…unity. How could something that intimate be allowed exposure like that? Then again, it is Mige.

But oh how I envied them.

The way they could be so close, with nothing holding them back. There was a familial sense of comfort there. Man to woman, heart to heart, soul to soul; a bond greater than any- love. Something I wish I had.

“You’re well on your way there.” a strong voice stated, a matter-of- fact tone to it.

Turning to the sliding door opposite me, I saw Linde creeping in from the garden. His stature tall and proud, his long fingers stuffed in his pockets, hidden from view. A smirk lined his features, so slight you’d think nothing of it. He knew what I had been thinking, naturally. God damn him and his prying psyche…
Leaning up against the high countertops, my elbows supporting me, I prepared to confide in him; tell him what was on my mind, rather than him just pulling the thoughts from my head.

“Hardly…But I think I have a plan. You know, to get her to trust me…I suppose that’s what I want- for her to trust me.”

“Well, I think you’ll have an easy enough time with trust. I mean you are the only person she’s really had contact with since she’s been here…other than Petrey.”

Petrey. I’d almost forgot about him. Long ago I’d found out that Petrey had been her mentor of sorts. He was a friend and an old professor of mine when I had gone to school in Sweden for a time- studying literature under his watchful eyes. A meticulous fellow he is, to say the least, but shrewd and cunning too. I had always kept in contact with him, for fear I might need his knowledge somewhere along the road. He was the only human to really understand me. Understand what my thought process was, and accept it for what it is. Didn’t view me as strange or depressive; just the undead, lonely, knowledge hungry individual I am. Oh yes, did I mention he was a vampire as well?

“I’m inviting her to the annual Yö Pallo. Do you think she’ll attend with me?”

“ If she trusts you she will...”, he said pushing himself off the counter. He strode toward me, hands still in his pockets, his smile growing larger by the second.

“…sounds good darling, sounds good.”

…how dare he mock me…dumb blonde.