Sleepwalking Past Hope

Gah, you’re stupid Emma. I cursed at myself. I’m such an idiot. Why on Earth would I have given him my number? I don’t even know him. I sighed and sat down in the plush chair. Every breath I took would be in vain if I were trying to fight myself. I just met him, literally, and I can’t stop thinking about it.

The way he moves versus the way I stumble. My lack of words versus his inability to produce the wrong ones. My childish actions would never be enough. I suppose I’m stupid for ever assuming we would be more than acquaintances, friends, every other synonym of the word would apply to the situation.

But like a lovesick teenager my mind raced over everything. I thought and re-thought the way his hair laid on his shoulders, the way he smiled, and the words he spoke. I wasn’t concerned with anything else but him. A man I met at a diner. He probably wouldn’t even call me.

I’d never felt this way about anyone. Which was undoubtedly a result of my loneliness. I could have felt like this over the garbage man. I grimaced at the thought. You’re just telling yourself that.

I sighed in defeat. That’s it. I had developed a crush on a complete stranger.

-----

I threw my backpack down next to the door, threw my keys into the bowl and pushed the door closed. I made sure all the locks were locked and the deadbolts were bolted. I had a fear of being robbed. I’m a pacifist. I’d never even been in a fight before. Not to say that there’s much need for violence in private school. All problems can be resolved with a ‘generous donation’.

I glanced at the phone, which sat on the table by the door. There was hardly ever a new message, which is why it never earned more than a glance. But sure enough today there was a message. A bright red blinking number one. My heart erupted into butterflies and I wanted to faint from excitement.

I pressed the play button that caused an unfamiliar male voice to fill the room alerting me that the call had been placed on Monday, January 16th at 4:30 P.M.. Then the familiar voice that had plagued my thoughts for the past two days filled the room. I was grateful I wouldn’t be living off of memories for the few moments that his voice was there, broadcasted through the still air of my house.

“Hey, Emma, it’s Ville. Uh, I wanted to speak with you about a date. My number is: 555- 9854. Talk to you then! Bye.” He spoke then the message cut off.

A date! I squealed and grabbed the phone, dialing his number excitedly before I even thought twice. It rung a few times before a different male voice answered.

“Hello?” He asked calmly.

I smiled, “Can I talk to Ville?”

“Uh, sure, let me find him.” He said, I could hear the smile in his voice.

I could hear rustling and the man yelling in the background. Then Ville’s voice appeared and I couldn’t help but smile.

“Hello?” Ville asked.

“Hi.” I said, a little too excited.

“You got my message, I’m guessing.”

“I did.” I smiled.

“So, would you like to go on a date with me?” I could picture the cute smile he wore on his face. It was the perfect accessory.

“It depends…” I said, trying my best to be cunning when all my heart wanted to do was agree to anything he wanted. It wouldn’t matter if he asked me to quit school and join a band of gypsies, I would have.

“On what?”

“What we’re doing. You should know, I don’t deal well with waking up early.”

He laughed, “Well, I’ve been invited to a ball. The yö pallo, I didn’t have a date so I thought you may go with me.”

My heart accompanied my feet in the bottom of my shoes. A socialite event? What the hell is this man?

“What? A dance?”

“Come on, think about it. You can make friends and I can enjoy the company of a beautiful woman.”

My cheeks turned blood red, “I don’t know…”

“Please?”

I didn’t want to, once again my anti-social side threatened to ruin life for me. But as I mentioned earlier, I found it impossibly hard to deny him.

“Okay, yeah, I’ll go.”

“Great!”

He heaved a sigh of relief, “I don’t like going to those things alone and it’s even worse if I don’t show up at all. You’ve saved me, Emma.”

“Yeah, I’m a regular old Superman.” I joked.

“You are.” Once again I heard the smile in his voice.

We sat in silence for a second.

“What are you wearing, I need to get a dress and I don‘t want to clash.”

“I’m wearing a black suit and a black tie, so wear whatever color you like.”

I smiled, “Okay, when will I see you?”

“Saturday at eight?” He said like it was a question. It wasn’t, he was afraid of me freaking out.

“Okay, see you then.”

“Yep, bye Emma.” He said, I could hear the smile in his voice. I hated saying goodbye.