Dreaming of Sunsets

I was lounging around with Jimmy as he watched t.v. I could hear the familiar sounds of the show Friends. Who would ever have thought he would be watching this?

"Babe!" I heard Brian's voice call.

"Living room!" I called back.

They had moved me back here about two months ago. They figured it would be easier for me after the surgery and crap. I think they just wanted me back so I would cook. Such men.

So, Cal has the apartment to himself now. Bri is always over here every day or spends the night a few days out of the week. Zack and I told him to just move in, and now he's considering it.

"I have a surprise for you," he said, kissing my temple.

"You do, do you?" I asked skeptically.

"Yes! Now, move your arms." I did as I was told and held them at my sides as I felt him move my feet to the coffee table.

"What're you doing?" I asked, laughing lightly.

"You'll see." He shuffled around a bit more, before he sat down next to me. "Ready?"

"Yes." I was a little nervous...

"Babe, say hi to Pinkly." I was confused, until I felt something... Furry? Placed on my lap. All of a sudden, it moved!

"Bri..."

"Here." Seconds later, there was a bit of whimpering then a felt something wet on my face.

I gasped. "You got a puppy?!" I heard the guys all chuckle.

"Well, I thought she would be able to help you through the surgery," he said, stroking my hair.

"When we passed by her in the window, he stopped and said he had to have her," Zacky said, laughing.

"Thank you, Bri." I smiled, cuddling the puppy to my chest.

He attached my lips to his in a sweet kiss. "No problem, Babe."

We started up random conversation as Pinkly fell asleep in my arms. I could already tell she was adorable. I wasn't even expecting Brian to get a puppy!

"I can't wait until you have your sight back." I heard Zack sigh.

"That wasn't random," I said, laughing.

"What?! I'm sorry. I just really miss you being able to see," he said innocently.

I sighed. "Now you know how I feel." Brian pulled me into his arms as I lay my head on his chest.

"Well, you won't have to worry about that anymore," Jimmy said.

I nodded. "I'm going to go lay down," I said a few minutes later. There were things on my mind that I needed to clear up...

"Babe?" I was laying in bed as Brian came in. "What's wrong?" He asked, laying next to me and rubbing my back.

"Nothing, just thinking."

"You seem to be doing that a lot lately."

He was right. Lately, I've been zoning out a lot. Or I just go off somewhere quiet and sit down to think. There was so much that was still running through my mind that hadn't been solved yet.

"Bri... Can I ask you something without you getting mad at me?"

"Of course, Baby. What is it?"

I took a deep breath. "Why do you want to be with me?"

I felt him pull away a little bit. "What do you mean?"

"Why are you still with me? Why do you still want to be with me when I have all of these problems? I'm like a magnet for trouble." I sighed agitatedly as I sat up.

"Hey, what got you thinking this?"

"Oh, don't play, Brian! You know what I'm talking about. My eyes for one. Then the whole thing with Trey and Brent. I just... I'm not even close to being good enough for you, Bri."

"Really, Sen? You're going to get into this?" I heard a hint of anger in his voice, and I shrunk back a little. "Why would you ever think that about yourself? Huh?"

I closed my eyes, trying to keep the tears in. "Because," I whispered, not wanting to go down that road.

"No, you brought this up, I want an explanation. Why are you thinking you aren't good enough?"

"Because I'm not, Bri! I have so many flaws that it's not even funny!"

"So? And I don't? Sen, I should be the one asking you why you're with me."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, feeling a bit hurt.

"You heard me. Why are you with me? What suddenly changed your mind about me?"

"You're in that same boat, Brian."

"Oh, but you're forgetting how you're the one that dumped my ass just because I was going on tour!"

"I was scared, Brian! I thought it was logical, but I was wrong."

How the hell did this turn into a fight?

"You know what... Maybe we are taking things a little too fast," he sighed.

I felt my heart drop. "What?"

He sighed. "I don't know, Sen. I guess it seems that we need to think over some things."

"Bri, I didn't mean it to turn out like this. I was being stupid... I don't even know."

I felt the bed shift as he stood up. "I'll talk to you later," he mumbled, before walking out and closing the door behind him.

I felt as if my world just came crashing down yet again. Why did I have to open my stupid mouth?! God, I'm pathetic.

I heard a little bark and some whimpering. A few seconds later, the door was opened and I heard Pinkly running over to the bed. She jumped up and cuddled up next to me. "Hey, girl," I said softly, pulling her into me.

"What happened?" Matt asked softly.

A tear slipped out of my eye as I buried my face into Pinkly's fur. "I just fucked up big time."