My Thoughts About You

"Hey Paul. Wait up!" Bella pulled my hand

I didn't say a thing

"What's wrong?" she asks

"Nothing" yea, nothing is how i feel right now. The one that i really love just kissed someone. Not to mention in front of my face. How can exactly i feel nothing?

"......You're lying. You must be sick or something?" she pull me away. Psh i bet she knew about my true feelings. She can always read my mind since like when I'm 15.

"I'm good. You better go, that boy's not finished kissing ya" i said pushing her away.

"Hey, i dun care about him, i care about you, you're my best friend. now Paul, you should rest now" she points to a room.
oh great best friend.

"I dun need you to care about me! look! I'm fucking alright, Annabelle" i get emotional.

she looks surprised

"fine!i can't believe i even go to this stupid spin the bottle thingy for your fans!and besides, i was just being nice!!" she yelled and walks out

martin just look at me, raising an eyebrow. fans were so quiet.

"I'm done" i left the room and go to the porch. i locked myself out.

"shit, i am so stupid" i hit my own face

i looked at the moon. back then, when i was in high school, me and Bella used to go outside and just stare at the moon. it's nice. it feels nice. a tear drops from my eye. i can't believe i even cried!

i picked up some beers on the porch table, walk to my bed and drink all of it. getting drunk is some kind of a runaway for me.

***

Bella's Point Of View

it's morning already. geez. why did i get so sad yesterday? that's kinda harsh of him..but maybe i was kinda harsh myself. he said...he doesn't need me to care for him. okay. i wouldn't. he can take care of his fucking self then.

you see, me and Paul were...really dependent on each other. back then, when we're still in junior high, we were neighbors. we weren't close at first. but after we know that my dad cheated on my mom, with Paul's mom, we get closer. we don't give a shit what'll happen to our mom and dad. they fight, they shout and swears. we hate those times. so we ran away. it was a stupid ran away, we ended up in his uncle's house. we were so close then, almost like brothers and sisters then i...fell in love with him.i dun even know when, but i never felt a love like this before. i hate my feeling though, I'm afraid my feelings would tear our friendship. i would never want that to happen. he's a huge part of me. so I'll just lie to myself that i have no such feelings to him.

anyway, I'm heading to the band's apartment. i left my school work yesterday. I'll better stay the hell away from Paul right now

***

"Eh ? Belle." Bryan greeted me. Only Paul calls me Bella.
"Huh?Oh come in, come in" i see martin lays on the couch. i walks in

"Uh guys, I'd be here just for a while, so have you seen my bag? the orange one?" i ask them

"i guess...I've seen it somewhere.." john said, eating some hot dog. i look around, i find nothing. it's too messy here.

"i saw Paul carry an orange bag to his room yesterday" martin say

great.

"umm...could you guys pick it up for me? where's Paul anyway?" i ask

"Oh he's sleeping now, belle, wait, I'll pick it up for you"martin yawns and stands

"mm is it okay if i pick it up on my own?" i ask

at first they look at each other

"uh sure, why wouldn't it be okay?" Bryan said

i walk slowly to his room. i knock twice. no answer. First i just stand there for a while and decided to open it myself. good, it's unlocked. i peek inside and saw him sleeping. god, i haven't saw that angel face for a long time. i tip toed inside and close the door. i look around, i can't find my bag. i watch him sleep and decided to get a closer look. i knelled beside his bed, watching him breathing. it was nice. i was about to kiss him and i realized, it'll ruin everything.I'll just go search for my bag

***

Paul's Point Of View

i opened my eyes and saw Bella in my room. oh yeah, i picked her bag yesterday so she must be searching for it. god, she turn away looking at me. i quickly closes my eyes again. i can feel her getting closer. i hear the floor thumped a bit,maybe she sits on the floor. then i can feel her breath. why is she sitting so close?? she smells nice. her breath is getting closer and closer, ahh what's happening?? i can't help but to open my eyes and saw her blue eyes just a millimeter from mine. she's surprised and pull away. was she....trying to kiss me?

"what...are you doing?" i ask her

her cheeks turns red. she's blushing?

"no-nothing" she turns away.

i really love her. I'll confess. what ever it takes. my heart won't even stop beating. i feel butterflies in my stomach.

it was silent for a while and i brave myself to pull her waist and let her sit on my lap.

"what are you doing?" i ask again

"nothing, i said nothing!" she struggled, but i secured her with my arms

"nothing?so you didn't want to kiss me?" i ask

"wha-- no! i was--"

"just shut up and listen.I'm in love with you, With you, Bella" i said. geez i finally said it

silence.

"Look, i have no intentions of making our relationship to be broken, but i, honestly, am deeply in love. with you." wow i finally said it!

"don't you kidding me, Paul" she look at me, as i stare at her stunning eyes

"This, is the truth" i held her hand and place it on my chest. she should feel my crazy heart beat

her eyes widened. then she hugs me. ah cool. i ain't dreaming, am i?

"i....i thought you hate me, Paul.." she sounds like crying

"who said that?" i ask, caressing her head.

"i was so scared that you would hate me.." she sobbed. i look at her face and wipe her tear away.

"i can never hate you. sorry for the way i act yesterday. i was jealous of that guy." i said

she then kiss me softly on the lips.

WOW

"and have i mention that i love you too?so very much" she smiled

she looks like an angel sent from above. well she's my angel.

"so are you gonna be my girl?"i smiled

"With pleasure"she hugs me