You're All Two Sides, and Struggling

I turned over, almost falling out of the bed, and gripped John’s sheets blindly, trying to stay in it, and trying not to wake him up at the same time. He inhaled sharply and I froze, allowing myself to just hit the wooden floor already, causing a smaller scene than trying to stay on the bed.

I got up, a little out of it from the sudden way I’d woken up, and glanced around John’s room blankly. He turned over in his sleep, his back facing me, and I picked through the dirty laundry and crumpled up paper on the floor, finding the presents from yesterday we hadn’t even opened, and the small box that glared me down. I sighed, opening it again, and the small titanium band inside made my stomach ache dully, but I put it on anyways, twirling it loosely on my ring finger, John had probably sized it to his, not thinking twice about it.

I bit my lip, and tiptoed back towards the bed, trying my hardest not to move it too much as I climbed back in, snuggling into John’s back and the warmth radiating off of him. I was just closing my eyes when the bed started shifting and I felt John’s breath on my face. I opened my eyes drowsily at him, and he smiled in the same fashion.

“Morning.” He mumbled quietly, moving closer so our noses touched.

I suppressed a laugh, not sure if the rest of his family was up yet, but they probably were, Shane and Ross would want their presents. “Morning.”

He gripped for my hand, holding it in front of his face and his eyes went cross for a moment, making it hard to contain the laughter I was holding in. “Oh, you think that’s funny?” He rolled over on top of me. “You’re actually wearing it.” He smiled, before leaning down and attaching his lips to mine.

He had already pulled away twice, but the smile didn’t vanish from his face as he pressed his lips against mine a third time, drawing this one out, as his hand started down my torso. I grabbed his hand after it didn’t stop at my hips, playing with the waistband of my boxers. I let out a small, weak laugh, trying to move out from under him.

“Funny John, your family’s up.”

“Mmm, so?” He pulled his hands out of mine and gripped my hips, holding me in place. John dipped his head into the crook of my neck. “Can we just stay in bed today?” He whined, and started to kiss down along my neck at the same time a knock sounded out against his door. John let out a frustrated groan, and I broke away from him quickly, sitting up and swinging my legs over the end of his bed. He stayed where he was, rolling on his back and propping himself up on his elbows. “What?” He yelled, and the door creaked open.

“Get out of bed, jackass, mom won’t let us open gifts until you come down.” Shane yelled, giving John a look, before shutting the door again, his footsteps thundering back down the stairs.

“Come on baby.” I tugged at John’s hand, and he turned over, shoving his face in the pillow.

“Nope, not coming.”

“I’ll drag you down there.”

“I’d like to see you try.” He lifted his face up, smirking. I gripped both his hands, steadying myself with a foot against his bed frame and tugged as hard as I could, barely moving him at all.

“The fuck.” I tugged harder on his arms, moving him a little more this time, and he tried to scramble back into his original spot. “John, come on.” I tugged even harder, pulling him completely off the bed, and he rolled onto the floor under my feet. “Alright, now get up.”

He smirked, and I should have known what was coming, as he knocked my one leg out from under me, destroying my balance and causing me to fall right down on top of him. “I’m busy right now.” He ran a hand through my hair, eyes staring up into mine with his stupid crooked smile plastered on his face, and I couldn’t argue anymore, my mind went blank. “Now listen to me, when you wake up, you will think you’re a dog, you will act and bark like a dog.” John mumbled trance-like, and I rolled my eyes at him.

“You’re not that charming, Cornelius.”

“You can suck it, Charles.” He mocked my middle name back at me. “Oh wait, I believe you already did that.” He smirked.

“Actually, Cornelius, I believe you were the one who sucked it.” I laughed, tracing a finger over his chest.

“Mmm I must admit I do indeed believe it was you, Charles.”

“Nope, don’t think so.” I shook my head.

“Maybe you should refresh your own memory.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “You want me to-” I started, but John's lips cut me off, capturing mine roughly. I reacted just the way he knew I would, only moving closer to him and kissing back just as hungrily, placing my hands on the floor on either sides of his face.

He broke away from me, smirking again. “If that’s what it takes, I am just trying to help you, Charles.”

"Yeah, just trying to help me." I tried to get up off him, but John’s arms hooked around me, keeping me down against him. “Let go, John.” I was growing tired of the games, and tugged at his arms. “We’ve already stalled a good while.”

He sighed and let go finally, allowing me to stand up before I reached a hand down, tugging him up with me.

------

“Starbucks isn’t even near Pat’s.” John complained as he turned off the street. “I’d have to go totally out of the way.”

“You know I’m good for it.” I smirked, letting one hand travel up John’s thigh, and the car swerved a little before he cleared his throat.

“Okay, fine, we’ll go.” He gave in, trying to hide the smile that adorned his face.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He shook his head, letting out a small laugh.

“No, seriously, what?” I pulled my hood up, since it was raining out, and John turned down and into the Starbucks parking lot.

“Just thinking of old times.” He shook his head again, cutting the ignition. I met him around the other end of the car, and I hooked my fingers loosely through his, having to run to keep up with him since he hadn’t thought to bring a jacket and it was pouring.

-------

We got to Pat’s finally, John’s left hand entwined with my right, while I held my cup in the other, blowing on it every so often in an attempt to cool it down to enough of a temperature that I wouldn’t burn myself, but I didn’t walk smoothly and I’d already managed to spill a good bit of it on my hoodie.

We didn’t even have the door open yet, and I could already hear the yelling from inside. My eyes shot to John’s, but his were just as confused as mine were. I opened the door cautiously, backing up and slamming into John’s chest, having to hold my coffee out before I dumped it all on myself when the screaming continued, and only got louder.

“I just fucking got home Sarah, how the fuck are we supposed to work this out if you just leave?” Garrett yelled.

“I’m not just leaving Garrett! I told you, I have to go home for a little bit!” Sarah was practically screaming at him.

“It’s Christmas!”

“Exactly, it’s Christmas, I’m allowed to fucking go home, I just up and left three months ago for you!” She yelled back, slamming her bags on the floor. John and I had tiptoed in by now, but we stood out of the way, against a wall nearby while everyone stared on at the couple. Garrett stood awestruck, his face all red but contorted painfully, I had a feeling he was more upset than pissed off, Garrett just wasn’t good when it came to emotion.

“When’s your plane leave Sarah?” I spoke up when no one else would, and John gave me a look to stay out of it.

“Three hours.” She mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Well then let’s stop fighting and actually act like we’re all friends, hey?” The rest of the boys came out of hiding now, obviously just waiting for the couple to work it out. Pat gripped Garrett’s shoulder, giving him a sympathetic look, and Garrett smiled a little.

“Yeah, Merry Christmas.” He awkwardly announced, and I abandoned John behind me, following after Pat and the others towards the family room.

“Hey Lex!” Tim called out, and messed up my hair as I walked past.

“Hey Tim.” I shoved him jokingly, causing him to shove me back, but Pat’s mom called out at us before it could get any further.

-------

The contrast between when Sarah and Garrett were fighting, and now, were almost surreal. We sat around in a circle, everyone finally opening and exchanging gifts. Everyone had calmed down now; even Sarah and Garrett wore small smiles, cuddled up next to each other on the couch behind me. John sat across from me, the corners of his lips turning up every time I looked up and over at him.

I tugged on Pat’s rat boy shirt he’d shoved at me over the shirt I was already wearing and slumped back against the couch, Sarah was going to have to leave soon and I didn’t know how that was going to go down, or when the guys were leaving. I glanced up at her every so often, trying to remind her of the time that was running out, but she and Garrett were deep in conversation over something.

“Guys?” Garrett tried to gather our attention, and my head snapped up to them. He squeezed Sarah’s hand, smiling shyly. “I think I’m going to go with Sarah…to meet her family and all.”

Kennedy let out a laugh. “Yeah, because it’s not like we’re busy and have to leave in two days or anything.” Garrett swore under his breath and Sarah’s face contorted out of the smile she’d worn before.

“So you can’t come because you have band shit, glad to know I’m important.” She shook her head, getting off the couch.

“You know I’d come if I could, Sarah, there’s always another time.”

“Always another time, Garrett? Always another time, right.” She scoffed. “What if something major happens, going to tell me there’ll be another time because you’re too busy with the band?”

“It’s just this time, I swear next time-.”

“But it’s not going to be just this time!” The two were at it again, yelling and getting in each other’s faces. I looked over at the guys waiting for someone to stop them, and Jared did it this time.

“Alright, you two home wreckers, calm down. Sarah we’re going to have to get going.”

“Yeah, I know.” She looked down, obviously getting upset.

“I-I’ll take you two, if you want.” John spoke up, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye. “Just let me get my shoes on…so help me if you try to get on that plane or do something stupid Garrett.” He shook his head, getting up off the floor.

-------

The car ride was entirely silent, Sarah and Garrett sat on opposite sides in the back, and I chose not to interrupt the silence, trying to ignore all the tension in the air. I glanced over at John, before turning the radio up higher, and he caught my hand in his before it fell back into my lap, squeezing it. The silence started to nag at me, and I finally spoke up once we were closer to the airport.

“So how long are you leaving me for?” I turned in my seat to face Sarah, pouting.

“A week, maybe?” She mumbled, not even turning to look at me.

“What am I supposed to do for a week totally on my own?”

“I’m sure you can figure something out.” Garrett interjected.

John let go of my hand, pulling up to the front of the airport, and unbuckling his seat belt as he stopped and Garrett and Sarah unwillingly climbed out. John opened his door and I grabbed his wrist.

“What?” He looked back at me, confused.

“Let them be alone.” I chewed my lip, leaning and watching them walk towards the entrance.

“Alex, he could-.” I cut him off.

“Just trust him, alright?” John sighed, and re-shut his door, deciding instead to circle the parking lot anxiously.