Exhale

For a moment, it felt like old times. He was in the same room, less then 20 feet away; just like back when they first met. It left her feeling weird and unsettled. She loved parties; Holly went to them all the time with the guys. She drank and goofed around, having a great time with the cluster of friends she met through Garrett. It was almost tradition now, she was called the second a party developed and had to go. John would pick her up and be her “date”. It was his job to watch over her and make sure no one took advantage of her. He was responsible to watch how much she drank and make sure she stopped after so much. Holly was a crazy drunk, especially with Kennedy. And that’s even more why John watched over her. She could be foolish and childish, making decisions that she’d never make sober.

She felt his eyes on her, piercing into her back and watching every move. Garrett hadn’t been going to the parties over the last year and that’s why John stepped in. Back then, partying with Garrett was what made her do it. His attendance ensured hers. Even as she grew more and more comfortable with the guys, Holly stayed close to him. He left her feeling safe and comfortable, Holly knew he’d be there and he’d step in if she needed it. On multiple occasions, he was the one who took the cups from her hand and held back her hair when she drank too much. He took it as his job, even when she hated him for it, he’d do it. Garrett would hold her in the morning, when the pain of the hangover took over and turned her into a bitch. He knew all the ways to make her feel better and ease the pain in her head.

After a while, his attendance at the parties dwindled. He’d always use the same excuses, telling her he wasn’t feeling well or had plans with some old friend he hadn’t seen in forever. That’s when John took over the role. It hurt a little, she felt abandoned and forgotten. Garrett was the one who knew what to do and how to make her listen and when John took over, it changed a little. He wasn’t as sweet, he didn’t care as much when her head throbbed and her limbs ached. As great as John was, he wasn’t Garrett. He didn’t let her sleep in his bed until 4 the next afternoon and watch stupid chick flicks in the dark until the throbbing headache went away. Falling asleep on John’s couch was nothing like Garrett’s bed and John’s lanky arms never wrapped around her like Garrett’s. When she couldn’t sleep, John wouldn’t pull out his guitar and make up songs with her about aliens and astronauts and trying to save the world. He never got up early and run to the store when the Advil supply was low or he was out of coffee.

After John would leave her on the couch to go sleep in his own bed, no matter how tired she was, it would take hours to fall asleep. Holly wanted Garrett the most then, she wanted his arms around her and his breath against her skin. She wanted a phone call so badly, like hearing his voice would some somehow make the disgusting feeling inside her go away. Yet, Garrett never called and she’d lay there, clutching her phone like it would be the death of her if she dropped it. Of course she could be the one to call him, but she never did, knowing the excuses she came up with never seemed like a good enough reason to interrupt his sleep.

Another cup was handed to her, another voice filling the space between her and her old friends. She didn’t know these people and she really didn’t care about them. They made her anxious; the drinks didn’t taste right, they people didn’t look right. The whole party was wrong and it just made her miss home more. Garrett’s attendance wasn’t helping either, it just made her feel more anxious and off. She was embarrassed by the crowd and her own behavior, she was just proving to him how foolish she was. Everything that happened that evening kept her on edge; she wanted to fix it so they could go back to how they were but she didn’t know how or even how to explain to him how she felt. There was some foreign barrier between them now, keeping them from being able talk and open up.

Garrett found a corner to station himself in; one with a view of Holly and the crowd surrounding him. The evening had not gone the way he hoped and he didn’t expect it to get much better. She was distant, just like she was back when they first met. His eyes were full of hurt and remorse, his lips parted as if he was going to say something to her even though she was 20 feet away. The cup stayed tight in his hand, the liquid providing him with a tiny escape. Guys would approach her, touching her shoulder or giving her an awkward smile, making Garrett grit his teeth and take a sip of the drink.

He knew it was all true, everything she accused him that evening was exactly how he acted. The way he was with Todd was just further proof; he was the jealous, raging maniac she accused him of being. Even when one of the guys would hug her or snuggle against her he’d grow a little jealous. Threats would leave his lips faster then he could even process them and she’d giggle and hug him, telling him to be nice. Without her there to calm him down, Garrett would be so much worse with it.

Leaving the corner wasn’t an option. Going over to her definitely wasn’t an option. Walking away wasn’t an option. He could do nothing but stand by. As much as he wanted to go throw his arms around her and apologize for everything he said, he couldn’t. She wouldn’t listen, especially now that she was drinking. He loved drunk Holly just as much as sober Holly; it was a nice difference, she would allow herself to cut lose and have fun without over-thinking every move. She was impossible to control and wasn’t scared of anything. And Garrett loved that. It was her, but without her worried and cautious side.

Tonight, she was different; compared to all those night back then, when he would attend the parties with her. She was stiff and uptight, even bring the cup to her lips look annoyingly controlled. It made him worry, knowing that that wasn’t her. She would look at the pack of people around her and talk, glancing his way a few times, but she lacked a smile. Her eyes were just as heavy as his, her lips closed, her shoulders slumped down. She looked so defeated and drained.

Watching her was hard for him; he could only stand by and hope she wouldn’t do anything stupid. The drinks helped, he kept his cup full of whatever liquid was nearby. Garrett wasn’t the type to get plastered, he rarely liked the feeling of being tipsy from booze. Tonight though, it eased the pain on the fight before and seeing her like this. The taste and the burn in the back of his throat distracted him just enough to keep himself from cycling through thoughts of her again. He couldn’t stop after awhile, the pains seeming to switch and one distracted him from the other. Garrett knew how much he was drinking and knew he wasn’t a calm and quiet drunk, yet he couldn’t stop.

People continued to approach her, all shaking her hand or giving her a small hug. She’d greet them, smiling and talking about things Garrett couldn’t hear. He watched her lips, trying, in some desperate attempt, to figure out what she was talking about. Holly was friendly but never seemed to really click with anyone or even remember their name without them remembering her first. Garrett could tell she was uneasy about it all; as much as the girl liked partying, she got accustomed to Arizona parties.

This one was so different than what they were used to. Arizona parties, at least the ones they attended, were never this big. All the people that attended were people they knew. Garrett and Holly could recite their names and their drink of choice. Everyone knew Holly and Garrett. It made the events fun and relaxed. People went to socialize, not just to drink. Getting plastered wasn’t the goal and “hooking up” rarely happened. Sure, there was drama now and then, but no one really dragged it out an made it awkward for to long. The chaos they were in now was awful compared to what they were used to.

Garrett felt the alcohol spiraling through his system. He knew what he was approaching now, and the buzz in his head on made that more apparent. He’d lose control soon, making choices he’d never even consider sober. Words would escape his lips before he could process them. He was just as crazy as Holly, just as fun as Holly, and just as irresponsible as Holly when he drank.

Another guy walked towards her; he was a little taller than most of the crowd, his eyes locked on Holly from the moment he entered the room. And of course, Garrett noticed immediately. He set his drink down on the windowsill behind him clumsily, spilling a little of this liquid on the floor. Quickly, he weaved through the crowd towards her, watching the guy moving at a similar pace from the opposite direction. He saw it, that same look Todd had as the stranger’s eyes scanned over her, outlining every curve and eyes widening at the spots he likes. Garrett quickened his pace again, reaching out to her the moment she was at arms length from him.

“Gary?” She giggled, slipping an arm around him and propping her head against his shoulder when he scooted in beside her.

He beat the guy there, leaning backwards and seeing him turning around. It was a confidence boost, the one he really needed to push himself forward after the evening they had. Slowly, he slinked his own arm around her, feeling her sigh gently into his embrace and move closer. The crowd of people watched them, a few smiled and few looked away. Cups were passed around and for a few brief minutes when the two were quiet, it seemed as though things were getting better.

The pack of people talked with her and Garrett didn’t really tune in at first. It felt too nice, to be with her again. He could smell her, no matter how little and subtle her scent was. She was so perfect to him, no matter what she said or did. Even now, after all the fighting and crudeness that happened a few hours before seemed pointless. These moments, the ones where Holly and Garrett could be close, they were the ones he craved.

Memories were bring shared, ones before Garrett was in the picture. The ones that happened back when she was in high school. It was the information she kept so secret from him. Memories and stories, most from the high school days. Garrett listened, assuming that she was at the point now when she too drunk or too tired to object to him listening to them. Most made him smile or laugh gently. Stories of track meets and classroom lectures were told, all involving Holly.

“Remember when Holly and Matt Roderick were caught skinny dipping?” Garrett’s eyes traced over the crowd, looking for the owner of the voice. “On that senior camping trip.” Garrett found him and glared him as he told the story. “Mr. Conners got out of his tent on the last morning of the trip and he walked down to the lake and caught them, completely naked.”

Everyone chuckled but Garrett. All of them shook their heads and chimed in with little approving comments about how great that was to end their final year together. He was silent, waiting for some reaction from her that told him she had some sort of regret for the experience. When he felt her laugh against him, his jaw tighten and he stiffened his arm, letting go of her hip and dropping the limb. “That’s my Holly.” He mocked chuckled, something only she picked up on. “She’ll just take off her clothes for anyone, right sweetie?”

He took a sip of his drink, feeling her tense just like he did a few moments prior. A victorious smirk settled over his face as he watching her teeth grit together before quickly drinking the rest of her cup and signaling a friend to grab her another one. “Everyone but you.” She laughed. “Gary here, would’ve enjoyed seeing Matt out there a lot more than me.”

Holly’s friends laughed again, all completely unaware of the amount of tension that was already between them. The words they exchanged were laced with the same tone they used before, except the meanings of messages were far different. They left Garrett confused and completely unsure of how to act. She seemed angry but then, Holly liked playing this game.

“Baby,” Garrett smirked, letting go of her hip, “I’m the one that makes you scream all night.” Even he didn’t know what he was doing right now, the booze were taking over, turning off parts of his brain and making him just a crude and irrational as her.

Holly giggled, a reaction that only further verified how drunk she was getting too. If she were sober they probably wouldn’t be having this argument and she wouldn’t be enjoying it nearly as much. “That’d mean you’d have to last that long, Gar.”

“You were the one who got tired last night, not me.” He countered, downing the last bit of his drink and watching a new cup someone hand him a new one.

If they were home, John would have cut her off already. At the normal parties, she wasn’t allowed to get quite this plastered, to the point where words left her mouth before she even realized it. Garrett knew where she was going but like her, he lacked the parts of his brain to process information correctly. Instead, now he was doing nothing more than encouraging her, just as she was doing to him. Garrett figured it was a game that derived from the fight they just had; she was using this opportunity to take her frustration out on him without any regrets.

Holly twisted back into his grip and turned to face him. A smirk was tight across her cheeks, the light blush that formed from the words he said colored her face and neck. Garrett smiled back, unsure of her motives. Her hand slid over him slowly, trailing down the buttons of his shirt and gliding between each button. The other arm laced around his hips and pulled his closer to her. Holly mimicked the actions from the bar causing Garrett to freeze again. “Tired of not getting fucked properly maybe.” She whispered, the heat of her breath filling the small gap between them. He was tranced, feeling her lips pecking the bottom of his jaw turned the final bit of his nervous system on.

Her actions and her words countered each other, leaving him confused. As much as she enjoyed screwing with his head, this was beyond anything she ever did. Those words were angry and hostile unlike what her fingers and lips were doing. Holly’s revenge froze him, giving her enough time to move away from him and start moving to the other side of the room. Her friends still stood there, equally as confused as Garrett.

“What the hell just happened?” He mumbled, looking away from her briefly and watching the people around him. He was frustrated and confused, unsure about the entire thing. Before, she never seemed angry or upset; instead leading him and her friends to believe she was playing around. But now, Garrett knew that tone, especially after the argument they had a few hours prior. It was identical.

He walked off in the opposite direction, deciding quickly that he no longer cared about her and what she was doing. After all he’d done for her, she acted like that; it made him mad. She was no expert at communication but that was so unlike Holly that it even left Garrett lost. He usually got her pretty well, he could always pick up on her mood changes and when she was upset, but that was so different. It was a talent he had from the day he met her and he knew she loved that he could do that. It made it easy for her and forced her to talk.

Garrett didn’t like this and he didn’t know what to do. The guys weren’t here to help him sort out the issue. Holly wasn’t going to listen to him, especially with so much alcohol in her system. He couldn’t figure out what had happened. So instead of leaving or attempting to sober up and deal with it, he grabbed a few drink and navigated his way through the packs of people crowding the space.

Drinking never brought out Garrett’s good side; he was just as bad as Holly. They both got equally as reckless but just in different ways. She was carefree and rash, he was judgmental and lacked any form of common sense. He lost his kindness and caution, making him seem arrogant and insincere. While drunk Holly just danced more and flirted more, Garrett was being cruel to his friends and acting jealous about her. It was a good thing they didn’t party anymore because jealous Garrett mixed with carefree Holly had already proved to be a bad mix.

He needed another person’s input, someone who knew her habits now. After the two drinks he just finished and the one time he spotted Holly dancing with a guy, Garrett decided he didn’t know her anymore. He was growing angry and frustrated. Navigating to the makeshift kitchen took a little more effort then he wanted to spend, especially after he tripped within his first three steps. He dialed the familiar number, trying to press the buttons and steadying himself against the cup-covered countertop at the same time.

“Y’know Ken,” Garrett didn’t even give Kennedy a chance to figure out who was calling him before he started talking, focusing on forming each word right. “Holly’s a bitch.”

He heard Kennedy pause, scoffing quietly into the receiver. “What the fuck are you talking about? Holly is one of the sweetest—”

“Oh shut up Kennedy, she can’t hear you sweet talking her, stop trying to get into my girl’s pants.” Garrett interrupted, slurring his words together and looking down at the empty cups beside him. “She’s a fucking bitch who just runs around and bitches at everyone about everything and I’m sick of it.”

Kennedy chuckled into the phone, “You’re drunk, aren’t you?”

“Not drunk enough.” He scoffed, picking up a cup and looking at the contents.

“Uh Gar, do you really think it is a good for you to be drinking when you’re alone with Holly?”

“She’s no where near me Ken.” He scoffed again, sipping the liquid from the red cup, deciding it was acceptable to drink. “‘Sides she’s a different drunk now Ken. When did she get like this?”

“Garrett, is Holly with you?”

“I mean, she’s so nasty now, have you noticed?”

“Where is Holly?”

“The fucking things she said early fucking hurt Kennedy, like hurt deep inside. I don’t know if I’ll ever recover.”

“Garrett.” Kennedy spoke up, startling Garrett. “Where is Holly?”

“I dunno.” Garrett shrugged, “Who cares?”

Kennedy chuckled in disbelief. “I do and you did before you got drunk.”

“Nope.” He mumbled. “I don’t care about bitches.”

“Gary, you don’t mean that? She’s your best friend.”

“Nope. She’s a bitch and can fuck herself cause I’m not.”

“Please Garrett, you’re telling me you really don’t care where she is? That she could be upset like when she got lost trying find her way home from David’s party or that she could be getting sick like the first time she got drunk with us? Or that she could be with some random guy right now?”

“Nope.” Garrett spoke. “Don’t care about bitches, Ken.”

“Oh really? So it wouldn’t bother you if she dancing with some random guy or upstair in a room with him? I mean she could be making out with some stranger—”

“Dude, Kenny, why did you call me, you idiot? I’m with Holly. I need to go find her, God you are stupid.” He yelled, twisting around and slamming the phone against the receiver.

Garrett quickly attempted to compose himself, readjusting his shirt and holding the edge of the countertop beside him to regain his balance. He was drunk, to the point that to navigate the building required him to guide himself using the wall. The layout was foreign, causing him to walk into people and trip over his own feet more than normal.

He watched diligently, focusing as hard as he could to see her. Girls passed him, smiling and eyeing him but he never stopped. It was about Holly then because her safety was his concern. As much as he wished it was simply a social visit or to “check in”, Kennedy was right. She was known to get out of hand and go too far. That’s why John and Garrett watched her and made sure she was safe.

Her familiar squeal rang out, his name filling in the silence after it. Garrett turned, seeing her arm laced around guy’s waist and a cup in her hand. Her fingers tapped against his side in the same way she did with Garrett, her head resting against the side of his shoulder. He froze, watching her cuddle up against the guy and giggle when he said things.

It made him loose it; he didn’t care again about her. He didn’t care about what she was doing or who she was with. He thought that she only did that with him and that his body was the only one she wanted to support when she needed someone. Holly seemed perfectly okay with this other guy and so Garrett was done with her.

Before he could make it far, he heard her again, this noise more desperate for him. She wanted him and he was walking away. She’d never seen him do that. Holly was used to him being there the second she called for him. She just had to say the word and he would drop everything and run to her. Quickly, she untangled herself from the guy and tried to get to him. The alcohol made it hard, her feet would move right and the people around her interrupted her attempts. She couldn’t get back to him.

She reached out desperately again, feeling his hands grabbing hers and pulling her to him. Holly smiled again at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling their bodies together. “Gary,” She whimpered, resting her head on his chest. “Didn’t you hear me calling you?”

Of course he enjoyed the moment for a few seconds, allowing her warm body touch his and enjoying her affection. Quickly though, he pushed her away, making her arms drop to their spot. “Did you think that guy was me?” He spoke as sternly as he could, trying to ignore how much he just wanted to hug her and pull her out of the party.

Her eyes traced his features, trying to understand his seriousness and why he was pushing her away. “What are you talking about Gar? What guy?”

As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t deny her and this. She was sweet again and she wanted to hug on him and lean against him. He wasn’t going to stop her. Letting out a gently sigh, he let go off her hands, allowing them to snake back around to the base of his neck. “What’d you want Holls?”

She giggled, resting her head against his shoulder. “You, silly.” She breathed, the heat causing the blush to climb up his neck.

“What?”

“My friends, Gary” She giggled again. “I’ve been telling ‘em all about the band and you and I couldn’t find you but now I have. Come on G,” She let go off him, distancing their bodies and grabbing for his hand, lacing their fingers. “They wanna meet you.”

He let her guide him to her friends, leaning forward and catching her hips if she stumbled. They stopped once, picking up a drink each before continuing their quiet journey. They joined the circle, Garrett standing behind Holly and wrapping an arm around her waist, allowing her to lean against him for support. The conversation quickly focused on Holly again, a smirk settling in as she introduced him. “This is Garrett.” She spoke, “My rockstar boytoy.”

The group laughed, staring at him. “Boytoy?” Someone asked her, “Not boyfriend?”

“Oh no.” Holly chucked. “We don’t want to be that committed, right baby? Just fuck buddies.”

“Yeah.” Garrett couldn’t hide the frustration in his voice, dropping his arms from her waist and pushing her away gently. “You guys know how it is right? Don’t wanna tie myself down.”

He felt like a toy in her life then. Some accessory to play with when she was bored. This wasn’t like Arizona or what parties were like, she wasn’t mean like this. She was sweet and flirty, hugging on everyone she knew and trying to hug on everyone she didn’t. He couldn’t take this tonight. “Speaking of.” He pointed, the majority of her friends followed his finger, seeing the girl he was eyeing.

Holly’s eyes followed too and Garrett could see her tense up in the same ways he did when she was with a guy. Her eyes widened, the muscles over her jaw tightened as she watched the girl. “Her?” Holly scoffed, “Please Garrett, she’s not even pretty.”

The guys around her shook their heads, disagreeing with words. They all laughed at her, the drunken slurs surrounding her words. She was jealous at even the suggestion of someone else having his attention. Holly frowned, watching him strut over to the girl, the girl’s hand wrapping around his wrist, climbing to where Holly’s hands liked to be.

Garrett really had little interest in the girl. She was more drunk than Holly, her slurring was worse, and her hands that were sliding down his chest were cold against his shirt. He didn’t care though, because Holly was staring at them, her eyes tracing over their figures and her hands. Holly was jealous and she wasn’t hiding it. The girl giggled and Garrett didn’t think it was cute like he did when Holly giggle but he didn’t stop this girl when she pulled herself close, rubbing her own chest against him.

It sent Holly over the edge, stampeding towards him and ripping her away from him. Garrett smirked, staring at Holly, “Is there a problem Holls?”

Her eyes widen, the actions she just did catching up with her. “Uhh…hi Gar.” She pulled him towards her more, moving him away from the girl still. She couldn’t stop, her actions turning territorial. She wrapped herself against Garrett, feeling him embrace her quickly and snuggle into her. “Hi, I missed you.” She spoke again, loud enough for the girl too overhear.

It didn’t take Garrett long to forget about the fight and the cruel words. Holly’s hands played with the fringe of his hair in the back of his neck, tickling him slightly. This was what he wanted again, allowing the warmth of her body to melt away his anger. She felt perfect against him and curved into his body perfectly.

She let go some, glancing at the girl who touched him. “He’s taken sweetie, go find someone desperate enough to fuck you.” She sneered, before curling back against him.

Holly stood there, her fingers still tight in his hair and touching the back of his neck. He could feel her breaths against his neck. He held her for a while, as if he were comforting her after some tragic event scared her. Except nothing did moments before.

“Gary,” She mumbled, twisting slightly away to see him. “You’re cute when you’re trying to make me jealous.” She giggled into him again.

Before speaking he paused, watching her smile and look back at him “Oh, so I did made you jealous?”

“Oh shut up.” She groaned, pushing him away gently and putting some distance between them.

Garrett smiled again, extending his arms to catch her hips. “I’m cute huh?” He played with her statement more, teasing her with her own words. “Cuter than Kennedy?”

She pushed him away completely then, stepping away from him. “Seriously Garrett?” She stood, suddenly baffled at the joke he made. “You’re really going back to the that?”

“Holly, it is a legitimate question okay? Because you fucking talk about him like he is the hottest thing that roams this Earth, and you get drunk together and go to parties and dance together, at least that what John O’ says—”

“You have John O’ checking up on me?” Holly snapped, looking offended then. The tension was thick between them again, Holly’s voice echoing in the silence between them.

“Well it’s true, isn’t it?” Garrett went timid, finding a spot on the floor to stare at. He shouldn’t have brought it up, especially after he patched things the first time.

“Fine.” She snapped again, reaching for the collar of his shirt and dragging him towards the music. “You wanna dance Garrett? Fine, we’ll fucking dance okay?”

He attempted to interject and clarify that his intention was not to dance but simply to know what happened between her and Kennedy but he was halfway across the room before he found his voice again. She had a tight grip around his shirt, not giving him the opportunity to get away from her.

It started out innocent, a good foot space separated them. Holly’s back was to him and he tried to pay as little attention to her dancing as he could, trying to find the surrounding people way more interesting than they actually were. Garrett didn’t really move, trying his best to not embarrass himself in front of her. But he warmed up to the idea of it, knowing she and Kennedy did it “all the time” made it that much more okay with him. He felt comfortable, she wasn’t touching him and he didn’t have to touch her. It stayed like this for a few minutes, calm and quiet but once other people joined the floor Holly and Garrett keeping having to take small steps closer. And when guys would come towards Holly, she’d take a bigger step towards him, using him as a buffer. It got awkward for Garrett, her hands were touching him and she pulled his hands around her to continue to uphold their cover as boyfriend/girlfriend. She was too much her him, her hips only centimeters from his and her arms pulling them closer and closer.

Every time he thought she was safe again from strangers he’d try pushing her away gently. But every time she’d stay where she was, smiling at him and remind him that she and Kennedy did this all the time and it meant nothing. He assumed she was right and allowed her to stay close to him. He had no idea how much she was enjoying it and how much his scent was fueling her. She was living in the moment and he hadn’t realized how quickly she was spiraling.

He was protective to her, watching everyone else just as much as he watched her. Guys would come and try to butt in but Garrett was careful, glaring and cursing at the ones who even stepped in the friend zone around them. One guy though, he was either too drunk or too stupid to pick up on Garrett’s cues, quickly moved closer to her and eyeing her in the same way Todd had. Jealous Garrett grabbed her, pulling her to protect her and to claim her. He was the one that invited her to dance against him and he enjoyed it; her touch was intoxicating, He was losing himself, the booze began pulling his rational side away, leaving him as reckless as Holly. As soon as he realized what he was doing though, he pulled away, trying his best to suppress the red covering his cheeks and neck.

“W-what are—Holly, no, don’t you..uh..think this is a little, inappropriate?” He stuttered out, looking at her.

She chuckled confidently. “Relax Garrett.”

He was tense, his hands not touching her and his body cautiously leaning away. The goal just to not encourage her because then she would stop. This was her game and he wasn’t going to be involved. Garrett knew her and how she was. Joining the behavior would just make it worse and trying to control her would just make her more defiant.

“Garrett?” She whined quietly into his ear, her arms dropping from the grip they had around his neck and tracing his arms, her hands hovering over his. “Don’t you wanna dancing with me?”

Before he got a chance to respond, she was pulling his arms over, placing them on her hips and smiling. Resisting it was hard. He wanted this and hoped for this. He was getting what he wanted, the have her complete attention on him and on their moment. He didn’t have to shared it with John or Kennedy, it was strictly theirs to remember.

Garrett finally gave in, allowing her to do what she wanted. She was too much for him; it was the same way at home, even over most simple things. He’d just give in to make her smile. If she was happy, he’d be happy. And it wasn’t like Garrett didn’t enjoy this, he got to touch her and she was attentive to him. It wasn’t as if he was forcing her to do it.

By the time he got comfortable she was bored. Holly wanted more because it felt good. She wanted to have even more of his attention. She wanted to feel more of him and smell him again. So she turned, startling Garrett. Of course she giggled at him, making the blush rise up his neck again.

She stepped closer to him, watching as he watched her, confusion etched into him. She rested on hand on his chest, testing him once before allowing her hand to push gently against the top metal button of his shirt, watching it pop open. “H-holly?” He swallowed, “St—Stop.”

He felt her fingertips brush his bare skin under the shirt and he suppressed his throaty response to the gesture, his hand capturing her wrist. She smiled again as he pulled her hand away from his buttons and dropping by her side. Her face lit up, the typical “competitive Holly” coming out. It was a game for her now, to see how much she could get from Garrett. It’s what she did with Kennedy, only he was a lot easier and John would always pull her away before anything got out of hand.

The moment he let go of her arm, it was back at the next button. She played with the fabric first, twisted it between her fingers and rubbing it with her thumb. Her eyes though, were staring at Garrett, who was looking at her and then her hand. She was challenging him, taunting her with the power she knew she had now. Garrett couldn’t decided between fighting it or letting her go. The drinks he had made it tough, they seemed to tug his head to the direction that he knew he shouldn’t go.

She hit the next button, her fingers now climbing their way into his shirt and his throaty response becoming harder and harder to push away. The game was uneven now; Holly’s score reaching a new high, while Garrett was having trouble even competing in it. He wanted to give in and let her and the alcohol take over. It was far more draining to fight it then to give in.

He didn’t intervene until her hand rubbed over his skin above the button of his jeans, causing him to snap back, pulling her hand from it’s location. “No.” He was stern, watching her smile again. Garrett felt foolish, denying a girl who he loved like this.

That big competitive smile surfaced again, “What Garrett?” She groaned out. “Can’t take it?”
Garrett stepped back again, feeling the crowd around them get closer and closer. And she just followed him, reaching out and grabbing either side of the unbuttoned shirt and yanking him towards her. “Come on Garrett.” She whispered.

It was getting impossible to resist her. As much as he wanted her to stop, at the same time, he loved this attention. She was doing exactly what he knew she’d do; she was flirting with him. That’s how she was drunk, even at home. It was the biggest reason he stopped going to those parties with her. Garrett cared too much about her to let them destroy their friendship over a drunk mistake. He decided, with John’s help, that it would just be best to stop going with her. John was willing to watch her and be there for her so that Garrett could stop.

He couldn’t help but hope one of the guys were here. They’d pull here away distracting her just long enough for him to compose him. John would distract her with conversation or drinks while he slipped far enough away that she couldn’t find him but he could see her. “No.” He snapped again, trying to keep the idea of ruining his friendship with her as his main goal. His eyes drifted from her’s, attempting to turn off the attention and making her realize what she was doing.

Holly let go for a moment, taking a small step backwards. “Gary.” She whimpered.

It was the wrong move, to turn and look at her. She was playing, hoping for anything to fuel her to continue. He looked down at her, immediately concerned form her tone and sudden lack of contact. She was good, looking back at him and smirking again, closing the gap and taking his eye contact as an invitation for more. She picked up his hand, placing it on her hip, allowing her to be even closer.

His pushed her away gently again, using his hand placement to his advantage. “No.” He spoke sternly again. “We’re not doing this.”

She was skillful, brushing her fingers across the skin of his chest and abdomen. His skin warmed under the contact and he bit down hard on his lips, trying to control himself. Holly wouldn’t stop; it was in her nature. She wanted him and his attention, trying everything she could think of to do it. Her hands grazed down the skin, touching the spot over his hips before sinking her hands into his back pockets. She smiled, feeling a small bit of victory as he had yet to stop her. She stepped closer, bring their torsos together, and hovering at his shoulder. “Really?” She whispered, her breath spreading over the skin and causing goosebumps to cover the skin. “Because Garrett, I think you do wanna do this.” She didn’t slur, her words weren’t thick from the alcohol. It sounded exactly like Holly. Her lips touched the back of his neck and his heart plunged into his stomach.

Garrett couldn’t stop himself; the feeling caused his breathing to stop momentarily. His brain was now mush, his fingers curled around her hips, playing with the bottom of her shirt. He couldn’t compose himself and she wasn’t making this easy. Garrett knew Holly. He knew every food she liked, every mood she was in, and every reaction she would have. He knew her so well, but yet this, he didn’t have a clue. She was relentless and he didn’t know why. She did it again, this time kiss it same spot slowly. He was frustrated and tired, but mostly he wanted more. Garrett pushed gently against her hips, straighten her posture so she had to look at him. “Stop it.” He mumbled, words still having trouble coming out and his tone weak. She giggled, hitting his collar bone with another kiss.

He let out a frustrated groan, pushing against her again and in one desperate move, push his lips against hers. Garrett thought it would work, that the feeling of her lips on his would not be nearly as bad as her lips on his skin. It didn’t work. And his frustrated gesture was evolving quickly, Holly taking it as something different than what he meant. She was being gentle, slowly down his rough kiss into something else. Garrett couldn’t figure it out; she was so good and quick that he didn’t even realize they were making out until she pulled away.

He looked away bashfully, trying to not look at her. “I’m-uh…sorry, I was just…” Garrett was guilty now, he kissed her drunk. He was worse than Kennedy now. He didn’t just flirt with her or dance, he kissed her. And he couldn’t even blame her for initiating it. Garrett’s lips touched hers first.

“You taste so good, Gary.” She ignored what he was trying to say, a quiet giggle escaping her lips. “We should have done this long time ago.”

Her fingers touched the underside of his jaw, pulling his head back down to her. His height was convenient, she barely had to stand on her tip-toes to reach his mouth and he barely had to slouch to keep her lips connected to his. It was like they were made for this and Garrett took note of the ease.

Garrett was more cautious now, making sure to not inspire her to try anything else. While she tugged at his shirt and hair, her hands climbing around his body, his stayed at her hip. He felt awkward, the crowd around the seemed to realized what had happened and turned to see.

Kissing Holly was nothing like he expected it to be. Holly had a certain vulnerability kissing him; her own neediness for him becoming more obvious. She was delicate in his arms and no matter how hard she tugged at the shirt around his neck, he never tugged back. It wasn’t about having another battle with her like the fight before, he was too roped into her in that moment. She tasted too good and felt too perfect to fight with again.

When she pulled away again, he was nervous. She could have sobered up suddenly and realized she was kissing her best friend. She could storm off, leaving Garrett stranded at a party with people he didn’t know. Her face was blank, leaving him with nothing to go with and causing him to panic more. He started working on excuses and reasons to tell her; they’d be filled with apologies and promises. He’d vow to never cross the boundaries again and it was a drunk mistake. But when he realized her blank stare turned into a playful smile, the excuses slipped away, and he couldn’t keep himself from smiling back.

“Come on Gary.” She whispered into his ear, giggling again. He felt the warmth of her breath again, her lips pecking the underside of his jaw before she turned in his grasp.

She led the way, leaving their spot on the dance floor to find somewhere quieter and secluded. Holly had a tight grip on the sides of his shirt, pulling his torso against her back. They were that drunk couple, stumbling around the groups of people, desperate to find somewhere with more privacy than the middle of the room. Holly would stumble or trip, the booze and his proximity turning her into a klutz. Garrett would laugh at her, watching her struggle to regain her balance and then when she almost fell he’d catch her hips and bring her close, allowing her to use him to find her center again.

They wandered around, Garrett so oblivious to where they were until Holly stopped. She quickly flipped around to see him; her competitive smirk was completely gone now. She was a clean canvas then, leaving no expression for him to judge or analyze. But then, when he started growing worried she smile again, laughing at his sudden concern. Before he got the chance to talk or ask her anything, she kissed him again. It was different this time; she wasn’t rough with him and wasn’t tugging at his clothes and hair. Her hands were casually resting at his waist, holding onto the sides of his plaid shirt. It confused him; suddenly making him reanalyze all of her intentions and feelings them.

Garrett was the one to pull away again, keeping her body close to him. She blushed some, looking back at him with the same soft look. Holly?” He asked calmly, concern tightening his eyebrows. “Is everything—” He stopped mid sentence, the word floating away from his mind as she smirked again, pushing her hands into his sides slightly.

She looked innocent again, playing with the small smile and looking into him. Garrett took a step back, a reaction to her hands before feeling the sudden pressure against the back of his knees. He didn’t even get a chance to look back before he fell into the couch behind. Her smirk grew and as he tried to stand up, she pushed down on his shoulders.

The smirk that covered her said so many words that neither one was attempting to bring forth. It was devilish and coy, her eyes watching him as he situated himself on the couch. Garrett tried to understand the gesture, plotting out all the possibilities of what would happen. He used previous experience, imagining all the parties they went to and all the people she interacted with.

Kennedy’s face immediately appeared and he couldn’t stop the muscles along his jaw from tightening. This could have been the new tradition. It could have been what she did at the parties while John played beer pong and joked around with friends. Just the idea of them together hurt Garrett. “H-holly,” He stuttered out, looking at her nervously, “Is this-uh,” He looked for the right words, trying to hold back his sudden jealous, drunken rage that was building around the thoughts. “With K-Kenny? You do this too?”

Holly crawled on the couch over him, her knees and shins brushing the outside of his thighs. He could smell her now as she brought her body close to his, tossing her hair up into a makeshift bun. It was attractive and unattractive at the same time. After all that fighting and screaming, she looked happy and complacent sitting on his lap. But the action she did made him feel like big game, the type that required her put effort forth.

Quickly, she leaned into him, picking her butt up off his knee caps and scooting into his lap. Her arms wrapped around his neck, hands brushing the base of his neck before snaking up into her hair. “Nope.” She whispered into his ear again, arching her back into him.

He nervously chuckled, trying to ignore her hand touching the back of his neck and every part of her body touching him then. “That’s ‘cause I’m cuter, right?” He teased, trying to focus on anything but her.

“Mhmm.” She breathed into the crook of his neck, her eyelashes brushing his skin. Garrett knew that response; she wasn’t listening to him. It was the first time he was okay with her not caring about his words, because this meant she wasn’t going to scream at him for making another joke or get up and leave. “And you taste way better.”

She didn’t even give Garrett a chance to process the words she said before her lips were on his neck and her body was tight again his. She worked her way around, climbing up his jaw and cheek. The moment she reached his lips, Garrett kissed back softly, trying to slow her rapid, rough movements back to the slow, intimate kiss they shared earlier.

He embraced the affection but even worse, he enjoyed it. She was drunk, he could taste the liquor on her lips and see it in her system. But he wasn’t about to stop because he was just as drunk and felt just as reckless as she was. Holly’s hands felt right in his hair and her body felt right arching into his and her lips felt so perfect kissing his. She had to feel it. This was his Holly, she had to know because it all felt right. She had to realize how perfect it was. He wanted it to be real and for her to understand his feelings without him having to make some grandiose gesture.

Yet, her record wasn’t exactly clean and he barely knew what she did at parties anymore. John tried to fill him in on the minor details but he knew John left stuff out. Garrett never heard stories about her and Kennedy anymore and he knew the truth. She and Kennedy were close, especially when they’d party. Holly would dance and flirt, playing with his hair and hugging him the way she was doing tonight. John called it innocent when he told Garrett; he always made a point to tell him that Kennedy and Holly only did it because Garrett never went with her anymore.

It was getting out of hand quickly. Garrett’s hands rested on her shoulders awkwardly, intentionally trying to stop her from taking it further than it was already. But when she pulled away, groaning into his neck and moving her shoulders slightly, he got the message, relocating them to her hips. He couldn’t stop himself, once she came back to kiss him he tugged at the bones and skin around her hips, bringing her as close as she could to him. Garrett finally took control of her, kissing her back hard and initiating the contact. She would gasp and moan when his lips touched her neck and clavicles. That worsened it. Making Garrett lose everything. He didn’t care anymore. It was his mission now to hear her make those noises again and to bring her that pleasure. It was so wrong. He knew better than to take this sort of advantage of her and he knew this would never happen if the guys were here. But this was their moment and she wasn’t trying to stop so he didn’t either. This was Holly and he loved her and had grown so desperate for her attention. He was so drunk on her that the alcohol didn’t effect him anymore.