Exhale

It was weird at first, to be sitting downstairs with her brother while she slept upstairs. Garrett felt like he was violating some strict code with her and the moment she would see him sitting her brother, the controller in his hands, that she’d flip out. She kept information about her family close, never really giving him or the guys any details on their dynamic or history. As far as Garrett knew, she barely talked to any of them, he’d even have to remind her to send out emails a few times a month to the members. They never called, she never wanted to visit. She rarely liked talking about them or explaining to him why things seemed so strained between her and her parents.

They both stay silent, the only noises out of the two were the grunts of defeat or directions one would give the other. Their thumbs pressed against the keys, both squinted from staring at the screen so long. It felt like hours and for Garrett, it felt like home. The game brought him back to his room at their apartment, where he would sit on the edge of his bed firing rifles and watching zombies die. He could practically hear her in the other room, her own stereo low and her humming to the music.

His lack of attention made them lose the round. Tyler groaned, setting the controller down beside him and leaning forward, taking a handful of chips from the bag. “So Garrett,” He mumbled, distracted by the food on the table on front of him. “You’re from Arizona, right?”

Garrett muttered a yes, watching him as he gather the food he wanted to eat from their containers. He could see their similarities again, they way he slouched and how he eyed food. Biting back the laugh, he leaned forward too, taking a sip of his soda. “It’s so different here.”

Tyler let out a forced chuckle, looking up at him from the food. “Never would’ve guess Holly grew up like this, huh?”

“No.” He mumbled, the word slipping from his lips before he could process it. It took the Tyler’s new frown and look away from Garrett to realize what it sounded like. “No-I… uh, I don’t think—I mean, it’s not that I…uh, think less of it, here. I j-just didn’t really know what to expect, y’know?”

The frown turned into a confused smirk, another gesture that immediately reminded him of Holly. That snapped him back, causing him to twist around, looking back at the screen, and gesture at him to play another round. Only when Garrett picked up the controller, Tyler didn’t, the main menu’s music continued. He could feel Tyler’s confused stare still on him and he still tried to ignore it, glancing back again to if he’d moved any.

“Are you and Holly not close?” He still seemed confused. His hands stopped digging through the bag of chips and fingers stopped playing with the cord of his controller. Tyler’s focus was on Garrett, not even the video game could distract him.

“We are close,” Garrett realized what he was doing and that this wasn’t his job. He came on this trip to be her support when explaining it to them, now he was doing it. Licking his lips, he glanced at the stairs nervously, as if Holly was there. “B-but, uh, it’s uh—”

“I’m just wondering since my mom always makes it sound like you two are, like, together.” Tyler interrupted.

Garrett never expected her family to be the ones to assume their relationship was anything beyond platonic. Back when Holly talked to her parents frequently, she’d constantly remind them that she and Garrett were only friends. Even over the last year, when she refused to call them and the emails were sent less and less often, Holly would tell her mother and father that she and Garrett were simply best friends. Yet, they had chosen to look past her words, coming up with their own tainted answer to the unconventional relationship.

They were both silent, Tyler continuing to look at Garrett, waiting for him to respond. Garrett’s attention focused on the base of the steps, where he waited, and hoped, Holly would appear to clear these things up. He didn’t know what she would tell him, whether telling him the truth and they were friends or give him some bogus lie where she’d tell Tyler something she’d hoped he’d pass on to her mother. Tyler coughed, encouraging Garrett to reply to the statement.

Biting on his bottom lip and pushing the fringe of hair from his eyes, he kept his attention on the stairs. “Uh,… we’re j-just friends.” He muttered.

“Friends?” Tyler responded immediately, his lips slowly turning upwards, “Friends in what terms? Because the last time I checked friends don’t give friends hickeys.”

Garrett froze, his jittery leg ceasing its bouncing and his hand stopping its search for food. His eyes traced over her brother’s sly smile; it matched the one Holly wore when she had found something to freak Garrett out over. “Wh-what, hic—uh, wha-what? I, uh…n-never g-gave—”

The smile continued to grow, just as Holly’s would and that made Garrett more nervous. Nobody was supposed to see those or know they existed. They weren’t even supposed to be there. His drunken mistake was being flaunted around on her neck for everyone to see. And he had no control over who got to see them or who would hear the story, because they were as much Holly’s as his.

“I mean, Holly’s had plenty of guys leave marks on her life and usually I’m fine with that; she’s a tough girl. But I’d prefer for those marks to remain off her neck, y’know?” Tyler spoke and Garrett wasn’t sure whether her brother was kidding or not; whether his words were meant to be taken as some joke or as a threat.

He bit down on his lips, taking a deep breath, and tried to collect himself. Explaining this would require him to actually complete a sentence without his nerves turning the words into drawn out syllables that could barely be understood. “Uh, listen, T-tyler…” He paused again, exhaling slowly before looking at him. “I didn’t—it’s not w-what—”

“Hey man,” Tyler interrupted, “From what I’ve heard, I’d rather it be you giving her one then Greg Klein or some guy she met at the barn.”

Suddenly, Garrett wasn’t trying to put together some excuse for the marks or how to explain to her brother his feelings without admitting everything. His focus was now on the new name and figuring out if he’d ever heard of him before. He went through all the conversations they’d had, whether it was just between them or just something he’d overhear when she talked to Kennedy or Jared. The name didn’t seem to register though and he assumed then that, just like Todd, she’d never told anyone about him. “Who’s that?” Garrett whispered.

“Greg Klein?” Tyler repeated and Garrett simply nodded, his jaw tightening in fear of what he was about to hear. “He was just some pig she sort of dated during high school. He was friends with her one day and then the next, she’s coming home looking like she was some piece of candy for him to suck on.”

Her brother’s words didn’t make Garrett any more comfortable, his jaw staying tight as he attempted to make some sound to communicate something to him. After a loud groan, he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Um,… w-well—uh, I-i’d—”

“I’m not trying to say you see my sister as your new piece of candy, Garrett.” Tyler mumbled, eating a chip from the bag, seeming to notice Garrett discomfort. “I mean, I can tell you care about her. You’ve been her friend for like what, two years or something; that’s way longer than any of those jackasses were around. You’re like 15 steps up from all of them combined.”

A faint blush spread over Garrett’s cheeks and he tried to smile at the compliment. “Yeah, H-Holly’s a great girl. I just wish she could cover them up a little better, y’know? It’s like she forgets they’re there or something.”

Tyler chuckled, twisting around to face the television. His fingers brushed over the buttons quickly, “Don’t even get me started on that, man.” He started selecting his character and the weapon he would carry, “Like, if you could have seen how many arguments she started between her, Mom, and Dad, because she couldn’t cover them up.” He paused, turning to see Garrett again, signaling towards the screen to tell Garrett he needed to pick his character too. “Mom thinks they are the most disgusting thing. It was always so funny listening to them scream.”

They both heard the front door open, a woman’s heels clicking through the entry way slowly before she appeared in the living room. Her hands were full of bags of groceries, a purse pulled high on her shoulder, and a phone balanced between her ear and shoulder. She talked fast and stood by the arm chairs across from the couch, seeming to grow more and more annoyed with whoever was on the line. Before Tyler could get Garrett to take the controller back in his hands, the woman was clicking the button carefully and sending a smile to her son.

“I didn’t know you’d be back so early, Garrett. Did you have a nice time last night?” She smiled, dropping the grocery bags on the chair for a moment and pulled the purse from her shoulder, setting it on the table between the chairs.

He mustered up a small smile, trying to not remember that she was the reason Holly woke him up yesterday with tears in her eyes. “I did actually.” He coughed at his own words. “Holly showed me a great time.”

“She’s home, right?” She asked, watching Garrett.

He nodded, “She’s sleeping.” The smile dropped from his lips quickly as he pointed up at the ceiling. “But will probably be up in a bit. I can, uh… go get her if you need her.”

“I can just talk to her when she gets up.” Georgia shrugged, “No rush.”

He didn’t get a chance to respond before she already had the bags back in her hands and was moving towards the kitchen. Tyler sent him a look, one that he knew he’d never get, no matter how hard he tried to. It was a Thomas family look, one Holly would give him that he struggled to understand.

Garrett picked up the controller, not bother to reply to the boy’s words earlier. The way Holly acted made it obvious that her mother was destined to see the hickeys and no doubt would assume they were Garrett’s doing. Flicking through the options of weapons, he focused on Tyler’s words, twisting through each one to understand more. Before this trip, Holly was innocent. The guys and him did put her on some pedestal like she told him yesterday. They were all completely clueless to her past and had just assumed she lived a quiet, dull life. But even Tyler led him to believe that she was far from innocent and that her past wasn’t quiet.
It gnawed at him, the idea of someone else giving her a hickey or someone else kissing her. The thoughts tormented him during the battle he and Tyler played through. The video game that normally could distract him from whatever problem he was having with her, simply didn’t cut it. Even with the rifle in his character’s hand and enemy zombies running towards him, he couldn’t get the ideas from his head.

He sunk into the couch more when the team had died again, not bothering to acknowledge Tyler’s loud groan and glare at him. A more important question tugged at him, he wanted clarity on the issue. Everyone had been too vague answering his questions before and now was his one opportunity to know. “So, uh… she got a lot of hickeys?”

A smile covered Tyler’s face as he turned to see him, keeping his hoped on the controller. Shrugging, he watched Garrett. “Obviously her moving to Arizona was a good thing.” Garrett gave him a confused glare, still just wanting the answer to his question. “Seems like you take great care of her if you didn’t know she acted like this.”

It didn’t answer the question and Garrett bit back his frustrated groan. He wanted to know and he thought Tyler was the solution. It seemed perfect, Tyler was around for it all and seemed to trust Garrett enough to tell him what happened without telling Holly he was asking. Tossing the controller aside, he rose from the spot of the couch, stretching a little and grabbing his empty can of soda. “I’m gonna take a little break.” He glanced back at the boy. “Get another drink. Maybe check on Holly.”

“Probably a good idea,” Tyler smirked at him. “You’re sucking again.”

He didn’t answer, leaving the boy on the couch as he walked towards the entrance of the kitchen. Part of him wanted to run upstairs first to check on Holly and make sure she was sleeping still. Guilt was still heavy when he thought of her, reminded of the fact that he left her earlier without an explanation to the sudden change of their routine. He frowned, stepping through the threshold between the two rooms, and seeing Georgia Thomas circling the kitchen, putting food away in the fridge and pantry. Her hands would go from bag to bag, searching for similar things to put away. He continued quietly, setting the empty can on the counter.

“Would you like some help?” He smiled, watching her from behind the island. “I’m a pro at putting food away.”

The mother sent him a skeptical glance over her shoulder. “Oh, that’s alright Garrett, you don’t have to.” He picked up the tone in her voice, sending him another glance that made him only that much more determined to help her and show her how capable he was.

“It’s not a problem though, I do it at home because Holly refuses to help with those sorts of things.” He pushed, taking a step further and opening a bag, pulling the contents out. “I-i mean, she does a lot, but n-not putting groceries away.”

“Oh yes, now that sounds like my Holly.” The woman continued moving, now pointing to locations for Garrett to put his bag’s food away in. “She was never very good at it, she’d just go through the bags for something she’d like and then go sit down and eat it, ignoring the rest.”

Chuckling, Garrett nodded slightly, reaching up to a cabinet and pushing the box of cereal into it. “She’s notorious for that.” He agreed.

Conversation ceased when she slipped out into the garage, carrying in a few more bags full of food. Garrett grabbed two, shuffling around and putting things were she’d say they went. She went through the bags just as quickly, putting jars and cans away and the boxes into the pantry. Once she emptied the final bag, she turned back to him, watching him as he put the last few things away. “So last night was fun, hm?” That motherly curiosity filled the question, the same tone that his own mother used to use when he’d arrive home late or woke up looking hungover. “I hope Holly showed you all the good spots in town.”

“Yeah, we uh… had an awesome time.” He replied, not bothering to meet her curious gaze.

She leaned against the counter as he opened the fridge and pulled out another soda. “What did you do?” Her words reminding him of his own mother even more then.

“Just met up with some of Holly’s old friends.” He shrugged, trying to keep the response as vague as possible and hoped she wouldn’t look into it any further.

Holly’s mother perked up at the words, looking at Garrett. “Really?” She looked surprise and seemed even more curious. “Who did you meet up with?”

He wished he didn’t have to answer, knowing that telling her mother about the details of her night was Holly’s job. But Georgia watch him intently, giving him no opportunity to slip away or change the topic. “Uh, just a few people from high school.” He tried shrugging off the topic, trying to make it less eventful than it had been for the two of them. “People were just sort of, in-and-out, y’know? I don’t really remember everyone’s names.”

“Well, did you meet a Lucy Mathers?” Her mother tried, not giving Garrett a second to think of an excuse to slip out of the kitchen and back to the video games. “She was Holly’s best friend during high school, I’d imagine she’d show up to see Holly.”

The name sounded familiar, but only from the rare stories Holly would share. He couldn’t remember if he had met the girl last night, all the details of the night before were blurry. “Yeah,” Garrett lied, not confident whether he had or not, “She stopped by for a bit.”

“Then I’d imagine Kyle was there too, since those two are still glued at the hip and all.” Georgia smiled, “And what about Yvonne Porter or Stacy Kepler, they both played tennis with Holly?”

Garrett nodded, the names weren’t familiar at all now. And her mother continued, running through Holly’s high school life with Garrett in the kitchen. He heard about Natalie Bishop and Holly’s fight in class, the only time she had ever had to visit the principal and about Holly’s first boyfriend, Peter Walsh. The stories went quickly, Garrett nodded about meeting her swimming partner from junior year, Kim Dawson and her tutor for Calculus, Harrison Andrews. Honestly, he didn’t know a single one, maybe a name sounded familiar or a story would make him think he knew what she was talking about, but he didn’t. Holly’s past was something he knew so little about.

“Did Todd show up?” Mrs. Thomas looked over him again, this time more serious. “I know they didn’t exactly leave things—“

“Yes.” Garrett interrupted, “Todd came.”

Georgia giggled, a smile forming over her lips. The gesture worried Garrett, his mind immediately racing through what the woman could possibly mean. Never had he met a parent that loved their child’s ex. Not even his parents, who were always especially nice to anyone he brought home, never even wanted to hear him speak of the girls he’d brought home before Holly. And yet, Holly’s mom stood on the opposite side of the kitchen, her lips pulled upwards in a reminiscent smile. Maybe Todd wasn’t so bad, maybe Garrett had simply run into Todd on a particularly bad day. They hadn’t stuck around long enough for Garrett to even understand the boy’s relationship to Holly and what they meant to each other. He seemed so unbearable, even Holly’s reaction to seeing him made Garrett think so. But with Georgia’s smile, Garrett wondered and worried if maybe he got it all wrong.

“Y’know Garrett,” The words pulled Garrett from his thoughts, “This whole family loved Todd; her father and I especially. It was such a shame when they broke up.”

The frown he had snuck more and he avoided looking at her. He didn’t know what to think now. That could have been why they actually came back, maybe Holly missed Todd. Garrett didn’t know and now, it made him nervous. Just the idea of her and Todd together made his stomach drop. He’d have to drive back alone then, facing the embarrassment of dropping his parents’ car off alone, and have them immediately question where she was.

“That boy was so perfect for her.” Her mother continued and Garrett bit his lower lip apprehensively, “He’d bring her flowers to school and always hold her hand. He talked to us too, not just as Holly’s parents but as friends or advisors. He was always asking for advise; whether it be about college or a research paper, he’d always ask Tristan and I what we thought.”

But Garrett knew Holly. And he met Todd. No matter how he analyzed it, this wasn’t the same Todd he met at the bar the night before. Todd didn’t seem like the type to open doors for her or stop things when they went to far. Even in the bar, after not seeing Holly for almost two years, Todd was ready to take advantage of her. And even though she wasn’t looking for the perfect gentleman, she held herself to a higher standard then Todd’s type. At least Garrett hoped. Even the worst guys she brought home in Arizona were better than that. Even the guys that made her upset after the first date or the ones who broke up with Holly for no reason were better than Todd.

He heard his name from the other room, Tyler’s voice traveling through the space quickly. “Dude, come in here quick, I got to the next level. You gotta see this.”

Garrett expected the mother to continue like his own would, but she stopped, mid-sentence, glancing at the hallway separating the two rooms. The smile on her face dropped when she heard her son yell for Garrett again, glancing at him. “I think Tyler wants you.”

Mustering up a small, forced smile, Garrett simply nodded. He waited a few seconds, making sure Mrs. Thomas didn’t need any further help or wanted to tell him anything else. She turned away from from him, pulling out the produce from the last bag and setting them on the cutting board in front of her. Garrett took that as the okay and he proceeded out of the kitchen, the can of soda in his hand. As he got further to the living room, he heard his name one last time, the video game’s music growing louder as he stepped into the room.

“I figured I help you get out of there.” Tyler spoke, still watching the screen as his character seemed to be successfully killing the correct zombies to progress through the level. “I know how my mom likes to talk for days, trying to figure out every detail of those nights you don't want to ever discuss aloud.”

“Yeah, uh… thanks.” Garrett muttered, sitting down on the couch beside the boy.

Tyler was silent for a few moments, a deep sigh escaping his lips when he character was attacked and the screen turned red. “So, what was she harassing you about?”

Garrett pulled his attention away from the stairway, looking at her brother before focusing on his hands. “Oh, uh… she just w-wanted to know what we did last night.” He shrugged. “She seemed pretty happy when I mentioned we ran into Todd though”, Her brother groaned at his words, and Garrett smiled some, “It’s kinda weird that that she loved Holly’s ex, don’t you think? I mean, aren’t parents supposed to hate their children’s exes?”

Chuckling, Tyler dropped the controller, looking at Garrett. “And with a guy like Todd, you’d think they’d really hate him, wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah,” Garrett replied, licking his bottom lip. “When we met up with him he wasn’t exactly a g-gentleman to us.”

“Oh did he not turn his charm on then?” Tyler replied sarcastically, keeping his gaze on Garrett as Garrett watched the main menu’s graphics for the game they played repeat.

Garrett’s attention was back on her brother, “What?”

“Todd’s a pretty talented guy.” Tyler smiled like Holly again, “He can charm his way through anything. That’s how he got through high school, that’s how he got his job, and that’s how he got Holly’s, and my parents’ heart.”

“Yeah, I uh… know the type.” He mumbled back, “Hate ‘em.” Looking away, he continued, “The singer in my band, John, he thinks he one. So back when he was single he’d go get completely drunk then hit on a dozen or so girls a night, every one rejected him. He can get fans’ moms though. And somehow he got his girlfriend, no only really knows how.”

“You’re not half bad, Garrett. I don’t get why my mom doesn’t like you.” Tyler smiled, hitting a series of buttons again, and continuing his game.

They were both silent. He tried not to let the thoughts of Todd eat at him again. If Holly came down and saw him angry and jealous again, she’d only get more upset with him. He knew they were having issues right now and he had no intention of adding to them now. He bit down on his lip softly, trying to let the subject of Todd leave and Tyler’s character distracted him. Except it didn’t work, Todd’s voice rang out again. Everything he said yesterday spiraled around in him, making his jaw clench and his stomach churn.

“Y’know Tyler,” Garrett smirked in the same cruel fashion he had the day before, when Holly yelled at him. “I mean, what’s so bad about being a charmer? Everyone loves them, they get everything they want. It’s like the easiest way to get everything you want.”

At first, Tyler chuckled, assuming Garrett was being sarcastic but when he didn’t speak again, he looked away from the screen for a moment. “You can’t be serious?”

“I am actually,” He smiled more. “Todd’s got everything he wants. I don’t have everything I want. It makes sense.”

Tyler paused the game again and set the controller down. “Todd’s a lying, manipulative asshole, Garrett. I hate the guy now. We all do except my parents.”

“Holly obviously doesn’t.” Garrett reminded. “I mean, we went and saw him last night and she was nicer to him then she is to me.”

Tyler’s eyebrows rose in disbelief, “Believe me, Garrett, I may not know a lot about their relationship, but I remember Holly after they broke up, I heard what she’d say about him. I know that whatever you saw last night was an act because she hasn’t been a big fan of Todd since they split up.”

“Well what did she say about him?” His curiosity causing the tension in his jaw to disappear. “Because when I saw them yesterday, they were pretty friendly, obviously the break-up couldn’t be that bad?”

Another small chuckle left Tyler’s lips as he turned back to his game, “Well maybe he forgave her.” He spoke quietly.

Before Garrett could further question the boy’s response, they heard footsteps upstairs. They rounded the corner where Garrett and Holly’s room was, slowly moving towards the staircase. It sounded like her; Garrett had heard her stumble from her room to his at home to recognize the sound of her step. He was surprised she was awake, usually she would sleep until the late afternoon, forcing Garrett to be quiet until she woke. Her feet hit the top step and she slowly made her way down. Garrett wondered what woke her and dreaded the thought of his absence being the reason she couldn’t sleep. He hoped that him missing from beside her while she slept didn’t prevent her from doing so.

He was impressed that she even got completely dressed this time. She looked somewhat put together, compared to at home when she’d wander around their space with just his shirt covering her underwear with her hair still in knots and her make-up skewed. Now she was in her own clothes, one of his button-ups he’d worn on the ride up covered her tank top. Her eyes were clear and her hair was smooth, she had put effort into not letting her family know what had happened the night before. When she reached the landing of the steps, she turned, seeing Garrett immediately and smiling. He couldn’t even bite back his own smile.

“I was looking for you.” Her smile grew as she pushed her hair behind her ear. “Is this where you ran off to?”

The awkwardness hadn’t gone away. He still could barely look her in the eyes. The heat still rose up his neck, covering the tops of his ears, and across his cheeks. Garrett could see the hickeys he left on her neck. He’d forgotten about them in the time he’d been playing videos, but the minute she stepped downstairs and the saw her bare neck, Garrett turned red and snuck down in the couch more. Holly picked up on it too then, her mood changing quickly.

“I was…uh—j-just helping Tyler w-with the game.” He stuttered out, staring at the screen trying to seem completely distracted from her.

There was tension too. It was thick and heavy, Holly’s glare seemed to dig at Garrett. He knew it was about him leaving her. He wanted her to forget that or to just undo it completely. All afternoon, he’d been trying to come up with some excuse for it. More than once, he was close to just going back to her and curling up beside her, allowing his conscience to eat him. That would have been better than this. She seemed quite angry.

Tyler coughed, trying to break her stare at him and his stare on the video game. Setting the controller on the table, he took their silence as the opportunity to talk to both of them, telling a few brief stories and jokes. Holly’s glare stayed on Garrett, until she got sick of her brother’s rambling and shot him the same look, shutting him up immediately. He tried at least, making the only attempt at interrupting whatever tension was between them.

“Uh, Holly.” He mumbled, avoiding her eyes as they shit from Garrett to him. “Mom’s in the kitchen. She was looking for you when she got home.”

Holly’s eyebrows furrowed, her lips tightening into a serious frown. “Why?”

Tyler shrugged at her, turning again to see the TV, acting as though he and Garrett were neck-in-neck in a race or battle. Garrett tried to look uninterested, sharing a few brief words with Tyler before unpausing the game and trying to finish the battle. He saw her turn slowly, disappointed they hadn’t exchanged anymore words and take a few steps towards the kitchen. It was like the spots on her neck spoke to him, reminding him of their presence and location. He pressed the center button quickly, tossing the controller down in his seat as he moved frantically in her direction. “Holly, wait.”

Hearing him say her name caused her to stop, he didn’t even need to bother with the second half of the statement. She turned in his direction, a smile covering the location where the frown was, assuming that he was simply going to comfort her the way she wished he had been all afternoon. Garrett didn’t come over and wrap his arms around her or press a kiss to her forehead, instead he reached for her arm and pulled her into the hallway connecting the kitchen to the living room.

When he had her attention completely and was standing far enough away from the entrance to the kitchen, he looked at her. They were silent for a few moments, confusion covering Holly’s face as she stared at him. This stare was more driven by curiosity then anger then, her eyes soft and lips still in a small arch. “Gar?” She whispered. He had her back to the wall, his fingers still around her arm, keeping her in place.

He still was silent for a few moments. “Your hair looks better down.” He couldn’t look at her when he said it, his whole body focused on not letting the blush rise up his neck and over his cheeks. “You should…uh, wear it down.”

Holly was more confused and he stayed silent. There was nothing in his face, no frown or smile for her to interpret or a simple gesture for her to scrutinize. He was completely blank. “What are you talking about?”

A groan escaped his lips. “God, Holly, at least try and fucking cover your neck.” He growled, frustrated he had to be so blunt about it.

It took her a few seconds, her eyes tracing his face and eyes. He felt hot, his fingertips burning touching her skin. When she realized what he was referring to instead of a blush rising to her cheeks subtly or her hand quickly covering the dark marks, she smirked at him. “Hide what, Gar?”

And the minute her smirk turned into a toothy grin, he released his hand from her arm, looking back at the entrance of the living room. Without even bothering with a response, he walked back out of the hallway through the same door they came in through. Her grin stayed as she touched her neck, remembering the events of the night before.

Garrett went back to the couch, trying to look indifferent as Tyler’s gaze followed him. When he reached for the controller Tyler tried to ask him about her and what happened but Garrett simply brushed him off, asking to start the game instead. He was embarrassed. It was his fault she had them, because he didn’t have enough self-control to stop it. Now she was the one with the evidence of it on her neck. If they were home, he knew it would be different. The guys would understand more than her parents would. He wouldn’t have to be so ashamed and upset with himself. But here, he had a judging audience, one he was already trying to make a good impression on so the marks on her neck certainly weren’t helping.

He imagined kissing her or leaving hickeys on her after they were together. Then it would be acceptable. The proof would be on her neck and he wouldn’t have to be ashamed. He wouldn’t have to push her away and tell her to cover them. It would be something he could be more proud of and could actually acknowledge. The worst part was he could still taste her and feel her. His frustration only made the feelings worse, only made him want her more. And Holly’s attitude towards it all, whether she was aware or not, made him want to go back. He knew it was wrong, that kissing her when they were both drunk had put this awkward hole in their friendship, but he wanted to go back. He still wanted to hold her and touch her, he still wanted her teasing him and kissing him, it was nice.

The video game continued except their winning streak didn’t. Garret kept hitting the wrong button sequence and going in the wrong direction. Tyler would groan each time he’d lose a life or fire his weapon and miss. He couldn’t get focused, distracted by the thought of the night before again. The games were supposed to be his relief and help his find solace to all the tormenting she’d done. Usually him being so upset helped his winning, but it didn’t now. After they lost again, Tyler got frustrated and dropped the controller into the cushion. “Man, if you could just, like focus—“

He was interrupted by Holly’s footsteps back into the room. Garrett’s attention immediately went to her, losing all desire to listen to Tyler or play the game. He’d never seen her so composed the day after she was out drinking. She wasn’t groaning and complaining, shielding her eyes from any light that was in the room. The only thing that was normal of her hangover that she did then, was when she dropped down onto the couch with him, she curled into him more than normal. Clinging to him, she breathed in deeply, closing her eyes. He wanted to ask her how she was but he couldn’t get the words for it.

“So what’d Mom want?” Tyler asked, watching the screen as he, yet again, set up the game to play again with Garrett. “Did she ask for the usual play-by-play of last night?”

It took Holly a few seconds to reply as she toyed with the plastic buttons on Garrett’s shirt. “Yeah,” Her voice was soft and sleepy, “Plus the whole ‘I know you think you are capable of anything, but you’re not invincible” speech.” She curled into him more, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head against his reclined torso.

Neither replied to her, both suddenly distracted by the game. It started out better then before, but anytime Holly moved against him, he’d lose focus and end up in the wrong direction or accidentally changing his weapon. When her fingers played with the hem or his shirt, he ended up shooting at one of his teammates instead of the zombies and when she rested her legs over his, he threw his last grenade in the wrong direction.

Finally, when her leg brushed over his lap, reminding him of the night before and her straddling him, he accidentally led his character to jump off the roof, ending the round for the two. Tyler groaned again, hitting his head against the back of the couch. “C’mon, seriously Garrett.”

Her head moved to see the screen, watching the flickering animation of his character falling again in an instant replay. Garrett just hoped she wouldn’t put it together, that her gestures were making him lose the game. A blush spread over his cheeks when she glanced up at him after, smiling. “You’re good at this game at home.”

He forced out a small laugh, looking away from her to the screen again. “Uh, sorry, I dunno why I keep losing.” He tried, then looking at Tyler with a shrug. “Wanna try again?”

“We’ve done this three times already,” Tyler shook his head. “No, I don’t wanna try again if you’re just gonna keep doing that.”

Before he could speak, Holly moved suddenly, watching her brother. “Lemme try.” She smiled. “I’m really good.”

“You don’t even know how play, Holly.” Garrett scoffed. “You’ll suck.”

Tyler laughed then, looking from him to her. “She can’t be any worse than you. Let her try.”

Garrett handed her the controller as she sat up, her hands moving from him to the device. She smiled at him before looking at the screen as Tyler set it up again. He spoke to her quickly, never looking their direction as he did. He told her how to play, what buttons did what, and the strategy he’d devised with Garrett earlier. She would nod looking from him to the controller, practicing each sequence. Tyler told her the last set, giving her a few seconds to prepare before he’d hit start. Holly licked her lips, looking at Garrett with a smile that reminded him of the night before, sending him into another memory he wished he could forget.