My Favorite Part Was Dying

The two of them walked in silence, Gerard's terrified heart pounding so loudly in his head he was afraid it would give him away. He held his hands out in front of him blindly in the darkness while Dr. Robinson walked confidently beside him.

"It isn't much longer now," Robinson said after a few moments. Although Gerard couldn't see his face, he could practically hear the doctor's smug smile.

Much longer until what? Gerard thought, fear eating away at him. He wished desperately that Mikey were with him. Can you hear me? Please, Mikey. I'm scared. No reassuring voice spoke back to him, no figure appeared. Gerard mustered all the restraint he could just to keep from calling out to his brother, begging him to appear.

The tunnel suddenly ended and Gerard could hear the doctor sliding open a metal-plated door. A dim light flickered into life and illuminated a small, dank room. Dr. Robinson turned to Gerard and gestured for him to enter. Gerard bit his lip and slowly walked into the room, an overwhelming feeling of dread weighing him down. He felt like he was trying to wade through quicksand but was only managing to sink deeper and deeper. He strained his eyes, trying to see into the corners of the room that were still hidden in darkness.

His eyes finally adjusted and he took in the sight of the room. A metal slab sat in the middle of it, and the walls were lined with what looked like old-fashioned electric switches, each one the size of Gerard's fist. The cold silence was palpable and Gerard hated it. He was so terrified of what was coming next and he knew that he had absolutely no control over the situation. Finally Robinson spoke.

"So, Gerard, do you know what this room was?" The question was dripping with menace. Gerard didn't know what he should say.

"Um, n-no," he faltered, his words barely audible.

"This room was used for electroshock therapy. Very primitive in those days. We've come a long way." Dr. Robinson spoke slowly, savoring each word and the effect it had on Gerard.

"Oh." It came out like a whimper. Gerard gulped and looked up into Robinson's face, trying to read it. The man's eyes were blazing with Gerard didn't want to know what. He quickly looked away, hugging himself as if his arms could create a protective shield.

"Do you know why I brought you here, Gerard?" The way Robinson said his name made Gerard's stomach clench. He slowly shook his head and glanced up into Robinson's eyes once more.

"I brought you here so you could understand that you're safe --"

"What?!" Gerard said before he could stop himself. He was shocked and confused. What the hell does he mean?

"What I'm trying to do is show you just how differently things are run now. We don't use tyranny and intimidation tactics anymore. This room has been out of commission for a very long time."

Gerard could barely contain himself, he was so disgusted the blatant lies he was being fed. But he held his tongue and tried to keep his face free of expression. He didn't want to give Robinson the satisfaction of seeing the effect his head games were having on Gerard.

"I'm kind of tired. Can I go back to my room now?" Gerard asked hesitantly. Dr. Robinson studied Gerard for a moment. Finally he nodded, turning out the weak light and plunging them in complete darkness. Gerard followed the doctor out of the room and heard the loud clank of the door as Robinson shut it behind them. Gerard followed the sound of the doctor's footsteps in the pitch blackness. Every inch of his skin was crawling, begging to get out of the tunnel and away from the sadistic man he was walking behind.

They finally emerged from the passageway and into Dr. Robinson's office. Robinson pulled the bookcase back into place and dismissed Gerard. He exited the room without a sound and was escorted back to his room by Jacob who towered over him in his white nurse's uniform.

"How'd it go?" he asked gently as they made their way to Gerard's room. Gerard shook his head wordlessly and suppressed a shudder.

"He showed you the room, didn't he?" Jacob asked knowingly. Gerard nodded silently just as they reached his room.

"I'm sorry, kid," Jacob murmured as he ushered Gerard into his room. Gerard gave a half-nod, appreciating the compassion Jacob exhibited. They both sighed as the door closed. Gerard heard the lock click and Jacob's footsteps growing faint.

A long strangled sob escaped his lips and he sat down on the bed before he fell to the ground. The fear still flowing through him made his whole body shake. He hugged himself again, trying to calm down.

God, Mikey, what am I gonna do?