Sophie

17

Avery was waiting for me, so I had to hurry and buy what vegetables I could. He wasn’t feeling too well. The old man could hardly get off the bed without my assistance now.

“Sorry,” I muttered as I bumped into someone’s shoulder.

“It’s fine,” the person mumbled. I looked up briefly, locking onto a pair of fantastic gray eyes. The person smiled. “Have a good day, miss,” he said politely. He tipped his hat casually and, just as quickly as he appeared, melted back into the crowd.

I smiled and made my way to the vegetable stand. “Enough for this much,” I said as I handed Margaret a bit of money I earned from housekeeping.

“G’day, Sophie,” she said cheerfully as she handed me what was available. “How’s old Avery, eh?”

I sighed. “He’s not getting any better, maybe even worse.”

“Oh, I’m sure he’ll liven up with your pretty face watching over him every day ‘n night,” she replied as she threw a tomato into my basket.

I smiled and thanked her, then made my way back home down the cobblestone streets.

When I got there, I found the door swinging open and a bristly man waiting inside. “Who are you?” I asked timidly.

He peered at me suspiciously, his eyes narrowing and the inner corner of his eyebrows pulling together. “I’m Mr. Logger’s son. Who are you?”

My eyes widened. “Why, Avery never told me he had a son.”

The man scoffed. “Of course he wouldn’t,” he mumbled.

“Why are you here?”

“To pick up my will and my inheritance,” he answered gravely.

“Oh, but A—Mr. Logger’s not d-dead yet,” I stuttered.

The man sighed. “It’s quite obvious, is it not, miss?” he said sadly.

“But—,” I was cut off by a groan from Avery’s room.

“Sophie,” he called out. “Is that you?” I watched Avery’s son carefully and then scuttled into Avery’s room. “Sophie?”

“Yes, Avery?” I said softly.

His eyes were closed and ringed with puffy black. With an extreme effort he pulled them open, groaning as he turned to me. I stared worriedly into his red eyes. “Did you meet my son out there?” he asked in a raspy voice.

“Yes, I did.”

Avery lifted his hand, though the very effort was enough to make his face cringe and his breathing quicken. I grabbed at his hand and he immediately let it limp. “Now, love, you and I both now that I won’t be lasting too long…”

“Oh, no Avery. You’ll be fine! I’ll nurse you back to health,” I said, my voice an octave higher than it should have been.

He chuckled lightly, his rugged voice catching in his throat and setting him off in a spasm of coughs. “I’m so happy that I could spend the last of my days with you.”

“Don’t say that, Avery. You can live even longer if you stay hopeful,” I argued, my eyes wetting slightly.

“It’s almost my time, but I promise you, I won’t fall for any other angel,” he teased. He smiled, his blue lips quivering slightly. “But that is not why I called you here, dear,” his voice dropped.

“Sophie, darling, I want you to marry Nicholas,” he whispered.

“Nicholas?” I ask.

“Yes, my son. He won’t take it too kindly if I just give everything to you, but Nicholas will love you and treat you well. I’ve already told him, but I wanted to tell you myself because I knew you wouldn’t like it.”

“Oh, I don’t like it all!” I cried. His eyes blurred and I panicked as he frowned sadly. I felt a teardrop fall and watched as it landed on his nose. “But I’ll marry him. I promise,” I ended. He sniffled and smiled. I held onto his hands as he tightened his clutch on them.

“Are we done?” Nicholas asked as he stepped into the room. I looked up at his muscular figure and nodded. When I looked back, Avery had left the world and forgotten to take me with him.

-
-

20

Nicholas swaggered into the room, his footing tipsy and a bottle of hard beer in his hands. “Nicholas,” I said softly, afraid to provoke him. “Come, would you like to go to bed?”

“No, woman!” he yelled. I clasped a hand over my ears and scooted away. He threw down his bottle and I screamed as it shattered. For some reason, I could never stop screaming when he was angry. He frightened me so much. Even worse than Miss Walter because he was so much stronger. I had grown soft over the years. Besides, he like it when I screamed. I could escape with lesser bruises than if I tried to stay strong.

“Wife,” he slurred, “come here.” I shook my head and pressed myself against the wall. “You dare to disobey me!” The house shook as he shouted angrily. I tried to move away, but he easily jumped on me. I crumpled under his weight.

“Please, please. I-I will do whatever it is you say,” I whimpered. My voice shook and tears ran down the side of my face.

He kissed my cheek tenderly. “Really?” he asked. I tried not to gag as his liquor-filled breath rained over my face.

“Yes.” And he smiled, like a wolf that had finally caught his rabbit prey.

“Good.” I turned my face away, ashamed of myself.

“Be gentle,” I murmured in fear.

-
-

23

I sat by the window, staring blankly at the flowers and the young lady servant pruning the bushes. She glanced at me and hurriedly looked away. “Girl,” I called out, “come here.”

She stopped and looked at me fearfully, and then set down her clippers and slowly walked up to me. “Y-yes, Miss?” she asked.

I ran over her heaving breasts and her young, rosy cheeks and said, “Where were you last night?”

Her eyes widened and her fists clenched as she answered in a tight voice, “I was in the quarters, Ma’am.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “Were you?”

She wrung her hands quite obviously and shakily answered, “Yes.”

“Sophie.” We both jumped as Nicholas walked onto the porch, swinging the door shut behind him. He looked at the maid, who hung her head with pursed lips and frightened eyes, and then back at me. “Why were you talking to her?” he accused.

“I was only asking her if I could have some of the roses for a bouquet,” I answered easily, although my tongue had started to dry as I stared at his handsome face. I fought to keep my eyes steady.

“But there are no roses,” he said as he gazed over the yard. I blinked as I too searched the yard.

“Why, yes,” I said softly, fear curling into my veins.

“Do not question the servants,” he hissed through clenched teeth. I pulled myself into the wicker chair, my eyes widening. He lurched towards me and grabbed my arm. The maid screamed and leapt back as Nicholas dragged me back into the house.

He flung me onto the floor and I fought to crawl away from him. My dress tore as he gripped it and pulled me back. He punched my face and I screamed as he began to batter my body.

“Sir, please,” Thomas, our butler, said as he entered the room. He tried to stay clear of Nicholas’s path, though. “Stop or the neighbors will hear,” he pleaded.

Nicholas jumped up and pushed him. He looked at me with a terrifying gaze and I cowered under his anger. “Filthy wench,” he muttered. Thomas watched as Nicholas stomped away, and then ran to my side.

“Miss,” he whispered sadly. I forced my face into my hands and began to cry. “Oh, Miss,” Thomas soothed.

-
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24

I looked at my gloved hands resting in my lap and shuddered. “Be still, wife,” Nicholas remarked as he stared out the window. Over the years he had grown steadily colder towards me. “We are here.” Johnson leapt off his horse and pulled the door open for us. I followed steadily behind Nicholas.

He flashed a smile as we entered the building. “Ah, Nicholas!” a voice ringed through the admiring crowds. “My friend!”

Nicholas smiled even wider as his outstretched arms wrapped around the neck of Caleb A. Luke, a close friend of his and a wonderfully wealthy banker. I hid behind Nicholas’s wide shoulders.

“Sophie!” Caleb called out. I scurried to Nicholas’s side and smiled, so pleased was I to escape torture.

“Good evening, Mr. Luke,” I said softly.

He laughed. “Eh heh, still despicably proper, aren’t you?” he asked warmly. I nodded shyly.

“Well,” he turned to Nicholas. “Nicholas, my friend, why don’t we leave the woman behind to their silly squandering—,” at this Mrs. Luke batted his shoulder playfully, “—and drink like men do, eh?” Nicholas laughed heartily and readily agreed.

“Sophie!” Mrs. Luke, or Annabelle, called out. She slipped her thin arm into my own and said, “Well, let us go then!” She smiled cheerfully and I couldn’t help but join her in her happiness.

“Annabelle,” I whispered softly, “may I go and have some fresh air? I’ll meet you later in the waiting room.”

“Oh, of course, dear. I’ll be there.” She sped off towards the waiting room and twenty more of her endless line of friends while I carried my claustrophobic self away from the tightly packed bodies.

I gulped in the air as I stood out on the balcony, sighing as I leaned against the railing.

“Hello there, Miss,” a soothing voice said. I turned and was caught by a pair of soft, fantastic gray eyes.

“Hello,” I replied.

The man slowly came up to me, his smile widening with every step. “You do look familiar, Ma’am.”

“Yes, so do you,” I said as I blushed. I turned away and hid my face.

“I am Henry.”

I looked over my shoulder and peered down at his large, waiting hands. “Sophie,” I answered gently. Carefully, I slid my hand into his own and gasped as he wrapped it comfortably around mine.

And in that instant, it seemed as if the world had never happened and I was once again a happy babe, smiling at my sad father and giggling at my beautiful mother. It felt as if every horrible and miserable moment in my life had slipped away and all that remained was Elaina smiling and laughing as she flounced through the streets with a piece of lone bread in her hands.

“Miss Sophie, are you all right?” I quickly pulled my hands out and wiped my eyes. I hadn’t noticed that I’d been crying.

“Yes,” I answered tearfully, “I’m quite fine, really.”

He smiled and tucked his hands into his coat pocket. “Wonderful night, is it not?” he asked.

I nodded and stood beside him, looking over the flowers and gardens. “Sometimes, I wish every night was like this,” I said quietly.

“Yes, so do I.” I looked through the corner of his eyes and saw him gazing at me solemnly.

“Oh, please don’t,” I whispered as I shielded my face from him with my eyes. “You mustn’t look at me like that.”

“Why, why not?” he asked, his voice tight and clenched. He grabbed my wrists and I choked down a scream. “You and I both know,” he whispered. I stared into his eyes and nodded.

“I do know.”

“Sophie, is that you?” I pulled my hand quickly out of his grasp and turned to see Nicholas step out onto the balcony. “What are you doing?”

“I needed some fresh air,” I explained. “You know how I feel in such tight places.”

“Yes,” he said suspiciously as he looked at Henry.

“Ah, this is Henry, perhaps you know him?” I asked.

Nicholas nodded. “Yes, he is Mr. Raton’s personal carpenter.”

I turned to Henry. “Ah, really? I must see your workmanship some time.”

“Come, Annabelle is waiting for you,” Nicholas cut in before Henry could answer. Before I could say anything more, Nicholas dragged me back into the room bustling with elegant ladies and gorgeous men. Nicholas glared at me, his face pinched and angry.

-
-

I sat on the balcony and knitted quietly. “Sophie,” Nicholas called out.

“Yes, dear?”

“Mr. Raton will be coming soon. Could you tell him to meet me in the waiting room?” he shouted from inside the house.

“Of course!”

A few minutes later, I heard wheels run down the gravel path and looked up expectantly as, indeed, Mr. Raton drove up to our house. His driver pulled the door open for him and I stood up to welcome him. “Mr. Raton,” I said as happily as I could, “come, Nicholas is waiting for you in the waiting room.”

He smiled and began to walk towards me when another man hopped out of the carriage. “Hurry now, Henry,” Mr. Raton called over his shoulder.

“Yes, Sir,” Henry answered as he buttoned his coat. He slowed in his tracks when he looked up and found me waiting quietly. I gathered Mr. Raton into my arms, all the while looking at Henry, and beckoned him in. As I followed behind him, I put a finger up to my lips at Henry and he nodded understandingly.

“Darling, Mr. Raton is here with his carpenter,” I said as I ushered the two visitors into the guest room. Nicholas stood up and held out his hands.

“Mr. Raton, I am so pleased that you would lend your own carpenter for this job,” Nicholas said with a tight smile.

“Why, of course, Mr. Logger, we must have the best for you, and Henry here is the best,” Mr. Raton answered eagerly.

They sat down together and exchanged quick words while I went into the kitchen to bring the tea.

“Sophie,” a voice hummed. I turned around swiftly.

“Oh, Henry.” He reached out to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “No, no,” I said as I pushed him away, “we mustn’t do anything. My husband will see.”

“Shush, don’t worry. He will never know.” And with that thought in mind, I willingly let him place his soft lips on mine.

-
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26

“What is this!” My body shook as I struggled to cover myself with the thin blanket. Beside me, Henry hugged me shamelessly, glaring intently at Nicholas.

“N-nicholas, I-I—,”

“Be quiet!” Nicholas roared. He grabbed the blanket and I screamed as he exposed our naked bodies. “You cheated on me, dirty bitch!" He lunged towards us and grabbed at my hair.

Henry lashed out and shouted, “Leave her be!” Nicholas stumbled back and lost his grip on my hair. I pulled the blanket to me and wrapped it around my body. Suddenly, Nicholas lurched forward and wrapped his strong, thick fingers around Henry’s neck.

I screamed, “Stop! Stop!” Henry kicked out with his legs, but he was no match for Nicholas’s ferocious strength. The door swung open and Thomas ran into the war.

“Master! Master, I beg of you!” he cried as he grabbed Nicholas’s shirt. Ignoring Thomas’s barely there bantering, Nicholas gripped Henry’s throat tighter than ever until, finally, Henry’s body went limp and slid to the floor.

“Henry, oh, Henry,” I wept as I pulled the blanket around me. His eyes had rolled back and displayed his whites. “You sick bastard!” I screamed at Nicholas. His arm darted forward and I found myself screaming into the ground as Nicholas beat me with his massive fists.

“Stop, Sir, stop!” Thomas yelled desperately. I felt nothing, though, for Henry had forgotten to give me back my heart.

-
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48

I think that, up till now, I have never regretted loving Henry although he died, for he was one of the few in my life who showed me true love. But now, as I sit here staring at the gray ceiling, I wonder, was it worth it?

Was it worth Nicholas dying in jail and my mother burning to death for such a small thing as a letter? Was Elaina’s life worth less than my own?

I wonder why God had not just let me die first before all of them. Why now, when I have nothing but for a loyal butler to serve my aid. I will not survive this sickness, I can feel it, for I have given up hope on life. The last years have melted away like snow. Years of sitting alone in my room, crippled to the end, separated from society because, truth be told, I have become afraid of people. And never crying, for I have used up all the tears I had left.

And now, I will be free.