Shot of Vodka, Shot of Pain

"Pagan....Pagan....." His voice was infiltratig my dreams. I tried to pull the covers over my face and go back to sleep but he pulled them down.

"I don't wanna," I muttered. I pulled the covers up over my face and once again he pulled them down. He was a persistant fellow.

"Just open your eyes," he said.

"Fine," I grumbled and peeked one eye open.

"SURPRISE!" came a chorus of voices and a shower of confetti rained down on me.

"Oh god. Not again," I said and rolled over trying to hide my red face. Every year on our birthdays, we decided to surprise each other in the mornings and go out for breakfast. After last night I forgot that when I woke in the morning Danica and Morgan would be standing over me ready to drag me out. Of course now the group had grown larger with Braxton and Craig joining the ranks as signifigant others.

"Get your ass up girly," Morgan said and smacked my butt.

"All right you four, leave the girl to getting moving and dressed. No shower though," Jesse said and corralled them out of the room. When they were gone he climbed in and snuggled down with me.

"I'm seriously doubting my love for you since you let them inside," I said.

"They snuck in through the back while Craig and Braxton distracted me from the front. I apologize love," he said and kissed me on the tip of my nose.

We all enjoyed a filling breakfast together before everyone sneaked off to work. Even though Jesse hated leaving me, I told him to go help his friend who was having a difficult time with his breakup. I was left alone for the afternoon with nothing to do since I took the day off from work. I went shopping for a while before rumbly in my tumbly started. I found myself by that familiar fountain where Jesse and I shared our near miss kiss. Just down the street was the restuarant where we ate when my "date" stood me up. I sighed in rememberance of the fond memories when I spotted someone down the street.

"Pagan!" Jimmy yelled when he saw me. He said goodbye to the people he was talking to and jogged my way.

"Well Jimmy, long time no see," I said and gave him a quick hug.

"All by yourself on this lovely day?" he asked.

"Jesse's with a friend who needed him and I decided that while he's away, the kitten shall play," I said and held up the massive amount of bags that were weighing down my arms.

"Tell you what, why don't you go put those bags in your car and I'll treat you to a birthday lunch," he said.

"You remembered it's my birthday?" I asked in amazement.

"Not going to lie, I tend to remember a lot of random details. I recall your 17th birthday out by the lake. You wore this purple dress that matched the purple highlights in your hair. Someone brought a keg and by midnight you were drunk off your gourd and Nadine had to hold your hair back as you puked up the burgers we grilled," he said.

My memories of that night were few and far between due to one to many keg stands my boyfriend at the time, Russ, talked me into. They seemed to wash away from my brain on a river of beer foam. For months when I smelled beer my stomach would twist into knots and I'd be close to dry heaving. Russ was fond of this certain brand and even when I overcame my extreme nausea, the taste of beer on his tongue when he kissed me forced our breakup. Mainly because it always tasted like beer. It wasn't like Jesse's kiss. Once in a while the taste lingered on his tongue, but I could think back to when he tasted like gummi dinosaurs, the coffee he made me taste earlier, or just sweet nothing.

I was dazing off, staring into space. I hoped that Jimmy thought I was just trying to recall the memories stored deep in my brain and not dreaming about the taste of Jesse's mouth. It would kind of hard to explain that one.

"That explains my hatred for beer. How about I meet you at Delminico's in five minutes?" I said.

"Sounds great," he said and slipped away.

I tossed my bags into the car and slowly walked back to the plaza. When I walked into the deli, the air conditioning greeted me and my skin immediatly ran for cover, forming goosebumps on my exposed flesh. Jimmy waved me a table near the window. For almost two hours we talked about old times, reliving crazy memories that I thought were long gone from my brain. The food was delicious and so was the brownie topped with ice cream that he bought me. It was nice catching up with an old friend. We finally got around to present time and I told him about how Jesse and I had met. I learned how he bought the bar and his life since high school but there was one little smidgen of gossip I was missing.

"So whatever happend to Mrs. Rachel O'Hannan? You know she scribbled that onto her notebook countless times," I said. The words brought on a cringe from him.

"Things turned sour after high school and we started college. Not very far into our sophomore year, we called it quits. No big loss though there has not been a potential Mrs. O'Hannan in my life since then," he said.

"Aw sorry Jimmy. I was rooting for you two," I said and sneaked a quick peek at my watch.

"Got to leave?" he asked.

"Yeah Jesse should be coming home soon and I've got to get ready for whatever crazy thing he has lined up for tonight," I said.

"Well if you have time, stop by the bar. I'll make sure you get a good birthday shot," he said.

"I'll try but with Jesse, I never know what he has up his sleeve. Which makes me love him and want to kill him more," I said.

I said farewell to him and drove back to my house to find Jesse's driveway empty, no red truck covering up the oil stain.

"Pefect time for some me time," I said to no one in particular.

I ran into my house and scribbled a note, taping it to the mirror in the foyer and ran over to his house. He had a jacuzzi tub that I was not going to let it go to waste. I drew a steaming hot bath complete with bubbles, oils, and fragrance that he was going to kill me for later, lit some candels and incense and slid into the water. I could feel my muscles just ooze as they relaxed. I slathered on a face mask and laid my head back on the headrest. I relished moments like these because of the hectic life I lead. Any time that I could be a girl and pamper myself, I take the opprotunity. The sense of carpe diem ran strong through my veins. About ten minutes in I heard the sounds of Jesse arriving home. I thought about getting out of the tub but I figured we could have so much more fun in it so I stayed, waiting for his heavy footsteps to come up the stairs.

"Pagan?" he yelled.

"Up here!" I screamed back. His footsteps trodded gently up the stairs, a few times I heard him stop and cuss at himself. I was uncretain what was going on. Usually he plows up the stairs like a heard of elephants even when he's in no hurry.

"Is that the tub I hear?" he asked from the hallway. I was facing the door but since he kept the light off, I could barely see any shadow of movement.

"Of course," I said. He laughed and I heard a strange noise. It was like a match being struck. Soon something was sizzling. I saw his bare foot sneak through the crack in the door and slowly shoved it open. In his hands was a small round cake with a sparkler for a candle. He started singing that familiar tune everyone hears on their birthday as he wobbled to the edge of the tub. Clearly balancing an object in his hands that was on fire was not his forte.

"Jesse! It's so cute!" I said and leaned forward for a kiss after I blew out the sparkler. But when he saw my face, he balked.

"Looks like you've already had your cake and ate it too. Except you've got a little something.... everywhere," he said.

I plugged my nose and dropped my head below the water, scrubbing off the mask until I couldn't hold my breath anymore. I surfaced gasping for air and he patted my face with a towel.

"Better?" I asked.

"Much," he said and kissed me. Finally I got what I wanted. And this kissed tasted like sweet nothing.