Unmasking My Heart

I looked around the dark room that I was currently standing in and practically shook with fear.

Where was I?

How did I get here?

And why did I have the overwhelming feeling that someone was watching me?

“Hello?!” I called out into the darkness. No one answered and that just intensified my fear. If someone was there I had no way of knowing it. I couldn’t even see my own hand in front of my face, let alone a person across the room.

“If anyone’s there say something!” I meant to sound strong and powerful but only managed weak and fragile. I slowly started to back up, hoping that if I could find the wall that it would lead to a door. After only a few steps I did hit something, but when a deep chuckle reached my ears, I knew it wasn’t a wall.

“Hello Darling,” his voice was soft and musical but it did nothing to calm me.

I screamed and turned to face the man that had spoken, but it was too dark to see anything. Without thinking I reached out to where he had been standing to find nothing but air.

“He was there,” I whispered, trying to convince myself that I wasn’t going crazy. At this point I was starting to think I was.

“I was there,” came the same beautiful voice from beside me. He was standing so close that I could feel his breath on the side of my neck. “I moved.”

“Who are you?” I asked, my voice quivering with the strain to keep from screaming.

“I have no name,” he whispered, “but I am known by many.” I heard him move to stand behind me and I shuddered when a hand rested on my shoulder.

“I won’t hurt you,” he promised and for some reason that I could not explain, I believed him.

“What am I doing here?” I asked and I heard him sigh before walking away.

“You do not ask the questions,” he said and his voice seemed to come from every corner of the room at once. “You answer them.” I was confused by what he was saying. How could he ask me to answer questions? I knew nothing of what was happening to me.

“I can’t answer anyone if I myself have questions without answers” I countered and I knew I had made him smile even though all I saw was darkness.

“True,” he said laughing, “but that is the beauty of it, you have the answers to your questions. It’s only a matter of looking for them.” I heard his faint footsteps stop about a hundred feet in front of me and with a loud pop the room was filled with light. There were people everywhere, all wearing masks and dancing to a song I did not hear for several seconds.

I noticed that my clothes immediately felt heavier and I looked down to find myself in an outlandish Victorian gown. Nothing made sense and when I raised my gaze I found the man I had been speaking to standing in front of me.

He was strange to look at in the light, it was almost as if he had no true form and was simply shifting between several in a matter of milliseconds.

“What is this?” I asked, not caring that he told me I wasn’t to ask questions.

“This,” he said as a tray with a cover appeared in his hands, “is your mind.” He lifted the tray’s lid and sitting on the flat surface was an old, cracked mask; that looked older that time itself. The man nodded to it and I reached to take it from resting spot but he grabbed my wrist to stop me.

“Be careful Darling, your mask is breaking.” There was definitely a double meaning to his words; like the mask represented something more than a piece of strange material. Slowly I picked it up and just stared at it.

“You never thought your heart would look like that did you?” He asked as the tray disappeared. It took me a second to comprehend what he had said but when I did I gripped the mask even tighter and looked up at him.

“What do you mean by ‘my heart’?” I asked. This was a mask, a part of a costume, nothing more. He took the item of interest from my hands and held it up to my face before turning me around to tie the ribbons in order to keep it in place.

“I mean exactly what I said,” he whispered in my ear. “This is your mind and it’s slowly breaking your heart.” He grabbed my hand and twirled me around like a top before resting his second hand on my waist.

“Do you want to leave?” he asked as he started to lead me into a dance I had never before attempted. “You can, you know.” We danced in between the other couples on the dance floor and I didn’t even feel my feet as they moved along with his.

“Leave, you mean?” I asked, hoping I had heard him right. He smirked and nodded before tipping me backwards and leaning down until our faces were just centimeters apart.

“Of course, I can not keep you here against your will.” I sighed and allowed him to pull me back to an upright position, a huge smile plastered on my face.

“Then I want to go,” I said sternly. “I want to go home.” The man said nothing, but released an evil sounding laugh as he wisped me across the now empty dance floor. I didn’t know where the other couples had gone. One minute they were there and the next they had disappeared.

“Did you really think it would be that easy?” He asked as if it was the craziest thing he had ever heard. “You can leave after you answer the most important question of all.” I groaned and tried to stop dancing, but for some reason I wasn’t able to.

“What’s going on?” I asked as I started to panic again. Something was wrong; I could feel it in every fiber of my being.

“Nothing,” he said sweetly. “Just enjoy it. This is supposed to be fun.” It didn’t seem like it to me; actually I would have described it as torture.

“Let me go,” I ordered but my arms seemed to be frozen in place. Making it impossible for me to pull away from him.

“I’ll let you go,” he promised. “Just answer this.” He bent his head lower until his lips were practically touching my ear. “Who are you?”

“Courtney Anderson,” I said immediately, but I instead of stopping, I started to dance faster.

“Wrong,” he told me. “Who are you?” Hearing the question again only deepened my confusion. I had told him my name, what did he want?

“I’m a rebellious teenager,” nothing else came to mind. That was my only answer.

“No,” he chuckled as we started dancing faster still. “Who are you?” He twirled me around the room faster, and faster, until I had to close my eyes in order to keep from getting dizzy.

“Who are you!” he repeated loudly this time. Almost as if he was angry at me for not understanding the question.

“I-um-I,” I couldn’t form a full sentence; everything that went through my mind didn’t seem to be an answer he’d accept.

“Answer me, Courtney!” He yelled loudly “Tell me who you are!” The music was getting louder by the second and in a desperate attempt to make everything stop, I screamed out the only thing my voice would allow me to say.

“I don’t know!” The music suddenly ceased while the man and I stilled.

“That’ll do, Darling” he said and pushed me away. I fell backwards but didn’t hit the hard marble floor, instead I found myself sitting up in my soft and plushy bed. My breath was coming in shallow gasps and I immediately reached for my alarm clock which was buzzing loudly.

“It was just a dream,” I told myself and slowly got out of bed in order to get ready for school. Just as I was about to open my dresser drawer I noticed a mask, just like the one in my dream, only newer, and a note sitting on the polished wood.

“No,” I whispered as I took the note and undid the intricate folds.

Don’t let your mind mask your heart. Because in your mind, you will never know who you are, only your heart can tell you that. Remember this, Courtney, because I will be back and will once again ask “Who are you?”And I expect a real answer this time.