Head on Collision

Jacks POV
Wednesday.
Do you know how annoying it is when the guy who says he loves you seems to be avoiding you? Do you know how lousy you feel when they ignore you? I do. Alex wasn’t talking to me in classes, wasn’t sitting with me at lunch, he would respond to my texts nor will he answer or return my phone calls. I had even tried calling his house phone. His mum would answer and tell me that he was showering, or he wasn’t home or he was doing home work. To me it was all fucking bullshit.

If he doesn’t want this, why can’t he just tell me? Why can’t he just say that he’s not interested, that he regrets what we did on the weekend and he wishes that it never happened? Why can’t he just be blunt and truthful? Sure it would hurt if he was to say those things, but it would hurt as much as being completely ignored. It really hurt. I started Monday on such a high, and as the days have wore on, my mood has slowly declined; hitting rock bottom last night when I actually cried. And I don’t mean a little trickle of a tear down my face, no. I wish. This was a curl up in the blankets, bury my face in the pillow and sob my heart out type crying. If I wasn’t so angry and depressed, I would have been embarrassed.

I had a whole speech planned out on how I was going to address this issue. I was going to walk straight up to him and demand to know what the hell was up. If I had to, I would grab his hands, make a scene in front of the crowded hall way maybe even throw him up against the wall in the change room and tickle him until he confessed what was bothering him.

Zack and Rian could tell something was up with me. They hadn’t seen Alex at all at school so they must have thought I was just down because I hadn’t seen him. If only it was that simple. No. Rian told me that Alex hadn’t been in history. I wasn't sure if that was the truth or not, but Rian wouldn’t lie to me. He didn’t sit with us at lunch, so Zack wouldn’t see him and the only girls that we seem to have conversations with on a daily basis are Kara, Rian’s now girlfriend, Alexandra, one of Kara’s friends and Holly. Occasionally they would sit with us at our lunch table. I, of course, have been labeled the antisocial one because i simply won’t talk. What’s there to talk about? Nothing. Alexandra spoke with Zack about sports and stuff, Kara and Rian were sickeningly adorable being all couply and feeding each other the lovely mystery meat. Let me just say, if someone fed me that garbage; id smack them one. But maybe that was just the mood I was in.

Currently we sat at our lunch table, I sat on one of the edges, the seat beside me was empty as was the one across from me. Holly sat in the seat beside the one beside me and Alexandra was next to her on the other side. The seat across from Alexandra was empty, and then there was Rian and Kara. I was alone in the corner of the table. I bet they didn’t even register my existence most of the time.

“Hey guys” I heard Zack’s voice approach the table.

“Hey man,” Rian greeted him; finally tearing his eyes away from Kara.

“I just heard something pretty freaking sweet,” Zack announced.

“What?” Alexandra pushed; sweeping her long blond hair back over her shoulder.

“There’s going to be a battle of the bands competition next March or something,” Zack grinned. “There’s like auditions up until winter break. Plus, the winner gets some sort of record deal or something.”

“Guys! You should totally enter!” Kara piped in. “That would be so cool!”

“Yeah it would!” Holly agreed. I rolled my eyes.

“I know you play bass Zack, I play drums and Jacks a guitarist,” Rian told him. I heard his worried voice. I also love how they just instantly included me. I don’t know if that was a blessing or a curse but maybe that meant I wasn’t invisible after all. “But, we don’t have a singer. You’re not too bad. But like, it’d be better if we had a forth.”

“Alex can sing,” I mumbled quietly; continuing to push the mystery meat from one side of my paper plate to the next.

I instantly felt all five pairs of eyes on me. I carefully and slowly glanced up; making eye contact with Zack first. He sat beside me?

“What?” I asked.

“He can?” Zack and Rian asked together.

“Who can what?”

“Alex can sing?” Zack asked alone this time.

“Uh, yeah,” I nodded slowly; only slightly relieved that my best friends were actually talking to me properly. But then again, I haven’t exactly been much of a conversationalist these past three days. “He has an awesome voice. I heard him singing in the hall like the second day of school.”

“Can you talk him into like, auditioning or something?” Rian asked. “I mean, he’ll say yes right. You two are like, dating or whatever.”

I felt Holly eyes on me. I could also feel a “I told you so” from her coming. She knew that Alex had left her for me. She knew.

“ Yeah. I mean, maybe he can come up with some sort of band name too,” Zack continued. “Apparently, well according to the flier, and those like, metal kids I heard talking about it in the hall, you need one to be in the comp.”

“Really?” Alexandra asked. Her voice was strained; feigning interest. I frowned.

“Yeah,” Zack responded; oblivious to Alexandra’s tone. He kept his eyes one me.

“Okay,” I dropped my eyes from Zack to the table; I felt crest fallen because I didn’t know if I was going to be able to hold up my end of this deal. “I’ll talk to him.”

The table fell back into discussion; Holly, Alexandra and Zack talking about the band comp and Rian and Kara falling back into couple land. Me, on the other hand, sat silently again at my end of the table; secretly wishing for Alex to walk through those doors, take me by the hand and take me away from here.