Head on Collision

Alex’s POV

I slid onto my usual stool in Chemistry; pulling out my homework assignment and text book. I looked over at the door as the rest of my class filed in; some whom I only know from this class smiling at me. I frowned. Why would they be smiling at me? Holly walked in with Jasey and Kara at the back of the group. Jasey wore a sly smile; whereas Holly and Kara both wore worried and annoyed expressions. Kara half smiled at me and I, of course, returned it. Holly slid onto the stool beside me; putting her shoulder bag on the table in front of her.

“Hey,” she greeted me softly.

‘Hey,” I replied. “What’s going on? Kara seems really pissed off, to say the very least.”

“Yeah, she is,” Holly frowned; opening her bag. “So am i.”

“What happened?” I asked. “Did something happen at Kara’s party?”

Holly sighed and tucked her hair behind her ear before turning to face me.

“I um, heard something,” he told me.

‘What?” I asked.

“You aren’t going to like it Lexy,” she whispered.

“Holly. I don’t care,” I rested my hand on top of hers. “Please; just tell me.”

“Look, I don’t know if its true, or what the details are,” she continued. “But, Jasey said it happened and Kara saw them going upstairs and...”

‘Holly, cut to the chase,” I begged her.

“Jack had sex with Jasey at Kara’s birthday party,” she said quickly; looking at the bench.

I felt my heart plummet to the pit of my stomach and fly to my throat in one swift movement. What? Jack; cheated on me? Jack? The guy I am in love with cheated on me? With Jasey? The school slut. What? No. Holly had to be kidding. I slid my hand off of Holly’s and clasped both of my hands together on the table in front of me. I half laughed.

“You’re kidding right?” I said to her.

Holly looked down again; fiddling with the strap of her bag. I felt the smile slip off my face. She wasn’t kidding.

“I wish I was kidding, Alex,” she whispered.

“But, he wouldn’t do this,” I told her; my voice raised. I felt the tears in my eyes as my anger grew. I didn’t want them falling; not here. Not in class. “He loves me. I love him. He, he wouldn’t cheat on me Holly.”

“And I wouldn’t lie to you, Alex,” she breathed. I saw the tears in her eyes too.

I reached up; rubbing my head through my beanie.

“But, I love him,” I choked; biting my lip.

I felt vomit rise in my throat; bile caused by complete disgust of what Jack did to me. Holly rested her hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it off. I stared at the table in front me. I was shocked and completely gutted. Why the fuck would he do this? We’re happy; and even though we are only teenagers, we are in love; at least I thought we were. I swallowed; sending the bile back down my throat. I stood up; stuffing my text book back in my back. I swung it over my shoulder and stormed out of the classroom; brushing past the chemistry professor on the way through the door.

“Alex!” I heard Holly’s voice call behind me.

I ignored her repeated calls; making a beeline for the bathroom with tears rolling down my face. I slammed through the swinging door and walked through to the end toilet. I bent over; clutching the edge of the toilet seat with both hands. I felt the bile rise again; and I emptied the contents of my stomach into the can. I breathed deeply through my nose when I couldn’t vomit anymore. I sat down up against the wall of the bathroom; one knee pulled up and my elbow restring against it. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand before resting my forehead in my palm. I closed my eyes; my body shaking with each individual sob. I felt malice coursing through my veins; an anger towards Jasey and an almost hatred towards Jack. But, as angry as I got, I couldn’t help but still love him.

Jack’s POV

I sat at the usual table in the cafeteria; Zack and Rian sitting across from me. I was waiting for Alex and the girls to come out from chemistry. I had to talk to Alex. I had to tell him what happened and why it happened. I picked at the cuticle of one of my fingernails and kept my eyes fixed on the table in front of me. I felt Rian and Zack’s eyes on me. I wasn’t sure if they were worried glances or confused. But I hadn’t really spoken all day; to anybody. I didn’t speak to Zack in math; I spent English in the sick bay and had skipped gym entirely. I had thought about leaving during my free and waiting for Alex somewhere on the way home but I had kicked my own ass for thinking that. I needed to tell him. I wanted him to hear it from me.

I heard the cafeteria swing door get pushed open and it collided with the wall behind it. I looked up and saw Alex approaching. His face was sour and upset. Fuck. He stormed towards our table and I stood up; approaching him slowly. I stepped around the table, coming to a stopped beside it. Alex threw down his shoulder bag and ripped his beanie from his head. He walked right up to me and I watched as he raised and hand. I felt it collided hard and fast with the side of my face. My cheek stung but I didn’t react. I deserved it.

“Tell me it’s not true,” Alex demanded through clenched teeth; his face close to mine.

I didn’t say anything. Instead choosing to simply look down; ashamed.

“You fucking bastard,” he said.

I heard the anger in his voice. I didn’t blame him; but this wasn’t entirely my fault. I don’t even remember what went down with Jasey.

“Lex,” I started; my voice sounding pathetic. “At least let me...”

“What?” Alex asked. “Explain?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t want to hear your shit, Jack,” he jeered.

Alex turned to walk away from me. I wasn’t done. I wanted him to listen to me. I grabbed his arm to stop him. Alex spun around; his fist swinging up and connecting with my jaw with impressive force. I lost my balance and fell; grabbing on to Alex’s jacket in attempt to stop myself. We both feel to the ground; sliding a little on the linoleum. I felt eyes on us from all over the cafeteria. I held onto the front of Alex’s jacket and rolled us so I was on top of him.

“Fucking let me go!” Alex yelled at me; writhing beneath me.

“No!” I screamed back. “Let me explain what happened!”

Alex gripped the collar of my button up and rolled us back the other way so he was straddling my waist. From this position I could see the crowd gathering around us. Rian and Zack stood at the front of the group with Kara, Alexandra and Holly. Kara was holding onto Rian’s arm; both boys’ faces melded into a shocked expression. They obviously didn’t know what to do.

“Why should I fucking listen to you?” You fucked that Jasey slut!” Alex spat; his voice cracking and tears filled his eyes. I heard a collective gasp from the crowd. I kept my eyes trained on Alex’s face; not wanting to see the expressions that either Rian or Zack would wear now. “You fucking slept with her Jack.”

I wasn’t giving up. Yes I slept with her but it wasn’t by choice. I rolled us again.

“You should listen to me because of what we are,” I argued. “She fucking spiked my drink Lex. I didn’t know what I was fucking drinking.”

“Bullshit! Don’t fucking lie to me Jack,” he said; a tear leaked form his eyes and slid down his face. His eyes flashed angry. “I bet your girlfriend in ninth grade wasn’t bullshitting. You cheated on her too didn’t you? Don’t lie to me!”

I leaned down a little closer to him but didn’t change the volume of my voice. I gripped his collar tighter.

“I’m not fucking lying alright?” I told him loudly. “Why would I lie to you? I fucking love you.”

Alex rolled us again and I looked at his face. He bit down on his bottom lip and swung his fist back; holding it up high. I closed my eyes and cringed away from the impending pain. I waited a moment and a moment more but the pain didn’t come. I cautiously opened my eyes and found Alex still in the position from prior just his fist was no longer in the air. I met his eyes with mine and his body shuddered with a single sob. I felt my heart break. He was crying because of me, because of what I did.

“If you fucking loved me,” Alex started; tears now rolling down his face. “You wouldn’t have gone to that party in the first place.”

“You let me go,” I argued.

“That’s irrelevant, Jack,” he spat.

How could he think that I didn’t love him? He leaned his closer. His face merely an inch away from mine. He moved his face to my ear.

“I hate you,” he whispered. “We, whatever this is, it’s over.”

Alex let go of my shirt and used my chest to push himself up off me. I turned my head.

“Lex, please,” I called after him.

“Don’t fucking call me that!” he yelled over his shoulder.

I watched him pick up his bag and stalk back out of the cafeteria. I sat up myself and heaved myself up off the floor. I spotted a familiar item; Alex’s black beanie lying on the floor and I moved to pick it up. I held it in my hands; looking down at it sadly. I felt tears rise and fall from my eyes. I turned slowly; back to the crowd of the cafeteria. They all stared; their eyes wide and mouths agape. Some eyes were questioning, others shocked. Zack and Rian’s were a mixture of both anger and confusion. I couldn’t be here; I couldn’t deal with how they were looking at me. I turned away from them and made my way out of the cafeteria myself; desperate to be alone. As I walked down the empty corridors the heaviness came slamming down on my heart. The realisation hit that I had just lost him, lost Alex, the love of my young life, the only person that made me feel the way I do. What the fuck had I done?