Head on Collision

Jack’s POV

I trudged my way across Alex’s front lawn and onto the footpath. I stepped up onto the porch and took a deep breath. I ran my fingers through my hair in an attempt to tidy it even in the slightest. I straightened out my tshirt and exhaled before knocking on the door. I chewed my lip nervously and watched the door. I heard footsteps on the other side. I stepped back half a step. The door swung open slowly and revealed Alex; dressed in baggy sweat pants and what looked to be one of my Blink 182 band tshirts. I watched as he trailed his eyes up my body. I curled the side of my mouth up in a slight smile when his eyes met mine. Alex shook his head slowly and stepped back from the door way and slammed the door shut. I guess in this day and age, a door slammed in your face can be translated simply to ‘fuck you’.

I stared blankly at the closed door. I wasn’t giving up that easily. I banged on the door loudly with my fist; pounding it hard. There was no reaction from inside. I pounded both my fists against it again. I felt tears prick up in my eyes and trace warm trails down my face. There was nothing I could do to stop them.

“Please Lex,” I screamed at the door; the volume scaring even me. “I wasn’t lying to you!”

I waited for a moment. Nothing. Not even a peep.

“Alexander William Gaskarth,” I continued. “I love you. I absolutely fucking adore you. Why would I want anyone else?”

“Stop your whinging you fag,” a gruff voice called from behind me.

I turned sharply on my heel and glared at him.

“Shut the fuck up,” I yelled at him as he continued to walk away. Frowning; I turned back to the door. “Lex please.”

I heard footsteps on the other side of the door. I stepped back and wiped my face with the sleeve of my hoodie. I watched the door hopefully. It opened slowly; Mrs Gaskarth stood before me. My slight smile slipped into a frown.

“I think you should go Jack,” she told me softly.

“But, I have to see him Mrs Gaskarth,” I sniffed back the tears that were threatening to fall again. “I, I didn’t mean what I did. I’m in love with Lex. I am. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Please.”

I knew I was practically begging to see him but I was way past giving a damn.

“He doesn’t want to see you, sweetie,” Mrs Gaskarth informed me. I could tell that she was trying to be stern with me, but her usual warm tone was seeping through.

My heart caught in my throat and I choked out a sob. I dropped my gaze to the boards of the porch. I shook as I cried. I had cried more in the last two days then I had in my entire life.

“But. I love him,” I whispered.

I saw Mrs Gaskarth’s feet stepped towards me and she enveloped me in a hug. I collapsed against her; my arms hanging limply at my sides. My whole body shuddered as I sobbed into her shoulder.

“Tell me what happened,” she requested.

I leaned against Mrs Gaskarth as I divulged everything. What the party was for, Jasey approaching me for a dance and me denying her, accepting her offer of a soft drink. I explained the overwhelming feeling of intoxication all of a sudden and then waking up the next day with a splitting headache and no memory of what happened the night prior. Btu judging by my lack of clothing and Jasey asleep beside me, I put two and two together.

“Oh,” she said; looking at me solemnly.

“I wouldn’t...” I shook my head. “I would never.”

“Shh,” she hushed me and rubbed my back soothingly.

I stepped back from Mrs Gaskarth. I walked out to the lawn and stood out under Alex’s window. The doors leading into his bedroom were open.

“Lex. I know you’re in there,” I called up to him. “Please. Give me a chance to explain everything.”

Alex walked out onto the porch and I swallowed. He looked down to me; his face is void of emotion. I looked up to him hopefully.

“No,” he said simply; shaking his head slowly.

He backed away; closing the doors behind him.

“Alex!” I screamed up to him. “Please. Please Alex.”

I stared up in the direction of Alex window. I sighed; dropping my gaze back to Mrs Gaskart. She smiled softly at me; before backing up, much like her son did and closing the door behind her.

I turned my back on the Gaskarth house and started home. I sighed to myself. I had really gone and done it this time. why did I even go to that party? it not like it was any fun without Alex; what I remember of it anyway. I knew it wasn’t going to be. Why didn’t I just dance with Jasey and be done with it? She would of left me alone after that. I think. Fuck. Why’d I accept that drink? Could you be anymore of a dumbass Jack? And now, ive lost Alex. Not only my boyfriend type person; but my best friend too. I had only just got the chance to hang out with again now that im not grounded anymore and now I cant see him at all. Not because I wont have the time, because h simply wont want to see me.

I blinked the tears away from my eyes and wiped my cheeks with the sleeves of my tshirt before stepping up to the door and opening it before me.

“Jack?” mum’s voice greeted me as I closed the door behind me. I turned to face her. “What are you doing home?”

I gave her a look that said I don’t want to talk about it.

“What happened?” she asked; her voice laced with concern.

“You got what you wanted Mum,” I stated; my voice cracking. “Me and Alex. We’re through.”

“What?” she asked; taking a step toward me.

I stepped up too.

“We broke up, alright?” I repeated; raising my voice. “It’s over.”

I stormed away from my mum; leaving her gobsmacked in the hall way. I walked to my room; slamming the door behind me. I chucked down my school bag and plopped down heavily onto my bed; elbows on my knees, head cradled in my hands. My whole body shook as the sobs wracked my frame. I sniffed back my tears when there was a soft knock on my door.

The door opened slowly and I looked up to see my mum. Her face was sad too. What’d she have to be sad about? She got what she wanted didn’t she? She walked over and sat down on my bed beside me; resting a comforting arm around my shoulders.

“I thought you’d be happy,” I breathed in; trying to calm myself down. “You wanted me to break up with him. Well, he did it for me.”

I lost control again; shaking as each individual sob over took my body. My mum pulled me closer to her; wrapping both arms around me and rubbing my back soothingly.

“I didn’t want it to happen like this,” my mum told me softly. “I didn’t want you hurt Jack.”

My rub continued to rub my back and shoosh me as I carried on crying.

“I didn’t mean it,” I told her.

“Didn’t mean what?”

“What happened,” I clarified. “I didn’t mean to hurt you mum or dad. And I certainly didn’t want to hurt Alex. I love him. I love him so much.”

“Shh Jack,” mum soothed. “I know you do. I know you love him. and it took this to make me realise.”

“what?” I pulled out of the hug and looked at my mum curiously.

“What ever happend, whatever you did to make all this go pear shaped, you need to fix it,” mum told me. “For your sake. And for Alex’s. I know now how much you love him; otherwise, this wouldn’t hurt so much.”

Mum pulled a tissue from her pocketed and wiped the tears off my cheeks; smiling softly as she did. Mum was right. I needed to fix this.