Head on Collision

Jack’s POV

Four days. Four days it had been since I had seen or spoken to Alex. I guess you could say I was doing it on purpose; doing what Zack had told me to. I’m giving Alex his space. The things is, I don’t know how long to wait. I don’t know how long I should sit back and let him ponder everything; let him just think about everything that went down.

No one could give me straight answer. Zack said just give him time. Holly, give him his space. Even my mum said to just give him a chance. But in each circumstance not one could provide me with a time frame to leave him alone for.

It was scary, ill admit, not knowing what exactly he’s thinking about. I mean, is he thinking about me? Is he thinking about forgiving me, coming back to me? Is he thinking about never talking to me again? Four days is a pretty good start right? Maybe he’s thinking about coming to me first. I shook my head to myself. Wishful thinking that is. Or maybe he’s thinking about Daniel? falling back into his shall that I pulled him out of.

I stopped in my tracks on my path to the auditorium. What if he thinks I’ve given up? What if he thinks I just don’t want him anymore? That’s why I’ve been avoiding him. No. He wouldn’t think that would he? He knows how much I care about him; love him. He knows that I wouldn’t give up.

I had even written a song. Well, sort of anyway. About us. About me and Alex. Writing down those pesky feelings that have made me cry ever since all this shit went down. I don’t have the guts to give it to him. He wont even talk to me.

I sighed. What the fuck am I going to do? I turned the handle on the door to the auditorium only to stop again when I heard music drifting through the crack.

’He is everywhere I go,
Everyone I see.
Winters gone and i still cant sleep.
summers on the way
At least that's what they say.
but these clouds wont leave.

I would recognize that beautiful singing voice anywhere. I peered through the gap and slowly lowered my bag to the floor. Just to stop it from hitting the door and giving away my presence. Alex sat up on the stage at the piano; much like how I’d found him singing lullabies a mere 6 months prior.

I heard his voice. That undeniable agony; the pain that followed every single word that rolled off his tongue.

”Walk away
I'm barely breathing
As I'm lying on the floor
Take my heart
As you're leaving
I don't need it anymore.”

When did he write this? When was it that this all came together? Walking away with his heart? Lying on the floor?

”This is the memory
This is the curse of having
Too much time to think about it
It's killing me
This is the last time
This is my forgiveness
This is endless.”

Jasey. The cheating. Everything. Me forcing myself onto him in the cafeteria. Oh my god. I felt myself choke up.

”Now spring has brought the rain
But I still see your face
And I can not escape the past
Creeping up inside
Reminding me that I
Can never bring you back”

I felt like bursting in there and telling him he was wrong. I wasn’t going anywhere. I knew it. I know I had left him alone for too long. He thinks I've given up. He thinks I've stopped fighting.

”This is the memory
This is the curse of having
Too much time to think about it
It's killing me
This is the last time
This is my forgiveness
This is endless

Someone help me
'Cause the memory
Convinced itself to tear me apart
And it's gonna succeed before long”

I had my hand perched on the door knob. I heard him. He was almost fucking crying up there.

{i]”he is everywhere I go
Everyone I see
But these clouds won't leave.”

I pulled my hand free of the knob as Alex stopped playing. I watched him as he dropped his head to the keys of the keys of the piano. I watched as his shoulders shook as he cried and I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t stand there and watch the boy I was in love with cry like that.

I swooped down and picked up my bag; opening the door slowly and putting it down on the other side.

“Lex?” I said quietly to the empty room.

His head shot up; his eyes meeting mine instantly. I froze. He looked down a little before standing up; walking to the edge of the stage and jumping down. The, he started towards me. Walking slowly at first before breaking into a run. The breeze his stride caused pushed his hair back off his tear streaked face, his plaid shirt flying behind him and the plain black vneck clung to his frame. He slowed his run as he approached.

He look a running leap at me; throwing his arms around my neck. He squeezed me tight; pulling me as close to him as he possibly could. I held him; his body flush against mine. He clung to me like his life depended on it. I could his heart beating against my chest; his face buried into my shoulder, the tears soaking through to my shirt. I didn’t care. He was here, he was near me. He was in my arms. He said something; muffled against the collar of my shirt.

“What?” I whispered.

“I’m sorry.”