Head on Collision

Alex’s POV

I walked into the cafeteria laughing with Holly. The substitute we had had for chemistry had simple been ridiculous. I gazed up at our usual table. I stopped laughing instantly when I realised Jack wasn’t there. Holly seemed to understand; having been filled in with what happened with Jack by Kara over the weekend on one of their apparent monthly sleepover with Alexandra and a few other girls on the cheer leading squad. Holly isn’t even a cheer leader but whatever. I approached the table slowly and Zack looked shocked to see me.

“Hey bro,” he greeted. “I didn’t know you were here today.”

“Well I am,” I replied. “It was Jack’s first day back.”

“He wasn’t in maths this morning,” Zack told me and I swallowed hard.

“What?”

“He wasn’t in maths,” Zack repeated. ‘I just assumed he wasn’t up for coming back yet. I didn’t see you guys’ this morning so...”

Zack trailed off, licking his lips nervously.

“Then where the hell is he?” Rian asked the question no one else dared ask.

“I’m sure he’s okay Alex,” Kara smiled form her place beside a very concerned Rian.

“We can’t be sure of that until I know where he is,” I told her as I looked around the cafeteria.

Riley was sitting with a few mates at the table in the far corner. Thankfully Chris was in the line for food. I slid my phone out of my pocket and sent of a text to Jack asking where the hell he was. I stared at my phone nervously waiting for a reply. I felt the eyes of my friends on me and my phone vibrated in my hand.

somewhere only we know

I smiled a little before turning and practically running from the cafeteria; ignoring the calls of Zack and Rian behind me.

I pushed the auditorium door open quietly and was thankful when I found it completely empty. The seats were all in darkness; the only light was settled over the stage as always. This place was all too familiar. So many of mine and Jack’s bonding and deep and meaningful moments had happened in this auditorium. If this wasn’t the place Jack had meant in his text, I honestly wouldn’t know anywhere else to look. I took a deep breath; the dust that had been disturbed by me opening the door making me wince as I inhaled it. I looked around the room from chair to chair making sure it was in fact empty before slowly making my way down the centre of the room to the stage.

I walked around to the side and up the steps on to the stage. I ran my fingers across the top of the piano that sat in the centre of the stage, remembering singing lullabies and memories there; both times Jack had found me, at some of the lowest points in my life. But this time, I was the one to find Jack.

I turned my gaze up to look to the eaves where Jack and I had sat back in September. Sure enough; hanging over the edge I found Jack’s feet, swinging slowly back and forth. Of course I could only see the soles of his chucks. I smiled to myself before walking over to the ladder at the side; leading up to beams above. Hitching my gab up on my shoulder I pulled myself up and climbed, albeit carefully up to Jack.
When I reached the top he looked over to me. He pulled his knees up to his chest and settled the side of his face against them. His face was blotchy; his hair literally everywhere. My baby.

I smiled sadly as I swung my legs over the side and shimmied my way over to Jack on my butt. As I moved closer I could see the shine of unshed tears in his eyes; the trails of dry tears down his cheeks. The sparkle was gone. My Jack was truly broken and it was all Chris’ fault. I pulled my bag off and angled myself towards Jack; pulling his non-resistant body into my arms. He dropped his legs down and fell against me, turning his face into my chest. I felt his shoulders start to shake as he started to cry. His sobs got stronger and I felt so helpless. I pulled him tighter against my chest. He didn’t move to hug me back and he didn’t need to. His sobs wracked his body; his finger tips curling themselves into my t-shirt, gripping them for all he’s worth; holding on to me.

“Don’t go,” Jack begged; his voice cracking as he sobbed again.

“Why would you even....”

“You left before,” he continued. “I should have told you not to.”

“Oh Jack baby,” I rubbed his back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to leave you.”

I bit my lip to fight my own tears. Seeing Jack like this was harder than seeing him all broken and bruised in the hospital. That was all physical stuff. But this, this has rocked Jack on the inside too.

“S’not your fault.” Jack shook his head against my chest. “Just, don’t go now. Please.”

“I wouldn’t even think of leaving you Jack,” I told him honestly. My voice cracked; my eyes filling with tears. “Not while you’re like this. Not ever.”

“I hate this. I feeling like this,” Jack whispered; turning more to face me and sliding one of his arms around behind me. I felt him grip the back of my hoodie too. He was clinging to me. “I feel so pathetic. I feel so lost and confused and....”

“Busted?” I offered.

Jack lifted his head off my chest and my heart broke at the look on his face. His furrowed brow, his tear stained cheeks, his red nose and those beautiful brown eyes filled with more sadness then I had ever seen in Jack. I loosened my grip on him gently, using the sleeve of my hoodie to wipe at his cheeks. The side of his mouth turned up a fraction and he nodded slowly.

“Come here,” I pulled him back into me; sliding my fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck and gently pulling his head back down into my chest. “I’ve got you Jack. I’m not letting you go. Not until you feel better. Not until you smile again.”

Jack took a deep shuddering breath and loosened the death grip he had on my shirt and hoodie; choosing to slide his arms around my torso instead.

“Thank you Lex,” he whispered.

“You’re welcome,” I smiled. I couldn’t resist. “I’m pretty sure I passed my history test by the way.”

Jack’s shoulders shook a little again.

“I’m sorry,” I told him. “It’s okay. I’m here. I shouldn’t have...”

Jack lifted his head off my chest and I looked him in the eye. He laughed. His shoulders were still shaking. I laughed too; simply because he was. He was smiling.

“You’re an idiot,” he shook his head.

“Yeah,” I agreed and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “But you love me anyway right?”

“Right,” Jack smiled.