Head on Collision

Alex’s POV

Jack and I had been sitting up in the ceiling of the hall for about 45 minutes in silence. It wasn’t an awkward silence; quite the opposite really. It was a comfortable silence. We were leaning against the wooden support boards and our legs were hanging over the side; feet dangling 20 feet in the air. I was sitting close to Jack; my head resting on his shoulder. I thought it was crossing some sort of line to begin with, but when Jack rested his head on top of mine, I knew I was safe.

I couldn’t believe how amazing he was being. I had only met him yesterday and I had already told him a secret like that. I wasn’t planning on telling anybody about Daniel. But, Jack was sweet. He probably didn't realize how serious I was when I told him he was the best friend I had ever had. Because it was true. All of my friends in England had dumped me when they found out; they didn’t want to do anything to push me over the edge, they had said. They didn’t want me to “off myself” like my brother had, so they had steered completely clear. It was random people and jocks that had asked questions and made fun. But Jack; Jack was different. None of my guy friends back home would skip class with me and sit in the eaves of the hall roof and just talk. They wouldn’t hug me and comfort me the way Jack had. And they probably would’ve freaked out if I had snuggled into them like I had with Jack.

I flickered my eyes to Jack’s hand for maybe the 1000th time in the last 45 minutes. I had been fighting the urge to reach out and hold his hand the whole time. I wanted to thank him for being so amazing. I wanted to feel what his hand would feel like in mine. It was an obscure feeling; one I hadn’t felt before. But it was a longing.

“Jack?” I whispered into the silence of the hall.

“Mhm,” Jack replied with a hum.

“I just wanted to say thank you,” I smiled.

“There’s no need to thank me, Lex,” he smiled in return.

I sat up and turned my face to look at him; he did the same; brushing his fringe out of his face and resting the side of his head against the boards.

“No, there really is,” I told him.

“Alright,” Jack gave in.

I inhaled.

“I just want to say thank you for being so awesome, Jack,” I said with a sincere smile.

“Oh well, it just comes naturally,” Jack replied; dusting fake dirt off his shoulders.

“I mean it,” I continued. “No one’s just sat with me like this and talked to me. I mean ever. Like, yeah, I’d talk to my lab partner about an assignment or my mum about girl problems but I’ve never had someone to just sit with and talk about everything. I’ve never explained the friend situation back in England to anyone. My mum doesn’t know that all of my friends had left me when they found out. They just stopped coming over; she probably just didn’t notice. If I had cried in front of them like I had with you, they would’ve laughed. They wouldn’t have been supportive. I only cried today because I thought no one would find me. But I’m glad it was you that did. I’ve never had a guy friend that I could sit and talk with. Did me laying my head on your shoulder bug you at all?”

Jack shook his head.

“See, the guys I hung with back in England would freak out, more than likely,” I brushed my fringe back off my face. “I guess you could say that I was way more emotional then them and smarter.”

“I bet you’re smarter than everyone here too,” Jack smirked.

I shook my head and laughed lightly.

“I mean what I said Jack,” I fought the urge to touch his face or hold his hand. “You are my best friend.”

“After only two days, I have a best friend,” Jack smiled. “Who would of thought?”

What’d he mean I was his best friend?

“What about Rian and Zack?” I asked him.

“Oh, they’re each others best friend,” he confessed. “In a way, I was sort of a third wheel.”

I cocked my eyebrow and he shook his head.

“I’m not saying they’re like, hooking up or something,” he explained. “Its just, they were friends first; since elementary. I met them in middle school. So, I was always an extra. Don’t get me wrong, they’re the best mates any guy could have. But, and this is going to sound pretty, fucking corny, but I’m glad you came over here.”

Jack sat back against the boards and closed his eyes and I followed suit; choosing to keep my eyes open.

“Yeah, I guess some sort of positive thing came out of Daniel passing away,” I said softly.

I glanced at Jack’s hand again; it was sitting against his thigh; his fingers drumming along to an imaginary beat. I twitched my fingers and slowly moved my hand along my leg and inched my way to Jack’s hand. I lifted my hand off my leg and let it hover in the air; moving slowly to Jacks hand. My hand was just above his when the bell rang; my eyes snapping up and away from Jack and my hand flying back to my lap. I felt a blush creep onto my face. Jack turned his face to me and grinned.

“Recess,” he told me.

I nodded in response. I watched as he grabbed his bag and slid to the other side of the landing.

“Come on,” he called to me.

I grabbed my bag and slid after him; stopping at the top of the ladder as he climbed down. I peered over and lowered my bag down to him by the strap. He looked up; waving me down with his hand. I turned; and started my descent. I moved slowly; not wanting to miss a rung and go crashing down the ladder; injuring both myself and Jack at the same time. I lowered myself down; my foot slipping off the very last rung and I staggered back. Jack grabbed my shoulders; stopping me from falling.

“Something else you should know about me Jack?” I said; taking my bag from him.

“What’s that?” he half laughed.

“I have a habit of being a bit clumsy,” I chewed the corner of my lip.

“Well, we have that in common, dear Alexander,” he laughed and pulled me by the bag strap up the center aisle. “Who’s the one that’s knocked you down, twice?”

“You have a point,” I laughed with him.

"Come on,” Jack whined. “I’m hungry.”

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” I laughed and followed Jack into the cafeteria. “I just can’t believe I skipped a class. I’ve never done that before.”

“Sup fag?”

I whipped around at the sound of a harsh voice behind me.

“Excuse me?” I responded.

“You heard me,” a big guy sneered. The letter man jacket told me he was some sort of jock. “I heard your little sing song in the hall during first period. That’s a cute little song. Did you write it for your boyfriend?”

“Back off, Chris,” Jack stepped up beside me; his arm steering me backward so I was standing behind him.

“Leave it Jack,” I whispered to him. “It doesn’t matter.”

“No, it does fucking matter," Jack yelled. I glanced around. The packed cafeteria all paying attention to us. “Seriously Chris? Fag? I thought you’d moved on from that sort of childish shit.”

“No one asked you Jack-off,” Chris told Jack. “Look at him. He even dresses like a fucking Nancy boy. He’s a freaky little fagatron”

“Fagatron?” Jack laughed in Chris’ face before swinging his fist and connected it with Chris’ nose.

A sickening crack echoed through the silent cafeteria followed by a gasp. Chris’ hand flew to his nose; the anger burned in his eyes. I stared at the blood; suddenly feeling sick to my stomach. Someone seized my hand and pulled me away from the situation; dragging me away from Chris and out the cafeteria doors.

“Fucking get him, you morons!” I heard Chris shout behind me.

I looked up to see that it was Jack that had a hold of my hand. His was warm, comforting as well as strong. He had a grin on his face as we started to run. I just barely kept up with him. We kept running; through the people gathering things from their lockers, past a few teachers and out the big wooden doors at the front of the school. I noticed the sun had made an appearance. We were half way down the block when Jack finally let go of my hand. It felt empty without his there.

“I can’t believe I just did that,” Jack exclaimed; excitedly. He jumped up and down; spinning midair. “Did you see that? I hit him. I have never had the guts to do that before; ever. He’s been bullying me for years.”

“Yeah, I saw,” I answered in a low voice.

“Oh kid,” Jack grinned; draping his arm across my shoulders and pulling me close to him as we walked along the path. “The strength you give me.”

“It’s highly likely that you’re going to cop shit for this,” I told him. “You probably just broke that guy’s nose.”

“So?” Jack shrugged a grin still on his face. “He had it coming. Besides, you’re worth it. That was just, exhilarating.”

“I’m glad you had fun,” I muttered; guilty filling me from head to toe.

“You want to get something to eat?” Jack asked randomly. “I’m starving.”

I looked at him incredulously.

“My shout?” he smiled hopefully; his face expressing innocence I didn’t think possible of Jack.

“What are we having?” I gave in.

“I know a place,” Jack grinned and grabbed my hand again.

My body filled with that warmth again; a smile finally appearing.

~

Jack and I slid into a booth at a diner a few blocks from school. The seats were made of red vinyl, black and white tiles covered the floor and the waitresses wore roller blades. It looked like something right out of Grease.

Jack was still smiling when he slid a menu my way and picked one up for himself. I watched Jack; his big brown eyes scanning the menu. I took a deep breath and released it.

“Thank you Jack. For standing up for me I mean,” I told him. “You didn’t have to.”

“It’s no problem,” Jack shrugged and lay the menu on the table.

We fell silent and I scanned the menu. Burger combos, with fries and a milkshake jumped out at me. I hadn’t really eaten a lot for ages; but suddenly I felt hungry.

“You aren’t though, are you?” Jack asked quickly; his eyes still on the menu.

“Aren’t what?” I asked; confused.

“You know,” Jack leaned forward on the table. “Gay. A fag”

“What? No.” I managed to get out after stuttering a bit. I have no idea what I am. “Why would you ask that?”

“Chill dude,” Jack laughed; holding both hands up in surrender. “I was just asking. I mean, even if you were it wouldn't matter. Of course. Like," Jack started stammering over his words. He seemed, nervous? "I know you said you'd had a girlfriend. But like, we're, I mean, you're young. People don't usually figure out their sexualities until their older and stuff. So."

Jack wouldn't look me in the eye. The question sat on the tip of my tongue. Should I ask Jack the same thing he asked me? Ask Jack what he identifies as? I took a breath to ask...

"What do you want on your burger?” Jack grinned at me from across the table.

I guess it was a question for another day.

~

After stuffing ourselves with massive hamburgers, milkshakes and fries worthy of a heart attack, Jack and I walked to the mall. He had insisted on buying me something.

“I don’t understand why this is necessary,” I shook my head as I stared at myself in the mirror of the change room.

“Those assholes are always picking on how you dress,” Jack said as-a-matter-of-factly outside the change room door. “Why not change it up a bit?”

I sighed and watched my reflection turn in the mirror. These jeans were fucking tight. A lot tighter than I was used to.

“Do you really think a pair of jeans will make a difference, Jack?” I asked; frustrated by his want to pay for everything.

“Yes,” Jack whined. “Now, do they fit? Can I see?”

I heard the door creak slightly and I stepped back against it to keep it closed. No way was he coming in here with how tight these were. Jesus. Close proximity, with all we've been discussing. Not a good idea.

“Yes Jack, they fit,” I told him determined to keep him outside of the change room. I started to undo them. “You’re not seeing me in them though.”

“I will if you wear them to school,” Jack claimed. I could literally heart the smirk.

“Yeah, well. Whatever,” I huffed; pulling off the black skinny jeans Jack had picked out and pulled my own back on.

I stepped out of the change room with the jeans over my arm. He stood about a step away from the change room door, arms folded looking smug as all hell.

"Shut up!" I shoved him with my free hand. “Can we just buy them and go home?”

"I didn't say anything," Jack shrugged. He kept smiling at me.

"Please Jack," I pulled my bag back on. "Home?"

"Fine," Jack agreed with a frown. “Let’s go.”

We walked home quickly; not realising just how late in the afternoon it was. We stopped outside Jacks house.

“Alright, well, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Jack shrugged.

“Yep,” I smiled; stepping closer and hugging him loosely. “Thanks again. For everything.”

I couldn't even begin to thank Jack for everything he had done for me today. From little things like buying me lunch and these stupid jeans, to the really big ones. Like being the best friend I've had so far in my life.

“It’s no big deal,” Jack smiled. “See ya.”

He hesitated a little, like he wanted to say something else.

"What?" I urged.

He contemplated me for a second, his head tilted in an admittedly adorable way, before stepping up and wrapping his arms tightly around my shoulders in a hug. I put the bag with my jeans in it down and returned the hug; holding him just as tightly as he was hugging me.

"I didn't say it before," Jack said quietly into my ear. "But I'm really fucking sorry about Daniel."

My breath got caught in my throat. I tucked my face into the curve of Jack's neck. I didn't want to cry all over him again. I took a deep breath and gently tugged away making Jack let go.

"It's okay," I told him. "I'm okay. I'm better. Happier. Relieved to have been able to sit and just have everything explode out of me like word vomit."

Jack smiled now. He straightened the neck of my sweater where he obviously as made it askew.

"I'm happier knowing you're okay."

"Thanks again Jack," I told him honestly.

"You're welcome," he picked up my bag for me. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow."

I watched him walk up his path and through his open front door. I walked up the street quickly; breaking into a light jog. I got to the door and stepped through; closing it quietly behind me. I ran up the stairs, to my bedroom and dumped my bags on my bedroom floor. I walked over to my full length mirror and surveyed my appearance.

“Alex, honey. I’m glad you’re home,” my mum’s voice invaded my room. “I was just heading out to the mall. Do you need anything?”

“No,” I shook my head; studying my clothing in the mirror. Mum walked away; I heard her walking down the stairs. Was there really something that bad about the way I dress? I frowned.

“Actually mum?” I called. “Do you mind if I come with you?”