Status: Writer's Block
Mein Kampf as a Teenage Outcast
Danni is a wimp
After failing another English test (ok, well maybe getting a C. Deryk seemed to know what he was doing up until the last five questions) we went our separate ways. My stomach rumbled submissively under my shirt.
Maybe my dad wouldn't know whether I ate or not today? I hate it; for his fucking pedafelic friends, I have to kill myself staying skinny and anorexic so they can put their hands all over my corpse-like body. How the hell is that sexy?
After the men left last night, he made me go on the treadmill. He said he heard a negative comment about how I'm rounding out, and if his friends are "displeased, there's gonna be hell to pay." God, was there hell, alright.
I'm only allowed to eat three days of the week now. He's being such a Nazi about it, monitoring my weight every day. Heaven forbid I'm ever higher than 115.
God, but I'm starving! I couldn't take it anymore. "What's wrong, Danni?" Deryk asked as he sat down at lunch.
"I forgot my lunch money." I lied.
"Oh. Well, I think I have a couple more bucks, if you want anything." he said. I jumped at the opportunity. My food was gone in a matter of seconds once I was back at the table. "Shit! How do you stay so thin when you eat that much?!" he asked.
If only he knew the half of it. I just shrugged. Not too long ago, our table was crowded with people, all laughing and having fun and being teenagers. But that all ended last year. My best friend, Jimmy, who actually knew about my dad and let me stay over at his house when I couldn't take it, overdosed at a party I went to. I still cry about him. Then Anne-Marie, Deryk's ex girlfriend, went away to Brown University. How someone as cool and great at parties like her got into such a great college still confuses me, but I'm happy for her. Todd was sent back to live with his mom in California once he came out of the closet and his dad disowned him. And Jake and Sarah, the twins notorious for the greatest parties in the city, graduated and are going to colleges in separate states Apparently they think it will help their education to split up.
Sadly, the split of the group left only Deryk and me to fend for each other. We didn't have the millions of distractions such as parties and drinking games and friend-filled nights like before, and it was beginning to hit us that after so long of being surrounded by people, two is a sorry group.
Still we enjoyed each other's company. In the end, it was undenialbe; we needed each other. If nothing else, we needed the support of knowing other people were having trouble shaking off the drugs and alcohol of freshman year.
"Dude, we need to go to the movies this weekend!" He exclaimed, barely audible from behind the mouthful of cheeseburger.
"Why, what's out?" I asked, wondering what the urgency was.
"Dude, ALICE IN WONDERLAND!!! How badass is that gonna be?"
"Oh, sure, we'll watch some twisted little kid movie, but heaven forbid we watch the crazies." I smiled mockingly. He always chikened out of the horror movies with me. I guess that's what I missed most about Jimmy.
"God, still with calling me a pussy? I'm just sayin', I don't wanna be responsible for your hand being ripped off from me freaking out in it." he reasoned.
"I'll go if you watch my movie first." I dared him.
He made an exaggerated sigh. "Ok, ok. But I'm not paying for two movies."
"Well, duh, you're still in the theater. Just walk into Alice." I rolled my eyes smiling.
"Said the pussy who hates 'illegal stuff'! I just wanted to make sure you weren't going to expect I pay now that it's just the two fo us being 'bad'" he explained. It's true, I do hate illegal activity. But considering how shitty I feel, I'm just happy to have plans.
Maybe my dad wouldn't know whether I ate or not today? I hate it; for his fucking pedafelic friends, I have to kill myself staying skinny and anorexic so they can put their hands all over my corpse-like body. How the hell is that sexy?
After the men left last night, he made me go on the treadmill. He said he heard a negative comment about how I'm rounding out, and if his friends are "displeased, there's gonna be hell to pay." God, was there hell, alright.
I'm only allowed to eat three days of the week now. He's being such a Nazi about it, monitoring my weight every day. Heaven forbid I'm ever higher than 115.
God, but I'm starving! I couldn't take it anymore. "What's wrong, Danni?" Deryk asked as he sat down at lunch.
"I forgot my lunch money." I lied.
"Oh. Well, I think I have a couple more bucks, if you want anything." he said. I jumped at the opportunity. My food was gone in a matter of seconds once I was back at the table. "Shit! How do you stay so thin when you eat that much?!" he asked.
If only he knew the half of it. I just shrugged. Not too long ago, our table was crowded with people, all laughing and having fun and being teenagers. But that all ended last year. My best friend, Jimmy, who actually knew about my dad and let me stay over at his house when I couldn't take it, overdosed at a party I went to. I still cry about him. Then Anne-Marie, Deryk's ex girlfriend, went away to Brown University. How someone as cool and great at parties like her got into such a great college still confuses me, but I'm happy for her. Todd was sent back to live with his mom in California once he came out of the closet and his dad disowned him. And Jake and Sarah, the twins notorious for the greatest parties in the city, graduated and are going to colleges in separate states Apparently they think it will help their education to split up.
Sadly, the split of the group left only Deryk and me to fend for each other. We didn't have the millions of distractions such as parties and drinking games and friend-filled nights like before, and it was beginning to hit us that after so long of being surrounded by people, two is a sorry group.
Still we enjoyed each other's company. In the end, it was undenialbe; we needed each other. If nothing else, we needed the support of knowing other people were having trouble shaking off the drugs and alcohol of freshman year.
"Dude, we need to go to the movies this weekend!" He exclaimed, barely audible from behind the mouthful of cheeseburger.
"Why, what's out?" I asked, wondering what the urgency was.
"Dude, ALICE IN WONDERLAND!!! How badass is that gonna be?"
"Oh, sure, we'll watch some twisted little kid movie, but heaven forbid we watch the crazies." I smiled mockingly. He always chikened out of the horror movies with me. I guess that's what I missed most about Jimmy.
"God, still with calling me a pussy? I'm just sayin', I don't wanna be responsible for your hand being ripped off from me freaking out in it." he reasoned.
"I'll go if you watch my movie first." I dared him.
He made an exaggerated sigh. "Ok, ok. But I'm not paying for two movies."
"Well, duh, you're still in the theater. Just walk into Alice." I rolled my eyes smiling.
"Said the pussy who hates 'illegal stuff'! I just wanted to make sure you weren't going to expect I pay now that it's just the two fo us being 'bad'" he explained. It's true, I do hate illegal activity. But considering how shitty I feel, I'm just happy to have plans.