Only in the Moonlight Does This Feel Right

Carlisle left right after that to head to the hospital to stock up on blood for Jade so he could perform a blood transfusion in hopes of getting her levels up. I stood where he left me at and looked at my feet, taking in everything over again over again.

'She could die… she could die… all because of me…' Thoughts of suicide raced throughout my mind and the leech spoke up.

“You’re not seriously going to commit suicide, are you?” Edward questioned.

“You’re one to talk,” I spat, turning around to face him. “Just last year when you thought she kicked the bucket you went to go get your head chopped off.”

The blond vamp hissed angrily, and was pulled into an embrace by her large mate, Emmett. It made me realize that I might not be able to do that again with Jade…

“But Jake—this is crazy!” Bella yelled. “You can’t just go kill yourself over her!”

“Isabella!” I yelled and everyone was silent, her eyes wide in shock. I had never called Bells by her full name, never… “You don’t get it! She’s my imprint! She means the world to me and is the most important thing in my life! I did that to her and now she’s nearly dead!”

“But Jake, your life is worth something, just because she dies doesn’t mean you should!” She argued.

“You don’t understand!” I bellowed, grabbing my hair in frustration. “You love him, don’t you?” I looked at Edward and she nodded. “And you want to be with him forever—you would even give up your life and be turned into a vampire for him?” She nodded once again. “That’s how it is for Jade and me—only stronger. I can’t live without her, I don’t think I can, and I truly don’t plan on it.”

“Jake… you can’t leave me…” She mumbled.

“You have him, Bella. You don’t need me.” I replied. “Jade… I need her. I don’t know what I’ll do without her and that scares me. It scares me so much that I can’t think of life without her—even if I try, nothing comes to mind. It’s all just an empty world without her because she is my world.”

I looked at the stairs and walked up them hastily. I walked down the hallway and stood in the door frame of Jade’s room.

She looked pale—almost as pale as the Cullens’. I walked over to her and gently caressed her cheek with my thumb; she was freezing, her skin as cold as ice. Her chest rose slowly, shaking occasionally because she was having trouble breathing. Bruises were slowly forming on her knees and there was a circular one on her chest from my paw from when I had snapped and pushed her to the ground.

“I’m so sorry, Jade… I would take it back if I could—in a heartbeat.” I whispered and kissed her lips softly, letting my forehead rest against her own.

I wished that she would just wake up. I wished that she would open those big round eyelids and let me see those brown sparkling pools that I longed to see. I wanted to hear her laugh that adorable and enchanting giggle. I wanted to see that smile that lit up my day and made me feel like nothing was wrong with the world. I wanted her to kiss me with those plump pink lips and send sensations of pleasure and fulfillment in me. I wanted to hold her close like I did when we spent quality time together in her bed, just enjoying each other’s company.

I just wanted to let her know how much I loved her…

“Alright,” Carlisle’s voice could be heard downstairs, and he walked up the staircase quickly, his footsteps getting closer with each passing second until he was in the room with me. “Excuse me, Jacob, please move to the side.”

I did as I was told and he put a cooler onto the floor. He opened it up to reveal at least ten packets of blood in there and hung one of them up on a rack. He grabbed an IV and moved Jade’s arm to an easy access position, and he then pushed the needle into her arm. He taped it down to it didn’t move, and then hooked it up to the baggie and the blood came rushing down the clear tube and into her body.

“Hopefully this’ll do the trick,” He sighed, and put a hand on my shoulder. “Please tell us if you need anything Jacob, and you’re more than welcome to stay here as long as Jade is.”
I nodded my head, not saying a word, and he walked back out. I grabbed a chair, pulled it up right next to her, and sat down, keeping her hand in mine tightly.

“I love you, Jade. Wake up soon.”

-{}-

I was becoming worried.

Where was Jade…? She told me that she was going to be coming home in a while… not in five hours…!

'Calm down, Emily,' I told myself. 'I’m sure that nothing bad has happened, she probably went with the pack to the lesson, that’s all. Everything’s fine.'

I saw it was around dinner time and I began to go into the kitchen. I got out some pots and then began to boil some water, I wanted to make Jade’s favorite meal tonight—pasta.

I added the noodles to the now boiling water that was on the stove, and began to get out the ingredients for the sauce. Once I had finished that I got out another pan on the stove and began to warm it up. I strained the now flimsy pasta and finished making the sauce. After that I made some garlic bread and the smell of Italian was everywhere in the house.

The house phone rang and I wiped my hands on a dishtowel before picking it up from receiver. “Hello?”

“Emily, it’s Sam,” He spoke in his usually rough tone.

“Hey baby,” I smiled. “Where are you at, usually you and the boys are home by now?”

“Something happened, Em,” He sighed tiredly. “We’re at the Cullens’, have you made dinner?”

“Yes, I just finished right now,”

“Okay, well, I’m having Seth go over there right now. Can you please pack up the food and drive over to the Cullens’?”

“Yea, sure Sam, what’s happening?”

“There was an accident, I’ll tell you more when you get here, I promise.”

“Okay, bye, Sam.”

“Bye, Em,”

I hung up the phone and walked over to the cabinets, getting out some large Tupperware containers. I began to put the pasta into them and soon Seth came inside, helping me pack it all up. He poured the sauce and then all that was left was the garlic bread which we foiled up in no time at all.

I grabbed Chris’s car keys and we were loading everything up in the backseat of the car. I would be driving and Seth would be holding the sauce so it didn’t spill.

“So what happened?” I asked five minutes into the drive.

“Sorry Emily, can’t tell you. Sam told me not to.” He frowned.

I gave a sigh—Sam would do that. “It’s fine,”

The rest of the car ride was silent and that was mostly due to my thinking about what could’ve happened. Someone had to have gotten hurt for the Cullens to be involved. My guess was who…?

After ten more minutes, we arrived and Seth helped me carry in the foods. I put them into the kitchen and walked back into the living room where everyone was huddled together—my guys on one side and the Cullens on the other.

There was a sense of depression in the air and I didn’t see Jake anywhere…

“Sam, what happened?”

He stood up and pulled me into a hug. “It’s Jade,” He began. Immediately my heart stopped and my blood ran cold—what happened to my niece…?! “There was a misunderstanding between her and Jacob and it upset him. He shifted uncontrollably and gave her gashes on her stomach. Carlisle is trying to get her blood levels up right now.”

I felt my eyes water up and tears spilled over and ran down my cheeks. “She’ll make it through, right…?” He didn’t answer me and I sobbed into his chest. “Right?”

“All we can do is hope,” He said softly, rubbing my back soothingly.

I sat down next to Chris and gave him a long hug. He hugged back and I could feel his tears through my shirt. He was her sister… besides Jacob, he was taking this the hardest. He had already lost so much… both of his mothers were gone, his father recently passed, and now this was happening to him…

I couldn’t imagine what was going through his mind right now.

I didn’t want to imagine what was going through his mind right now.

“I promise you she’ll be fine, Chris, she’s strong—I’ll know she’ll pull through.” I reassured him.

“You’re the one who needs the reassuring.” He mumbled. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Aunt Emily.”

After Chris and I got our tears out, we simply waited. “Why don’t you boys eat?” I suggested. “Bella, if you haven’t eaten yet, join them.”

Bella gave a small nod and whispered a thank you to me, and I gave her a small smile.

After some convincing and some threats, the pack walked into the kitchen sluggishly, not wanting to move at all. Bella followed and Edward told her that he would be going along with his siblings to hunt, claiming that the blood upstairs was making them uncomfortable.

I served everyone some food after heating it up and we all waited for something to happen.

We all waited for a miracle.

-{}-

I watched her lay in that bed and felt nothing but emptiness inside me.

She hadn’t moved, but I knew that there was still a sliver of hope in me that she would wake up.

The bleeding didn’t lift completely, it just slowed it down. Every half hour Carlisle would come up and replace the bandages with new ones.

The only thing that made me slightly more hopeful that she would be alright was that she was regaining a bit more of her color back.

That was a good thing… right?

I didn’t know about anything right now. Everything was just so confusing—so wrong—and I wasn’t sure about anything. All I knew was that if she made it out of her, I would do anything and everything to let her know how sorry, wrong, and how in love I was with her.

Even if that meant doing things that made me uncomfortable or things that I hated.

Anything for Jade—absolutely anything.

I heard footsteps coming down the hall and figured it was Carlisle coming to renew the bandages. Chris stepped into the doorframe and walked in slowly. He sat down on a neighboring chair and then handed me a bowl of pasta that had some garlic bread on the side with a fork upright in the middle.

“Eat,” He ordered gruffly. I knew he was still pissed beyond belief that I attacked her, anyone could see that, but I was just grateful that he wasn't cussing me out to high heaven right now.

“Thanks, but I’m not hungry right now,” I said, my voice slightly hoarse.

“I get what you mean… I’m not hungry either. Eating’s the last thing on my mind. I just came up here so that way Emily didn’t chew me out and shove it down my throat…” He said. “Plus being in the same room as Jade calms me down.”

I gave a slight nod in understanding. He was her brother and we both cared about her, we both loved her—given not in the same way, but we loved her equally.

“She’s doing better, she’s got more color,” I noted.

“Good,” He sighed, running a hand through his dark brown and shaggy hair. “I don’t want to lose her. Obviously you don’t either, but… I just don’t want to see her die. Not right now, not ever, and especially not at such a young age. She’s only seventeen.”

“She’s seventeen?”

He stared at me in disbelief. “How do you not know your imprint’s birthday?” He questioned.

“Never told me, I tried to get it out of her before but she wouldn’t speak a word.”

He chuckled. “That’s just like her, stubborn as a goddamn mule.”

“You have to love her for it though,” I shrugged and smiled at the unconscious beauty.

“Yea… you do,” He agreed. “She doesn’t like it when people spend money on her. She’s just… different.”

“Unique,” I corrected with a small smile.

He nodded. “I’m sorry for earlier, attacking you. It’s just that I don’t know if I could handle losing another person, especially since my dad’s gone now. I don’t know how I’ll handle being alone.” He explained.

“It’s alright; I would’ve done the same thing if someone ever did something to Jade to cause her pain. Well, I have already, but that’s beside the point. It’s understandable.” I sighed. “And even if she does… you know… you’ll still have us and Emily. You’re not really alone. We’re your brothers.”

He sighed and gave a nod. “Yea, you’re right. She’s all I’ve got left now though,” He took her hand in his and looked down at the floor.

Jade began to cough, lightly at first, but then it got more violent. I put my food down and stood up.

“Jade, Jade can you hear me?” I asked. She didn’t reply and so I turned to Chris. “Go get Carlisle—now!”

He nodded and bolted out the door, heading for Carlisle’s office. They came back and he looked at Jade. She gave one final cough and blood came out—I felt my stomach dropped, what was wrong with her…?

“What happened?”

“I don’t know, she just started coughing,” I shrugged.

“Do you know if was coughing up blood before?” He inquired.

“I think so, yea,” I nodded.

“She most likely has pulmonary aspiration, then,” He mused to himself and then began to get some of his things out.

“What are you doing? What’s pulmonary aspiration?” Chris asked, worry evident in his eyes.

“Pulmonary aspiration is when blood gets into the lungs. I need your help. You both are going to have to hold down Jade while I try and get the blood out with this tube.”

Chris held onto her legs so she would kick and I held onto her head so she couldn’t squirm around when the Doc was doing his procedure. He washed his hands quickly, put on sterilized gloves and walked over to us. He began to open her mouth and slid the tube down her esophagus. She immediately began to gag and squirmed around, attempting to get it out. I held her down tightly and I could feel tears prick my eyes.

'Why couldn’t I have controlled myself better?!' I scolded myself. 'Now she’s got to endure this pain!'

Carlisle pushed a button on the machine and I could hear the tube beginning to suck up any of the remaining blood in her lungs. She groaned and whimpered and tears slowly escaped her eyes that were shut tightly.

After five minutes of hell, Carlisle retrieved the tube and quickly put it away to be cleaned. Jade settled down and Chris and I looked at each other, pained expressions. We both hated doing that to her, to make her feel uncomfortable and in pain—but it was in her best interest so we had to.

“She should be in the clear now,” Carlisle stated. “Just call me if something else comes up.”

We sat down again and began to wait for her to wake up…

I just wanted to see her happy again…

-{}-

I sat at the table along with Chris and the rest of the pack. Emily had forced us downstairs and was making us eat her food. Under any other circumstances I would’ve been overjoyed, but not right now… not in this situation.

I poked at my food and Emily gave me a stern look. “Jacob, eat your food. No playing with it.”

She had been a bit more stern than usual on me, and I didn’t need anyone to tell me why. I had hurt her niece, and that meant that I had hurt Emily as well, which meant that Sam was not going to be all buddy-buddy with me later on… then again, he never was all buddy-buddy in the first place.

“Yes, Emily,” I nodded and began to eat again.

Chris finished his plate and then put it into the sink. I sighed and took another bite out of my food before pushing it away.

I couldn’t eat—not right now. Not when the love of my life was fighting for hers.

I heard blankets rustling upstairs, and I wondered what could be happening. Maybe the bloodsuckers were back…? No, their stench would be more unbearable…

I heard something fall to the floor and a groan.

My heart leaped and I darted out of my seat and up the stairs, Chris following behind me eagerly. I walked into the room to find Jade on the floor on all fours, coughing lightly.

“Jade, Jade are you alright? Please tell me you’re alright.” I pleaded, going onto the floor myself.

“I’m fine…” She wheezed, giving one final cough before she looked me in the eyes.

We stared at each other and I couldn’t help but engulf her in a hug. “I’m so sorry, Jade—I couldn’t control it! I was so stupid and selfish. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you—I swear!” I yelled.

“Jake… Jake, stop hugging me,” She whispered. “It hurts.”

I pulled away in a millisecond and looked at her with sympathy. “I’m so sorry, Jade.”

“I know you are… I know you are…” She nodded. “I’m sorry too… I shouldn’t have accused you of not loving me anymore. That was wrong of me to do so.”

“No it wasn’t, you were right. I was spending more time with Bella than you and that’s not right. You’re my imprint—you always come first.” I explained. “Please… please forgive me, Jade… I’m begging you.”

She took a deep breath, inhaling shakily. She hugged me back and nodded. “I do… I do forgive you.” She whispered shakily, and I felt tears soak my skin.

I smiled and hugged her back. “Thank you, Jade. I’m going to make it up to you. I swear on my life, I will.”

“You don’t need to,” She chuckled out.

“I want to,” I replied and stood up, picking her up in my arms and setting her back on the bed.

Chris was the next to bombard her with smiles, hugs and shouts of happiness and I just sat in the chair contently, breathing a little easier now.

After everyone had gotten everything out of their system, the rest of the Cullens came back and we were all going to be heading home.

The pixie-vamp, Alice, stared at the wall with a blank look on her face.

“Alice, what’s wrong?” Her mate, Jasper asked.

She didn’t reply right away, but soon she snapped out of it and looked at him with fear in her eyes. “They’re… they’re coming.”

“When?” Edward asked.

“Tomorrow…”