Only in the Moonlight Does This Feel Right

I stared at him and he stared back at me, the same intensity in his brown eyes.

Today was the big day. It was the day where everyone would find out if Bella Swan would live or die by Victoria’s hand. Half of me wanted Bella to come out fine, while the other half was secretly hoping that she would get hurt somehow—but I was keeping this half to myself. I didn’t want her to die though, she was still Jake’s friend and I had to respect that.

He took my hands in his and brought them behind his neck and let them go, letting his own hands then wander to my waist, pulling me close.

Our eyes didn’t leave each other’s gaze and he smiled.

“Stay close to Emily while I’m away. I don’t want anything to happen to you.” I nodded and he kissed my cheek. “Okay, I’ll be back soon. Promise.” He caressed my cheek. “I love you, Jade.”

“Love you, too, Jake.” I replied.

He smiled, kissed me quickly, and then began to shift when he got to the tree line. I flinched when I saw his reddish-brown coat of fur explode from his skin as I remembered the memory…

"A reddish-brown coat of fur exploded out from his skin and a menacing growl escaped his lips. Sharp claws ripped at my skin on my stomach and I felt the area grow wet with blood. I was pushed onto the ground and tears left my eyes."

I shook my head and then walked back inside the house, my face expressionless as I walked up the stairs. I closed my door behind me and then sat on my bed, pulling my knees up to my chest and letting my head rest on them tiredly.

I know I had said that I forgave Jacob—and I do, but… I just can’t find it in me to completely forgive him. I get that he has a short temper because of his shifting, but it still so shocking to know that he got that mad at me and ended up hurting me like that.

'Maybe I’m wrong.' I thought. 'Maybe I have forgiven Jacob completely and it’s just me…' I looked out the window and saw the world, it looked so beautiful and peaceful… how wrong that was. I think… 'I think I’m just afraid of Jacob.'

“That’s crazy,” I muttered. “I can’t be afraid of Jacob; he’s done so much for me. He’s saved my life and loves me.”

I relaxed on my bed, laying down on the soft sheets and getting into a comfortable position. Soon sleep came and took me away to escape from reality.

-{}-

Tears streamed down my face…

My body was wet in some parts with blood…

Pain was crippling me to the floor as I ran…

The fact that I had to keep going to survive was the only motivation that I needed to keep running though, and ignore the affliction my body was suffering.

'Gotta keep going, gotta keep running.' I kept telling myself.

A howl ripped through the air and I sent shivers down my spine. I felt myself pick up the pace and my heart pounded harder in my chest. More tears came from my eyes from fear and I quickly wiped them away to restore my vision.

I didn’t hear anything and I came to a slow stop.

I looked around and didn’t see any movement, so I leaned against a nearby tree and slid down it, sitting on the floor. I held my face in my hands and took deep breaths.

'He’s gone… he’s gone, Jade. Nothing will happen.'

I sighed out shakily and felt myself tense up when I heard a low growl. My head snapped up to see the reddish-brown coat of fur that I loved so much, the moonlight reflecting off it and looking even more hypnotic than it usually was. Right now though… the fact he was here sent terror throughout my body and made me want to scream in fear.

I jumped up and began to back away slowly, my eyes never leaving his malicious brown ones. He growled lowly and then jumped at me, his snarl ripping through the air and echoing in my mind…

-{}-

I shot up from bed and felt my heart pounding in my chest. I ran my hands through my hair and breathed out slowly, trying to calm myself down.

'Oh my God…' I thought and buried my head into my hands. 'I’m afraid of Jake.'

There was a knock on my door and I looked up as the door opened. Emily walked in with a small smile on her face.

“Hey,” She smiled. “I’m a little nervous about the boys; I just don’t want anything to happen to them.

“Me either,” I agreed. “Um… Emily?”

“What’s up?”

“When Sam attacked you on accident, and gave you those scars, were you… afraid of him at all?”

“You’re afraid of Jacob…”

“I think I am…” I nodded and looked down in shame—what kind of girlfriend was I to be afraid of my boyfriend who couldn’t control something…? “I feel so guilty about it…”

“You shouldn’t. To be honest, I felt the same way.” She said, looking at me with truthful eyes. “Something like that isn’t easy to get over. It takes time. It takes understanding.”

“But I know it wasn’t his fault and I forgave him.”

“Jade, just because you forgive him, doesn’t mean that the hurt still isn’t there.” She said. “Just talk to him, he’ll understand, and I know that he’ll definitely do everything he can to make it right.”

“I know, I just… don’t want it to happen again. I don’t want to see him that angry at me again.”

“It’ll be fine, he loves you, Jade.” She smiled. “Come on, let’s do something together.”

“What’s for dinner?” I asked.

“No clue, let’s just make what we have. I don’t want to think about the fight and cooking will get it off my mind.”

I walked over to the fridge and cabinet and found we were low on almost everything. “Um… Emily, we don’t have much to work with…”

She looked in and frowned. “Damn,” She muttered. “Well, I guess it’ll be alright if we go on and go to the market. What do you think?”

“I don’t see what could go wrong,” I shrugged.

She nodded. “Okay, but if we see anything suspicious we’re coming straight home.” She said and grabbed the Charger’s keys from the counter with a grin. I knew she was happy to be going out; we had both been pretty much held captive in here since everything was beginning to escalate.

We both walked out of the house, being very aware of the surroundings, and got in smoothly. Emily put the key into the ignition and soon we were driving towards the market. After the usual ten minute drive, we arrived and got out, grabbing a cart and heading inside.

“So want to grab the usual and what else we think we can make?” Emily asked.

“Sounds good,”

“Okay, well, why don’t you go get the bread from the bakery and then meet me at the produce?”

“Sure,” I nodded and then walked in the opposite direction.

I walked to the other side of the market, looked at all they had, and grabbed a loaf of wheat bread. I walked back towards the produce and when I was about to pass the last aisle to enter, I was yanked back by an arm, making me drop the bread on the floor.

I face Blake who wore a smirk. “Hey Jade, long time no see, right? I’m surprised that you got the guts to leave after Mathias went out to get blood. I thought you would’ve been eagerly waiting for Johnny and I to get back.”

“What are you doing here? You’re not stupid enough to pull something in public are you?”

“I could freeze this whole place and no one would know what happened. But I’m not…” he stated. “Now getting back to what I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted.” He eyed me up and down, that damned smirk coming back up on his lips. “Needless to say, when Johnny and I found out you were gone, we weren’t pleased. Then… we met a new friend of ours, and I’m sure you’ve met her, too. Her name’s Victoria.”

“What the hell are you doing, Blake?” I seethed.

“Hold on, hold on,” He ordered. “Victoria, as you’ve heard, is after that Bella girl. Your wolf pack and the Cullens are going to fight with her and the newborns today, and if I’m right, the newborns only just arrived a few minutes ago if everything is going according to plan.” He smiled. “For extra… reassurance, I guess you could say, we’re going to use you as leverage to make sure the mongrels are in line.”

“You son of a bi—”

“Sh,” He put his index finger over my lips and chuckled. “Don’t make me angry, Jade. You’re not the one who has the upper hand after all.” He guided me towards the produce and pointed out Emily. “There’s your Aunt,” he began and pointed at Emily who was inspecting the watermelons. “and there’s my friend, Johnny.” True to his word, Johnny was standing a few aisles away, staring at Emily with hate and cruelty in his eyes. “You try any funny business, I’ll have him snap her neck in an instant.”

“You’d actually try something out in public—are you that stupid?”

“You’re pushing it, Jade…” he warned. “I may just tell Johnny to kill her.”

“Don’t.”

“Then, you’re going to come with me and Johnny, and we won’t hurt her. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“Great! Johnny, come along.” Blake said enthusiastically and we began to walk out of the market, one vampire on each side of me.

They walked with me to the tree line and we walked about a good twenty feet in before Johnny hoisted me over his shoulder and they went speeding off.

-{}-

Things hadn’t been the same between Jade and I. It wasn’t right. Even though only a day had passed, there was something off about us.

'Fuck, Jacob, stop thinking about Jade! It’s so annoying!' Paul yelled.

'Shut your mouth, Paul!' I yelled back. 'Why don’t you stop thinking about my sister!'

'Well at least I don’t have any issues with Rachel like you do with Jade.'

I growled and looked at him with hatred in my eyes. 'Take that back, Paul.'

'Calm down, the both of you!' Sam ordered. 'We don’t have time to be arguing. Stay focused and act your age.'

Paul and I growled maliciously at each other but then continued heading towards the fields where the fight would take place. Needless to say, everyone was on edge. Anything would set off one of us, which would, in turn, make another one of us annoyed and it would continue on. It was a very vicious circle…

Once we got there, we saw the rest of the leeches there, minus Edward though, he was somewhere else with Bells—up on the mountain.

'Jake, go up and meet Edward and Bella like you’re supposed to.' Sam ordered.

I nodded and was soon sprinting up the land, heading to where they were camped out. Another five minutes passed before Edward’s stench hit me like a brick wall…

'Why can’t they at least smell decent? They’re already vile as it is…' I thought, my nose scrunching up in discomfort.

I changed into my human form, slipping on my Bermuda shorts and walking over to the tent. Bella came out just as I was about to look inside and smiled at me.

“Hey Jake,”

“Hi Bells,” I greeted back and gave her a small one armed hug. “Where is he?”

“Hunting,” She replied. “Jake, why do you love that girl? Does she mean more to you than me?”

I was shocked by her question—dumbfounded really. “Um… I love Jade because she’s all I could want and more. She’s my imprint.”

“Do you love her more than me?”

“I love you in a different way, Bells, you’re my friend, she’s…” I smiled. “She’s something more.”

“But what makes her so special?”

“Everything about her is amazing. I love her eyes the most. They’re just… hypnotic…” I trailed off. All this talk about Jade was making me day dream about having her here with me…

'Stay focused, Jacob.' I told myself.

“Jacob… she’s… ugly.” She said. That felt like a punch to the face. “She looks like a whore.”

“She’s not a whore, Bella,” I seethed angrily. “She’s the most beautiful thing on this planet.” I got up and began to walk away, I didn’t want to shift and accidentally hurt Bella like I had Jade. The simple thought of Jade being in pain because of me sent a sickening and displeasing emotion throughout me. “You seem fine; I’ll come back up when most of the newborns are done with.” I said and began to head back down to the tree line to phase.

“Jacob!”

I turned to see Bella running towards me quickly. She jumped up because of the height difference and her lips crashed onto mine. My eyes widened and I felt myself betraying Jade immediately. Anger pulsated through me.

Why was Bella kissing me—especially after me telling her how much I loved Jade?!

The spark that I had thought I would feel with her before Jade came into my life was no where and it was actually the opposite. I was becoming repulsed by her—she was just as bad as the leeches! I guess because she always swaps spit with one of them.

I pulled her away from her and stared at her in shock. “Don’t you ever… ever do that again, Isabella Swan. I have no more romantic feelings towards you.” I said, and began to head towards the trees again, spitting out the God awful taste of leech from my mouth as best I could.

Once arriving back at the fields, I noticed the fight was already in motion. The Cullens and the pack were fighting them off viciously, ripping off heads, arms, legs, soon making them nothing but a dead corpse. I joined in immediately and began to do my fair share of the fight, taking down as many bloodsuckers as I could while helping the rest of the pack and the Cullens if they ever needed any.

About 30 minutes passed and Leah killed off what seemed to be the last remaining newborn in sight. I sprinted away back towards Bella and Edward, Seth was with them, I knew that, but he was still the youngest to the pack—the baby.

He could only help so much if something happened…

The smell of bloodsucker was stronger than it was before and I felt myself pick up the pace. I ran out into the clearing to find Victoria and her follower, Riley, advancing on them. I jumped onto the boy along with Seth at the same time and tackled him into the trees, leaving Victoria up to Edward.

Needless to say, Riley was easily taken care of.

'We’re a minute away, Jacob, Seth. We’ll be there soon.' Sam declared.

'Got it.' I replied, and we began to make our way back to Edward, Victoria, and Bella.

As soon as we got there, the rest of the pack and Cullens were too.

“Give it up Victoria, you’re incredibly outnumbered,” Edward said.

There was a rustling in the trees and everyone’s head snapped towards the sound. Victoria smirked. “I may be outnumbered, but I’ve got some leverage on my side.”

“Put me the fuck down, damn it!”

My stomach plummeted. 'Jade…'

-{}-

My stomach was hurting from resting on it for so long. It must’ve taken us a good thirty minutes or so to arrive where we needed to be. I began to kick and punch Johnny everywhere I could.

“Put me the fuck down, damn it!” I screamed and we walked out into the clearing. As soon as we walked out of the horde of trees, I saw the large congregation of Kentucky Derby-sized wolves and chalk white vampires standing to the side. I looked at Jacob and he growled maliciously, sending memories of my dream from earlier back at me.

"I sighed out shakily and felt myself tense up when I heard a low growl. My head snapped up to see the reddish-brown coat of fur that I loved so much, the moonlight reflecting off it and looking even more hypnotic than it usually was. Right now though… the fact he was here sent terror throughout my body and made me want to scream in fear.

I jumped up and began to back away slowly, my eyes never leaving his malicious brown ones. He growled lowly and then jumped at me, his snarl ripping through the air and echoing in my mind…"

My head snapped away from him and my eyes stung with tears. 'Damn it, Jade, don’t think about that!' I scolded myself. 'Jacob would never hurt you on purpose! There’s no reason as to why you should be afraid of him!'

I shook away my tears as I began to squirm in Johnny’s tight grasp. “Put me down!”

“Sorry babe,” Johnny laughed out.

Jacob growled and snarled at Johnny with a new rage. I cringed at the loud sound he made…

Johnny handed me over to Victoria who kept a firm grip on my neck. “Thank you Johnny,”

“No problem, Victoria,” He smirked.

“Remember our deal, Victoria.” Blake reminded. “Come Johnny, let’s go.”

The two of them then disappeared into the trees, racing off with their inhuman speed. The pack began to slowly advance on Victoria, and she smirked, hoisting me up into the air.

“You get closer to me, she gets closer to death,” She warned, beginning to squeeze my neck tightly, making me cough violently They went back a few feet and she put me back onto the ground, her grip only lessening to the point where I could breath without too much difficulty. “Now, you hand over Isabella, and I’ll hand over Jade. Seems like a fair trade to me.”

Jacob snarled again, it ripped through the air like thunder, booming and echoing with ease. I flinched and looked at the ground remembering the dream once again.

'Goddamn it, Jade… stop being such a baby.'

“Jacob,” I heard Edward say, and he placed a hand onto his fur. Edward looked at me and then I looked away when Jacob looked at me. He whined softly and put his head down in shame. “Yes… but she still loves you and knows it wasn’t your fault.”

“I’ll have you know that this offer won’t last forever.” Victoria said. “It’s either Jade, or Bella. You have ten seconds to decide. After ten, that’s it. She’s dead.” Victoria began to count down, and everyone stared at each other in worry. They didn’t want to give up Bella for me, and I knew they wouldn’t want to give up me for Bella. It didn’t work that way. “Three… two… on—”

“Victoria!”

Everyone looked to the side to see a blond haired and green eyed vampire step through the shrubs and trees, coming into direct view. “Ah, Mathias,” Victoria smiled. “A message from Blake?”

“No, I wanted to see if you needed any help.”

She smiled. “Hold her,”

Mathias walked over, the pack growling hatefully at him when he passed them, and got me by the neck. His grasp was light and loose. I stared at him in confusion. I thought that he was different. I thought that I could trust him since he helped me get out of the cave Blake held me in that one night…

Mathias smiled and gave me a wink, those green eyes of his sparkling with sincerity. I smiled and felt myself become more at ease. I could trust him after all…

“Victoria,” He called.

She took a quick glance at him and her eyes widened in fear, she trembled, taking steps back, cowering. “Oh my God…” She kept repeating over and over again, mumbling it under her breath.

Edward cringed and looked frightened. I looked at Mathias and saw his eyes were glowing now—they were neon green.

Did he have an ability as well…?

The pack then took this as their cue to attack Victoria and so they began to rip her to shreds, leaving her in pieces. Jasper and Emmett set fire to her carcass and we all watched as the flames licked her body.

I was soon engulfed by Chris and he hugged me tightly. “Thank God you’re alright! I was so worried for you.”

“I was too,” I mumbled into his shoulder.

He helped me sit down on the ground and smiled at me. “I’ll be right back,” He said. “I’m going to talk to Sam really fast.”

I buried my head in my hands, and stared at the pack as they talked. Jacob was the only one who wasn’t in human form, he was slumped on the ground, staring at the floor with no interest. His brown eyes held emotions that I couldn’t make out though I could tell he was hurting, and he didn’t look at me once. I stared at the ground with guilt—why couldn’t I just keep how I felt a secret…?

“Jade, watch out!” I heard Seth yell.

My head snapped back up, one last newborn raced towards me, blood lust in it’s eyes and his mouth wide open, fangs long and ready to penetrate my skin. My heart raced, my stomach fell to my feet, and I felt absolutely helpless.

A blur of red and brown collided with the newborn. The newborn grabbed Jacob from the back, and a sickening crack was heard. Jacob whined and I felt tears run out of my eyes and cascade down my cheeks.

Chris shifted, his clothes ripping into shreds and attacked the newborn, killing it immediately. Jacob shifted back to his human form and was a good ten feet away from me.

“Jake!” I cried and crawled over to him, not caring that he was nude—that was the last thing on my mind.

“Jade… I’m so sorry for everything,” He whispered through his pain.

“It’s not your fault Jake,” I argued, and then looked away from him. “Carlisle can you do something?”

He nodded and was about to speak but was cut off by Alice.

“Carlisle, they’re coming…!” She said. “The Volturi…”

“You all must leave. If they find out that you’re here, they’ll start to search.” Carlisle stated. “Especially you Jade, if they know a human knows about vampires, they’ll try to kill you.”

“Jade, get on Chris’s back. Chris, get her home.” Sam ordered. “We’ll carry him. Can you come by tonight and try to help Jacob?”

“Yes,” Carlisle nodded. “Hurry, they’re coming.”

I got onto Chris’s back and soon went speeding off into the forest, the rest of the pack following behind.

-{}-

Chris went home and dropped me off. Emily was there and started bawling her eyes out when she saw I was fine. She thought that it was her fault for letting me walk away, which I convinced her that it wasn’t.

She wiped the last few tears away and looked at me with a small smile. “I couldn’t cook dinner, I was too worried.” She chuckled to herself. “I’m going to go to bed, I’m so tired.”

“Okay, goodnight, Em,” I smiled and gave her a hug. “I’m going to head on over to Jacob’s to see how he’s doing.”

“You take Christian,”

“Wasn’t leaving without him,” I replied.

She smiled, gave a nod and rushed up the stairs and into her room. I grabbed the keys from the counter and walked out with Chris. I began to drive with him towards Jake’s and I felt my anticipation grow.

“I’m sure that Jacob’s fine, Jade, he’ll pull through.” Chris said and put his hand reassuringly on my shoulder.

“I just hate the fact that I’m the reason he’s in pain.”

“Jade, he’s happy that he protected you—even if it meant causing him pain.” He explained. “You’re his imprint, and he’d go through hell and back for you—twice if necessary.”

I laughed and rolled my eyes. “I still feel horrible for it though, you can’t change that.”

The rest of the ride was silent and when we got to Jacob’s, I darted out of the car and to the pack who were standing outside, huddling around Billy.

“How is he?”

“Carlisle just got here.” Billy said, he looked torn to pieces and I felt sympathy for him. “Jacob wants to see you. He’s in his room.”

I nodded and then entered the house in a hurry, jogging down the hallway and into his room where Carlisle was examining his torso. He looked up and nodded at me.

“Hello Jade,” He greeted, as calm as per usual. “Jacob’s right torso is crushed; the bones are already starting to heal themselves, but their healing incorrectly. I’m afraid that I’m going to have to re-break the bones and align them to how they’re supposed to be.” He explained.

I walked over to Jacob’s face and kissed his lips softly. “I’ll be right here the entire time,” I said gently.

“I wouldn’t want it any other way,”

I looked at Carlisle and nodded. He gave a small and sad smile back and then began to crack his bones.

Jake nodded and I caressed his face gently, cooing softly to him, telling him that it would all be over soon, that I loved him, and I occasionally kissed him. Without even realizing it, I was crying into the crook of his neck.

I hated seeing Jacob in this amount of pain…

“That’s it, I’m sorry for hurting you Jacob, but I’ve realigned your bones and they should heal perfectly now.” He said. “If there are any complications, I’m just a call away.”

“Thanks,” Jacob murmured tiredly.

“Thank you, Carlisle, it means a lot.”

He smiled. “I’m happy to help. You’ve helped my family. I’m grateful for that.” With that he took his leave and I looked at Jacob sadly.

“I love you,”

“I love you, too,” Jacob said shakily. I kissed his lips softly and pulled away.

“I’m going to go home,” I stated, walking slowly towards the door. “I’ll come back first thing in the morning.”

He nodded in understanding. “Jade… there’s something I’ve got to tell you.”

“What is it?”

“Bella and I kissed…”

I stared at him in shock, letting his words sink in. Bella and Jake kissed…? The thing I was so worried about came true after he told me it wouldn’t.

“Jade… please say something…”

I looked him dead in the eyes. “I… I need some time…” I said, and walked out of the room and out the front door. I knew the pack had heard what Jake said because they sent me sympathetic looks. “I’m going home Chris.”

“Okay, be careful on the drive home,” he nodded.

“I will, don’t worry,”

I got into the Charger, started up the engine, and began to drive towards home. My mind was blank. I couldn’t comprehend that Jacob and Bella kissed. I didn’t want to think about it.

After five minutes, I got home and killed the engine, walking up to my room. I felt a ball form in my throat and I shook my head. You’re not going to cry, Jade. You’re not. I told myself repeatedly.

My phone buzzed and I looked at my phone, reading the new text.

"Jacob says he wants to talk to you, can you come back? – Chris"

I rolled my eyes and put my phone in my drawer. What was there to talk about? He cheated…

I didn’t want to talk to him for a while…

I needed to get away from all this. That was what I wanted—not even!—that was what I needed. Big difference.

I got out a duffel bag and began to pack some clothes for a few nights. I got out some money from my nightstand and put a few other belongings in there. I grabbed a sticky note and a pen, writing them a quick message: “I’ll be back in a few days. Don’t worry about me. Love, Jade.”

I put the bag’s strap over my shoulder, grabbed the keys, and walked out of the house. I got into the driver’s seat, putting my thing in the passenger seat next to me, and started up the engine.

After driving off of the reservation and onto the highway, I turned the radio on and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as Lady Gaga’s song “Brown Eyes” came on the air.

“In your brown eyes I walked away
In your brown eyes I couldn’t stay
In your brown eyes you’ll watch her go
Then turn the record on and wonder what went wrong
What went wrong
If everything was everything but everything is over
Everything could be everything if only we were older
I guess it's just a silly song about you
And how I lost you and your brown eyes
In your brown eyes I was feeling low
'Cause they’re brown eyes and you never know
Got some brown eyes but I saw her face
I knew that it was wrong
So baby, turn the record on, play that song
Where everything was everything but everything is over
Everything could be everything if only we were older
I guess it's just a silly song about you
And how I lost you and your brown eyes, brown eyes”

I started to cry when I heard the next verse…

“Everything was everything but baby, it's the last show
Everything could be everything but it's time to say goodbye, so
Get your last fix and your last hit
Grab your old girl with her new tricks
Honey yeah, it's no surprise that I got lost in your brown eyes
In your brown eyes, brown, brown eyes
Your brown eyes, brown, brown eyes
Got some brown eyes, brown, brown eyes
Your brown eyes”

I hit the steering wheel and shook my head in aggravation.

This was going to be one long trip…