Only in the Moonlight Does This Feel Right

“Jade…?” I whispered, staring at her brown eyes that looked darker and duller than I had ever seen them. “Jade… please…” my voice cracked as I softly shook her shoulder. “Don’t die… you can’t die!”

I looked up and saw Mathias and Chris holding Blake down on his knees. He kept trying to get free by squirming around in their grasp. I growled and my skin burst, fur exploded out in its place and I began to advance on him.

Saved him for you, Chris growled. Just make sure I get a piece.

I snarled and jumped at him, feeling his cold, rock hard flesh beneath my jaws. I ripped him to shreds, Chris joining in after a few minutes, and soon he was nothing but limbs.

“I’ll start a fire,” Mathias stated. “Take her to the Cullens, they may be able to do something. You’ll never know until you try.” He put her on my back and when she didn’t wrap her silky arms around my neck, I felt loneliness consume me, making me feel empty and like there was nothing to live for anymore…

After all, Jade was my life…

“Hurry, you can’t waste time.”

Not even a second passed before Chris and I went darting off through the trees heading towards the Cullens’.

Jacob… I’m so sorry… Seth thought with sorrow in his heart.

I didn’t respond to him, I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to admit that Jade could actually be gone. It was just far too much for me to comprehend.

We reached the Cullen home, and Chris shifted back, got into his clothes and carried her into the house. I changed and raced inside as well, not caring about the stench that always hit me like a ton of bricks.

I followed her scent up the stairs and into the usual bedroom where she was every time she was hurt. Carlisle was checking her, and when he was finished, he looked deep in thought.

He turned to me and shook his head slowly. “She’s… she’s dead.”

“No… no, she… she can’t be dead, Carlisle!” I shouted. “She can’t be! There—there—there has to be something you can do!”

“Chris told me her heart has been stopped for about a few minutes, I can’t do anything.” He sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“No! No! NO!” I bellowed. “You have to do something!! Can’t you… can’t you change her?! She was bitten already, shouldn’t she come back?!”

He looked confused. “She was bitten? There are absolutely no bite marks on her.”

“I watched that monster bite her neck and wrist!” I yelled. “Look—!” I shut up immediately when I saw that no teeth marks marred her beautiful skin. “Wha… what…? I saw him bite her… I saw it! She was screaming at me to help her and I couldn’t!”

“I saw it, too, Carlisle,” Chris added, walking into the room.

“How is this possible…?” Carlisle mused to himself.

“She drank something…” I mumbled. “She had me give her something to drink.”

“What was it?”

“I don’t know, it was clear and was in an old necklace from an old journal that was passed down for generations in her family.”

He looked at her and was once again brooding over my statement. “After you gave her the liquid, did she die immediately?”

“She started to cough and wheeze…” I felt a ball form in my throat as I remembered what happened. “Then she… she stopped breathing and her heart stopped… she… died.”

He rubbed my shoulder comfortingly, sorrow and sympathy in his clear blue eyes as he did so. “I’m sorry Jacob… but, I don’t know what could have killed her.” He said. “It’s a mystery.”

I stared at the floor, turned around and walked back down the stairs, leaving Carlisle and Chris alone in the room. I sauntered into the living room and collapsed onto the couch beneath me, putting my face into my hands.

Things had been so perfect earlier today…

And now they were excruciatingly heartbreaking and horrific…

How could this have happened…? I asked myself.

“Jake?” I turned to see Bella and I once again, buried my head into the palms of my hands. “Jake, why are you here? And why do you look so… depressed?”

“I’m so sorry, Jacob… sincerely sorry,” Edward mumbled.

“What—what happened?” Bella asked nosily.

“Go ahead. Tell her.” I muttered.

I didn’t want to talk right now. More specifically, I didn’t want to talk about Jade…

“It’s Jade… she’s… dead. Blake got to her and they weren’t able to protect her.” He explained and my hands balled into fists. “She’s upstairs…”

“Oh, Jacob… I’m so sorry.” She said, and for once, she sounded like she actually was telling the truth. It seemed as if she had no more negative feelings for her.

Such impeccable timing… I thought sarcastically.

Bella walked over and sat down beside me. “Jake, if you need someone to talk to or be there for you, I’m always an available shoulder.” She said, and rubbed my back soothingly.

“Thanks, Bells,” I grabbed her hand that rested upon my shoulder, squeezed it and then let it go, causing it to fall gently back into her lap.

How much longer was I going to last before I finally lost it all…?

-{}-

“I told you that you would have the upper hand,” my mother’s, voice rang out in the black abyss.

“What do you mean?” I questioned. “I’m definitely not with Jacob or the pack—I’m pretty sure that I’m dead.”

“You are,” She nodded, and I turned around to see her there with a smile on her pale lips, her red wavy hair framing her dark blue eyes and face perfectly.

“Then why are you so happy?!” I screamed. “I don’t want to be dead—I want to be with Jacob!” Tears stung my eyes and my voice began to crack. “Why is my being dead something to be happy about…?”

“Who said that I was happy about you being dead?” She looked at me puzzled, with hurt in her eyes. “I’m not, Jade… I don’t want you to be dead. I want you to be happy and alive with your brother and your friends. I want the absolute best for you…”

“Why did you tell me to take the liquid in the necklace when you knew that it would do this to me then?”

“Jade, the thing is that I didn’t know what would happen with that vial. I just knew that it would be in your best interest.”

“How?”

“Do you remember in the first pages of the diary, some were ripped out?” I nodded slowly in response. “I was the one who ripped those out.”

“Why—what did they have?”

She reached inside her pocket and pulled out a paper that was yellowing with age, putting it into my hands delicately. “Read,”

October 31, 1789

Dear Journal,

It’s been a bit more than two months since my mother has been deceased. Her absence still sends sorrow throughout every vein in my body. The one thought that comforts me, is knowing that she’s away from a world such as this one.

Yesterday, I met someone at dinner. I met the man I would be wed to—an arranged marriage of course. His name is Blake Forrester. He seems to have all the qualities of a gentleman, and is quite kind. I feel that I may not be as reluctant to marry him if he continues to act as such.

After meeting Mr. Forrester, my father turned to me and guided me into our home. He told me that if my life was ever in any danger with Blake, to use a necklace that he gave me at that time, saying that it would protect me. After he told me how to use it, he told me he was leaving, and would never be coming back.

I asked him why over and over again, but he never answered me. Soon after my pleading with him to stay, he just walked out the door and out of my life forever.

I looked at the necklace and sobbed my heart out for another loss of mine.

I’m still praying that my father will live safely.

Sincerely yours,

Amelia

“So this was how you knew the necklace would be able to save me?” I asked.

She nodded and then handed me another. “Read this one, too,”

December 31, 1789

Dear Journal,

It’s been two months, and I’ve been getting to know Blake Forrester well—a little too well in fact. I’ve found out a horrible and frightening truth. Blake Forrester is a monster—the kind that killed my mother. He’s a vampire.

He doesn’t know that I know, and I don’t intend on him finding out that I do. That would more than likely cost me my life.

I found him in the act. I saw him sinking his fangs into a poor innocent girl about my age, and she died before my eyes. I pray that she’s in a safe place now.

I’m escaping tonight and heading to another town to get away from Blake. Hopefully I will not be bothered by him or any other vampire for the rest of my days.

Sincerely yours,

Amelia

I looked back up at my mother, who began to talk. “After that, Amelia escaped, got married to a man she loved, and had children. Blake found out about her whereabouts, but she had already passed by the time he got there. He found out about her kids and began to kill them off—infuriated that she got married to another man, more specifically, a human.” She sighed. “Our ancestors have always had children before Blake murdered them, and so we were lucky to have even been born. I was so happy that I had you with your father—so happy.” Her eyes got teary at the thought. “I thought that I wouldn’t be able to have a child of my own before my life ended. I felt complete the moment I held you.”

“I love you, mom,” I smiled.

“I love you, too, baby,” She replied.

There was a blinding light and I covered my eyes immediately, tears escaped from being shoved into nothing but a white environment and I felt cold.

-{}-

I couldn’t take it anymore. I stood up from the sofa and then walked out of the house, leaving my pack and Bella and Edward in slight shock and confusion.

I didn’t want to be in such a depressing environment…

I walked into the forest and then sat down on the roots of a tree. I took a deep, shaky breath and then remembered my first encounter with Jade.

I was just getting off of my patrolling duty, ending my shift. I changed back and slipped my clothes on before walking out of the trees and into the clearing where Sam and Emily’s house was less than twenty feet away.

I could hear a few new voices, and I was sure that it must’ve been my imagination. No one new ever came to La Push. Ever. It just didn’t happen.

The enchanting smell of Emily’s delicious pasta could be smelled from outside and my stomach was growing more eager by the second. I was really hungry, and her cooking always did the trick. Emily was good enough to possibly be on the Food Network channel…

I walked up the porch and inside the house, the smell hitting me like a ton of bricks—which was actually quite enjoyable. “There you are,” Sam said after swallowing a large load of pasta. “Go get yourself a plate and sit down.”

Without having to be told anything else, I walked into the kitchen. I noticed a boy who I didn’t know who was sitting at the table, eating tamely compared to the rest of the pack, and didn’t bother to question who he was or where he’d come from. I was far too hungry for any of that…

I was staring at the floor as I walked inside the kitchen, and I heard someone delicately clear their throat.Who the hell—? I thought, beginning to pull my head up from the ground.

As my head went up, I evaluated this girl before me. She was probably average height, but I couldn’t exactly tell because of my own towering height. She had a curvy body that looked a bit athletic, but nothing like she worked out every day. She had very fair skin that would make her stick out like a sore thumb compared to us La Push residents. And when I stared into those damned, deep brown eyes that looked like they lit up when our eyes met…

I saw things.

Things any normal teenage boy wouldn’t see. I saw a family. I saw kids. I saw a goddamnring for crying out loud!

“Here’s a plate,” She said, her voice excruciatingly melodic that I just wanted to smile like an idiot on the spot. What the hell was wrong with me…?

It seemed that I couldn’t help myself though, and I sent a small smile her way. I reached for the plate, and took it within my grasp; I could tell that my fingers were so close to her own, and a small spark of electricity went throughout my hands, shocking me to say the least—figuratively and literally. I couldn’t believe that this girl had such an effect on me!

I hadn’t expected the jolt, and so in slow motion I watched as the ceramic plate flew from my hands and towards the ground, shattering upon impact.Goddamn it, Jacob! I blew up on myself.Pull yourself together, damn it!

We both immediately went to the ground and began to pick up the small pieces of the plate in silence.

“Ouch,” I heard her whisper to herself and her hand retracted itself quickly from one large piece of clay.

“Are you alright?” I found myself asking quicker than I could register what even happened. Plus… why did I care so much?

“Um, yea, it’s just a small cut,” She responded with a quick shrug to dismiss the matter.

I looked at the damn piece of clay with a deadly glare and wanted nothing more than to just throw it as hard as I could against the wall to destroy it even further. I then realized that doing so would only create more of a mess, so I decided against it. We picked up the pace once hearing a few people shift in their seats and a chair scoot out from the table.

“What happened?” Emily’s voice entered our ears soundly as she walked inside the kitchen.

“I was handing the plate to… him,” I felt the urgent need to tell the girl my name—I hated that she didn’t know it and was referring to me as ‘him’. “And I accidentally lost my grip on the plate. He tried to grab it, but it fell. I’m sorry, Emily.”

Was she for real—was she really taking the blame for my stupidity? I felt guilt swarm over me and I wanted to bash my head in. I hoped that she didn’t get in trouble for this; if she did I’d really go over the edge.

“It’s fine, honey, no harm done.” She concluded with her usual and forgiving smile.

“Actually, she cut her hand, where are the bandages?” I asked, finally voicing my concern.

“Inside the left cabinant, are you alright?”

I walked towards the cabinant and began to sort through the miscellaneous items, looking for the first aid kit. The faster I found it the more relieved I would feel about her cut.

“Yea, it’s just a small cut,” She replied to Emily.

“Come over here and rinse that out,” Emily instructed.

I took in into my grasp and walked over. I turned the faucet off and Emily left once seeing that I would take care of the wound. I took her hand gently in my own and the jolt I felt before raced throughout my entire body this time and it didn’t seem to leave. As long as I held her hand I could still feel it. I applied pressure on the cut with some gauze and then taped it down after a few minutes. I was taking a bit longer than needed to just have an excuse to hold her hand—that and I wanted to make sure that there wouldn’t be any problems.

“I’m sorry,”

“What do you mean? This wasn’t your fault?” She stared at me in confusion with her large brown orbs.

“No, but if I had just gotten a better grip, it wouldn’t have shattered in the first place.” I retorted.

“It’s alright, really,” She replied, and I felt myself become more at ease knowing that she had forgiven me. “Thanks,” She smiled once I had let go of her hand, finally finished bandaging it.

She handed me a new plate and I left the kitchen eagerly. It was such an awkward moment in there—apparently it was the same at the table as well. The pack was smiling to themselves, looking like they wanted to laugh. Even Sam was sniggering to himself.

Oh no… I thought. No… I couldn’t have—! Oh shit… I imprinted on her… I stared at the plate in defeat. I can’t like her though—I love Bella! I felt like bashing my head into a wall. I tried to think of Bella the whole way through dinner, but I found myself actually looking at the girl from across the table.

The leaves crunched beneath my feet as I moved them and I banged my head into the tree trunk behind me. Who knew that I would end up choosing her over Bella and loving her like this…? I sure as hell didn’t, and I didn’t think I ever would after she found out about what I truly was.

I am… was… so lucky to have her.

This feels so wrong to be talking about her in past tense… I growled. Why couldn’t I have been able to protect her…?! I spun around and then punched the tree, leaving a large indent on the poor plant.

“Jade…” I whispered, my voice quivering. “What the hell am I going to do without you…?”

How was I going to survive…?