Love Until It Hurts

When Monday finally rolled around, I didn't know whether or not to be happy or worried. Should I be happy that Bella would be in her own house? Should I be nervous to see what would happen with us and his feelings? All I did know is that I wouldn't make it through the full school day, which is why I was glad Mondays are the days where I take my own car to class.

As I brushed my teeth, slower then most mornings, all I thought about was how my stomach was in knots. How I didn't even know if I could still call Jacob my boyfriend, which completely broke my heart. I almost regretted saying anything, that maybe if I kept my mouth shut I would still be confident when saying I was with the love of my life.

I tried shaking my jitters off when I grabbed my backpack and left my house. I was stopped quickly when I saw Jacobs tall frame pacing back and forth on my houses walk way. He stopped suddenly as he heard my door short. When we made eye contact, we both walked closer and stopped half way.

"hey." I was the one who spoke first as Jake looked too frustrated to say anything first. He continued to look into my eyes and it felt like forever until he spoke.

"Hi." he finally managed to stutter out. We stood there quietly as neither of us could figure out what to say.

My eyes wandered my street as I felt Jake staring at me and I couldn't make myself look him in the eye. "i don't know what to say." I finally looked at him as he spoke.

"I don't really have anything to say, Jacob. I said everything I had to Friday." it was true. There was nothing left to say, I didn't feel like I needed to apologize, I didn't think I did anything wrong.

"so you were serious? About not caring anymore?" his voice was soft and sad as he talked. He reached out for my hand and I let him hold it. He stared at them connected for a minute before looking back at me, waiting.

"Of course not, Jake. You mean so much to me. I-I-I." I couldn't finish my sentence as my voice was a soft as his and it still cracked a little bit. I had yet to tell Jake that I loved him and was still to afraid to.

"skip school with me today, Kate. Come back to the reserve for a bit, Billy went fishing for the day." I didn't even argue, instead I walked around him and got in the passenger seat of his car, noticing the instant soft smile that found its way to his lips as he got in the drivers side.

The ride was silent as we drove up, the only noise was the radio quietly playing in the background. When we pulled up to his house we both sat in the car, neither making a move. It must have stayed like for a few minutes until i turned to face him, and once he noticed my movement, Jacob did the same.

He didn't protest as I slid over so I was next to him, thankfully the drivers seat and passenger seat were connected, and I put his arm around me while I looked up at him to say something.

"I'm so sick of fighting with you Jake. We've never fought this much, ever. Be friends with who you want, I don't want to be that controlling bitchy girlfriend, but please don't forget about me." He answered me by leaning down until our foreheads were connected and then our lips. My hand slid up and rested on his cheek and his hand went down and held me by the small of my back. When we finally tore apart Jake shook his head against mine, as our foreheads were still touching.

"I could never forget about you, Katie. I just don't get why you can't trust me more, but you don't have to worry anymore anyways. I don't want Bella getting between us again." His voice was gentle as he spoke and as I stared into his eyes i could tell something was up.

"I'm sorry, I'll try more Jacob, I really will. You've never done anything for me not to trust you." I paused for a minute before continuing. "Why? What did she do?" I was nervous to see what happened. Did she try to kiss him? Did she tell him that she wanted him now? I could have only imagined what she did and I instantly regretted leaving that fire and leaving them alone.

"She just said something that I didn't care for." I started at him for a minute longer before he gave in and told me. "She said I deserved better, that she thought I was settling. After that she stayed the weekend at Emily's." he must have seen how angry I was, how I was biting my tongue from yelling everything I thought of her because he quickly added "But don't be mad, Katie. I don't care what she thinks, I know how I feel and that's all that matters."

I took a deep breathe and nodded my head trying my hardest to fight the urge to go back to school. To find Bella and tell her everything I thought.

"Let's just go inside, it's getting cold." I said before leaning forward and attaching our lips.