Note to Self: Just Breathe

It was around noon; I still hadn’t moved from where I lay earlier but I knew that everyone was home—Cohen included.

I heard Cohen laughing at something Scarlett had said and it disgusted me the way he could continue like nothing was wrong.

But something was wrong; he had raped me and beaten me, leaving me with £70 like I was a prostitute—or trying to buy my silence.

I heard Blakes voice downstairs and Cohen telling him I was upstairs, probably felling unwell.

I heard him clumping up the stairs, and my bedroom door opening.

I felt him sit down on the bed beside me and he stroked my hair from my face.

“Willow?”

I slowly turned around to face him, and his eyes bulged as he took in my frayed state.

“Willow?! Willow, what’s wrong?!” He asked frantically.

I shook my head. “You’ll hate me,” I murmured into my pillow.

“Hate you? Why would I hate you?” He asked me, his head cocking to the side.

“I did something terrible,” I murmured again.

“I’m sure it was nothing terrible; nothing you ever do it bad. That is why I love you,” he told me. “And I will never hate you; I promise. So come on. You can tell me.”

“Last night...” I gulped. “Last night I had sex with Cohen,” I told him. “But-“

He cut me off. “What?! This is some stupid joke, Li-Li, and to be honest, it isn’t funny,” He starred at my face long and hard, deciding I was actually telling the truth.

“Why would you do that?” He whispered to himself more than me.

“I was drunk. I don’t know why I agreed, but after I said yes he-“ I cried.

“No!” His face was livid and for the first time ever, when I looked in his eyes I didn’t see lust or love; I saw pure hatred. “Why?! You told me you loved me and-“

“I do love you!” I pleaded desperately.

“No you don’t! You fucked another man, and not just a stranger but your soon to be brother-in-law! I gave you my heart! And you just ripped it to shreds like that!” He clicked his fingers.

“You’re not the girl I thought you were,” he told me quietly. “I never want to see you again.”

“You don’t mean that,” I told him, begging.

“I do. I can’t stand looking at you; you disgust me.” He stormed out after that. I stood up quickly—too quickly. My whole body screamed in agony but I ignored it, rushing after him.
I still moved slowly on the stairs, and when I reached the bottom I was greeted by the sight of Blake in the kitchen with the rest of my family.

“What’s going on?” Scarlett asked.

“Ask your sister.” Blake spat. “Or even better you can ask your loyal fiancée. I’m sure they can give you a detailed description of what went on, can’t you?” He said, turning to face me but still avoiding eye contact.

“What do you mean?” Scarlett asked.

“They had sex last night.” He opened the back door. “Don’t bother contacting me. You mean nothing to me, I hate you.”