Status: Complete :')
Note to Self: Just Breathe
Recovery
2 weeks had passed since Blake and I last talked and I had been out of the hospital for a week. I had been ungrounded and you would only ever find me eating a slice of dry toast. I hadn’t had my period in a month, but that could be down to weight loss.
My mother’s condition was deteriorating. Stress related I believe. She still refused to speak to me; it was my dad who did all the talking.
I still hadn’t heard from Blake, but Aidan had told me that he was moving away on August 28th, 2 weeks time. Although my parents had confiscated my TV and my laptop, I still had my deceased brother Lucas’ laptop. It was painful to go on it at first, knowing he was the last to have touched it and to see all the photos of him, knowing how excited he was for the birth of his little girl, but I thought of it more as shrine of his life.
I would speak to a girl named Ashley. I had told her my whole life story and she was there for me, giving me advice and such.
I was at Aidans, getting ready for a party tonight. It was a friend of his throwing the party and he had invited me. It was 5, the party started at 9; giving us plenty of time to get ready.
I dressed in a gold dress, wearing a pair of gold pumps to match. I curled my hair for the occasion, putting on a little mineral foundation and layering my lashes in mascara.
I tried to look like I wasn’t hurting on the inside. Like Blake didn’t matter. But he did. He was in my every thought while I was getting ready. Would Blake like this dress? Would he tell me I didn’t need to wear so much make up?
I was interrupted when Aidan came in, wearing baggy boy jeans, a bright green top with a bright pink cardigan with green sunglasses. On anyone else it would look stupid, on him he looked nice.
I smiled and turned back to put the finishing touches to my makeup. “Right, I’m ready,”
He came and stood next to me in the mirror. He put his hand to his hair and rubbed it so it was a mess.
I burst out laughing, grabbing his hand and walking out the front door. It was a 10 minute walk and it was a warm night. We was having a laugh and talking about stupid things, until he rather abruptly changed the subject.
“You know what I think?” Aidan asked. “I think you’re a very lonely girl.”
My grin faded and I looked down at the floor. “Yeah...I guess I am,” I told him quietly.
He took my hand in his and we walked the rest of the way silent, engrossed in our thoughts.
We soon reached the party and saw that it was already jam packed.
Aidan pulled on my hand and we went through to the kitchen. He passed me a shot of vodka which I downed in one go, already feeling the affect it had on me.
I downed even more and some girl came and claimed Aidan, leading him to a bedroom upstairs.
I smirked and when he glanced my way I winked at him.
“I hope you have some condoms, Aidan,” I called after him. He stuck his middle finger up at me and I giggled.
“I do,” I heard a voice say from behind me. I turned around and saw a guy around 16, smirking at me. He was around my height if a little taller; he had pale skin and dark blonde hair; he was just your average guy—nothing to Blake.
“Then I’m glad,” I told him.
He held his hand out for me to take and led me to the dance floor.
He pulled me to the middle of all the grinding bodies; I put my arms around his neck and danced around him, occasionally pulling him to me for a heated make out.
About 3 songs passed until he pulled me to a bedroom.
My mother’s condition was deteriorating. Stress related I believe. She still refused to speak to me; it was my dad who did all the talking.
I still hadn’t heard from Blake, but Aidan had told me that he was moving away on August 28th, 2 weeks time. Although my parents had confiscated my TV and my laptop, I still had my deceased brother Lucas’ laptop. It was painful to go on it at first, knowing he was the last to have touched it and to see all the photos of him, knowing how excited he was for the birth of his little girl, but I thought of it more as shrine of his life.
I would speak to a girl named Ashley. I had told her my whole life story and she was there for me, giving me advice and such.
I was at Aidans, getting ready for a party tonight. It was a friend of his throwing the party and he had invited me. It was 5, the party started at 9; giving us plenty of time to get ready.
I dressed in a gold dress, wearing a pair of gold pumps to match. I curled my hair for the occasion, putting on a little mineral foundation and layering my lashes in mascara.
I tried to look like I wasn’t hurting on the inside. Like Blake didn’t matter. But he did. He was in my every thought while I was getting ready. Would Blake like this dress? Would he tell me I didn’t need to wear so much make up?
I was interrupted when Aidan came in, wearing baggy boy jeans, a bright green top with a bright pink cardigan with green sunglasses. On anyone else it would look stupid, on him he looked nice.
I smiled and turned back to put the finishing touches to my makeup. “Right, I’m ready,”
He came and stood next to me in the mirror. He put his hand to his hair and rubbed it so it was a mess.
I burst out laughing, grabbing his hand and walking out the front door. It was a 10 minute walk and it was a warm night. We was having a laugh and talking about stupid things, until he rather abruptly changed the subject.
“You know what I think?” Aidan asked. “I think you’re a very lonely girl.”
My grin faded and I looked down at the floor. “Yeah...I guess I am,” I told him quietly.
He took my hand in his and we walked the rest of the way silent, engrossed in our thoughts.
We soon reached the party and saw that it was already jam packed.
Aidan pulled on my hand and we went through to the kitchen. He passed me a shot of vodka which I downed in one go, already feeling the affect it had on me.
I downed even more and some girl came and claimed Aidan, leading him to a bedroom upstairs.
I smirked and when he glanced my way I winked at him.
“I hope you have some condoms, Aidan,” I called after him. He stuck his middle finger up at me and I giggled.
“I do,” I heard a voice say from behind me. I turned around and saw a guy around 16, smirking at me. He was around my height if a little taller; he had pale skin and dark blonde hair; he was just your average guy—nothing to Blake.
“Then I’m glad,” I told him.
He held his hand out for me to take and led me to the dance floor.
He pulled me to the middle of all the grinding bodies; I put my arms around his neck and danced around him, occasionally pulling him to me for a heated make out.
About 3 songs passed until he pulled me to a bedroom.