You Are the Cream Filling in My Twinkies

Tonight was the night.

The night my virginity died.

To be honest I was scared shitless. For one, I packed a set just in case I did decide I was ready and I knew I would be embarrassed. Sure Jack has seen me in a bathing suit and in my bra and underwear, but, I knew I would feel awkward because I knew this was different.

The second reason was because of more embarrassment. I felt childish for being jittery and embarrassed, but Jack said it was all right because I had a reason to be.

Maybe Casey was right. I was afraid of sex because of my Mom. I knew that had been an issue between Jack and I for a while and I knew it just wasn’t because I wasn’t ready, it was because I was afraid.

“Jerry, come out.” Jack laughed.

“No, you’re gonna laugh.” I said from behind the door. “I feel so stupid right now.” I said banging my head on the door regretting myself for wearing the pink lingerie. I hated pink what was I thinking.

“Don’t feel stupid it’s ok.” He tried to reassure.

“You’re only saying that because you’re horny.” I said.

“No, I’m not, look come out please.” He said.

I bit my bottom lip and peaked my head out the door. “Come on babe.” He said trying to get me out.

“This is so embarrassing.” I muttered to myself.

I slowly opened the door and looked down not wanting to see his reaction.

“Go ahead, say somethi-.” I said looking up and stopping when I saw his expression. “Jack?” I asked snapping him out of his daze.

“You… you um…”

“Is it that bad?” I asked worried.

“No! You look… Wow.” He said.

“Really?” I asked still embarrassed as he moved closer.

“Yeah.” He smiled kissing me and holding my waist. “As a matter of fact, I’m a little turned on.” He said on my lips.

I wrapped my arms around his neck as the kiss progressed and he walked us to the bed. He put his hand on my lower back and lay me down.

“Are you sure?” He asked hovering over me.

I sat up a little and kissed him to show him I was sure. He kissed my neck and slid off the slip slowly.

“Jack.” I moaned a little.

“What, did I do something?” He half panicked.

“No, it just feels good but I can stop if you want me too.” I said in the same tone as him.

“No don’t.” He half smiled.

I laughed a little before he kissed me again. After 20 minutes of somewhat awkwardness we were almost ready to… well yeah.

“I’m going very slowly.” He promised.

I nodded. “If I hurt you let me know please. I don-.”

“Jack, don’t worry.” I laughed a little kissing his cheek.

And death to the virgin.

~#~

“That was worth the wait.” Jack said when I was lying on him. “Thanks.”

“For what?” I laughed a little.

“For 1, an amazing night. For 2, wearing what you wore. For 3 being my girlfriend. For 4, letting me take you here and 5, making me wait.”

“I should thank you instead actually.” I said.

“Why?”

“Because you actually waited and didn’t get mad.”

He looked at me seriously. “Jerr I would have waited however long it took. Like I said before, I’m not loosing you over bull shit.”

I kissed him as he pulled me closer. “You won’t.”