I Hate That I Love You

Four Years Later

Bailey

Jake is crying. I hurry down the hall, once again glad to have his room downstairs instead of up, because I'm down here more often. "Coming, sweetie!" I call to let him know he's not alone after his nap. I wipe the sweat from my forehead as I nearly trip over both of our dogs. "Down," I command them.

I swear they love my kids almost as much as my kids love them.

"Hey," I coo, opening the door to my year old baby boy. Smiling, I watch him clap his hands happily. "How's Jakob Daniel, now?" I hand him his bottle, scooping him up from his bed. "Guess this means you're up for the day." Bouncing him lightly, I check the clock on the wall, lit by the sun's rays from the open window. It's late summer and we're enjoying the warmth here in LA. My heart quickens with anticipation, realizing the time. "Someone slept late," I laugh as Jake looks at me through his big brown eyes.

Just like his daddy.

I can't help but smile, and he starts smiling as well. His free hand nimbly pulls at my long hair and I suppress a small groan. Of course, I should get used to it, since my daughter does it as well. She's always calling me a Queen and trying to brush my hair. I just haven't found a good enough reason to make her stop just yet.

As if she knows I'm thinking about her, she starts yelling- she has her dad's lungs, I think. "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!"

Swearing under my breath some words I hope Jake doesn't learn- of course, we are pretty much raising the kids on Alex's music and every album ever made in the eighties. I heave him up over my hip and peak my head out the door. "Sunny?" I pause, because it's suddenly quiet.

Now I'm imagining someone kidnapping her or her running off outside, front or back- and neither sounds very appetizing. Ignoring the yapping dogs, I hurry down the hall. "Sunny! Sun-" I'm brought up short at the front door I never heard open.

"Daddy!" Jake drops his bottle, spotting him as well.

A wave of relief crosses over into an inward giddiness. My eyes probe him immediately not just how great he always looks, but I'm always inwardly afraid of any changes. But I see his shabby clothes, the messy hair, the familiar bags and that same smile and twinkle in his eyes. He throws a laughing Sunny into the air before setting her down. She sits on his foot, wrapping her limbs around his leg as we look at each other.

I hate to say this, but it's like we fall in love all over again, just with one look. His grin widens and easily strolls over with a kid hanging on him. Down the front step, past the crazy dogs and after a quick smooch to the baby who he sets down, he wraps me in his arms.

The smell of smoke, sweat and Alex engulf me in seconds, but I couldn't care less. My heart pounds as I grin, burying my face in his neck as he spins me around easily. "I missed you so much," he breathes huskily, pulling away to press our foreheads together.

I feel Jake standing and clutching my jean leg for support, wanting in on the family hug. Similing, I wrap my arms around his neck. "I missed you, too."

"I want to bring all of you on tour with me all the time."

I have to laugh, pulling back and shaking my head. I scoop up Jake and drag everyone to our comfortable couch. "I can see it now," I tell him sarcastically, "bathing the kids in the sink, running around the crowds without diapers and becoming drinkers before they can ride a bike."

"I can!" Sunny pipes up with that perfect pout of hers. Alex ruffles her hair with a smile, because he's still completely wrapped around her finger- and who knows? Maybe he always will be. But even now, she's realizing that affect and using it to her full advantage.

I have to grin. "Sun, only with your wheels. Remember last time?"

She nods, pointing to her boo-boo.

Alex spends a minute gasping and kissing it before turning to his little boy who he's always making promises to, about teaching him to play instruments and the crazy like. Jake is more than happy to see him, freely letting go of me to hang onto Alex's shirt.

I watch him interact with both kids with a large smile on my face. It's our family. I mean... thinking back, after everything, going through everything... I never thought this was possible, in any shape or form. It never seemed like I would have much of a future. But now? I have one... I have a great present as well, here at home.

Things have changed a little- we only go out to clubs on our 'date nights' which happen about twice a month. All our friends, even those starting their own families- Missy's about to have her first kids- twins!- are all willing to baby sit the kids for a short while to let us have some together time.

True, Alex tours now and then, since the band has done so well. But the longest they go is a month at a time, and I think the boys are beginning to realize that their dreams are turning into something else. I think he'll stick with the music industry and sign with a label as an executive or something. It's what I do, after all. There's a small Indie label that's building up and I do online marketing for them, something I can do at home while watching the kids.

"Mom and dad will be here soon," Alex is suddenly nosing into my neck and hair, his warmth breath on my bare shoulder. I wrinkle my nose at his words. They've actually been a great help with the kids, thank goodness. But they still creep me out a little... anyways, it's their anniversary and they wanted to come see us for the occasion. That is, at least to see their two grandkids.

"I think they'll let us out again," I chuckle, closing my eyes as he drops kisses near my earlobe. "Aaaalex," I whine. "Not now." But I'm not stopping him as our fingers entwine.

"It's time for another date," he chuckles. "Or a kid."

I snort, kissing his nose and giving him a look. "I thought two was enough."

"I was thinking about ten..." he grunts when I punch him in the stomach. "I hate when you do that."

Pouting, I kiss his cheek twice. "Sorry." And again. "But not that many kids. Sunny's loud and crazy and Jake likes attention. You'll have to be home more if you want more kids." Speaking of whom, are fiddling with Alex's shoes- probably tying the laces together like I taught them last week- and I lean on him, wrapping my arms around him.

"Mmmm four?"

"Three."

"Eight."

"Four it is," I sigh, resting my head on his shoulder to pause from the kisses. Closing my eyes, I just sit there for a moment. The dogs are quiet, the kids are giggling- something that immediately brings a smile to my face because I love them more than I ever thought possible- and Alex is right here, with me.

He kisses my forehead and I sigh again.

"Something wrong?"

I peak my gaze up, seeing his eyes crinkle in concern. I smile, and shake my head. "No..." I shift a little, getting more comfortable as I glance down at our two tiny munchkins. "Everything's just right." I feel him kiss my forehead one more time, squeezing me in agreement.

Everything is perfect.