Set Me Free

It’s been a week and everything went back to normal, well...almost. Dad hasn’t hit me in the entire week, if anything, he’s been almost nice to me...O.O. Drew hasn’t tried talking to me again, but whenever I would look at him, he would turn his head away quickly. It was as if he was staring at me. I don’t know for sure though. He and Echo aren’t doing so well anymore. They rarely hang out anymore and whenever they do, Drew’s always so distant and never talks, he just sulks there and I think it’s getting on Echo’s nerves a little. Jenny’s still her bitch self and Keegan hates me. Jorge went back home just a day ago, he had to go back to work and not to mention that he was still in university (he’s only 23). Mom went away on vacation two days after I was released from the hospital and still isn’t back; not that I cared if she ever decided to come back. Felicity hasn’t really tried talking to me either, she seemed quieter than usual and every time I would see her, the incident when she kidnapped me would come back to my head. Every time I saw her, the question of what Drew had said to her would burn my insides. It was painful, but there was nothing I could do; I’m not mean enough to ask her about it, it was painfully obvious that she was in no mood to talk about it. I’d wave at her whenever I saw her though and she always politely waved back.

It was another boring day, another boring Tuesday. I was currently in art, my last period, waiting for the damn bell to ring. We were supposed to be working on our abstract self portraits, which I didn’t even bother starting. I frankly sucked at art; I’m still wondering why I took the class in the first place.

Drew no longer sat directly in front of me; he sat all the way at the front and had his head down on his desk. It would be a lie if I said that I wasn’t worried about him. He might’ve broken me into pieces, but I still thought he was too beautiful to be broken himself. Someone like him should never have to go through any kind of pain.
It was those thoughts that once again distracted me and caused me to not hear the bell ring. It wasn’t Gabe that got me up from my seat this time though, it was the back that I’d been staring at the entire class that moved that caused me to snap out of my confused trance. Drew was one of the first people to walk out of the class. Something was definitely wrong with him and I wanted to know what it was, but I’m too much of a coward to go up and talk to him.

I walked up to Gabe to see him putting his painting on the back to dry for the night. His hands were completely sheathed in paint. The teacher had forbidden us from finger painting, but she knew Gabe well enough to know that he was a five year old who didn’t listen very well. I didn’t see his painting very well, but it just looked like smudges of paint to me; he could’ve just spent the entire day covering his hands in paint and playing with it; I wouldn’t be very surprised.

Like everyday for the past week and a half, I gave Gabe a ride home and he would skip into his house, too happy for my liking, then I’d drive myself home. On the drive home that day though, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off today. It was a stupid feeling, but my feelings were usually right; which scared me.

Arriving at my house, I was immediately ticked that I was, once again, right. I was making my way into my house when I saw none other than Drew sitting on his porch, smoke surrounding him. I didn’t know Drew smoked, but there he was, holding a cancer stick between his pointer and middle finger. His navy eyes were bloodshot with dark circles underneath them, tainting his perfect skin. Well, I did say that I wanted to talk to him, what better time than now?

Sucking in a big breath of air, I dropped my arm (that was about to unlock my door) to my side and crossed my lawn over to the Connelly’s yard and walked up to their porch, sitting next to Drew on the porch swing. He didn’t even glance my way; he just took another long drag from his cigarette and exhaled the toxic fumes. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. He was probably just upset over the fact that someone didn’t pay attention to him for once.

Maybe I should say something. What exactly would I say anyway?

‘Hey, you ignored me and broke my heart, but that’s okay because my creepy crush on you is still slightly intact and I don’t want to see you hurt’. Yeah, that’ll make him want to talk to me. I’m such a loser.

After seeing that me coming over to him was doing no good, I rose from the seat and made my way to leave. Maybe some other time I’ll get up the courage to say something to him...anything would be helpful.

I barely got one foot in front of the other before his angelic voice almost brought me to my knees. It wasn’t that I was surprised at his words, I just though he didn’t even know I’d been sitting next to him for the past six minutes.

“I’m sorry.” He sounded so fragile and broken.
I snapped my head back to him to see that his gaze was set firmly on the ground. Maybe he wasn’t talking to me. Maybe he really didn’t notice me sitting there and was just talking to himself. It was low and soft enough for him to just be murmuring to himself, but who would he be apologizing to?

Acting like the idiot I am, I said the only thing I could think of.

“Huh?” Smart me.

He didn’t say anything, or look up at me...so maybe he wasn’t talking to me. Oh well, I guess that’s what I deserve; I didn’t really expect anything more.

Once again, I made my way to leave, but the door slammed open and Felicity came bounding out; she was slightly shocked to see me, but noting the look on both mine and Drew’s faces, her face dropped into a depressed frown.

“H-Hi Dane.” She smiled politely, I could only return a half one back; I felt like breaking down into tears. “Um...Drew; mom and dad said that you have to come back inside, Sam should be here any second now.” She nearly whispered.

I was confused at first, who the hell was Sam? But then I remembered that Drew and Felicity had another brother who was coming back home.

Feeling that I was no longer needed, I waved lightly to Felicity before turning and making my way back home. My head was downcast the entire time and my hands were shoved deep in my pockets.

This was all I deserved...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I was lying face down on my bed, trying to just disappear into my dream world; the one place where I’m accepted and loved. Apparently my own dream world didn’t want me either, seeing as I couldn’t go to sleep.

Dad came home at about ten o-clock that night and came straight into my room; he didn’t even bother knocking. I guess he got tired of acting nice to me and finally came to give me my weeks’ worth of beatings. There was nothing I could do but just brace myself for it, I guess.

“Son, come down to the living room; we need to talk.” He said before closing the door. I could hear his retreating footsteps going back down the stairs.

Did he just call me son? I was used to him calling me ‘it’ and ‘boy’ and occasionally, ‘you’. The only time he ever calls me son is in front of guests.

Not wanting to make him wait (so he wouldn’t get mad), I scurried off of the bed and hurried
my way downstairs into the living room. Dad wasn’t there, probably in the kitchen, fixing himself a drink. Alcohol and him being mad didn’t really mix well.

To say that I was surprised when he waltzed into the living room empty handed was an understatement. When the hell did my dad grow a fucking heart?

“Y-You wanted to talk to me?” I was always nervous when it came to him. If I were to ever dare say the wrong thing, it would most likely result in me getting punched in the face.

“Yes.” He stated blankly, sitting on the couch opposite of me. Here comes the rant about how much of a disappointment I am to him and how he wished I was never born...

“I’m kicking you out...”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

That was over two hours ago. You can only imagine the look on my face when those words escaped his lips. You probably think that I went out without a fight, well you’re wrong. I’ve never flipped on anyone so much in my life as I did with my dad. Maybe it was all my pent up anger at the man that were finally coming out, or maybe it was the fact that I just couldn’t deal with his bullshit anymore; whatever it was...it sure as hell was not pretty.

***

”Excuse me?” I asked, thinking that I might’ve heard him wrong. What possible reason could he have for kicking me out? And way to be blunt about it too.

“You heard me right.” He answered, not a single emotion visible on his face. Was this guy serious?

“Are you serious? Why the hell are you kicking me out? I’ve done everything you’ve ever asked of me. A-Are you fucking kidding me right now? This is some kind of a joke right?” I yelled, shooting up from the couch to look him straight in the face.

If I even had the slightest doubt that he was kidding, I would’ve never gotten up in his face like that; I couldn’t even lie to myself.

“I’m sorry son, but I just think it’s time to move on.” He smiled a little. Move on? What the hell was this, a breakup?

So this is why he’s been nice to me all week, because he knew this was going to happen. That douche bag; I knew I was suspicious for a reason. And where the hell was I supposed to go? Jorge just left and there was no way in hell was I staying with Jenny. I didn’t know Gabe well enough to just move in and I wasn’t even thinking about the possibility of going next door.

“Move on? What the hell are you talking about?” I laughed a little eccentrically, not thinking straight. “Why do I have to go? I got back together with my bitch of an ex-girlfriend because of you; just so you could get that deal you wanted. Never once have I back-talked to you and now...” I was pacing around the room, all but pulling my own hair out. Maybe I didn’t deserve all of this. No one deserved all of this.

“Maybe that’s the problem son. Maybe it’s because you are too submissive. Fight me back for once maybe; I wouldn’t mind a little wrestling.” He laughed, trying to playfully push me. Playful was not what I wanted at the moment.

Blind rage boiled through every fiber of my being. I started seeing red...literally. Before I knew what the hell I was even doing, my arm swung back and met my father’s face with a sickening crunch.

I was done being walked on.

***
I broke my father’s nose, kicked him around a little, yelled as much as my lungs would allow me, then stalked right out of the house.

Hopping in my car, I had no idea where I was going; all I knew was that I needed to go. Maybe I’d try sneaking into my house to get my clothes sometime tomorrow, seeing as it was already about eleven, but not now.

Then another problem snuck up on me...where the hell was I supposed to stay? I’ve already thought about this and I have no choices. I could try to stay with Jenny, but I think I’d shoot myself in the face before the night’s over. I couldn’t really go to Jorge’s now, could I? It’d be like a five hour drive over to San Francisco and I had school tomorrow.

I could just crash in my car until the morning, then sneak through my window, take a quick shower, grab my clothes and leave. It’s not like I had any other choice anyway.

Can you believe it? I went from living in the biggest and nicest house in my parts of Beverly Hills to sleeping in my own car. Life really does throw unexpected curve balls at you, doesn’t it?

Pulling over in the parking lot of the local park, I climbed out of my car, pulling my sweater closer to me, and walked right past the park to the deserted area in the back. It may not sound safe to you, but no one else knows of it...at least I don’t think so.

When I was four and my parents had no other choice than to take me to the park, I ran away from them with Jorge and we found this place, all the way in the back of the park, away from everyone. Of course it was a bitch to get back, but it was beautiful and from that day on, Jorge and I swore that this would always be out secret hangout. He’d always come here with me whenever we got the chance, but chances stopped coming when I turned seven. That was when Jorge was diagnosed with chronic depression and was put on antidepressants. He was only about thirteen.

“Dane, is that you?”

I was sitting underneath the big oak tree, looking up at the sky where stars should be visible, when I heard his voice. Why does God hate me so fucking much?

“Drew? What are you doing here?”

Yes, there he was; shifting from one foot to the other, looking very uncomfortable. How did he know about my secret place? Okay, I’m sure a lot of other people found this place too, but I liked to think that it was only Jorge and I who knew here. That we were the founders; it helped a lot when he left.

“I-I heard you and your dad arguing. I was right outside.” He mumbled, refusing to look up from his feet.

What the hell was his problem? I know he’s a jackass all the time now, but why should he care? It’s not like he followed me out here anyway, even if my dad and I got into a fight. He seemed surprised to see me sitting here, so he wasn’t even looking for me. He didn’t even care if my dad had finally killed me or not. Great best friend I found.

I wanted to be angry at him; I wanted to yell at him for everything he put me through, but...I just couldn’t find it in me to be mad. The look he had on his face when he was sitting on his porch kept flashing in front of my eyes every time I blinked. I just...I just can’t.

I didn’t say anything, just turned my head back up to look at the sky. I did hear a shaky breath being expelled though and there was only one other person here.

Looking up, just to see his face again, I noticed that he was no longer standing near the entrance, but sitting on the ground, in front of another oak tree. His head was bowed and he looked absolutely heartbroken. He chose absolutely the worst place to sit; the tree shaded his face from me. Even though his head was down, I could’ve at least had a chance to see his mouth.

“Did you and Echo break up or something?” I asked, trying to, at least, converse with him for the night.

I didn’t get an answer, just a shaky head shake. So they were still together, then what is wrong with him?

“Did you brother come yet?” I asked, trying again.

This time a received a nod. Something in me told me that he was just afraid to use his voice, but why should I listen to the little voice in my head that’s driving me insane.

“So what brings you out here? I mean, it couldn’t wait until the morning?” Please talk to me. After everything he’d done, I still want to hear his voice. I shouldn’t have ignored him that day he tried to talk to me. I should’ve listened and been late for school. Who gives a rat’s ass about school anymore; I potentially ruined a reunion between us.

Does it make me desperate and a loser for wanting to take back the guy who ditched me for a girl? Maybe, but I frankly don’t care. I can’t stand seeing him like this.

Drew didn’t bother nodding or shaking his head...he just sat there...head bowed, quiet and frankly it was starting to piss me off just a little. Sure, I didn’t want to see him hurt, but he was the one who hurt me, not the other way around.

“What the hell is your problem?” I asked, calmly. I didn’t yell it at him, I didn’t force it out, I just...said it. Just like I’d ask if I was asking about the weather. “What did I do to you? Did you avoid me because my father beats me? Did you think he’d dare lay a hand on you too? Or is it just because you hated being around someone like me?” My voice didn’t waver, not once. “You don’t have to ever talk to me ever again, but I think I’d like to know why. Just one simple answer and I’ll get off of your back forever. That is what you want.”

I could’ve sworn I saw something wet hit the ground, but it was too dark to tell.

What is going on here?