Set Me Free

I wasn't sure how long I was in that tiny hospital room, but the next thing I knew, it was dark; this always happens when dad sends me to the hospital; the only difference this time is that I don’t remember driving myself while in mind numbing pain. I remember the pain, quite clearly, because that’s inevitable, but I don’t ever remember dragging myself to my car.

That was when I heard movement coming from somewhere beside me. Someone moving around in a chair; It couldn’t a doctor...what would he be doing on a chair in my room this late? Who would visit me in the hospital; half the time, people don’t even know I’m in the hospital and even if they did, I doubt they’d waste their precious time to see if I’m alive or not. That was when the heavenly scent captured my nose; it was familiar yet foreign at the same time...it was bliss. You know what else is bliss...the feel of Drew’s hands on my fac-oh shit! Holy hell, how could I forget about Drew? He was the one who found me half unconscious in my house and brought me to the hospital and it was probably him that was still here, waiting for me to wake up...which was proving definitely harder than it should've.

“Dane? Are you awake now?” He sighed. I didn’t know if it was because he was tired, bored or in agony. I don’t want to be mean, but I hoped it was the latter; it would mean that he cared.

I know I’ve been talking a lot about wanting Drew to care, but that’s only because the only other person who’s actually given a damn about me is Jorge and I haven’t seen him in over seven years. Being the way I am and growing up like I did, with an abusive family, makes it easy for people to walk all over me, which they don't hesitate to do, but I’m just very optimistic in the fact that maybe, someone out there will...actually want to take care of me. I sound so much like a girl.

In my messed up, retarded thoughts, I almost forgot that Drew was still in the room; I wasn’t used to someone staying at the hospital with me.

I tried opening my eyes, to give him so hope that I wasn’t dead, but I was so sore. Everything hurt and nothing felt right. My brain didn’t seem to know the difference between blinking and moving my leg; so instead of opening my eyes, I ended up curling my toe. I hated the recovery stage.

“Come on, Dane, can’t you just open your eyes or something? Show me that you’re still alive?” His voice cracked and squeaked in almost every word he said. So it was agony.

Thirteen tries (and toe curls) later, I was able to squint, thinking that I’d be awed by the sunset (seeing as it was only about 4 o-clock when Drew found me), but surprised by complete darkness instead. How long was I out?

Forcing my eyes to open as wide as they could (which wasn’t much, since they were both bruised and swollen), I whimpered a bit while forcing my head to look over to where Drew’s voice had come from.
His head was down and he looked like he was asleep, but his constant sighing proved me wrong. Maybe I was wrong about the agony too. I most likely am; why would Drew care...I barely know the guy. He most likely took me here because he felt like he couldn’t just leave me at my house bleeding to death; yeah...he’s just nice. And now he’s tired and fed up.

I don’t know what hurts worse at the moment, the realization that I was right, or what me being right meant. There was no way I’d ever be able to tell Drew how I felt; he’d hate me and I can’t ruin my friendship with him. I’m not strong enough to deal with something like that.

“Drew?” I managed to choke out, trying not to break down in tears from both the strain and the fact that I just broke my own heart.

Drew’s head snapped up and his perfect, dark blue eyes bore into my green ones. He even looked tired. There were dark bags under his eyes, his hair was a disheveled mess and his eyes were bloodshot. Again...how long was I out?

“Dane? Dude, are you okay? What the hell happened to you? Why didn’t you pick up my calls this afternoon when you were at lunch...?” He sounded like an overprotective mother. “Are you okay?” He was frantically searching my face, as if it held all the answers to the world. Hopefully I’m wrong about my ‘tired’ theory.

My voice was too raw and hoarse for me to even attempt to speak a full sentence, so I just nodded, causing a migraine to explode onto my head; too sum it all, I feel hung-over and yes, I know how being hung-over feels.
Drew let out a sigh of relief before resting his head on the bed.

“No offense, dude, but...I hate your dad.” His voice was muffled by the bed, but the words were distinguishable. “I mean, don’t hate me or anything for saying this, but, I just don’t trust the guy. Maybe I’m getting a little too carried away here, but...who really did this to you?”

Drew raised his head from the bed and looked me dead in the eyes. If the accent wasn’t enough to drive me crazy, his expression was. His eyes were big, his face was set in a small pout and he looked so eager; if I wasn’t attached to so many cords, I would’ve surely jumped him.

“I mean, I know it hurts to talk and all, so you don’t really have to answer now, but...” He looked back down at the bad. “He shouldn’t be getting away with all of this and next time I won’t let him. I know you might say that he’s not the one who did this, but I won’t believe you and I’m not afraid to tell you that I will beat the shit out of that man.”

That caused a slight smile to find its way onto my lips...so maybe he does care.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When I was finally able to talk, I asked Drew to take me home; he objected and told me I had to stay in the hospital until I was fully recovered, which could take days. I refused, we got into a small argument (our first fight ^-^), then from straining my voice too much, I went into a coughing fit that looked like I was having a seizure. I needed to put on an oxygen mask since my dad had stomped on my ribs and made my heart stutter (which is NOT a good thing), and now it hurts to breathe...he’d never done that before.

Drew walked in looking like he’d just witnessed his entire family being murdered in front of him, then set into a fit of apologizing for nearly causing me to convulse; he looked as if he was about to harm himself or something (yes, I’m over exaggerating). It took a while to calm him down, but we were soon fine.

It was now about two in the morning and the doctors refuse to let me leave. I have to get used to breathing for a long period of time on my own before I’m allowed to go home. I don’t want to go home, but I do at the same time. I miss my bed and my room, but I don’t want to see the excuse God gave me for a family.

I could always ask Drew if I could stay at his house, since he pretty much figured out how my life at home was, but I still don’t think I know him well enough to be able to invade his home. And it wouldn’t be fair for his mom to not only have to take care of Felicity (oh yeah, Drew had gone to my house to tell me that Felicity had come home =D), but of me as well...it wouldn’t be right.

Drew was fast asleep on one of those uncomfortable looking hospital chair/couch things that no one likes. I told him to go home and get some rest, but he said that he wasn’t going anywhere until I was out of the hospital. The little shards of my heart that were broken were slowly piecing themselves back together. He’d called his parents and they said that they’d come visit tomorrow morning and to tell me that they’re sorry and hope I get well soon.

I managed to turn Drew into a sap when I told him that no one ever visits me in the hospital when these sort of things happened; he went downstairs and bought pretty much everything that was in the gift shop and told me that they were all the gifts I never got. If I was a girl, I would’ve been in tears. He was now snuggling with one of the big, purple teddy bears.

Sleep evaded me, seeing as the only thing I could effectively do that night was think. I wondered if Gabriel was still in the hospital, it would be cool to see him, I guess. Seeing as I was now absolutely sure that I was at least bi. Maybe we could be friends and maybe I could talk about all of this to him. At least he’d be here to give me some actual criticism. I wondered what my dad would do to me when I got back home; probably just re-break my ribs.

In the midst of all my brain’s activity, I ended up tiring myself out; I can’t think for too long without getting bored.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next thing I knew, I was being shaken awake and the sun was blinding me from behind my closed eyelids. I’m not much of a morning person, especially when I wouldn’t have to go to school. My father is so going to kill me for missing school today.

“Wake up, sleepy head. My parents said they’d be here soon.” That smooth voice whispered in my ear, causing the sleep to just jump out of me. Trying to maintain my cool, I pretended as if I was still drowsy.

I opened my eyes and came face to face with those dark blue that seemed to get brighter overnight. He was smiling and didn’t seem at all awkward about the fact that we were this close. But this is as close as friends can get right? I’ve never had any real good guy friends, so I’m not really sure? Well, obviously Drew could never like me like that, so he doesn’t know how uncomfortable he’s making me right now? Seriously, his face was just two inches away from mine. If I was an impulsive person, I’d have leaned forward already and done what I know I’d regret, but instead I was just sitting there, blushing like mad, trying to keep my eyes locked with his and not down at his lips.

After about three awkward and uncomfortable minutes, Andrew finally did decided to move and go back to sit in the chair.

“I should thank you; I don’t have to go to school today because you’re sick. So thank you!” He beamed. I’ve never actually seen Drew so relaxed. When Felicity was in the hospital and I was playing video games with him, he was relaxed, but still a little stressed (well, of course! His sister was in the hospital).

“Are you adopted?” I have no idea where the hell that question came from and I should’ve probably thought about it before I asked, but I tend to not know how to do that, so...

The smile of Drew’s face visibly fell to almost a frown. There was still a small smile, but it wasn’t a happy one. I should learn to shut up! Now I just ruined a perfectly good moment that could’ve led to Drew realizing that he was in love with me, asking me to run away to Vegas and marrying him and living a life of pure bliss. Sure, that was a long shot, but a guy can dream, right?

“Hello? Dane? Are you still in there?”

I snapped back to reality to see Drew’s hand moving left and right in front of my face. The smile on his lips became wider when he saw that I was in fact, paying attention.

“Huh? Sorry...I have a tendency to space out for no apparent reason sometimes; doesn’t help my social skills.” See, this is a perfect example of why I should think before I speak. Now Drew’s going to think I’m weird (more than I already am) and not want to talk to me ever again. Then, out of shame and sorrow, I’ll have no choice but to commit suicide...I wouldn’t have the guts.

And just like that...I’d spaced out again. Half the time I was thinking about what it would be like to commit suicide, then the other half I was wondering how I would even possibly do it. Something less painful and quick, I chose; something where I could go in peace. Though the thoughts of why I would be doing it in the first place would be enough to eat that peace alive, then spit out my dignity and step on it...repeatedly.

“Seriously man, you’ve got to stop doing that, you’re scaring me.”

Before either of us could say anything else, though, the door slowly opened and in popped Mrs. Connelly in all her glory. She was carrying a huge dish in her hands while Mr. Connelly forced the door open with his foot, since he was carrying the biggest teddy bear I have ever seen in my entire life. The thing was HUGE and he had to carry in millions of flowers too. These people are just too nice to be real. Then again, Drew’s too hot to be real, so...even trade.

“Hello, boys!” She beamed, landing right on top of me in a (literal) bone crushing hug. It took all my strength not to scream out at the top of my newly flattened lungs. Sensing my pain, Mrs. Connelly got up and apologized, setting the dish on a table near the bed. “Sorry about that. Felicity would’ve been here, but she wanted to go to school to reassure her friends that she was still alive.” I saw the flash of relief pass through her eyes that she was trying so hard to let pass unnoticed. “I’m so sorry about what happened sweetie.” She frowned. “I hope you get better soon.” She turned to Drew and her frown turned to a slight, playful glare. “And you, young man, are going to school tomorrow. I don’t want to hear any excuses. You’re way too behind and I will not hear of you failing.”

The Connelly’s didn’t stay for long; they both had to go to work, but Drew said he’d
spend the entire day with me.

“Why are you doing this?” I’d asked him. “You barely know me; you don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.” He was playing with is PSP on the couch and didn’t even bother looking up at me when he answered.

“Because, believe it or not, I consider you a good friend already and seeing the group of friends you have, you need a real friend. And also, this is getting me out of writing an English essay, so it’s good for the both of us.”

Other than the fact that he was getting out of school, that first part just about made my heart burst out of my chest. I was momentarily speechless (which is big for me), which must’ve made Drew think that I spaced out again.

“I think I’m going to call a nurse...normal people don’t space out this much.” I didn’t think he was serious until he got up and actually made to leave the room.

“I didn’t space out, smart one, I was just shocked. No one’s actually ever said that to me before.” I blurted out.

“Really? Well then, I guess there’s always a first for everything, huh?”

There was a sweet, but slightly awkward moment that filled the room.

I was wondering if I should say something to fill the silence, but was afraid of saying the wrong thing. That was actually the first time I’ve thought about my words before anything came out, but the problem...nothing came out. I was supposed to choose the right words and then say them, but the more I thought about what to say, the more I was unsure of whether it would be right or not. It was way too much work! How do people do this everyday of their lives? No wonder I just blurt out whatever comes to mind; if I have to do this ‘thinking’, it’s not going to work out for anyone.

Don’t get me wrong, I get straight A’s, but do I know what the hell any of the work means? Nope; I’m just an idiot who’s good at memorization.

“Okay, let’s play a game...” Drew said randomly.

I stared at him like he was crazy. What kind of game can you play in a hospital? There are no cards, boards (even though I couldn't stand board games), no nothing.

”Um...okay. Did you have something specific in mind?”

Something told me that this would not be a good idea. An evil grin snuck itself on Andrew’s lips; clue number one that this couldn’t possibly end well.

“Well...I was thinking of something, though I don’t think you’ll like it very much...” Damn straight I won’t.

“I only have one question: Is it legal?”

“Not exactly, but it’s fun...if we don’t get caught.” I hated the game already and I didn’t even know what it was. I only knew one game that wasn’t ‘exactly’ legal for me and that game I swore I’d never play again...too many people getting drunk and my dad threatening to kill me if I ever played it again.

“What exactly is this game anyway?”

Andrew smirked, pulling out a bottle of what looked like Vodka from his bag. Where the hell did he get that?

“Have you ever heard of: Never have I ever...?” Oh God no...