Set Me Free

I didn’t want to go home that night, but I didn’t think I’d feel good about staying another night. The Connelly’s were too nice for me to take advantage of them.

Thankfully for me, I was able to avoid both of my parents, who were animatedly fighting in the living room. I quickly snuck up to my room, where I ripped my curtains opened to see Drew standing there, binoculars at hand...staring right at me. That boy is so weird; I sometimes question my sanity for liking him.

I waved, a little confused as to what he was doing, but he just stood there...staring at me. I knew he saw me too, he adjusted his binoculars to see better. O...kay.

Before I could raise my hand to wave at him again, he ducked under his window and took a video camera, placing it on the windowsill, facing my room. That’s not creepy in the least bit.
When I felt that hand press down on my shoulder, I realized why Drew had disappeared...here we go again.

“Hello son, where have you been for the past two and a half days?”

That voice always sends chills down my back every time I hear it. I don’t know what I ever did to the man, but he just really hates me. Same with mom...okay no, I know what I did to her. When I was seven, I replaced her shampoo with hair dye and stuffed worms in the bottle (I really hated that woman). Well, obviously, the worms died in the hair dye, so...you can just guess what kind of reaction she had when she poured half the bottle onto her head. That was a good day.

I had to stop the smirk that was sneaking its way across my lips; dad wouldn’t like that.

My dad couldn’t have picked a worse time to decided to beat the shit out of me; my ribs were still mending and I don’t think they could take anymore. So I’d either have to fight back (not likely) or run away like the pussy I am. Which one do you think I did? Neither because I didn’t have to.

The next thing I knew, my dad pulled me down by my hair (which hurt like hell, by the way), but it felt like he was going down with me.

Looking up from the ground, I saw that my dad had fallen unconscious on the ground. Looking up past his unconscious figure barely moving, I saw Drew standing there, frying pan in hand and eyes bugged out. Apparently he had no idea what the hell he just did.

“Dude...I just hit your father.” He said in monotone, still looking scared shitless. Then a wide, mischievous grin spread across his face. “Cool.”

Moving his unconscious body into the living room (which requires way more muscle than Drew and I have – combined), we emptied out his bottle of pure vodka and placed it in front of him; he wouldn’t be pinning this on me when he wakes up.
Apparently this good day would be the day Drew decided to break my heart.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Even though it was like, ten at night, Drew said he was meeting up with some people and would like me to come so he wouldn’t be alone. I didn’t know he knew anyone but me, but I wasn’t in all of his classes, so I really didn’t know. That was when he said the eleven words that seemed to make this entire great day break down into the most horrible one I’ve had so far (or so it seemed).

“I want to meet this girl I like; she’s really awesome.”

I tried my hardest to force a smile onto my face. I didn’t know if it seemed fake or not, but I don’t even think Drew was paying attention. Inside, I felt like I was breaking into a million pieces.

But what did I really expect? Drew’s the most gorgeous guy...ever and he’s straight. Did I actually think I had a chance with him? What the hell was I thinking? He probably thinks I’m annoying now; since everyone else eventually does.
Well...there goes any chance I have at ever having a real friend. I never thought of him as ‘just a friend’ anyway, so... God life sucks!

“R-Really? Someone you like? Who is she?” I couldn’t stop the stutter that fucked up my words. I really am pathetic aren’t I?

“I can’t tell you that yet...you have to see her first, but she’s really cool...you’ll love her.” He beamed, staring off into space with that stereotypic dreamy look on his face. Oh great...she’s prefect. She’d have to be to deserve someone like Drew...wait, no one’s good enough for Drew. Not even me; hell, especially not me.

Forcing another sickeningly excited smile on my face, I let Drew lead me to his car, where I clambered into the passenger seat.

To say that I didn’t want to meet the person that was about to steal Drew away from me would be an understatement. This person could be the nicest girl in the entire world, but I didn’t care; I didn’t like her. Whatever she did, she did it right and she managed to get Drew all wrapped up in her little spell. At least he didn’t already ask her out; that would just make this messed up situation that much worse.

“I’m planning on asking her out today.” He beamed some more.

Great, now everything really does suck. I didn’t like it when he smiled thinking about her. He shouldn’t be thinking about her anyway, he shouldn’t want her.

I know, I’m acting childish and should just accept that Drew will never like me, but it’s hard. I want him too…so bad that it’s actually somewhat painful. I mean, he beat my dad for me since I’m too much of a pansy to do it myself! Maybe I just want him because I need some protection in my life. I’ve been bullied by my parents since I can’t even remember and now, this random guy just moves in and actually saved me from that (for a day)...can you blame me for wanting more?

Call me a fucking chick for being so damn emotional now, but...ugh...nothing ever goes right for me. I knew it was too good to be true. This was the one thing I was hoping that I was wrong about. I didn’t want to be right about this! I wanted this to not be too good to be true, but I’ve never gotten anything I wanted in the past, why start now?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The entire ride to this girl’s house was in complete silence. Once in a while I’d turn to look at Drew and see this huge smile planted on his face. Not once did he look to see why I was so quiet, if he did, he would’ve seen the heartbroken look on my face and asked what was wrong, but I was already being replaced with a person I don’t even know...am I that big of a fuck up?

Can I not keep one good thing in my life? I feel like such a girl.

When I see Jenny she’s probably just going to chop my dick off anyway, so I’ll have the whole package (or no package).

“Okay, we’re here...I’m nervous...what do I say?” He asked, turning to me with a panicked expression covering his face.

“I don’t know, just say hi and start small talk or something like that.”

act like a friend, act like a friend

I kept reminding myself, so as to not break down into cheesy tears. I don’t think I’d do that anyway, but for safety measures, I had to keep smiling so as to make myself seem less pathetic.

“Is that what worked with Jenny?” He didn’t even sneer at her name like he used to. I’m
already losing him.

What worked with Jenny? I didn’t even get a say in anything to Jenny when we began dating. She just came up to me one day in freshman year and the next thing I know, we’re together.

“Yeah, she was nice back then too...make sure this one doesn’t want to kill you.” I tried smiling, but failed miserably. I probably looked like I was constipated or something. Like I said before: pathetic!!!!

Something about this house looked somewhat familiar, but I couldn’t really put my finger on it. The lights were on and laughter could be heard inside once we were on the front step, but I couldn’t place any faces with them. Drew refused to ring the doorbell until he made sure that he looked ‘hot’. I just wanted to tell him that he looked hot everyday, but that would just freak him out and I’d lose my friend (even though I know I’m going to lose him now anyway).

After about five minutes of just standing there, I couldn’t take it anymore. It was killing me that he was trying so hard for someone he doesn’t even know when all I wanted to do was kiss the boy, so I just rang the doorbell for him.

His eyes widened in panic as he looked at me, but I didn’t bother turning to look at him; he’d see the glazed eyes I was trying so hard not to show. It’s not like I had any reason to keep at it, being the ‘best friend’; I didn’t stand a chance.

Someone who I didn’t know opened the door; she looked like she was in her mid-thirties. She smiled kindly at us, eyebrows raised in question.

“We’re here for Echo Louis.”

I felt as though all the spit in my mouth just evaporated. My eyes were wide and I felt like crying all over again...Echo? He likes Echo?

Drew couldn’t possibly pick a worse person to like! I actually liked Echo. Not the same way Drew does (obviously), but as a friend; I knew her and she was actually cool. How could I hate someone like that? How could I say that I didn’t approve of who Andrew wanted to go out with when I would probably like her too if I wasn’t gay (that thought process was painful). I felt even worse than I did when he said that he liked a girl. Any other girl and I could say the worst things about her and say that I hate her, but Echo? She was one of the nicest people I’ve ever met in my life. God really does hate me.

“Hey, dude, you coming in or what?” Drew smirked, practically dragging me in by the arm; now I really didn’t want to be here.

Stuffing my hands in my pockets, I made my way into the house behind Drew. Now I know why this place seems so familiar. Jenny used to drag me here all the time; of course I wouldn’t remember because they were always against my will.

Walking into Echo’s spacious living room, I saw my group of ‘friends’. Ever since becoming friends with Drew, I haven’t hung out with them...ever. But that wasn’t what I first saw was my so called girlfriend sitting in the back, flirting it up with Keagan, the douche.

I watched as Drew ran up to Echo and how they automatically jumped into a conversation about something that I probably wouldn’t find interesting. I made sure to avert my eyes and stare at the ground in thought, instead of longingly gazing at where the soon to be couple were sat. I don’t want to be here...

~*~

Drew dropped me off at my house at around midnight, after he’d spent the entire car ride telling me how “amazing” and “beautiful” Echo was. I wanted to rip my own ears off, but just sat there, wallowing in my misery.

Drew did end up asking Echo out by the end of the night and she said yes, so they were going out on Saturday. Yay for them.

When I reached my room, I just plopped straight down on my bed, not caring about taking any of my clothes off; who needs comfort anyways?

Sleep seemed to evade me that entire night; not once did I manage to actually close my eyes. It wasn’t like I was thinking about anything...I just...didn’t sleep. I felt like shit the next morning, which isn’t that big of a surprise.

As soon as I walked into first period, I dropped my head down on my desk and just refused to pick it back up. Still, when the teacher asked me a question, I answered it, correctly too. For the last fifteen minutes, he decided to just let us talk and work on projects that no one was actually going to.

“I can’t believe that bitch Echo’s moving in on our territory.” Some girl beside me sneered, one of Jenny’s friends, of course.

“I know right, who the hell does she think she is? He’d be much better off with one of us.”
Jenny scoffed right back.

This was where I began to hate myself. If Drew was going to just be straight and go out with a girl, then I’d rather it be Echo than any of these label whores. I hate to admit this, but they actually do seem like they make a good couple; she makes him happy and he looks like he makes her happy as well, so you know what...that’s good enough for me...I guess.
I wouldn’t want Drew to end up with someone like me and being completely miserable. Even
if him dating Echo makes me miserable, it’s none of my business, since I’m not part of their relationship. And if Drew just wants to completely ditch me for someone else, then...I guess that’s fine too.

If being friends with me is just that bad, then he shouldn’t be friends with me, I’m cool with that and I’m going to tell him.

I would tell him first period, but he was too busy flirting with Echo at the front of the class. He didn’t even say hi to me this morning or acknowledge my presence, even though I was in plain sight. I’m just that bad of a friend. No wonder no one used to want to hang out with me before Jenny.

I guess I should thank her a little bit for that; even thought these guys wouldn’t be considered true friends, I can at least hang out with them and not be so much of a loner. Contrary to beliefs now, being a loner isn’t all that great. Sure, you get some time to yourself now and again, but sometimes you just need the presence of someone else there with you too.

“Dude, are you even listening?” Keegan said from beside me. I don’t know how we all manage to be in most of the same classes. “I asked if you were going to the bonfire Saturday night.”

The bonfire was something the ‘popular’ kids held each year. There was never a set date, you either got invited or you didn’t, but most of the school always ended up being invited just because people like Keagan could do it. There was no real reason for them to hold something like this, they just wanted to remind everyone who was cool and who wasn’t. Every year for the past three years Jenny has dragged me to these bonfires, even though I really never want to go. They’re stupid. Just jocks getting drunk and sleeping with as many people as they can find. Keegan just happened to be Jenny’s new toy for the week.

“Of course he’s going to the bonfire, since when has he not?” Jenny laughed in that annoyingly high pitched voice of hers. This is how it usually is, Jenny planning my life out for me and me, not being able to do anything about it.

I started wondering how Drew would feel about me dating Jenny if the situation was reversed. If he was the one who liked me and I was the straight one with a girlfriend. Would he actually do anything, seeing how miserable I am with her? If I ever see that he’s dejected with Echo, then of course I’ll try to do something to break them up, so maybe Drew doesn’t even like me as a friend.

‘I consider you a good friend already and seeing the group of friends you have, you need a
real friend.

Were those just words to him? Apparently they were because he’s already forgotten my existence...just like everyone else.

In the midst of all of my jumbled thoughts, I didn’t notice the bell had rung until everyone got up from their seats and left the classroom. I was the last one to leave, all by myself, like it should be.

~*~

School passed by in a blur and the next thing I knew, Jenny was ditching me for Keegan (THANK GOD!!!) and Echo was hanging onto Drew’s arm as they made their way to his car. I hope they’re happy together, they look good as a couple.

As I made my way into the house, I didn’t even bother looking at the fact that both my parents’ cars were in the driveway. I had too much on my mind to care.

They didn’t notice me (since they were practically having sex on the kitchen table), so I was easily able to sneak into my room without the daily argument. Looking into Drew’s room next door I could see him and Echo sitting on his bed, her laughing at the things he was saying. It physically hurt to see them, so I just shut my blinds and pulled my curtains down. They were already swapping spit.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Once again, I wasn’t able to sleep that night, but thankfully for me, it was Friday, the last day of being in this hell hole until Monday, a weekend away. Not like today would be any different from yesterday. The day already started the same.

When I came out of the house, I saw Drew leaving his place and I wanted to go over there and say hi, but he was already in his car before I could even move. What was worse, I saw him look over to me for a millisecond before getting in his car and driving off...so he really does want to avoid me. Well okay then.

I felt this painful knot form at the bottom of my stomach, twisting itself tighter, causing me more ache than before. Now that I knew what Drew wanted, I’d give it to him; if he didn’t want to talk to me anymore, than I won’t try to force myself into his life. I know what it’s like to be talked to just out of pity and this is the same.

The only reason Drew helped me was probably because he was just a good person who didn’t like to see other’s hurt, but that doesn’t mean that he cares for me at all. I could just be some random guy who was hurt that he helped. I probably wormed my way into his life and he couldn’t think of a nice way to tell me to fuck off. Now that he has Echo, he doesn’t have to tell me...I get it.

No one’s treated me any differently before, why would they start now? Why would someone like Drew start now?

~*~

School was uneventful and seemed to drag on forever. I managed to do a good job of
avoiding Drew, just like he was avoiding me and before I knew it, school was over. It wasn’t until I was in my car did I realize why tomorrow was going to be the worst day of all. Not only was it the day of that dreaded bonfire, but it was the day of Drew and Echo’s date. I would be drowning in despair while Drew has the time of his life with his potential future wife. I wonder if he’ll invite me to his wedding. Most likely not, he wouldn’t want someone like me to taint his perfect guest list. My throat decided to take that moment to clog itself up, making it suddenly hard to breathe.

Jenny clung to my arm as we made our way to my car, she was giggling and laughing with her friends and for the first time in forever...I just didn’t care. Her voice usually annoys me to no end, but this time, it was just whatever.

Dad didn’t pound on me because Jenny was over; acting like the sweetheart I know she isn’t. As soon as I closed my bedroom door, Jenny furiously attached her lips to mine. It felt like I was being raped. I tried getting her off of me, but for someone so skinny, she was hella strong. She pushed me down on the bed and jumped on me...this is so wrong. Not for one second was I enjoying any of this. Usually guys find it attractive when girls are dominant, but this was just molestation.

One of the worst nights of my life.