We'll Make It Through

Our flight landed and it was somewhere past three in the morning there in Italy. Frank tapped me on the shoulder, awakening me from my short nap. I hate when the plane lands and everyone stands up, starts to get their bags and then just stand there for around ten minutes until the pilot says we can go.

Our driver rented another car and we drove to the hotel. Frank sat in the back with me this time. I laid my head on the back of the seat watching the lights past us by. Where am I? Questions floated around my head. Who was my real mother then? Why didn't she try to get me back? Why did she give me up? Who was my real family? Will he tell me to refer to him as dad and Jamia as mom? When would I get to see my original family? When will I get to see my friends?
I wanted to ask all these questions, and many many more. But my eye lids were so heavy, the car was so warm, and it was dark. I slowly drifted off to sleep again.

***
Again Frank woke me up, this time by stroking my hair. I looked up and him and he whispered,

"C'mon, we're here," I slowly got up and unbuckled my seat belt. A man opened the door for me and said something in Italian.

"Uhh, bonjur?" I asked. The man chuckled.

"Welcome back miss," he said in English with a thick accent.

"Oh, thank you," I replied sleepily even though this was my first time coming here.

I followed Frank into the hotel and into the elevator where he pressed the number 10 button. It instantly made me think of "To The End" Only this time it didn't make me smile.

I remember one time where my fiends and I had gone to a hotel party for a friend. We kept going into the elevator, point at the last floor, the tenth, and yell, "This elevator only goes up to ten!" and then all start singing.

He put the key into the lock but before opening it turned to look at me and said,

"Everyone else should be in there other rooms, so try to get some sleep," he then opened the door.

"Frank!" Ray yelled as he walked in.

"Or they're all partying in my room," he said as he waited for me to come in.

A huge combination of my emotions came into my throat, making it impossible to breath, or talk. This was one of my favorite bands,and I was meeting them. But I would never live with my family again. I walked in and starred at the ground.

"Holy crap! It's Frank's clone!" Mikey said and stuck his hand out. I slowly pulled my hand out of my back pockets and shook his hand.

"Hi," I said in almost a whisper.

I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"You should try to get some sleep," Frank said. I looked up quickly to find the bedroom.

"Hey Gerard could you turn it down a bit? Lidia's going to bed," he said as I walked over to the bedrooms.

"Huh? Oh sorry," he mumbled and lowered the volume.

"Night uhh, crap don't tell me," he said while snapping his fingers in thought. I stopped at the door and turned to watch him try to remember my name.

"Ummm, Lynn!" he said and pointed to me, smiling.

"It's Lidia, but close enough," I said smiling half a smile.

"Oh I'm sorry," he said.

"Night Lidia!" I heard Ray say loudly.

"Night!" Mikey, Bob and Frank said in unison. I didn't say good night back.

I changed into my pajamas slowly and laid down on my bed. I closed my eyes and tried to trick myself into believing I was really in my room, in my bed. But when I stretched my legs expecting Oreo to growl, it was silent, and the tears began to pour again.

This time I let myself cry as much as I could. I grabbed a pillow and hugged it to my chest and sobbed into it. I didn't wail or make any noise, all I did was let the tears fall and whisper to myself it was all a dream. Hard to believe that I used to wish that this would happen.

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Frank's P.O.V

"So how did she take it?" Bob asked going into the fridge and pulling out a water bottle.

"Not as well as I wished it could have gone," I said going over to a chair at the table. This was all so new to me. The only time I'm ever around a teen is when we meet our fans.

"She's crying," Gerard said looking over at me.

"That's the thing," I said taping my fingers on the table.

"I don't know whether to comfort her or just let her cry,"

Gerard bit his lip and nodded, everyone else came and sat near me.

"She looks just like you, Frank," Ray said smiling.

"She's got her mom's lips though," I said and looked down at the ground. I could hear her crying now. I could tell she was trying to be as quiet as possible. I felt as if someone had picked me up and just threw me into the twister of responsibility and guilt. I was her dad, I should have known when Ashley left me so suddenly that something was up. I could have saved Lidia her all of this confusion, and heartbreak.

"How old is she?" Bob asked.

"Fifteen," I replied.

"So you were-" But I cut off Bob.

"Seventeen," I said and looked up at them. Gerard had turned off the t.v and all eyes were on me. I looked over at the bedroom door. She was quieting down but I could still hear her. What am I supposed to do? Every time I try to talk to her she seems so uncomfortable.

"Fuck!" I whispered loudly and hit my fist against the table.

"It's not your fault, dude," Mikey said and sat across from me.

"Yeah, all you can do now is just be there for her," Gerard said. Then it was silent. The only sound was her crying and the clock ticking.

" I'm her dad, I should have been there for her the day she came home from the hospital,"

"Stop beating yourself up man," Ray said.

"I can't! Some of this is my fault," I yelled at no one in particular. I felt bad that I yelled at them as soon as I did though.

"I'm sorry guys, I'm just confused," I said and rubbed my forehead. With that they got up and headed for the door.

"We're here for you Frank," Gerard said as he left. I knew they were here for me. But right now I needed to pull myself together, for my daughter.