I've Been Afraid of Changing

I stuffed several notebooks, a few pens, a packet of loose leaf paper and a calculator into my bag before jamming my cell phone into the pocket of my pants. I called out a goodbye to my mom before I dashed out the front door. As usual, I was late. I was always late because a.) well, my hair wouldn’t stay flat and b.) Mom forgot to wake me up at 7 like I asked. Alarm clocks mean nothing to me. I’ve had 4, all shattered to little bits of black plastic. As soon as I was on the street and walking, because I wasn’t allowed to have the car for some asinine reason, my phone buzzed loudly in my pocket. I didn’t have to open it to know who it was.

School sucks w/o u, man.

Jon.

I laughed.

At least u kno everyone there. I replied.

Good point. How’s Vegas?

Hot.

What did I tell ya?

Shut it!

I found my way to the school and groaned, pushing my phone into my pocket again before starting up the steps. I hated school, but at least here I wasn’t in a uniform. Those things were crazy itchy and just, annoying!

I pulled open the heavy wooden door and caught the tail end of a conversation behind me.

“Who’s the cutie?” a girl asked, her voice just above a whisper. I think she was trying not to let me hear but my god, she was NOT doing a very good job of it.

“I don’t know but he is YUMMY!” her friend replied in a “hushed” tone. Yeah, hushed, my ass. Now, I don’t mind getting checked out because come on, who wouldn’t? But those girls’ voices had that squeaky, annoying freshman quality to them. I’m not a cradle robber.

I walked into the office and sighed, leaning over the counter. This was going to be hell.

---

My first class was chemistry, which I’m alright at but I prefer other sciences, such as none at all. I was instructed to sit in the very back, beside some pot head who was passed out. I rolled my eyes and set my newly issued Chemistry book, notebook and a pen. I sat on the stool and spun around, grabbing onto the black table top. I put my head against the cool table and sighed. It was going to be a long day, since it already had been and it was only 1st block.

---

My next class wasn’t much of a class, it was the easy class. It was Art Theory, which is the best class they offer. I leaned back in my chair as Natoli, the short, chubby instructor began the lesson, after forcing me to introduce myself.

“Why don‘t you introduce yourself?” Natoli had asked.

“I’m Brendon, I moved here from Chicago. My dad got a better job here. That’s about it.”

“What kind of art do you like, Brendon?” Natoli asked.

I simply shrugged because I didn’t know, I could draw a little bit
---

“Dude, today sucks.” I groaned, sitting with my back against the tile in the gym locker. It was my last bell of the day and I’ve mastered skipping gym by not even leaving the locker room. I’m there for attendance, I get changed and start to leave behind the teacher before I slip into the showers that no one use. Since my class is so large, I can get away with it. It’s an art Jon and I perfected during middle school and the first two and a half years of high school.

“Made any new friends yet?” Jon asked and there was a dog barking in the background, Marley. He was already home, lucky bastard

“No.”

“Great.” I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Thanks, Jon.” I grumbled.

He chuckled.

“What classes are you taking?”

“Spanish, gym, chemistry, art theory, math, history, study hall, chem lab and I don’t know what that last class was, I was asleep.”

“Way to go, man.”

“I hate this school, Jon. It’s like.. Hell.”

“Shit! I gotta go, man, Mom’s home.”

“Bye, Jon.”

This new school thing, it ain’t working for me.

+-+-+
Ryan
+-+-+

I woke up feeling as if a semi ran over me. I rolled over and grabbed my cell phone off the charger. I groaned, dialing William’s number out of memory. I seriously felt like I’d drank too much the night before and now my head was caving it. My head had that ache you get when you’re hung over, just without the drinking the night before.

“Hello?”

“Hey Will.” I coughed.

“Are you sick?” he asked.

“If burning fever, exploding brain and watery eyes all count as sick, then yes.” I groaned, laying back on the mattress of my full-size bed.

“I’ll be over in a few minutes.”

“You don’t have to miss school for me.”

“I’m going to. Be ready to watch several really bad movies and eat burnt chicken noodle, Ryan.”

I laughed and we hung up.

---

“Ewwww, that’s guy’s guts are on the outside of his body, William! Why would you show me this?” I cried, burying my head into his chest as I attempted to rid the image that was burned into my retinas.

“This is why.” he said, guiding my chin up and kissing me.

“Hey, you’re gonna get sick!”

“I’ll deal with that if it comes. I have an excellent immune system.” he boasted. I chuckled and turned into his shoulder. I still didn’t feel any better but at least I had William with me.

---

“This is THE worst soup I have ever tasted!” I spat the soup out back into the bowl and put it on the nightstand. My head felt less like it was caught in a landslide and my body didn’t ache. I wasn’t coughing as badly and thankfully, my temperature was slowly returning to normal. But the soup Will had made me? Absolutely terrible.

“I told you!” my boyfriend laughed and kissed my forehead.

“Guts and terrible soup, who knew that was the cure for the common cold.” I laughed in response and William’s cell phone buzzed.

“I should be going home. Get some sleep, Ry.” he kissed me again before pulling his shoes on and jacket before dashing out my bedroom door. I curled up into a tight ball, put my aching head on the cushioning pillow, closed my eyes and just… drifted off, I guess you could call it. I drifted off until I wasn’t there anymore but I wasn’t sleeping either. It was somewhere in between but I’d take it what I could get for now.