Wanna Tell You How I Feel Inside

I awoke the next morning by light streaming in through my open window. I groaned, pulling the blinds closed. Whoever invented the sun is a douche bag. Oh, wait. Shut up everyone laughing at me right now. I turned onto my back, my arm draped across my eyes. I was really hoping to wake up back in Hawthorne instead of still being in fucking Huntington Beach.

I finally reached the Baker household. Shockingly I wasn’t followed. Wait, that’s not shocking. Not after the performance back there. I scratched my head as I realized I had no key and Mr. Baker had locked the door after we left. A sudden light bulb went off in my head as I thought of the clichés I always hear about. I looked under the plant next to the door and couldn’t stop my laughter. Really? Key under the plant pot bullshit? Smart Bakers.

I quickly unlocked the door, tossing the key into the soil of the plant. They’ll find it eventually. I stomped up the steps, pretty sure this was the last time I’d have to ascend them. I pulled my suitcase back out from my closest, beginning to toss in the small amount of clothes I had in my drawers into the brown luggage. I heard the front door open and smirked to myself. Here’s the cavalry to tell me I’m going.

“Sage?” I rolled my eyes at Mr. Baker’s unsure voice. Your front door is unlocked and I have nowhere to go out to, where else would I be right now? Oh yeah, on the next bus to Hawthorne. But then all the police and legal shit would get involved. I’d rather not have ‘runaway’ on my record.

“Upstairs. Packing.” I heard the footsteps coming up the stairs and voices. Who the fuck do they need to come talk to me? Really all they needed to do was send Jefferson and I’d be fine. My door opened to reveal Mr. and Mrs. Baker. I heard Zacky walk into his own room, something along the lines of ‘not wanting to see the bitch’. I’m perfectly fine with that, I’d probably want to kill him if I were to see his face.

“Sage, stop.” I raised an eyebrow and tossed the shirt I was holding into my suitcase. I turned to face them fully, my arms crossed in front of me.

“What? If I’m leaving like I plan to, I need my stuff. You can forward my posters and Cds to my new foster home, hoping I’m there long enough. If not just have them send it to the next name. Perhaps even two ahead since by the time the postal service catches up I’ll be there,” I rambled, continuing to toss clothes in my bags.

“You’re not going anywhere. You’re staying right here,” Mrs. Baker said with a smile. I froze and raised an eyebrow at them.

“Crazy lady say whaaaa?”

“Sage, we’re not stupid.” Coulda fooled me. “We know you are choosing to lash out due to the sudden environment change.”

I couldn’t stop the laughter from leaving my throat. “Is that seriously what you believe?”

“Sage, we know all about your disliking to moving. We know you wanted to stay with your friends and I don’t blame you. I would feel the same exact way if I were in your shoes. We’ll put this past us and continue to have you stay here. We are determined to make this your first and last foster home.” My only response was my mouth falling open.

“We’ll leave you to get reorganized. We hope to see you down at dinner.” They both left my room, shutting the door behind them. I shoved my suitcase off my bed, falling on it face first. I screamed loudly into my pillow, my arms and legs thrashing wildly to hit the bed below me repeatedly. I huffed, going completely limp.

This is going to be harder than I thought.

I rubbed my eyes and sighed at the memory of last night. Why did killing people have to be illegal? If I were to just kill off Zacky I know I would be moving onto the next foster home. Or just in jail. Well if that wouldn’t put my plans to a stop, I dunno what will. I climbed out of my bed and slowly headed to my dresser where my clothes were once again. I picked up some denim shorts that stopped at mid thigh, a black baby tee, and my trusty black converse with some socks. In case you were wondering why I am dressed slightly like a cheerleader, for lack of words that would be offensive, it’s because I plan on going to the beach. So I lied to Ms. Hemmy. I was absolutely in love with the beach. I was hoping that lie would help me stay in Hawthorne! As I walked to the bathroom door, Zacky exited.

“Hi.” I said blankly. He was only dressed in slightly tight jeans, at least in the crotch area. His tattoos were easily visible with no shirt on. On his head was a towel that he was using to dry his hair. His eyes rolled as he walked forward pass me to go to his room. “I’m being civil and suddenly I’m ignored?”

“Well you punched me in the face yesterday and called me a faggot. If you can’t see why I chose not to talk to you, someone needs to get her brain fixed.” He slammed his door and I could hear Pantera leek out from behind the closed door.

“Men are such babies,” I muttered, walking into the bathroom and slamming the door myself. I quickly locked it before shedding down to my birthday suit. Soon I was in the shower, enjoying the warm water. After I was finished, I quickly changed into my new outfit. I strolled out of the bathroom in a fashion similar to Zacky. On my head I had my towel draped over my hair as I used it to wring out water. I closed my door, still being able to hear Pantera though now it was a bit clearer. I rolled my eyes in disbelief. What, did he have it at maximum?

Once my hair was mostly dry I simply tossed it in a quick ponytail. It really wasn’t long enough to call a ponytail Guess it would be a dog tail? Either way, you know what I mean. I left my bangs down, not really in the mood for trying to forced them into the dog tail. I am so glad my hair is naturally straight. I slipped on my necklace that was a simple chain that held a ring with a red stone in it. It was my mother’s before she gave it to me as she laid in her death bed. I shook away the memory before leaving my room. I skipped down the stairs, alternating each foot on the next step.

“You seem in a better mood.” I turned to see the infamous Matt walking through the front door.

“Isn’t that a bit rude? Just walking into a home that’s not your’s?” I asked, ignoring his comment.

“Well isn’t a bit rude to be rude to people who aren’t your guests?” I turned around to see Zacky walking down the stairs. Why does this seem to be the only time we talked? I always seem to walk down the steps shortly followed by Zacky. He now had a Jack Daniels shirt on which was really strange since he’s underage. Hoorah! Minors sponsoring alcoholic beverages that they shouldn’t been able to know what it tastes like.

“Well he’s in my home too so I think I have the right,” I shoved back in his face. Zacky rolled his eyes as I left them to walk into where I remember the kitchen being.

“She seems in a better mood,” I heard Matt repeat to Zacky.

“Not by much.” he muttered in response. I rolled my eyes at their stupidity. Did they not know I could still hear them? I was suddenly assaulted by the smell of grilled cheese. I grinned seeing Mrs. Baker in front of the stove. Next to her on the counter sat at least six sandwiches piled on a plate. She turned around, smiling at me.

“Good morning Sage, Zacky, Matt. Would you like some food?”

“Duhh,” all three of us chorused. Instead of getting pissed off I chuckled. This apparently shocked everyone because all the others froze in their spot.

“What? When it’s just me and Zacky it’s annoying. When there’s more it’s funny,” I defended, shrugging. I walked over to where I assumed the plates were. I mentally cheered when I was right. I pulled out three plates and then three cups from the cabinet next to it. “Anyone want juice?”

“Me!” Matt shouted as he sat at the island. Zacky numbly nodded, seeming to be pulled off guard with my sudden niceness. Here’s my idea while I pour these fools their drinks. The only reason Mr. and Mrs. Baker didn’t send me home last night is because I’m ‘new’ here and ‘too busy missing my old friends’. While these are both true only I know it’s more. If I pretend that I’m okay with this and play nice then I can easily just turn back around in a week and hopefully leave. Sure it means staying here longer than I wanted but as long as it works, okay. I placed Matt and Zacky’s glasses of apple juice in front of them before dividing up the sandwiches. Mrs. Baker had excused herself, saying she’d eat at work. I sat down their plates, choosing to stand across from them.

“So what’s with the suddenly hospitality?” Zacky's question has broken the silence that fell on us. I looked up, still taking a sip from my glass. Zacky and Matt both watched me until I finally placed down my cup.

“Well I guess we just started off on the wrong foot. I was a bit pissy for having to leave my home and it wasn’t right for me to snap out. I apologize.” I had to literally spit that out with a smile on my face. That was the last thing I wanted to say to him, but I had to go with it. I really wish my plans didn’t have to change so much. Zacky seemed to look in my eyes for any sign of a joke. When he came up empty handed, he smiled.

“Me too. Let’s start over. I’m Zacky Baker.” I shook his extended hand with a smile.

“Sage. Nice to meet you.”