Tales From Another Broken Home

As soon as I walked into the room I felt uncomfortable.

About fifteen or so ratty-looking teenagers were gathered in the small, smoke-filled house in the middle of a very cramped Californian suburb. The carpet was a gross-looking brownish color, riddled with various stains and ground in ashes. There was no music playing, just the low buzzing sound of voices meshing into one background-filling sound, perfect for having a conversation without anyone but the people immediate overhearing. Everyone seemed to have a cigarette, or something that looked like it, inbetween their fingers.

As soon as Jimmy walked into the room, a great number of people turned to greet him, and he raised a hand and nodded in response. I would have laughed - he seemed like a celebrity or something - but I felt too nervous and out of place.

Jimmy sauntered over to the velvety-looking couch against the right wall and plopped down, propping his head up with his hand. I stood in the doorway, not quite sure if I should go over there, fidgeting awkwardly. Jimmy glanced over at me and frowned.

“Get over here,” I heard him hiss over the chattering crowd, gesturing for me to come join him. I felt weird about leaving my shoes on in someone’s home, but somehow, I didn’t think they cared.

I scurried over to the couch where Jimmy was, squeezing past a trio of boys, and slowly lowered myself down to sit next to Jimmy. I felt uncomfortable sitting on someone else’s couch, someone who I hadn’t met, in the first place, not to mention that the couch looked and even felt sort of disgusting. I teetered in the very edge of the cushion, back straight upright, not wanting to touch it as much as possible.

“Hey!” I heard Jimmy say from the left of me all of a sudden, elongating the word in an extremely laid-back sort of way. I felt his weight shift off the couch as he stood to enthusiastically greet a tall boy with exceptionally short blonde hair wearing a pair of dark jeans and a beater.

“What’s up?” Jimmy asked the blonde, to receive the extremely generic answer of “Not much, you?” Jimmy replied with something similar, then took a seat back down on the couch.

The blonde glanced at me, and immediately introduced himself.

“I don‘t think I‘ve ever seen you before,” he said with a cocky grin on his face, “I’m Colin.”

“Oh, hi,” I said, starting up at him. He really was quite tall. “I’m-”

“Holy shit!” Jimmy suddenly exclaimed, cutting me off. I jumped at the sudden outburst, adrenaline immediately shooting through my veins. I felt my heart pounding in my chest, my hands shaking, and I tried to calm myself down from the extremely overdramatic reaction.

“What?” Colin asked Jimmy, furrowing his brows.

“I don’t even know who you are!” he said, looking over at me. “What the hell is even your name, anyway?”

I stared at him, mouth slightly open, a bit astonished by his reaction.

“It's Abigail,” I said, staring at Jimmy.

“I like Abbey better,” he said suddenly, cocking one of his brows at me as if he were thinking. “Yeah. Definitely Abbey.”

“Uhm, why?” I asked, confused.

“I dunno,” he said, leaning back into the couch. “I guess you just look more like an Abbey.”

I paused, not sure whether to laugh or give him a weird look, but Colin saved me the trouble of making a decision.

“I think I like Abbey better, too,” he said, looking me over with a smile on his face, arms crossed. I kinda felt like he was scrutinizing me and checking me out at the same time. I was a bit flattered, but even more uncomfortable.

“Okay then,” I said quietly, not quite sure else to say. Colin smiled and took a seat next to me on the couch, angling his body in my direction.

“Besides, I think Abbey sounds a bit cuter, you know? It suits you,” he said with an, I had to admit it, charming flash of white teeth.

“Christ, Colin, you’ve only known her two seconds, ya fuckin’ whore,” Jimmy said, pulling out a cigarette and putting it inbetween his lips.

“Lighten up, Jimmy, it's okay if she’s single,” Colin said with a wink. “You are single, right Abbey?”

“Alright, alright, we get it, you’re a horny fucker, now why don’t you go bug Oliva, she’s easy,” Jimmy said, rolling his eyes. I wasn’t quite sure, but I thought I detected a hint of actual irritation in his voice.

“Fine, killjoy,” Colin said, standing up. “It was nice to meet you, Abbey.”

He chuckled, giving Jimmy a friendly clap on the knee, and sauntered off into the kitchen.

I sat there, feeling very awkward on the smelly couch with Jimmy, amidst the chattering and the smoke, although I was surprisingly already used to the scent of it. I heard the click of a lighter and I glanced over, seeing Jimmy light up. I bit my lip, and turned my head away.

“Your turn, babe,” he said, scooting up to where I was on the couch. He slouched forward and held a cigarette up to my lips, urging me to take it. I was not only completely startled by the use of the word “babe,” but I also was still extremely nervous about this whole absurd situation. I made to open my mouth to talk, but Jimmy interrupted me.

“You promised,” he said, drawing out the word. He gave me a charming look mixed with puppy-dog eyes, and I sighed.

“I dunno…”

“Come on, it's not like you’re gonna get addicted or anything,” he said in a surprisingly calm tone, “it's only one. Trust me. It's not bad. I just want you to try it.”

Without even thinking about it, I grabbed the cigarette from between his fingers and put it into my mouth. Jimmy grinned and lit his plastic lighter, holding it up for me.

“Inhale a couple times to light it,” he informed me, and after a couple tries, I finally got it lit. I took a breath in, trying to inhale the smoke, but as soon as it hit my throat, I let out a small cough. Jimmy smirked, his eyes twinkling in a mischievous, sort of knowing look, and lit his own cigarette.

“You have to kinda push it into your lungs,” he said with an arrogant chuckle, looking up at me through his lashes. I glanced at him, feeling extremely uncomfortable, and nodded.

I felt my heart start to race as I really realized what I was doing. This went completely against my morals, what I’ve been taught - everything that I was. I stared at the smoking cigarette inbetween my fingers, little bits of grey slowly creeping up as it burned. This was wrong, completely wrong.

“See, it isn’t so bad,” Jimmy said, scooching back on the couch. I suddenly noticed how close he was to me; I could feel his leg touching mine, and I felt heat rise up to my face. I sat there, frozen for a moment, then took in a deep drag of the cigarette.

“Yeah, I guess it isn’t.”

Jimmy grinned at me, and suddenly, I didn’t feel so terrible. In fact, I leaned back on the couch, resting my head against the back of it, right next to him, and took another drag. I gave him a small smile, and he chuckled, bringing the cigarette up to his lips.

Suddenly, even though my brain told me it was wrong, my racing heart told me it was just so right.