Neon Hurt
this record has been playing since the day you've been with him
“Are you leaving?” Mira asked, rolling over as she felt Brendon’s warm body shift away from her.
Even though the room was still dark, Mira could see Brendon’s shoulders hunch and his eyebrows knit together. He didn’t like it when she got up with him. He could tell she was still tired. She was always tired, now. She heard him take a step back towards their bed, and suddenly she was warm again.
“Yes,” He said, kissing her forehead and leaning backwards so he wasn’t hovering over her. “Go back to sleep, baby. I’ll be home early and we’ll go out to eat.”
Before she had time to respond, Brendon was walking out of the room. She could barely make out his figure, sliding out the door and walking down the hall way. Mira rolled onto her back, and stared that the ceiling. She felt so irrelevant, laying in bed as her boyfriend made his way to some important music industry meeting. Why wasn’t she allowed to sit on the counter laughing at his foam covered face as he shaved? Why couldn’t she stand in the kitchen, watching him eat breakfast? Why didn’t she get to kiss him goodbye and stand outside the door watching him disappear down the hallway? She felt like she’d become such a constant in his life, he didn’t really even notice her anymore.
Mira rolled into the spot Brendon had been laying in only minutes before and turned on the light. She flipped back onto her back and rested her head on his pillow, inhaling deeply, smiling as she thought of him. She blinked rapidly, hoping it would help her eyes adjust quicker. Mira didn’t know what she was going to do with her morning. She didn’t have to be at work until two, and wouldn’t be home until eight. The smile melted off her face as she thought of work.
Hi, my name is Mira and I’ll be your server tonight.
Suddenly, all she could hear were people, yelling their orders at her. She rubbed her temples, and tried to shut out the endless drink orders that clouded her mind. Mira heard Brendon re-enter the room, but she didn’t look at him. She focused ahead. She didn’t know why she felt so confused. There was a part of her mind that knew everything made sense, but at the same time, she was frazzled. Her hands shook slightly as though someone had startled her. But her heartbeat hadn’t increased. Her body hadn’t jolted away from something. It was like a part of her mind was malfunctioning all of a sudden.
“Mira,” Brendon said, interrupting her thought process. She looked at him, her eyes narrowed slightly. “Are you okay? Do you feel alright?”
The concern in his voice melted Mira – nothing in the world could be wrong if Brendon cared about her. “I’m fine,” She said, smiling at him convincingly. “I just zoned out for a minute there.”
He smiled back at her. Brendon was every bit as in love as Mira was. Her smile changed his life. In his mind, it was the most beautiful thing in the world. He wanted her to be happy, more than anything. He was happy because he thought she was happy. She’d told him that she missed Mississippi, and that she didn’t really like California, but he’d always thought that was a result of something that had happened in the day. He thought that someone had been difficult, demanding thing after thing until finally, they left, having decided the restaurant wasn’t what they wanted. He assumed that on the way home, someone had cut her off. It never occurred to Brendon that she honestly couldn’t live in this city. He never thought that she was being serious when she said she couldn’t stand it. She seemed happy. She was happy when she was around him. But the second he left the room, she died a little bit more on the inside.
Even though the room was still dark, Mira could see Brendon’s shoulders hunch and his eyebrows knit together. He didn’t like it when she got up with him. He could tell she was still tired. She was always tired, now. She heard him take a step back towards their bed, and suddenly she was warm again.
“Yes,” He said, kissing her forehead and leaning backwards so he wasn’t hovering over her. “Go back to sleep, baby. I’ll be home early and we’ll go out to eat.”
Before she had time to respond, Brendon was walking out of the room. She could barely make out his figure, sliding out the door and walking down the hall way. Mira rolled onto her back, and stared that the ceiling. She felt so irrelevant, laying in bed as her boyfriend made his way to some important music industry meeting. Why wasn’t she allowed to sit on the counter laughing at his foam covered face as he shaved? Why couldn’t she stand in the kitchen, watching him eat breakfast? Why didn’t she get to kiss him goodbye and stand outside the door watching him disappear down the hallway? She felt like she’d become such a constant in his life, he didn’t really even notice her anymore.
Mira rolled into the spot Brendon had been laying in only minutes before and turned on the light. She flipped back onto her back and rested her head on his pillow, inhaling deeply, smiling as she thought of him. She blinked rapidly, hoping it would help her eyes adjust quicker. Mira didn’t know what she was going to do with her morning. She didn’t have to be at work until two, and wouldn’t be home until eight. The smile melted off her face as she thought of work.
Hi, my name is Mira and I’ll be your server tonight.
Suddenly, all she could hear were people, yelling their orders at her. She rubbed her temples, and tried to shut out the endless drink orders that clouded her mind. Mira heard Brendon re-enter the room, but she didn’t look at him. She focused ahead. She didn’t know why she felt so confused. There was a part of her mind that knew everything made sense, but at the same time, she was frazzled. Her hands shook slightly as though someone had startled her. But her heartbeat hadn’t increased. Her body hadn’t jolted away from something. It was like a part of her mind was malfunctioning all of a sudden.
“Mira,” Brendon said, interrupting her thought process. She looked at him, her eyes narrowed slightly. “Are you okay? Do you feel alright?”
The concern in his voice melted Mira – nothing in the world could be wrong if Brendon cared about her. “I’m fine,” She said, smiling at him convincingly. “I just zoned out for a minute there.”
He smiled back at her. Brendon was every bit as in love as Mira was. Her smile changed his life. In his mind, it was the most beautiful thing in the world. He wanted her to be happy, more than anything. He was happy because he thought she was happy. She’d told him that she missed Mississippi, and that she didn’t really like California, but he’d always thought that was a result of something that had happened in the day. He thought that someone had been difficult, demanding thing after thing until finally, they left, having decided the restaurant wasn’t what they wanted. He assumed that on the way home, someone had cut her off. It never occurred to Brendon that she honestly couldn’t live in this city. He never thought that she was being serious when she said she couldn’t stand it. She seemed happy. She was happy when she was around him. But the second he left the room, she died a little bit more on the inside.