Salt in the Wound

I couldn’t sleep that night. Unlike most nights this happened, I didn’t turn to Gaara to find comfort. I found myself on the roof, laying against the cold sand that lined the top of the building and staring at the crowded night time sky. It’s strange how when you know death is knocking at your door, everything seems so…petty and unimportant suddenly. Every fight, every disagreement, every friendship lost and regretted, was nothing anymore. All that mattered was the people I cared for now and their safety, their lives. I guess I saw it as a chance to redeem myself. That night so long ago when I fell first before everyone around me did I realized, I didn’t try hard enough. I now had that power and that motivation to sacrifice everything this time for a better cause. It’s too bad it took me this long to own up to that.

Roka would die by my hand and my hand only. This was my suffering and who was I to let that creep into places it didn’t deserve to be. This was my war. My battle, my pain and burden to bear. My mind wandered away to less gloomy places and I struggled to retain my calm exterior.

I wouldn’t have the chance to get married or have children. I wouldn’t get to see my friends find happiness or watch Gaara find his niche in the world either. All these important things would be unreachable if I died in battle. My hands clenched, nails digging into my palms and drawing a fine line of blood to the surface. I wouldn’t die and Roka wouldn’t get the chance to get the best of me. Like Hitsuchi had said, there would be no use for him to fully emerge if I could kill him before he killed me. I forced myself to think of happier things, trying to crush out this empty gnawing in my chest.

It was nothing more than a vague sketch of a fantasy but the visions in my head made me hopeful. A future with him, a life around people dear to me, a fitting end to a long and well lived life. Maybe one day I could make this sight ring true, but until then I could only wish and wait for my chance to let it happen. I heard a faint noise through Gaara’s open window, the sound of voices. Silently, I made my way back down to my balcony, looking over unseen through his window.

Three of our ANBU men stood in front of the Kazekage, their stances well worn out from traveling at the speed they had. I listened with interest at their reports, my face growing more grim with the more I heard.

“At earliest, they will be ambushing by tomorrow evening.” It made sense they would wait until night fall. It was hard to ambush something in broad daylight with no coverage whatsoever. And we would wait, ready to defend. “We are about evenly matched in size but it’s questionable as they do harbor more special powers than we have available. Like that copy nin, Kakashi. Or even worse, that jinjuriki boy.” Gaara waved his hand in dismissal.

“Uzumaki Naruto is of no concern to me. I put my faith in him that he knows what a blatant mistake this is and I know he will not do us any harm. For now, warn the team leaders of this news and make sure everyone is prepared.” He slipped the team formations to the closest man and nodded. “I want everything in place before sundown tomorrow.” They bowed and in a flash turned away in a rush of air. The young leader put his head in his hands, worn down by the stress that had been placed upon his shoulders. He got out from behind his desk and walked over to the window. Closing his eyes and letting the cool night air caress him. “Are you ready?” He said suddenly.

I smiled and leaned my head back. Of course he knew I was there, he deserved more credit than I gave him.

“As ready as I ever will be. Are you?”

“Certainly not.” Laughing lightly, I shook my head whether or not he could see me.

“That’s too bad, I thought you said you were going to protect me. I wasn’t aware it was going to be such a drastic role reversal.” He shook his own head and crossed his arms.

“Ishiko, don‘t even start.” I was glad to hear that humorous tone in his voice. Letting me know he wasn’t completely insane yet. God knows I would have been by now, who knows, maybe he just hid it better. “You’re up rather late.”
I shrugged and rolled my shoulders back, watching the stars again. “I couldn’t sleep. Too anxious I guess.” He nodded and opened his window a little wider, sticking his head out.

“It is a rather nice night out. Care if I join you?”

“Not in the slightest.” He jumped out of his window before taking my hand and pouncing up onto the ledge of the roof. His arm wrapped around my mid section, pulling me closer so I didn’t stumble backwards and fall back. “You’re warm.” I said as his body heat stung the edge of my comfortably cold skin.

“And you’re not.” He replied smartly. He sat me down in his lap as he set himself down on the roof, his face but a ghostly image in the pale moonlight. “This is your last night to have some peace and quiet. Are you sure you don’t mind me staying here with you?” Was that a hint of insecurity I had heard in his soft words? I shook my head and rested down below his chin, curling up in his lap. His hands were careful and cautious but no doubt they wrapped around me firmly.

“I want no other way than to spend my last night here with you.”

“Last night here?” He asked, his hand lifting my chin up towards his face. He narrowed his eyes and his voice got harder. “What do you mean your last night here? Are you planning on leaving?” I was quick to shake my head. Almost too quick.

“That came out wrong actually. I meant to say my last night before Konoha comes.” I smiled cheekily and shook his hand away. “Of course I’m staying. How could I leave so willingly?” My voice grew faint and I sighed, curling up again and breathing in the light smell of spices and desert rain that surrounded him. He made a defiant noise and put his chin on the top of my head, inhaling softly.

“Do you know what you smell like?” I made a small noise indicating he should tell me, “you smell like apples and blossoms. You have since I met you. It’s…attractive.” He said it awkwardly and I smiled, it was still cute when he struggled to act what he liked to call ‘agonizingly normal.’ We both knew he didn’t mean it when he said that. We sat in comfortable silence and soon, I began to drift away in his arms. My eyes glanced open as he jumped down to the ledge, cradling me as he took me back to my room.

“Why are we going back already?” I whispered, my hand drifting up to wrap around his neck. Gently lying me down on the bed he began to pull to the blankets up. “I can’t sleep like this.” I said sleepily, “pants off please, and maybe my training shirt…” I saw him shake his head at me before his hands gently started at my shoes, unlatching them and throwing them to the floor. His hand grazed up my leg before reaching the button on my pants. “Watch yourself boy.” I teased.

“You talk too much when you’re tired.” He teased back. He slid the pants off not bothering to hide the fact he was staring at my black under garments that hung low on my hips. I grinned and stretched for him, watching his eyes widen suggestively.

“You think you could sleep here tonight?” He looked away and I quickly rebounded, “or even just lay here with me for awhile?” I grinned and a small smile met his lips.

“Sure, but if I fall asleep I need you to wake me up when you do. Tomorrow is going to be busy.” His shoulders slumped and he crawled into bed with me after undressing slightly in an almost defeated manner. Poor thing, all work and no play. We rearranged ourselves until my body wrapped around his and his cradled mine. I could hear his heart beat as I drifted back away into sleep.

“Gaara…?”

“Hm?” His voice was almost as distant as mine.

“You‘re going to think I‘m completely insane.” Even as close to passing out as I was I knew this was a stretch, “but I think…I think I love you.” He tensed a little bit but not too long after he ran his hand through my hair and clenched me closer.

“You’re right, I do think you’re crazy.”

Even though he didn’t say it back, I smiled. I got it off my chest and it felt good to be open with everything I could be. I nuzzled closer and sighed sleepily. “Goodnight Gaara-kun.” And sleep found me.

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“Hey, we’re gonna see each other after this right? Unless you’re gonna need me to save your ass.” Kankuro grinned at me, nudging me softly with his shoulder. He had made me laugh even under the severe pressure that seemed to cut into my neck.

“Trust me boy, I’ll be the one saving you” my face softened and I pulled him into a sudden hug. “Good luck, don’t get crazy alright? I would absolutely die if someone got to you before I did.” I smiled and pulled back and despite Gaara’s watchful eyes, Kankuro kissed me on the forehead.

“Everything will be fine Ishi.” He cast a disappointed glance at this group of three behind him and sighed. “I better get off before these guys decide to leave without me.” I waved him off and turned towards Temari who was trying to make conversation with Gaara. Something that wasn’t working out too well. She huffed and turned towards me, a grin on her face.

“Keep him in line will you? He will listen to you, not so much me.” Her eyes darkened sadly as she pulled me into a tight hug and almost seemed to sob into my shoulder. “Please be careful Ishi! There are so many things we haven’t gotten to do together yet. Ya know, girl things! If you don‘t make it you‘re just gonna leave me with two boys. One‘s a creep and the other doesn‘t like anyone but you. Come on…” Gaara made an impatient noise behind me and we broke away, a watery smile on her face. “Alright Gaara, I’m going.”

“Don’t worry Temari,” I put my hand on her shoulder and squeezed reassuringly. “We will have plenty of time to do everything and anything you want.” A sharp pain flashed in my chest as I lied through me teeth nearly. Hopefully I would get to do all those horribly fluffy things with her like I said. As horrible as ‘girl things’ sounded, anything would be better than oblivion. She turned away as well, dashing off with her group towards the southern part of the village. My eyes turned over my shoulder and I glanced at Gaara. He was setting out directions for the rest of our team, a group specially designed in fast deaths and steady marks.

“Ishiko, follow us.” In a flash he was leaping forward, guiding the group and soon to follow me. Every second felt like a minute, and it wasn’t long before the sand eventually took it’s toll on me and I felt tired. A bad thing to be when preparing for battle. We arrived at a wall, which as expected we had to run up to reach the barrier that over looked the outside of the south west part of the wall. Nothing yet. Not one of us said a word, the most that happened is one of us would steal a glance at the other. I made sure to pray before I felt my heart sink.

In the distance the sun sank lower, calling nightfall down upon us like rain. The sun made the sky a burnt orange in color but didn’t fail to splatter it with dark, eerie red light. An omen of the blood that would ultimately spill. “Are you ready?” Gaara whispered from behind me, I gave a curt nod and snuck my hand into his. Squeezing slightly, my eyes met his, startled and wide.

“Remember what I said. Don’t be stupid.” His eyes narrowed and he turned away, still struggling to find meaning in my words. It was in that moment I turned my head to glance up at the slowly darkening sky that a kunai flew over my head and pinned itself in the wall, slicing straight through the few raven dark strands that were lifted in the breeze. My own hand found my Tanto and I gripped hard, listening to the sound of the first scrape as metal collided with metal.

War was upon us and it was only a matter of time before Roka creeped out to claim his kill.