Salt in the Wound

My eyes searched both their faces, waiting for anything to prove to me this wasn’t real. Their smiles faltered and they looked at each other, eyebrows pushed together. “What are you doing Ishi?” I sighed and closed my eyes, maybe this was real.

“I don’t know what you mean by the in-between. Are you saying I’m in limbo or something?” Kimiko shrugged and gave me a sort of nod. I slunk back against the tree, “that’s great, I die and end up here. Surely I thought I earned something a little higher than this.” My mind wandered back and I could feel the tears rising up, Gaara. I wouldn’t ever see him again only just live with the reminder of him now. I was starting to feel more and more like I was in some sort of my own personal hell rather than limbo. “What do you mean stuck? Wait, how am I here if I don’t have a soul?” I raised my eyebrows, this was simply making no sense. I could feel a warmth coiling in the confines of my chest, ignoring it I settled my eyes back on theirs.

“You sure ask a lot of questions Ishi…” The little girl raised her eyebrow at me and grinned. “What’s it like back where you were?” She asked, sitting herself down in the lush grass in front of me. I narrowed my eyes as they evaded my questions but soon sat down with her. Sumiko ran to me and threw herself in my lap, this all seemed too surreal.

“It’s full of…sand.” I couldn’t help but smile at them as their faces dropped. “Nothing like our village was. But the people are good and it’s almost as pretty as home was at sunset.“ My face fell and it didn’t go unnoticed.

“What’s wrong Ishi? Aren’t you happy to see us?” Sumiko said, placing her cold, pale hand to my cheek. Her eyes shimmered in the light and I wasn’t quite sure how to answer her at first.

“Of course I’m happy to see you. But…” I looked away and Kimiko’s eyes softened. It almost chilled me to realize how much more aware of things she had become.

“Did you leave someone important behind?” She said suddenly. Sumiko made a questioning noise and looked up at me curiously. I couldn’t speak so I settled for a plain nod. “Ishi, about what you said earlier, I’m confused.” Without looking away from the wavering grass I gave another nod. “Well, you said you didn’t have a soul right? But you can’t be here without a soul…”

I looked up at her with a raised eyebrow. “I can’t explain it either,” the warmth in my chest got hotter and I clasped a hand to my body with a growl of pain. “Something’s wrong.” Sumiko turned around and fell backwards, a look of horror on her face. My eyes followed and I shook, a small spot of blood bloomed on my shirt along with a golden wisp protruding from my chest. “Wh-what is that?!” A bit of pain slipped through and I gasped for air, the world around me going white.

It was only a glimpse but I was sure I saw it. His face was dirty and his eyes were wide, but the look on his face is what chilled me. Turned away, he was snarling at someone out of my vision, hate in his eyes and sand lashing forward. Then it all came back. The blue skies and the green grass, like nothing had ever happened. A hand instinctively reach up towards my chest.

No blood, just the flimsy material of the fabric it was made of.

“I saw him.” I stood up and looked around, frantically searching for something out of place. “Where is he? Tell me, where is he?!” I growled and I could feel my skin prickling. This wasn’t right, I could feel the power of Hitsuchi raging through my blood stream and yet, he wasn’t there. The girls stepped back and I could see that all familiar sense of fear cross their faces. It stopped me dead. “Don’t be scared, please.” I collapsed to the ground in defeat and looked up at them through my hair. “I don‘t know what just happened.”

“You are slipping in and out.” Kimiko’s eyes were staring up at the sky and in them, I watched the clouds shift shapes. “Like I said, you’re between the living and the dead, you’re soul is trying to gather up enough strength to bring you back because, you‘re not entirely dead it seems.” I was about to remind her that I had no soul when I suddenly remembered what I had seen before I died. Hitsuchi had bitten through his tail and as far as I remembered it had been sucked right back into me. Would that mean…I’m here only because of the little soul he spared me? “Is there a way to slip all the way through? Back to the living?”

Kimiko thought for a second before napping her fingers at me. “Maybe! You need more soul in you!” I frowned, not expecting that kind of answer. Who was I kidding, in the end I was speaking to what supposedly seemed to be a little girl. “The soul you have isn’t your’s right?”

“Right.” I had a million other questions in my brain so it was hard for me to even try considering what she was getting at. All I knew is my mission, to get back to Gaara and see if everything had tuned out ok there.

“Well, then we need to find your real soul!” Sumiko clapped her hands together and I couldn’t help but sweat drop at the sight. “Where would it be though?” She said.

“That’s easy,” Kimiko said smartly, “it’s where Ishi would be.” This was going to be a long day.

We had been sitting for what seemed like hours, trying to figure out where my soul would be and even more, how to get there. “This isn’t working.” I said finally, throwing myself back so the grass could wrap itself around me. “How do you guys get around?” They glanced at each other and looked confused, finally Kimiko turned towards me and frowned.

“I can’t explain it.” That had been the answer I had received to most of my questions. If it wasn’t that then it was ‘that’s just the way it is.’ The pains in my chest had started getting worse and I had this ominous feeling I was running out of time. Even worse, if things had worked out according to plan all I needed was to come back to the living and find myself buried six feet under the ground.

“I know where I need to go.” I said firmly, sitting up. If I were to be anywhere right now, I would be by Gaara. The answer was simple, but finding a way to transport myself there was a whole different idea. “We are running out of time though so we need to find a way to get there and fast.” I was quick to get on my feet and the girls followed. Kimiko explained to me that when she wanted to leave this place for a new one she just pictured it in her head and she was there. Shutting my eyes I pictured the rolling waves of sand, more importantly I pictured him. Slowly I opened my eyes, the dissapointment was almost unbearable. “I didn’t go anywhere.”

The girls grabbed my clenched hands and slipped their own tiny palm inside. “We can help! Tell us what it looks like.” I thought back hard, it was sandy, really what else could I say.

“Well, that’s difficult. If I describe to you a person can we travel by that knowledge?” The girl to my left nodded and I brought my head back up. “He has short hair the color of brick, oh and with eyes the color of a turquoise stone. His eyes have dark circles lining them and he wears a face like this.” I pulled my face into one of a scowl and they giggled. I remembered having practiced that in my bathroom mirror when I had been locked up. Even Kankuro had said it looked exactly like him. They both made sick faces at me before I laughed and asked them to try with me. All three of our matching eyes were closed and I hoped to the best of my mind they were thinking the same thing as me.

Gaara.

The ground shifted beneath my feet and suddenly I could feel the faint but familiar feeling of the sand sinking in beneath my weight. Eyes open I looked around. “What is this place?” Sumiko breathed out in disbelief. A small smile met my lip as I cast my eyes downwards.

“This is Suna.”

I look around once again and soon I realized I shouldn’t have brought them. We had landed by a severed body, insides spilling out like water. Sumiko grasped onto my leg and stifled a cry, even little Kimiko slapped her hands to her eyes. “What happened here?!” She cried out. The air was wavering, it wasn’t clear like it had been. These planes, or whatever they were, seemed to all work simultaneously. It was like looking through water at everything. Distorted and dark.

“There was a war, that’s how I died” I picked up Sumiko and cradled her close, rubbing her back softly as her small head rested in the crook of my neck. I could feel the warm wetness sliding over my collarbone like drops of blood. “Close your eyes Kimiko and take my hand.” Slowly I guided them over the blood ridden sand and mangled bodies. This was worse than I thought. Some of the living walked past us, looking around at the bodies and trying to think of a way to transport them back to their own village. It was a terrible, macabre sight and I felt the need to close my eyes almost as well. I watched Temari run by, her hand stuck close to her ribs while wincing in pain. Shikamaru followed after waving his hands about frantically. “This way, Kimi.” I whispered to her. We quickened our pace and followed suit.

The world started shifting and that spot in my chest whipped out violently. Now was not the best time to be slipping. Pushing the feeling away, I stumbled forward, watching more and more people come into my line of sight. Kimiko peered through her fingers and gasped in terror, her little body shaking. “Ishi! It’s that demon from our village.” She sucked in a ragged breath, putting on a show or bravery for either me or Sumiko, maybe both. Hitsuchi was coiled around what appeared to be a person, huddled over a dark figure. My stomach churned as I got closer and realized the dark figure was my mangled body. Gaara huddled over me, looking over as Temari ran forth. Her foot slipping in the sand and before she could hit the ground Shikamaru wrapped his arms around her.

I was almost glad I couldn’t hear anything as I saw her face contort into rage. Her hands clawed desperately through the air and eventually Shikamaru released her. She stopped short of the dragon tail, wearily watching her brother glare at her and shake his head.

His lips read, “she’s gone” and I almost started to cry again.

“Ishi, look.” Sumiko said, I hadn’t even noticed she had been looking around this entire time. Her finger pointed at Gaara, at first I saw nothing out of place but then as I stepped closer it came into view.

A white, wispy figure was wrapped around Gaara’s shoulder, staring sadly down at the ground and running a hand through his hair. A figure of myself.

So that’s where my soul had been all this time. Following Gaara like a second shadow, it was almost enough to make me laugh. I set Sumiko down and she ran over to the older sister, they embraced each other comfortingly. Upon stepping closer I looked at my body, there was a great possibility that if I did manage to join the two souls within me, I would die just because of the wound damage my body had attained. Was it all really worth it? My eyes shifted towards Gaara and I stepped over the tail of Hitsuchi, kneeling in front of him. His face was dirty and almost appeared to be tear streaked. It was hard to tell through this murky veil. I looked up and locked sight with my soul, her eyes seeming a little more hard than mine were. Something shifted and I followed the line of movement to Hitsuchi’s head. I wasn’t sure if he could see me or not but it looked almost as if he was staring right at me. A little nod with his head and he placed it back on his outstretched talons. He was in pain, I could tell. His body was twitching with tattered nerves and ligaments. He wouldn’t last much longer.

Reaching my hand out I gently caught the sight of my soul, as if in a mirror, her hand lifted as well. Suddenly I dropped it and turned towards my sisters. “I don’t know if this will work.” I said suddenly. Kimiko looked up from her sister’s hair and gave me a small half smile.

“What do you have to lose? Ishi, we will always be waiting here for you to come back. Maybe when you die and go to heaven with mommy and daddy, we can cross over and join everyone there. But I promise, we’ll be there with you even if you can’t see.” I gave a sad, watery nod and turned back. Her hand was still reaching out the touch me.

It was an odd feeling as I touched her. Almost as if I was being sucked into a tiny hole located right near my lungs. I watched as my soul filled my body and the world around me shook, breaking away at the veil that separated me from the living world and the in-between space called limbo.

Eyes, open.

The first thing I saw was the night sky, it’s pin pricks of light glittering in the midnight sky above me. It took less than seven seconds however for the pain of my wounds to hit me. The pain was so agonizing I couldn’t even feel Gaara’s hands clench onto my shoulders, calling out my name with blatant shock. With each shudder of my body, more and more blood spilled out from my wounds.

This was worse than death, much worse.