The Disease Called Men

All bald principals are annoying.

Cerise’s incredible, marvellous facts you’d never know about me:
1. I prefer ice-cream over flowers any day.
2. I’ll admit it. Sometimes I may stretch the truth to make things sound better.
3. But WHOOSH moments will always be truth. Always.
4. I don’t like the boys coming to our school. Yuck. Yuck. YUCK!



Have I ever told you I have super amazing memory? Well, I do. Yes, stop looking at me like that. I do! That’s what helped me become president. No, I did not get help from my bald father, I swear (but Sarah rigging the votes does not count).


Anyway, as I was sitting in class, all of a sudden, my super amazing memory went WHOOSH. And when it goes WHOOSH, it means I get punched in the face. By my memory, I mean.



My memory took me back to yesterday’s meeting. Gross.



Okay, I will admit it. Maybe I did skim over some important information from yesterdays’ meeting. Time for a WHOOSH moment.



“And so, as the principals of the schools,” the bald Principal was saying, “we would like to know your position, ideas and opinions on this matter.”



I hated this. So far, the two principals were telling us all the boring information about the uniting of the two schools, like the costs and important dates. I groaned as I looked around the room. I caught Nikko frowning and glaring at me.

 I remembered Miller whispered to me that Nikko later figured out who I was and had got into some deep shit at school because of me.



Hahahaha. What a loser.



Smiling in return, I fluttered my eyelashes. No, I wasn’t flirting with him. I was doing a more ‘Suck that! In your face!’ – feminine style.

Nikko huffed and turned away. Good. He didn’t misinterpret me.

However, the bald principal did. He frowned at Nikko and turned to me. Before we could make eye contact, I quickly looked away. All of a sudden my attention was on Kyles, who was speaking.



“…I agree with this proposition,” Kyles was saying. I didn’t like him using the word ‘proposition’. It sounded like our schools were getting married. Ew.



“It will be extremely beneficial for both schools,” Kyles continued, “educationally, socially and financially – ”



I raised a hand and spoke up. “I don’t necessarily agree with you on that one, Chlamydia.”



His brows furrowed at me. “Chlamydia? It’s Kyles, remember?”



“Sorry, my mistake Gonorrhoea. Anyway, as I was saying – ”



“I don’t see what there is not to get.” That jerk Nikko interrupted me, turning to face me, “Syphilis pointed out a legitimate and sensible reason.”



“It’s Kyles, Nikko, Kyles. I know you know my name.”



Miller nodded. “I agree with Herpes. I mean, it’s a win-win situation, right?”



“Wrong,” Yasmin glared at Miller. “I disagree with you. I agree with,” she made a face, “Cerise. Since Chancroid’s views are… well, just useless. Also, what will the parents think? What will the students think? Do they get a say in this? Isn’t this a bit of a late notice?”



Raising both arms in the air, the bald Principal cleared his throat. “Actually, the parents of both schools are fully informed in this matter. Most are in favour with the situation.”



“What?!” Yasmin and I cried. “Why?!” I quickly glanced at Yasmin. It felt weird having her agree with me, or be on my side. She bit her lip. We knew we were losing this one.



The bald principal frowned. “I’m sorry, but the verdict has already been decided.”

“Why do you ask for our opinions if you don’t want to listen to them in the first place?” 

Really, what was the point of this? I thought bitterly. I hated this.



Feeling distraught, I surveyed the room. Miller was grinning like a fool and offered an epic high-five to Nikko – which he declined – I chuckled. I always found it funny when somebody was rejected a high-five. Mainly because the rejected would always try to subtly pull off the awkwardness. Miller tried doing that by pretending to extend his hand to comb his hair. Although I was laughing, my laugh sounded hollow.

Glancing at Julia, I noticed she had said nothing during the whole meeting. She was looking down at her lap, her eyes shadowed, hidden by her lush tightly woven ringlets. I felt bad that I couldn’t do anything to stop this uniting of the two schools. Yasmin was going off at the bald principal in private. I appreciated her efforts, but I knew too well that once the bald principal made his decision, he stuck by it. I knew it was impossible because he was more stubborn than his bald head fighting against Rogaine.



I groaned in frustration as I cupped my face. I began to chant to myself ‘there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home’ in vain efforts to wake up from this horrible nightmare. It never works. I massaged my temples. In the background I could hear Kyles annoying voice complain, “Why the hell do you all think I’m an STD?! How rude! I’m a person! I hate you all.”



Okay, maybe I did skim over some important information from yesterdays’ meeting.


Like, oh I don’t know… Maybe like:

• Brookfield students will be moving to our campus.

• Not only are we going to share campus, no we have to split the dorms! (Boy dorms at west, Girl dorms at east)

• They are moving here in less than a week.



In less than a week. I groaned and started banging my head on my desk. Maybe if I bang it hard enough, I could travel back in time and prevent this all from happening in the first place!

“Cerise, what are you doing?” asked a worried voice.



“Trying to time travel.”



Mr Reynolds frowned at me. It was Tuesday, first period. We had art. Ugh. I was in no mood to talk about Vincent Van Gogh’s problems. I have enough of my own, thank-you.



“Having a concussion won’t lead you back to the past, only unconsciousness.”



Ugh. I stopped banging my head and looked up and stared at him. Mr. Reynolds could be handsome I thought, then shuddered, If I rolled that way.

 What is wrong with me? Obviously, banging my head was not the key to time travel, but brain damage.



“Today sucks.” I whined, “Can’t it just go away?”



Mr. Reynolds just tutted at me before walking away. I stared at him. Hey! What’s his problem? Usually he’s the VIP guest to my pity-party! One should be honoured to hold such a title! Wasn’t he supposed to be my old and wise confidant? My pity mentor? I shook my head at him. I’m losing faith in him.



Oh. But what he just did made him my official favourite teacher.



He told off Yasmin.

 Hah. I smirked at her. But to my surprise, she didn’t retort or even glare at me, like how she usually would. Instead, she just sighed, her brown eyes sorrowful. And that was when I was punched in the face by another WHOOSH.



Yesterday, the day I had asked the bald principal for a dorm room, someone else had. And that someone had to be Yasmin. Yasmin, my childhood rival and arch nemesis. I groaned and slapped my forehead in frustration. Which brought another WHOOSH.



(Un?)luckily, Lee-Min was sharing dorms with us.



So my dorm-mates were Lee-Min and Yasmin.



I groaned. I hadn’t informed my family I was going to live in the dorms. Knowing my brothers, I knew they wouldn’t take the news lightly.