Touched by Angels, Though I Fall out of Grace

Aiden’s POV

I sat there thinking about everything Gabriel had said, you know sometimes I wish I could sleep just to give my mind a rest but I can’t, I have to stay awake with all these thoughts running around in my head. The piano is the only thing that clears my mind so I went downstairs and played on another one of my many pianos for a few hours. This piano was my favourite one Gabriel gave it to me for my 190th birthday five years ago. When the sun began to rise again I thought it was about time I went back. It was 7 in the morning when I drove my Lamborghini away from the house; I loved that house the most out of all the ones we’ve built. All the others were beautiful but due to the development in America most of our other homes were now in the middle of suburbia, which made me a little uneasy.

When I got back everyone else was at school but for some reason Gerard’s car was still in the drive. I left the car in the driveway and ran to his door, I wanted no needed to talk to him about the other night and this was the perfect opportunity. When I opened the door the house was filled with an overwhelming smell of… blood. I was in his room in a second he wasn’t in there; the smell was coming from the bathroom. The bathroom door was locked when I tried it, I tried calling out for him but there was no reply I could hear his heartbeat still but it was slowing down. I ripped the door down and then saw him lying there on the bathroom floor, his wrists were cut and there were empty pill bottles all over the floor as well as an empty liquor bottle. He smelt sogood bad, I went straight downstairs and phoned the ambulance I knew he could still be saved, I had just got here in time. I went straight back upstairs back to him

“Gerard” I slapped him as lightly as I could at this point, his blood was all around us. I had wrapped his wrists with pieces of my t-shirt, they were tight enough maybe even too tight but he wasn’t going to bleed out of them anymore.

I sat with his head on my chest wondering how I could empty his stomach of it’s contents, if only I had watched more TV and those horrible soap operas they always seemed to have someone do something stupid like this on every episode.

“Gerard speak to me,” I said using my gift

“Aiden” he said using all his strength, maybe I shouldn’t be doing this

“How do I empty your stomach?” I asked him commandingly again

“Stick your fingers down my throat,” he said back, he was dying I could hear it in his voice, guilt was flowing through me but I knew this would make it better. I stuck my fingers down his throat and then he started to gag, I held him over the toilet and he started to throw up. I could hear the ambulance sirens but I didn’t know how far away it was, Gerard was sweating and shaking but he was nearly as cold as I was. Gerard stopped throwing up and then passed out in my arms, I wanted to take him downstairs but the paramedics may ask questions, some may call me paranoid but I’m just cautious.

The paramedics took him to the hospital they said I could go with but I couldn’t stand the smell of his blood on my clothes. I cleaned up the mess in his bathroom and then cleaned myself up, I told Elizabeth what had happened she was going to pick Gabriel, Mikey and Frank up from school and then take them to the hospital. I was worrying about the cars and what kind of questions would arise from them but Elizabeth told me off and told me that’s not what I’m suppose to be thinking about, she got a little angry with me and told me off for not getting my priorities straight, she was right. I took my Lamborghini to the hospital though I was contemplating on stealing one of the neighbour’s cars but Elizabeth was right I shouldn’t be thinking about that when Gerard just nearly died.

When I got to the hospital Gerard had already been taken care of and was in one of the hospital beds. The nurse said I couldn’t go and see him unless I was family but when I told her that I was the one who found him she started embracing me like I was her family, I kind of wish that I had just snuck in. When I got to his room he was still unconscious but his heartbeat was regular again, I sat on his bedside watching his chest rise and fall. When Gerard had told me he thought he was worthless and that he though his life was meaningless I didn’t think he would go as far as to commit suicide, he had told me he wanted to live forever and he didn’t want to die, why would he then go and take his own life? What would have pushed him over the edge? I sat there watching his face as I pondered these things, then it struck me; I am the one who pushed him over the edge, I am the person who drove him to do this, I am horrible person.

I left the room and took a walk around the hospital. When I was headed back to Gerard’s room after an hour or two of thinking I saw Gabriel, Mikey and Frank walking towards me.

“Aiden” Mikey shouted and then ran up to me and hugged me; I was highly taken back and had no idea what to do. Elizabeth had told them everything on the way here, she had painted me to be some kind of hero where really I was the cause.

“Hello Mikey” I replied and then wrapped my arms around him as I was supposed to do

“Thank you so much” he pulled away and kissed me on the cheek, he really loved Gerard I felt so sorry for him. I had no idea what to say back to him

“Let’s go and see him,” I said as I led Mikey into Gerard’s room, he was awake.
Gerard was lying there looking up at the ceiling I looked over at Gabriel he looked like he was going to be sick. Gerard didn’t look at us as we walked in, I stayed by the door as Mikey and Frank talked to him but he didn’t reply to anything they said. His eyes darted from Mikey to Frank and then they were on me, they were so sad and tortured. He didn’t take his eyes off me Mikey and Frank turned and looked at me then they started going into the story of how I saved him though they didn’t know all the details, Gerard smiled but I knew it was fake, who would smile in thanks at someone who had saved them from suicide?

“Oh my gosh Gerard you should see their car too, it’s fucking awesome!” Frank said in pure excitement, Gerard didn’t say anything he was still looking at me.

“Yeah Gerard it was a Porsche” Mikey replied this made Gerard raise his eyebrows I let out a sigh. If they thought the Porsche was great what were they going to think about my Lamborghini and now that I think of it how was I going to explain the fact that I would be driving it? Right I’m smart, I think about what the cars but not who’s driving them, well at least I can actually drive.

“Aiden are you okay?” Gabriel asked me very silently

“I’m fine thank you Gabriel” I replied in the same way, none of the others could here us even if they were standing on our feet.

“Aiden?” Gabriel pleaded, I knew it was frustrating for him to feel other people’s emotions and not know why they were feeling that way, especially me.

“I need to talk to Gerard alone” I told him, he nodded

“Hey Mikey, Frank do you want to go and get coffee with me?” he asked them, he said their favourite word, well in Mikey’s case his two favourite words.

When they had left I went and sat by Gerard’s bedside again.

“Hello Gerard” I said he continued to look at me; he hadn’t taken his eyes off me.

“I’m not going to ask you any questions I just want you to understand something” I told him, he needed to know a few things but not the major things. He just lay there

“I’m not good with emotions or feelings actually I hardly understand most of them, I’m not what most people would call ‘normal’. I’ve had problems too Gerard things which you probably wouldn’t believe, my life hasn’t been easy though it may look like it has.” I paused for a second his expression still hadn’t changed I could tell he didn’t really believe what I had told him.

“Two years ago my whole family died, I was adopted by Elizabeth and Tristian.” I told him, this is the story that we told anyone who asked; actually it was normally when they met Elizabeth and Tristian. Gerard looked surprised and then pushed himself up a little but he still didn’t speak

“See Gerard I’m not what I seem just like you” I finished, he coughed a little

“Sorry” he said empathetically and then reached for my hand, this wasn’t supposed to be about me but I also said I wasn’t going to ask any questions.

“Don’t be sorry it wasn’t your fault, its just life, it’s cruel and never ending,” I said as I looked down at his hand resting on the edge of the bed waiting for me to hold it. I took his hand in mine it was warm again I was relieved, he was looking at me puzzled

“Life does have an end” he corrected me. Everyone’s life does have an end but mine would have to end at the means of someone else, whereas his could easily betaken by anyone or just himself.

“Why do you want to end your life?” I asked and then realised that I wasn’t supposed to ask questions

“Sorry, you don’t have to answer that” I said quickly after I had asked.

“Seeing as you can’t ask questions can I?” he asked, I laughed a little he just asked one

“Yes Gerard you may” I answered as he smiled genuinely

“Why do you care that I live so much?” he asked me highly interested

“Because there are so many people who would wish to have a life like you have and to have a brother like you have,” I explained, it sounded as though I was talking about under privileged people.

“Well they can have it, I don’t want it” he said angrily and gripped my hand harder I thought he would pull it away from me.

“Gerard you have no idea what you have, what people would do to have your life, what I would do to have your life” I said and then I pulled my hand away from his it was reminding me too much of what he was willing to give up.

“What’s wrong with your life? You have Gabriel and a family willing to take you in and look after you and love you, you also have a great house and a fucking awesome car and if that isn’t enough your extraordinarily beautiful and captivating” he shouted at me.

“Gerard I told you my life isn’t what it seems, I’ve had to pay an enormous price for all of this and I didn’t even want it, if you knew exactly what I was then you wouldn’t even want to know me.” I said angrily but trying not to growl, I stood up and stood at the end of his bed.

“Yeah right Aiden, I would want to know you no matter what you are, no matter if you were a serial killer” he said laughing to himself, there wasn’t anything funny about that, I was a serial killer about 100 years ago.

“I wouldn’t be laughing Gerard” I looked at him evilly he stopped laughing immediately.

“Well I don’t care if you were a serial killer that wouldn’t change the way I feel about you” he sat up straight now

“Gerard if you knew what I’ve done in my very long life time and what I can do you would be running” I was gripping the end of his bed so hard that I had made hand marks in it

“Aiden I wouldn’t run from you ever, I know you now and you couldn’t turn out to be anything dangerous unless you’re a vampire or something which I think would be cool” he said with a laugh again

“Gerard” I growled and then left the room, I went and sat back in the car.

I waited there for an hour trying to calm down it didn’t help that people kept on looking through the window, they didn’t know I was in it. It was even worse when they tried to talk to me or flirt with me. When Gabriel, Mikey and Frank got to the car Mikey and Frank were in awe with the car too, they didn’t even say anything about me driving until I started up the car.

“Aiden do you know how to drive?” Frank asked a little scared while he and Mikey put on their safety belts on.

“Yes” I replied ending any further conversation. I speed out of the car park and back home, it was a while away but with my driving it hardly took anytime. Mikey and Frank were freaking out about how fast I was driving but I didn’t care, it was a stress release. Gabriel tried to tell me to slow down once but he didn’t try again. We got home in twenty minutes whereas normally it would take forty.