Touched by Angels, Though I Fall out of Grace

Frank’s POV

It’s now two weeks after Gerard tried to commit suicide and he still isn’t talking to anyone really, except the odd word here and there. His mum sent him to see a physiatrist but I don’t think that’s really helping because now and then I notice the new scars on his wrists. What’s been horrible this past week is that Aiden went away to her grandmothers. She stayed around for the first week while Gerard was still in hospital but then when they brought him home Gabriel told us she had to go and visit her grandmother. The week while Gerard was in hospital everyone was so sad and busy with other things, no one seemed to be around the house. Mikey was having a really hard time but I think if Gabriel hadn’t been around he would’ve been worse, I can’t believe they’re like together now. Actually I have no idea if they’re together or not Mikey told me how he told Gabriel that he liked him and that Gabriel said the same thing but he didn’t say anything more. You know I thought I really liked Aiden but I don’t think I actually do not after the way I’ve seen Mikey respond to Gabriel they’re so… so… I don’t know how to describe it, so… in love yeah that’s it; they’re in love I wonder if they know?

Last night I was staying at Mikey’s again, I haven’t stayed at home or even been home in the past week. I got up off the couch where I had fallen asleep to get a drink of water, when I did Gerard was stumbling through the door.

“Gerard what are you doing?” I asked him as he shut the door as quietly as he could, it wasn’t that quiet. He just looked at me and then went into the kitchen, I followed I need to go in there anyway.

“Gerard have you been drinking again?” I asked him, he smelt so bad it was like stale cigarettes and alcohol all mixed into one, it was horrible oh and I also think I smelt vomit on him too. He didn’t reply he just grabbed some painkillers and some water

“What’s the matter with you?” I asked disgusted at what he was doing, he had just nearly committed suicide two weeks ago and now he was already up to his normal antics.

“You know Frank you’re so much cuter when you’re quiet” he said as he got really close to me, if he wasn’t drunk and didn’t smell so bad I might have retaliated in the same way but I didn’t.

“Gerard you’re drunk and you smell and look like crap,” I told him as I took a step back and hit the counter.

“Oh Frankie baby” he replied as he got closer once again herding me into the corner of the counters, I was stuck.

“Gerard you’re drunk,” I repeated I was becoming uncomfortable; in any other circumstance I would be fine with this, maybe.

“But I still know what I want” he said as he caressed my face and then before I knew it he was kissing me and I was… kissing him back.

I don’t know what happened to me, I thought I was in control but I guess I was wrong he was much bigger and stronger than me. Somehow I ended up sitting on the counter top and with my shirt off, Gerard was kissing my chest all over heading for my crouch.

“Holy fuck,” I snapped out of it and pushed him away from me, he just looked up at me and then shrugged his shoulders.

“You know where I am if you decided to change your mind” he said as he walked off upstairs and left me in a daze on the counter half naked.
I have no idea what happened it was like I blacked out or something; I don’t even know how much time had gone past. I grabbed by t-shirt from on top of the fridge and then went and lay back down on the couch. I fell asleep really easily I was so glad that it was the weekend and maybe I’d get to sleep in, which I didn’t because Gabriel woke me up.

When I woke up he was perched on the arm of the couch I was sleeping on, watching TV.

“Sorry Frank did I wake you?” he asked with a smile, he always gets up really early I don’t know how he does it.

“Of course not Gabriel because that wasn’t your evil plan” I replied begrudgingly and kicked him off the side of the couch.

“Oh Frank now that wasn’t nice” he said as he stood up and dusted himself off.

“Sue Me,” I replied as I hid my head in the side of the couch

“I wouldn’t do that but I will annoy you until you get up” he said coming and kneeling at my back and leaning over me

“I don’t know how Aiden puts up with you” I replied as I turned over and threw the blankets off me

“She can’t that why she goes away” he laughed, I knew he was joking I’ve noticed since Aiden’s been away Gabriel comes over earlier and spends more time with us, I’ve also noticed he always seems more preoccupied and sometimes I think he really misses her even though she’s only been away from the week. I sat up and leaned my head back against the couch

“So what are we doing this weekend?” he asked too happily I liked it better when Aiden was here as well she seemed to calm him down more, he’s been acting too happy.

“I have no idea why don’t you go and wake Mikey up and ask” I told him Mikey should get the torture of being woken up earlier too.

“Okay” he said as he skipped off upstairs.

It was ten minutes before Gabriel came back down followed closely behind by Mikey he looked terrible too. I already had the coffee made, if we were going to be woken up this early we have to have coffee.

“I had an idea for what to do this weekend” Gabriel announced, he didn’t drink coffee actually I don’t think he drinks or eats at all from what I’ve seen.

“What?” Mikey asked as he sipped his coffee

“We should go and visit Aiden,” he said smiling a lot

“Isn’t she at your grandmothers?” I asked him it seemed kind of strange

“Yes but her house is huge and anyway she’s in hospital so the house would be ours” he explained it sounded like a pretty good idea.

“Yeah that sounds good but how we going to get there?” Mikey asked

“Driving of course” Gabriel replied like it was something obvious

“In what car and by who?” Mikey asked again

“In my car and by me” Gabriel said grinning mischievously; I think he really missed Aiden but I had no idea he could drive or that he had a car.

“Right when did you learn to drive and I didn’t know you had a car,” I responded

“What? Do you think Aiden can drive but I can’t and you’ve already been in my car before,” he was right Aiden was a year younger than him he should also know how to drive, but I don’t remember him telling us about his car and the only cars of theirs was the Lamborghini Aiden took, Gwendolyn’s Mitsubishi, their dad’s Honda and the Porsche which was… his?

“The Porsche is yours?” I asked astounded by my conclusion he just smiled and nodded his head.

“It’s yours?!” Mikey nearly shouted at him

“Yes, Aiden got it for me for Christmas” he explained, lucky fuck

“I wish Aiden was my sister” Mikey said jokingly

“Yes but if she was then I’d be your brother and that’s just wrong” Gabriel laughed and then kissed Mikey on the cheek, Mikey blushed as red as a tomato it was the first time that I’ve seen them being properly affectionate as in couple affection.

We went over to Gabriel’s and he talked to his mother about it she was fine with it but she did say that we shouldn’t stay the night since Mikey’s parents hadn’t been told. That was fine with us until Gabriel told us that it was in Orange County, which was about ten hours away. It’s funny because Gabriel promised us that it wouldn’t take more than five hours, which was half the time that it should take but when we started Mikey and I understood. Gabriel was driving at double the speed limit and sometimes he was hardly looking at the road it kind of scared me but he seemed to know when there was a car coming and we didn’t once come close to having an accident. We got to the house at around midday seeing that Gabriel woke us up at like 7 in the morning.

The house was in the middle of nowhere and it was absolutely beautiful just like them. It was two stories high maybe three I’m not sure if there were rooms in the attic but it was large enough for it to have some. The front of the house had a beautiful garden with arrangements of colourful flowers; Aiden’s Lamborghini was sitting outside the garage looking perfect in it’s environment. The garage was open showing a car in the middle of being done up, when we got out of the car I noticed Aiden was under it fixing it. We had an awesome day, there wasn’t much for us to do around the house except to listen to Aiden play the piano, which I could do forever. We decided to go outside and explore the surrounding forest, Gabriel said he knew all the best places and he did, by the time we got back from the house Aiden had gone out and gotten us lunch and then she was back under the car. Gabriel told us how Aiden liked doing up cars and then selling them again and that was like a stress reliever to her just like playing the piano. That was the best day any of us have had in a while it was great especially for Mikey, as the sun started to drop we started talking about going home. When the clocks turned 8 we all knew we better be heading home but none of us wanted to, Aiden was the one who made us go home, there was no phone there so we couldn’t call home and tell them we weren’t coming back tonight so we had to go. Mikey and I waited in the car while Gabriel said goodbye to Aiden, she said she might be back sometime next week and if she wasn’t she would definitely be back the week after because that’s when we have our exams and assessments.

When we got back it was like being thrown into icy water, all of our problems suddenly came rushing back to us. Gabriel said goodnight to us and then went into his house, Mikey and I stumbled into his house neither of us knew we were that tired. I fell asleep on the couch and Mikey went up to his room. It was 3 in the morning when I was awoken again by Gerard I lay there and pretended to be asleep. He didn’t go upstairs like I hoped instead he came over to me

“Hey Frankie baby” he drew his hand over my face and whispered in my ear, I couldn’t smell any alcohol on him but he still smelt like stale cigarettes and worse than I normally did. I lay there and tried not to move

“Frankie” he whispered right in my ear and then started kissing the side of my face

“Gerard” I said in annoyance, I did and didn’t want to do this, he may not be drunk but he still might be high

“But Frankie baby you said last night that you didn’t want to because I was drunk, well tonight I’m not and it’s all for you” he told me as he licked the side of my face, he was high and that was strangely… seducing in a weird kind of way.

“Gerard you’re high,” I pleaded not knowing if he was or not

“No I’m not Frankie and I know you want this as much as I do” he said and then kissed me like he had the other night my head started to feel like it was spinning I was glad I was lying down.

I woke up in a different room and was instantly scared, what the hell had happened? I opened my eyes and all I saw was darkness I turned over and suddenly realised where I was. I was in Gerard’s room and he was lying right next to me with his arms around me yet I didn’t notice, I also didn’t noticed the fact that I was totally butt naked and so was he.

“Fuck!” I shouted out when I realised, how the hell don’t I remember a thing? I wasn’t drunk or on drugs so why don’t I remember? Was he like a drug or something?

“Shh Frankie” Gerard whispered and then pulled me closer, he remembered? He pulled me closer? What the hell was happening?

“Gerard I don’t remember anything” I whispered a centimetre away from his face, he kissed me once before answering

“That’s a pity maybe we should try again,” he continued kissing along my jaw and then my chest. Okay at the moment I so want to know what happened, why couldn’t I remember it? I want to remember! Gerard came back up to my lips and kissed me, my head started spinning again and then once again I woke up and then fell onto his bed in exhaustion.

“Holy fuck babe” Gerard panted from behind me that’s when I knew exactly what we had been doing and also by the fact that my arse hurt like hell. I started freaking out

“Gerard I don’t remember! I don’t remember anything! Gerard what’s wrong with me?! Fucking hell what’s wrong with me?!” I shouted and then buried myself under the blanket on his bed.

“Frankie calm down babe” he tried to calm me down playing with my hair

“Gerard I don’t fucking remember!” I shouted at him, he looked so sad

“Frankie please babe” he pleaded not in the voice he used last night or the other night but his normal voice.

“Gerard what’s wrong with me?” I asked him pulling my head from under the blanket

“Nothing is babe, nothing at all” he kissed my forehead and then wrapped his arms around my waist lying with me. He started humming after a while and I slowly drifted off to sleep again.