Touched by Angels, Though I Fall out of Grace
Unwanted
Frank’s POV
When I woke up in Gerard’s bed alone I wasn’t scared, I was confused but not scared. I got up and tried to find my clothes, I only managed to find my pants. I smelt bad and I was sticky all over, I also hurt all over especially my arse I wish I remembered last night but I’d pass on the painful part. I decided to have a shower and clean myself up. When I got downstairs Mikey and Gabriel were sitting on the couch in each other’s arms watching TV. I fell into the single armchair and moaned in pain, I really shouldn’t have done that.
“Hey Frank where did you come from?” Mikey asked and Gabriel just looked at me like he knew what was going on.
“Um… I was upstairs” I stumbled over my words I had no idea what to tell him.
“Where abouts?” he asked looking at me puzzled,
“I slept on Gerard’s floor” I lied it was the best I could come up with.
“What happened?” he asked another question,
“He came home wasted so I helped him up there, then he got a little weird you know” I shrugged trying to act normal so he wouldn’t know I was lying.
Mikey had believed everything I had said but I think somehow Gabriel knew, Gabriel always knew. We hung out together all day, for a while I’ve been feeling ignored. Now that Gabriel was around all the time Mikey and I didn’t talk so much, I was always feeling like a third wheel. When Gerard came home that afternoon he ignored me too, he was acting just like any other day, it was so frustrating. I was practically invisible! I thought now that Gerard and I were you know, intimate that he would act differently, that I would be noticed but it wasn’t to be that way. That night just after Gabriel had gone home and we were all having dinner, I went in to the kitchen. Gerard followed me in there I thought he was just getting something. While I was getting some water he came up behind me
“Hey babe” he acknowledged me and then kissed my neck as his arms wrapped around my waist. It felt so great to know that someone knew I was there. I leaned my head onto his shoulder and let out a long sigh
“What’s up babe?” he asked me kissing the side of my face more.
“You’re like a drug to me Gerard, every time you kiss me I forget… I forget everything,” I said absolutely truthfully, I did forget everything and it was annoying.
”Well maybe we should try again tonight but with no kissing,” he said as his hands played with my belt creating friction. I moaned in pleasure, my opinion about this had changed. He wasn’t drunk or drugged I had convinced myself, he just wanted me.
That night Gerard didn’t go out but instead stayed in his room. Mikey and I bid each other goodnight at about one in the morning. I lay on the couch thinking for an hour then I remembered Gerard’s offer, I didn’t know if that meant that he would come down or that I had to go up to him. I decided to chance it and crept upstairs, I didn’t knock on Gerard’s door but instead just opened it.
“Hey babe” he said grinning sitting on his bed. I just smiled back I hadn’t quite figured out my words yet.
“Come sit” he patted the bed next to him, I took a second before I accepted. I didn’t have any idea what to do, the last time that we had done anything I can’t remember what I did or how it started except with a kiss. When I sat down he started to run his hand up my leg slowly, I leant over and kissed his cheek.
“Uh un, no kissing remember druggy” he grinned slyly ,
“No kissing my lips,” I said as I tapped his.
“Well that’s much better,” he said as he attacked my neck, I lay back on his bed and he climbed on top of me, straddling me. He kept kissing my neck and it felt so good I just wanted to pull him up to my lips and kiss him properly. He lifted my top off and over my head and then threw it somewhere in his room, hopefully I’ll be able to find that one in the morning. Gerard was kissing all over my chest I couldn’t take it anymore; I pulled him up and kissed him passionately. I broke away from his a second later, nothing had happened. I pulled him back onto me and began to kiss him again; he kissed me back, the last thing I remember was the feeling of his tongue exploring the depths of my mouth.
When I awoke I was actually sleeping, I was naked in Gerard’s arms again but I could tell by the heat of our bodies that I hadn’t been for long. I was so angry with myself for giving in though I did think that it wasn’t going to happen again. I lay in Gerard’s arms and buried my head in his chest trying to remember anything at all but I couldn’t. I was floating off to sleep when Gerard began to sleep talk, I tried to listen but he wasn’t making much sense until he said something that did
“Aiden don’t leave me I love you” he said loud and clear and then started mumbling again. I was wide-awake now. I lay there thinking for little under an hour until I made up my mind. I got up and collect my clothes from around his room I still didn’t find my t-shirt from the other night and then I went back downstairs to the couch.
Gerard doesn’t really want me he’s just lonely and wanted to get some and he did. I guess I was lonely as well and just wanted to know that someone cared that much, I guess I just tricked myself into thinking he actually genuinely liked me. I’m so stupid I should’ve seen it! It was right in front of my eyes, Aiden couldn’t be around him after they had an argument and then when he came home she had to go and visit her ‘grandmother’. You know when we visited her it didn’t look like a grandmother could live there; actually it looked like their house here. Gerard is in love with Aiden but I’m guessing that she isn’t in love with him.
I couldn’t sleep so I just lay there; I really needed someone to talk to someone who knew me. Time went by quickly and the sun was rising, I went out front to have a smoke when I saw Gabriel and Aiden’s mother gardening.
“Hello Mrs. Winter” I called as I threw out my smoke, I was ashamed to have her see me smoking.
“Oh hello there Frank” she replied looking up from the garden, she was just as beautiful as her children
“How are you Mrs. Winter?” I asked walking closer, why was she gardening this early in the morning?
“I’m very good Frank and Frank please call me Elizabeth” she replied smiling up at me, she was so calm and relaxed that it made me feel that way too.
“Okay Elizabeth” I replied but it didn’t sound right, it was a beautiful name but it just wasn’t right for me to call her that, I didn’t deserve that.
“How are you this morning Frank?” she asked me as I kneeled with her
“I’m okay, do you need some help?” I asked her wanting to make myself useful
“If you’d like to sure” she replied joyously, I started pulling out the small amount of weeds around the flowers. Her garden was similar to the one at their grandmothers, I wonder if she did her garden too.
“Did you do the garden at Gabriel and Aiden’s grandmother’s too?” I asked throwing the weeds into the pile next to her.
“Yes, I love gardening like Aiden likes playing the piano or Gwendolyn likes playing soccer or like Gabriel likes signing,” she explained, I had no idea that Gabriel liked signing.
“Gabriel signs?” I asked a little surprised, I wouldn’t have guessed that
“Yes he has a voice of an angel but he hardly ever signs when people except Aiden are around” she explained looking up at me from the garden. Of course Aiden was the only one who had heard him, Aiden and him were so close it was like they couldn’t live apart.
I helped Elizabeth outside for about two whole hours before I got hungry and went back inside. I was sitting at the breakfast bar having some coffee of course when Gerard came down the stairs. He came into the kitchen and didn’t notice me for a while
“Morning babe” Gerard greeted me finally noticing I was there.
“Morning” I said irritated I was still angry about what I had heard him say, how couldn’t I be?
“What’s up?” he asked walking around to me
“Nothing” I snapped and drunk more coffee
“Come on Frankie” Gerard pleaded with me as he kissed my neck, I pulled away from him.
“Frankie” Gerard said sounding hurt I stood up and turned around to face him
“You don’t want me Gerard,” I said to him looking at the ground.
“Yes I do Frankie” he walked towards me wanting to embrace me, I walked away towards the lounge.
“No, you want Aiden” I said feeling the hurt inside myself, having to admit it was harder than I thought.
“No I want you!” he shouted at me
“No you love her, you said it in your sleep!” I shouted back at him, he didn’t want me no one did. He didn’t reply
“That’s what I thought” I huffed before I walked out of the house, he didn’t even try denying it.
When I woke up in Gerard’s bed alone I wasn’t scared, I was confused but not scared. I got up and tried to find my clothes, I only managed to find my pants. I smelt bad and I was sticky all over, I also hurt all over especially my arse I wish I remembered last night but I’d pass on the painful part. I decided to have a shower and clean myself up. When I got downstairs Mikey and Gabriel were sitting on the couch in each other’s arms watching TV. I fell into the single armchair and moaned in pain, I really shouldn’t have done that.
“Hey Frank where did you come from?” Mikey asked and Gabriel just looked at me like he knew what was going on.
“Um… I was upstairs” I stumbled over my words I had no idea what to tell him.
“Where abouts?” he asked looking at me puzzled,
“I slept on Gerard’s floor” I lied it was the best I could come up with.
“What happened?” he asked another question,
“He came home wasted so I helped him up there, then he got a little weird you know” I shrugged trying to act normal so he wouldn’t know I was lying.
Mikey had believed everything I had said but I think somehow Gabriel knew, Gabriel always knew. We hung out together all day, for a while I’ve been feeling ignored. Now that Gabriel was around all the time Mikey and I didn’t talk so much, I was always feeling like a third wheel. When Gerard came home that afternoon he ignored me too, he was acting just like any other day, it was so frustrating. I was practically invisible! I thought now that Gerard and I were you know, intimate that he would act differently, that I would be noticed but it wasn’t to be that way. That night just after Gabriel had gone home and we were all having dinner, I went in to the kitchen. Gerard followed me in there I thought he was just getting something. While I was getting some water he came up behind me
“Hey babe” he acknowledged me and then kissed my neck as his arms wrapped around my waist. It felt so great to know that someone knew I was there. I leaned my head onto his shoulder and let out a long sigh
“What’s up babe?” he asked me kissing the side of my face more.
“You’re like a drug to me Gerard, every time you kiss me I forget… I forget everything,” I said absolutely truthfully, I did forget everything and it was annoying.
”Well maybe we should try again tonight but with no kissing,” he said as his hands played with my belt creating friction. I moaned in pleasure, my opinion about this had changed. He wasn’t drunk or drugged I had convinced myself, he just wanted me.
That night Gerard didn’t go out but instead stayed in his room. Mikey and I bid each other goodnight at about one in the morning. I lay on the couch thinking for an hour then I remembered Gerard’s offer, I didn’t know if that meant that he would come down or that I had to go up to him. I decided to chance it and crept upstairs, I didn’t knock on Gerard’s door but instead just opened it.
“Hey babe” he said grinning sitting on his bed. I just smiled back I hadn’t quite figured out my words yet.
“Come sit” he patted the bed next to him, I took a second before I accepted. I didn’t have any idea what to do, the last time that we had done anything I can’t remember what I did or how it started except with a kiss. When I sat down he started to run his hand up my leg slowly, I leant over and kissed his cheek.
“Uh un, no kissing remember druggy” he grinned slyly ,
“No kissing my lips,” I said as I tapped his.
“Well that’s much better,” he said as he attacked my neck, I lay back on his bed and he climbed on top of me, straddling me. He kept kissing my neck and it felt so good I just wanted to pull him up to my lips and kiss him properly. He lifted my top off and over my head and then threw it somewhere in his room, hopefully I’ll be able to find that one in the morning. Gerard was kissing all over my chest I couldn’t take it anymore; I pulled him up and kissed him passionately. I broke away from his a second later, nothing had happened. I pulled him back onto me and began to kiss him again; he kissed me back, the last thing I remember was the feeling of his tongue exploring the depths of my mouth.
When I awoke I was actually sleeping, I was naked in Gerard’s arms again but I could tell by the heat of our bodies that I hadn’t been for long. I was so angry with myself for giving in though I did think that it wasn’t going to happen again. I lay in Gerard’s arms and buried my head in his chest trying to remember anything at all but I couldn’t. I was floating off to sleep when Gerard began to sleep talk, I tried to listen but he wasn’t making much sense until he said something that did
“Aiden don’t leave me I love you” he said loud and clear and then started mumbling again. I was wide-awake now. I lay there thinking for little under an hour until I made up my mind. I got up and collect my clothes from around his room I still didn’t find my t-shirt from the other night and then I went back downstairs to the couch.
Gerard doesn’t really want me he’s just lonely and wanted to get some and he did. I guess I was lonely as well and just wanted to know that someone cared that much, I guess I just tricked myself into thinking he actually genuinely liked me. I’m so stupid I should’ve seen it! It was right in front of my eyes, Aiden couldn’t be around him after they had an argument and then when he came home she had to go and visit her ‘grandmother’. You know when we visited her it didn’t look like a grandmother could live there; actually it looked like their house here. Gerard is in love with Aiden but I’m guessing that she isn’t in love with him.
I couldn’t sleep so I just lay there; I really needed someone to talk to someone who knew me. Time went by quickly and the sun was rising, I went out front to have a smoke when I saw Gabriel and Aiden’s mother gardening.
“Hello Mrs. Winter” I called as I threw out my smoke, I was ashamed to have her see me smoking.
“Oh hello there Frank” she replied looking up from the garden, she was just as beautiful as her children
“How are you Mrs. Winter?” I asked walking closer, why was she gardening this early in the morning?
“I’m very good Frank and Frank please call me Elizabeth” she replied smiling up at me, she was so calm and relaxed that it made me feel that way too.
“Okay Elizabeth” I replied but it didn’t sound right, it was a beautiful name but it just wasn’t right for me to call her that, I didn’t deserve that.
“How are you this morning Frank?” she asked me as I kneeled with her
“I’m okay, do you need some help?” I asked her wanting to make myself useful
“If you’d like to sure” she replied joyously, I started pulling out the small amount of weeds around the flowers. Her garden was similar to the one at their grandmothers, I wonder if she did her garden too.
“Did you do the garden at Gabriel and Aiden’s grandmother’s too?” I asked throwing the weeds into the pile next to her.
“Yes, I love gardening like Aiden likes playing the piano or Gwendolyn likes playing soccer or like Gabriel likes signing,” she explained, I had no idea that Gabriel liked signing.
“Gabriel signs?” I asked a little surprised, I wouldn’t have guessed that
“Yes he has a voice of an angel but he hardly ever signs when people except Aiden are around” she explained looking up at me from the garden. Of course Aiden was the only one who had heard him, Aiden and him were so close it was like they couldn’t live apart.
I helped Elizabeth outside for about two whole hours before I got hungry and went back inside. I was sitting at the breakfast bar having some coffee of course when Gerard came down the stairs. He came into the kitchen and didn’t notice me for a while
“Morning babe” Gerard greeted me finally noticing I was there.
“Morning” I said irritated I was still angry about what I had heard him say, how couldn’t I be?
“What’s up?” he asked walking around to me
“Nothing” I snapped and drunk more coffee
“Come on Frankie” Gerard pleaded with me as he kissed my neck, I pulled away from him.
“Frankie” Gerard said sounding hurt I stood up and turned around to face him
“You don’t want me Gerard,” I said to him looking at the ground.
“Yes I do Frankie” he walked towards me wanting to embrace me, I walked away towards the lounge.
“No, you want Aiden” I said feeling the hurt inside myself, having to admit it was harder than I thought.
“No I want you!” he shouted at me
“No you love her, you said it in your sleep!” I shouted back at him, he didn’t want me no one did. He didn’t reply
“That’s what I thought” I huffed before I walked out of the house, he didn’t even try denying it.
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